ARCHIVES: FRIDAY 4TH JULY 1997 -THURSDAY 17TH JULY 1997

READ THIS NOW

I'm depressed. I thought my ClanMeet II report was good. Then I read Uther's.

I haven't laughed so much in ages. Go read it (under "Humour").

HOUSECLEANING

I hope that you appreciate the changes (you'll only notice them, I think, if you're using Netscape or IE4). Thanks to Sujoy for the simple solution to my woes.

I'm off for the weekend to another convention. See you all on Monday.

UKCL SEASON II DIVISIONS: PREVIEW

I'm tempted to run around screaming "SCOOP!" here, as this is the first release of the UK Clan League Season 2 divisional structure on the 'net. But I won't.

Here, then, are the preliminary divisonal setups for the UKCL season 2. Please note that these are still subject to change and to new entries into the League before Friday. Thanks to John Burton for rushing them to me.

Division A

Division B

Division C

Division D

OOPS- THE COCKUP...

And The Nomad screws it up again. As sharp-minded people may have noticed, Terminal Gibbage have in fact won two games in the Modem Clan War- one against Minos, and one against TFS. So the MCW page doesn't have it wrong, I do.

Whilst I'm on cockups, I keep getting messages telling me that the picture I have credited as Alchemist in the Gallery is in fact Maddog. I'll change it, but could someone get Maddog to confirm that?

And yes, I will change his Who's Who entry whilst I'm at it...

Right. No more mistakes. Honest.

DARLING, WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION?

Yes, more Quake Movie News. "The" UK Quake movie, Quake War: Invasion (working title) now has its own message board. Go there if you're feeling thespian...

UKCL SEASON 2: THE INCREDIBLE GROWING LEAGUE

And a brief, albeit rather scary word from the UK Clan League site: the number of Clans in the League is now up to over 50...

Prepare for 2000 word plus reports every week...

ACME CLAN MIX NEEDED

You watched Roadrunner, right?

A desperate plea comes in from HKP of ACME:

"ACME are currently looking for a couple of new members. We currently have a tight knit group of commited members but real life means that we all can't be available to play at all times and with two new leagues nearing startup we need to assure full teams if at all possible.

Hence I ask that you pass the message around that we're recruiting at the moment and are looking for anybody who is as nuts about Quake as we are. Skill isn't an issue, we'll soon train you up and with 3-4 matches per week there will be plenty of opportunity to play against the best in the UK."

Mail him if you're interested...

PIPEX SCREWED

A short, simple but important message (from TG-Illusion) forwarded to me by John Burton:

" It seems PIPEX have now replaced most or all of their NetBlazers with NetServers - not that PIPEX tell anyone, I just can't seem to get a NetBlazer connect anymore. No more CRC errors - hooray.

The bad news? NetServers are complete crap for playing Quake, so give up netQuake or get a new ISP. "

Oh, dear. On a related note, I just got Easynet's new software package today, and it's superb. They're pretty fast, too, so if you are leaving Pipex, you might want to try them.

No, I don't work for them.

QFF? UHUH -OH, I'VE DONE THAT JOKE.

The Quad Frag Fest League, the new league aiming to take up where the UKCL 4X left off, has now finalised its membership list, which includes such Clans as the Dark Deviants, Dominion, the Quakelight and a lot of new Clans. For info, go to their (newly updated) Web page.

They've closed entry, but if you apply you can be put on a reserve list. They're also looking for servers.

DATES!

Yes, that problem again. Given that I'd like people to be able to see how old my news is, I'm having a bit of a date clampdown. If you see one of my ubiquitous wrong dates up there, email me about it, please...

Oh, and whilst I'm in Cockup mode... Sorry about the broken link frenzy yesterday- I was updating in a hurry, and I screwed up. The Portrait Gallery can now be accessed through the link above, and a few corrections have been made within it.

Thanks for your patience.

UKCL SCORES

John Burton emails me to tell me that the UKCL scores have been updated with the end of Season 1.

MCW WEEKS TWO AND THREE: ROUNDUP

Yes, last week was a little busy, so here's the roundup on how things stand in the Modem Clan War at the moment.

