Sob Stories
C.1993
click to access m,p3s for download Sob Stories.
You’re An Angel.
I Walk Alone.
I'm a Bit Too Old to Play Those Kind of Games Now, Honey. 
Nothing Really Happened.
On The Cliff.
What The Hell Is Wrong With Me Now?
I Wanted To Buy You A Drink Last Night, But I Didn’t Have The Money.
The Last Laugh.
Lifes’ Unsolved Mysteries.
Why Don’t You Toss Yourself Off?
There’s A Place.
Over The Cliff.

 Instruments used: guitar, percussion bass, organ. Recorded at Freckleton.
After “potatoes” I wanted to do something quieter, simpler and more song orientated. All the tracks were written on guitar, rather than bass or drums, as most, but not all, of the others had been.

Sob Stories
 Actually the last one written. I thought it would be fun to start with a loud punky thrash.

You’re An Angel
 I think this, as well as most of the album, is quite funny, as well as being sad and poignant.

You’re an angel, and I’m a freak.
I saw you standing in the bar the other week.
You were looking round for someone to talk to.
I just hung around, didn’t know what to do.

Our eyes met, and it made my legs go weak.
I saw you thinking, ”Now, who the hell’s that freak?”
Then you looked at me, with a kind of pity.
I know I’m ugly, girl, but you’re so pretty.

You’re an angel.
You’re an angel.
You’re an angel.
Such an angel.

You’re a stranger in my hometown.
You need someone to take you out, and show you round.
I couldn’t do it, ’cos I know I’d fall in love;
And besides, I’m banned from all the pubs.

There’s no danger, I’m not sick.
You’re intelligent and I’m just thick.
If you were to love me, from a sense of duty,
I would drag you down and tarnish your beauty.

You’re an angel.
You’re an angel.
You’re an angel.
Such an angel.


I Walk Alone
  Kind of country rock. The chorus is slightly nicked from the Stones’ “No Expectations”.

Well I was drinking down in the bar.
I was trying to forget her.
If you should see her, tell her I’m ok.
Just one more drink, I’ll be on my way.

I walk alone by the riverside.
I lost my love, then I lost my pride.
The things I cherished have now all gone.
Just like the river, I’m moving on.

Take me to the doctor, give me some pills;
I need a cure for these aching chills.
Take me to the station; put me on a train;
I don’t believe I’m coming back again.

She broke my heart when she said goodbye,
I can’t forget her, but I’m gonna try.
Just one more drink, before I go;
Oh, where I’m going, I just don’t know.

Take me to the doctor, give me some pills;
I need a cure for these aching chills.
Take me to the station; put me on a train;
I don’t believe I’m coming back again.


I’m A Bit Too Old To Play Those Kind Of Games Now, Honey
 This was two separate songs for a while. The chords of the main bit are the same as “let’s Be Happy Tonight” by the Hot Zobs.

You told me you were going off to see your mother;
I found out later that you had been with your lover.
You brought home a cake, and said, “This is from my mummy”,
But I’m a bit too old to play those kind of games now, honey.

You went on holiday with the guys from work.
You really must think that I’m some kind of berk.
You had the nerve to ask me for the money;
But I’m a bit too old to play those kind of games now, honey.

We had some good times in the past,
And, like a fool, I thought they’d last.
Now all we ever do is fight,
And sleep in separate rooms at night.

I’ll be Mark Anthony, you be Cleopatra.
I’ll read you passages from the Kama Sutra.
You think I’m silly, you say, “Boy, don’t be so funny”,
‘Cos you’re a bit to old to play those kind of games now, honey.


Nothing Really Happened
The dream I had in the first verse was about Gilly Rowley

I had a dream I ‘d spent the night with you.
When I woke up today, I thought it was still true.
But it’s all in my head; there’s just an empty bed;
Nothing really happened at all.

Nothing really happened, I live in a fantasy.
Nothing really happened, won’t somebody help me?

I told all my friends I’d ask you for a date.
I even told my mum that I would be home late.
But then I chickened out, I just walked about,
Nothing really happened at all.

Nothing really happened, I told my friends a lie.
Nothing really happened, because I was too shy.

I felt so depressed; I wanted to kill myself.
So I took down the pills from the bathroom shelf.
I tipped them in my hand, but I dropped them down the pan,
Nothing really happened at all.

Nothing really happened, I just took two or three.
Nothing really happened, I felt a bit dizzy.


On The Cliff
 I wrote the words when I was about 14, on holiday with my parents at a butlins type place near Dover. I hated it, and every day after breakfast I would wander up to the cliffs by myself, and sit staring out to sea until it was time for tea.

The sea rolls on, into the cliff;
The beach is made of pebbles.
Gulls are flying and plaintively crying,
And the grass grows wild and free.
Oh, how lonely I feel.

I’m all alone, on this quiet, white hill.
Looking out to the sea.
On either side stretch the cliffs, so high,
Nobody here but me.
Oh, how distant I feel.