In Division 1, the Quake Lords and the Dominion remain unbeaten, with QL having won narrowly against the Quake Police Department in Week 3 (68-50) and having crushed CIX by a staggering 239-39 in Week 4 (although the Quake Lords do report that CIX played well, this is still a staggering result for such apparently well-matched teams). Dominion, meanwhile, won against The Desperados 156-75 in Week 3 and against Clan Pendragon 152-88: both relatively easy games for DOM, who still have to play both the Demonic Core and the Quake Lords. Does their lesser success against CIX (178-112 in Week 1) mean that they'll be beaten by the Lords?

Narrowly behind the leaders are the Demonic Core, who lost against QL in the first week and have since been cutting a swathe through such Clans as CIX (154-40, Week 3) and QPD (157-93, Week 4). With only that one win, their upcoming game against DOM might well put them in second place to their old adversaries, the Quake Lords.

The remainder of the Divison are tied on one win apiece, with Clan Pendragon in the lead on frags for/against (at a 42.5% ratio), having lost to The Dominion in Week 4 and Clan Corpus in Week 3 (102-77). CC, in turn, provided The Desperados, in seventh place, with their one win in Week 4, losing to TD 120-35 (apparently partially due to connection problems). Lastly, CIX have certainly been going through a bad patch, having only won one narrow game against Clan Corpus in Week 2.

In Division 2, the contenders are evenly spread. In first place are the Fallen Angels, who in Week 4 won against ACME 131-104 and the Dark Deviants 84-61 (Divison 2 having played two rounds in Week 4 because of the larger size of the divison). In Week 3 they had their narrowest game so far against the oft-underestimated Mere Mortals, winning by only 92-85 (apparently another of the MCW's superbly close games), but win they did. However, FA haven't yet played any of the current top four Clans in the divison, so anything could yet happen.

Separated only by frag count on second and third place are the McMentals and Xtreme Chaos, both new Clans who have proven that they can play as well as any older competitor. XC have, like FA, yet to play any of the top four Clans (their match against FA is scheduled for this week), having beaten the Minos Academy (146-82) and ACME (164-14) in Week 4 and Terminal Gibbage (131-85) in Week 3. However, the McMentals are no better off: although they did beat the Dark Deviants (to whom XC lost) by a crushing 143-35 in Week 4, they too have yet to face any of the other Top 4 Clans. Their other games in the past two weeks were a close victory against MM (71-60) in Week 4 and their one loss to MA, 195-81.

Last in the Top Four, TFS are slightly hamstrung by their draw against DEV in Week 2, counting as a half-loss, and lost in Week 4 to Terminal Gibbage, 78-84.

It's difficult to predict anything from these results, given that the second, third and fourth placed Clans have all lost to Clans that the others easily beat. We'll just have to wait for the top-rated matches.

The next four positions in Divison 4 are all held by Clans who have won only two games: DEV, MA and TG (erroneously placed in the league table)- they've actually only won one game) , in that order. DEV lost both their Week 4 matches, against FA and McM, but managed a clear win against Divison 4's weakest Clan, the Ministry Of Death, in Week 3 (102-21), whilst Minos have been as unpredictable as ever, losing in Week 4 to Xtreme Chaos, but managing a clear win against the tough McMentals in Week 3. Again, MA also won against MoD in Week 4, 71-60.

Lastly, TG, who reformed from their component parts just before the start of the MCW, haven't been having an easy or even time of it. They lost by default to the Mere Mortals in Week 4, days after a narrow victory over TFS, and lost again to Xtreme Chaos in Week 3. Despite their position in the League Table on the MCW homepage, they've actually only won one game, again Minos. Will they be able to prvent their slide to the bottom of the Divison, I wonder?

ACME, late the Jedi Knights, are also stuck on one win, although with several narrow losses, they still might regain their form. The Mere Mortals, with only one default win but a whole host of narrow losses, are very much in the same boat.

Lastly, the Ministry Of Death have not won any games so far. However, they've yet to play ACME or MM, and could concievably still avoid relegation.

Phew. That's Divison 2 done. Now onto Divison 3, the smallest and potentially most interesting divison.

Leading Division 3 are The X and the Biker Klan, both unbeaten ( the X beat BOG 210-37 in Week 4 and Clan Dogz 126-46 in Week 3, whilst BK won narrowly against Vengeance, 168-176, and more decisively against the Dark Preachers, 149-57, in the same weeks). Given the scores both Clans have been managing, it would appear a safe bet the The X will win the divison, but the Klan might yet pull a surprise out of their collective hat (or indeed helmet).

The Quake United Tiger Attack, Vengeance and Clan Dogz are tied on two wins and two losses apiece , but are fairly well separated in that order by their frag ratios. However, with QUTA having lost by ten frags (141-131) to Clan Dogz in Week 4 (default against BOG in Week 3), the positions here are still very changable. Lastly, BOG and the Dark Preachers have won only one game each, in BOG's case against the Legion Of The Insane, who have now departed the League, and in DP's case against LI by default. The DP/BOG game could be very interesting.

And that's all, folks.

QL VS QPD- MORE NEWS

And first tonight, more news on the UK Clan League final, between the Quake Lords and the Quake Police Department. As I mentioned on Saturday, I missed the game, and have spent a fair bit of the time since tracking down reports and information on this clash of the Titans.

The Quake Lords, as you'll no doubt have heard, won the game 157-79: not a devestating loss by any means, but a clear one. If you want to read more about the match, there's a brief report up on the Quake Lords' homepage, although QPD don't have a report up yet. . Baby Fragger has stats available from the game, and here's a screenshot of the final scores:

I see that John B decided to take a more "active" role in that game... Good for him, and thanks to him for the screenie.

Lastly, I have a partial demo recorded by Rorshach, containing a fair amount of "noise", but at least 10 minutes of action, including a Quake Lord assault on the bridge. I'm trying to track down a full demo: if you have one, give me a shout...

QUAKE LORD RETIREMENTS

Three of the Quake Lords have decided to retire following the UKCL final: Azrael, aka John Burton of the UKCL, Rorshach, the well-known skin designer, and Lord Storm, the co-founder and longtime leader of the Quake Lords. The Quake Lords homepage contains a full statement about these retirements:

"Doubtless this will surprise a lot of people, and while all 3 have personal reasons for leaving, a definite cause, especially is Lord Storm's case, is the amount of flak that the clan and its members take from some people. All of us have seen this, but some, Storm in particular, have been more prone than others, and have felt strongly enough about it to leave the scene. "

Azrael and Lord Storm are to leave immediately, whilst Rorshach will stay to play out Season 1 of the Modem Clan War. All three are to follow in Uther's footsteps, and retire from Clan Quake altogether.

QPD RETIREMENTS

Less dramatically, both Iggy and Zippy have left QPD, Zippy for a fottball scholarship in the US, and Iggy when he found QPD not suited to his needs.

QPD have also, as you may have heard, signed Junglist to the Clan.

UKCL SEASON 1: THE FINAL WORDS

I thought it might be appropriate to print a couple of emails from the UK Clan League mailing list dealing with the end of Season 1:

"Well, we've finally made. Season 1 of the UKCL drew to a close yesterday after the long awaited QL vs QPD match.

Thanks to everyone who helped out in Season 1, especially the server admins. I will be contacting people who've said they wish to be UKCL Admins next week, and hopefully the Divisions for Season 2 will be posted either next weekend or the following week.

We're still in need of servers for season 2 and any custom levels people wish to write for us.

See you all in a few weeks.....I'm off for a rest now!

John Burton

UKCL Chief Administrator"

"Id just like to thank John for all the time / effort / organisation he has put in to make Season 1 a great success. It has been a cool season, and we can't wait for Season 2. The UKCL has really become something since it started with around 9 clans in late 1996. I'm sure if its founder Neil Tamplin was around he would be very pleased with its success.

Also congratulations to the Quake Lords. I didn't realise they had remained unbeaten- that's some record. Maybe they will lose a few next time!

Paul Ryder (Pry, X-Extreme)"

COCKUP DEPT.

I've fixed the cockups in the Clanmeet report: of course Randemar is a BC, not a DC...

Clan Void, who I mentioned yesterday, don't exist. Try Clan Vold.

MUGSHOTS

You hoped that the moment would never come... Well, it has.

The Clanmeet II Portrait Gallery is now up. I warn you, it's large, and you may well have a very silly-looking photo up there...

QL VS QPD- THE NOMAD DROPS THE BALL...

Ok, I screwed up and missed the big match- for some reason I was sure it was at 8:00 pm. Ah, well. The Quake Lords won, as expected, and are thus the winners of the UK Clan League Season 1.

I'll try and write a report from the demo, the stats, and any reports others may write. If I can't, or don't feel it would be worth it, I'll certainly link all the relevant information on Monday.

Sorry for dropping the ball on this one. Next update is on Monday, most likely.

THE NEWS IN BRIEF

As I have to get back to the CMII report...