The tide goes out, the tide comes in;
I just watch and wonder.
The cliff’s grassy, and the wind is blowing,
But I wouldn’t swap places with you.
Oh, how awed I am.

Night is falling, I make my way back,
As the sun sinks over the hills.
I can’t explain why I feel so content,
But I’m gonna come here again.
Oh, how happy I feel.


What The Hell Is Wrong With Me Now?
 I’d had the tune in my head for years. The words are about a flirty girl who was around at the time of the Heathfield Musicians Collective.

First time that I saw you, girl, you blew my mind;
I knew right away that you were my kind,
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Just the other night I was in the pub;
You came up to me; you gave me a hug,
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.

What the hell is wrong with me now?
I wanna love you, I just don’t know how.
I’ve been trying all of this time
To find a way to make you mine, all mine.

Sitting in the pub and I was getting pissed;
You came up to me, you gave me a kiss.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
I just don’t know why I always act this way.
I had you in my arms but I let you slip away,
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.

What the hell is wrong with me now?
I wanna love you, I just don’t know how.
I’ve been trying all of this time
To find a way to make you mine, all mine.

I know you’re living with another guy.
You say you’re leaving, well I’m not surprised.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
I just don’t know why I always act this way.
I had you in my arms but I let you slip away,
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.

What the hell is wrong with me now?
I wanna love you, I just don’t know how.
I’ve been trying all of this time
To find a way to make you mine, all mine.


I Wanted To Buy You A Drink Last Night, But I Didn’t Have The Money
 He can’t afford to buy her a drink, so he offers her a car ride to impress her; only the car won’t start, so they just sit there making small talk, when he suddenly lets off an horrendous smelling fart. You might be able to hear me trying to suppress a laugh when I get to the farting bit.

I wanted to buy you a drink last night
But I didn’t have the money.
Girl, you are such a pretty sight,
I look kinda funny.
But I know, that one day, girl,
We’ll find our way to rainbows’ end;
And you’ll be glad to know
That I’m your lover, and your friend.

I wanted to take you for a ride in my car,
But I couldn’t get it started.
So we sat and talked for a while,
Till you realised I’d farted.
Please believe me, girl,
That nasty smell won’t last forever;
And there will come a time
When you and I can be together.



The Last Laugh
 Another country rock type song.

We made a date for the disco,
Where you made eyes at me.
We made such a lovely couple;
You made me happy.
So we made our vows together,
Then made a family.
You made off with another fella,
And made a fool out of me.

Well I can’t understand what you saw in that man;
Is it just ‘cos he’s richer than me?
Are you really so cold? Would you sell your own soul,
Just to get a bit more money?

You took me to the cleaners
When you took the kids away.
All the love between us;
You took it, and threw it away.
So I took my time for thinking
How to take my revenge on you;
I took on a private eye, To take photo’s and spy;
Now I’ll take you to divorce court and sue.

If you thought I would say everything was ok,
You’ve been reading me wrong, haven’t you?
Well, you’ve been unkind, with your cheating mind,
But I’ll have the last laugh on you.


Life’s Unsolved Mysteries
 Listen to it here
 Why do all the prettiest girls fall for the most obnoxious guys?

How did they build the pyramids?
Is there life on Mars?
What’s the sound of one hand clapping?
How do ships get in jars?
Is the Pope a catholic?
Who lives in the castle?
And how the hell could you fall in love
With such an arsehole?

How long is a piece of string?
What will happen tomorrow?
Is there more to life than this?
Must it be filled with sorrow?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What’s inside the parcel?
And how the hell could you fall in love
With such an arsehole?

These questions keep on worrying me;
They are life’s unsolved mysteries.
If you’ve an answer, tell me now.
I won’t believe you, anyhow.

What’s the price of fish today?
Is there life after death?
Does God exist or not?
How much time have we left?
When will I be famous?
Is it worth the hassle?
And how the hell could you fall in love
With such an asshole?



 

Why Don’t You Toss Yourself Off?
 A very old song. I think I remember playing this in rehearsal with the Snails.

I was standing by the bridge, feeling sad and blue,
Thinking about the times that I’d spent with you.
You had just left me there; it was our last goodbye.
My mind was in despair; I felt that I could die.
I looked down into the water so grey.
I thought I heard a voice inside me say

Why don’t you toss yourself off?
The girl is gone and your love is lost,
Why don’t you toss yourself off the bridge?


There’s A Place
 I’m quite pleased with how I pulled off the guitar solo.

There‘s a place I know, where we both used to go.
But now, I fear, they’ve built a car park there.

There‘s a place I know, where we both used to go,
And we had fun; but the good times have all gone.


Over The Cliff
 “On The Cliff” guitars played backwards, with another guitar and bass played forwards. I think it sounds like someone running towards the edge of a cliff and launching themselves into oblivion.



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