- Clan Void ask me to give their homepage a mention. Since it doesn't just contain Clan-based things, I'll do so: it looks like quite a useful "kitchen sink" site, particularly if you're relatively new to Quake.

They also need more space. Anyone who can help them on that, email Top Gun.

-The Grail has been given a facelift. As Uther says, this excellent site should kill less browsers now...

- Rorshach is writing a .pak file for the next UKCL. He asks that anyone who could sample some cool sounds for the .pak contact him.

OPERATION MODESTY

Ok, this deserves a full mention. Many of you may know Vanessa Bell, aka Modesty, creator of the FraQuake utility, Quake Art and much more (if you don't, check out her homepage). As you may know, she was recently involved in a serious car accident, and may be hospitalised for some time.

Operation Modesty aims to create a body of art and writing to send to her in her hospital bed, as a "get well soon" from the Quake community. If you could contribute anything to this- art, writing, even just a short "get well" note, please do. Modesty's a unique, talented person, whose vision has enlivened the Quake scene and shown us new possibilities that we hadn't even imagined before. If we can't manage to reciprocate her perrenial friendliness and her ability to make time for people, there really is something wrong with the UK Quake scene.

Get well soon, Modesty. Quake is greyer and less interesting without you in it.

CMII- THE REPORT...

Yes, it has finally happened. The NFTF Clanmeet II report is finally finished, complete with photos, interviews and comment. Go check it out in the NFTF Specials section.

Oh, one more thing. I never, ever want to have to do this much scanning again...

LINKS...

Just so you know: yes, I am going to fix the Links problem. However, I'm something of an HTML ignoramus, so I've got to talk to Boywonder, who did the NFTF design, about it.

TEAM PENDRAGON LIVES!

With Uther gone, many people might have thought that his Capture The Flag and Team Fortress Clan, Team Pendragon, would fade away. But no. TP-Flametop sends me the following email:

"** Team Pendragon is dead, Long live Team Pendragon! **

With the decision of our leader Uther to bow out of the UK Quake scene, Team Pendragon has undergone several changes. We are now a co-operative CTF team run by its members. The new Team Pendragon currently consists of the following players:

Chunky, Dibbler, Dr. Chris, FlameTop, Groffy, Ledge, Ossy, Pundit, Slayed

We will be looking to recruit new players into the team over the next few weeks. If your interested, please contact one of the players named above or email 'TP@flametop.demon.co.uk '.

UKCL SEASON 1: THE END IS NIGH...

Well, some of us may have felt that it would never come, but the end of the UKCL Weekend League Season 1 is indeed nigh. And hwo does it look, as the five-month season begins to fade? Well, let's see, shall we?

At the top of the table, as I'm sure everyone knows by now, are the Quake Lords, unbeaten on 18 wins and 2929 frags, closely followed by the Quake Police Department, who have lost one game ( to Clan Corpus) and are on 2705 frags. Given that QPD would have to beat QL by over 220 frags to win the league, it would seem that the Quake Lords are a safe bet for the UKCL trophy, but stranger things have happened...

There is a fair gap between the top two Clans and the next runners, with CIX having lost 3 games out of their 19 (to QL, QPD and DC, in fact), and the Demonic Core having also lost three, all in the first weeks of the league, and having one more game to play against TFS on Saturday. Given that CIX have 1520 frags to the DC's 2563, CIX must surely be hoping for DC to lose on Saturday, but it seems unlikely, and it's fairly certain that DC will end up occupying the third position: had it not been for some unlucky games earlier on, it could have been higher...

CIX, in fact, are likely to lose another place, with Clan Corpus having again three losses, and 1895 frags so far. CC are due to play The X this weekend: whilst this looks like another sure win, The X have seen a return to form recently, and it's possible that they could upset the balance here. However, given that the current sixth placed Clan, Clan Pendragon, has played all its matches and has lost five times, CC have at least only one place to lose.

TFS, at seventh, will be playing their match against DC purely for fun. As the last Clan with a positive frag count, and with eight losses no hope of catching up a place, they are certain to be seventh in the league no matter what. The Minos Academy, with only nine losses and no more games to play, are in the same position in eighth.

However, the next three places are less certain. Both the Mandalore Warriors and the Weedkillers have played all their matches, ending with ten losses and -1011 and -1072 frags respectively. However, the current next-placed Clan, The Desperados, have lost an equal number, but still have a game to play. With only -8 frags, their position hinges on their performance against Vengeance this weekend: should they win, they will be placed ninth, but if they lose, they will be into double figures on eleventh. Whilst Vengeance are a weaker Clan and should pose little problem for TD, this match will still bear watching.

Below TD, the positions are relatively fixed. Clan Nasty are certainly twelfth, with 11 losses and a score well below the Desperados on -1793 frags. Although Vengeance could concivably end up on the same 13 losses as The X, the 500 frag difference in their scores means that The X will still certainly scoop thirteenth place (a good number, one feels, for a Clan that cultivates its air of mystery), whilst Vengance will end the season on fourteenth, only one position away from the bottom of the league.

The bottom? BOG, of course, who have nonetheless managed to win four matches, all by default.

The last weekend will be an exciting one, with many positions hanging in the balance. After that, we'll have a time to reflect on the season, with RawMeat writing a review of the entire first season for the Grail, and then Season Two will begin, on the 2nd of August.

It has been fun, and the second season should be even more so. The UKCL team deserve our thanks.

ICQ? GO HERE!

FA-Andromeda emails me with a desperate plea. He can't find UK Quakers on ICQ. Now, as you may remember, Cenobite actually runs a page dedicated solely to cataloguing the ICQ IDs of Quakers in the UK, but it's empty. So he can't find you.

Help him out. Email Ceno your ICQ ID number. Go on. It's for the children.

Kinda.

DON'T FEAR TRHE REAPER- WORRY ABOUT HIS PATCH INSTEAD

Those of you (most of you) who were at the Clanmeet might have noticed that some of the machines on which you may have played Quake (yes, it's convoluted sentence day here at NFTF) were giving out rather strange death messages. You might also have noticed that the weapons didn't quite perform as normal: the shotgun was slightly better, the rocket launcher wasn't as devestating. Yes, you've been Reaped.

DEV-Reaper's tweak patch is aimed at balancing out Quake, with tweaked weapons, random respawns and other fun stuff. At the Clanmeet it seemed to work well, and judging from the mailing list something like this is definitely needed, soon. Reaper wants feedback and suggestions, so go get the patch, try it out, and make Quake fairer for humankind.

WHO'S WHO IN IRISH QUAKE?

The first of a couple of snippets from Blue's News that you might have missed: yes, the Irish (southern Irish, anyway) Quake community now have their very own directory. I'd like to think they got the idea from my own Who's Who In Uk Quake, but I doubt it.

FOUR GIBBINGS AND A DEMOCAM

And yes, the Quake Movie craze has finally spread over the water. Following the success of the Die Fette Faust demo, a group of dedicated Uk Quakers have come together to work on their very own immortal creation. With names like Spirit, Shmern, Orlith and Interphaze, this could be a project to watch. Yes, ha, ha.

Just another example of the booming British film industry, really. I wonder if they can get a Government grant?

MEET THAT CLAN- AGAIN

Yes, as expected, the Clanmeet reports are starting to bloom. Currently available are the Official Report, from the Shoot and Surf website, The Reaper Report, from, er, Reaper, and the soon to be written News From The Front report, which is likely to be about two megabytes long...

Oh, whilst we're at it, there's a scurrilous rumour that there might be a picture of me at the Meet floating around. Of course, that's rubbish- as anyone knows, I don't come out on film...

AWARDS LISTING FINALISED

And whilst we're on the subject... The UK Quake Award Winners' list is now up, with full listings for all winners, plus second and third runners up.

Oh, yeah, now's as good a time as any. News From The Front is, of course, a

Hurrah.

QLT WITH FRIES

And another thing I heard about at the Clanmeet. Ever get confused by all the competitions, leagues, cups, tourneys and so on running in the UK? Well, Leann, of Quake Womens' Forum fame, has come up with the page for you.

The UK Quake Leagues 'n Tournaments (mustn't forget the 'n) page is a complete list of- yes- all Quake Leagues, tourneys and other such things currently running in the UK. This is rather more useful than it might appear- even I forgot about one of the leagues listed.

In short, if you can't off the top of your head remember seven leagues currently running in the UK, you need to go to the UKQLT.

QUAD FRAG FEST NEWS

Talking of leagues, the newest addition to the spectrum of UK Leagues, the Quad Frag Fest League, is boldly surging ahead. Its website is now more or less complete, and they're waiting for the league to start. It's looking pretty good, so you might want to take a look and think about joining: mail Renton for more information.

MCW IN A (TEA) CUP

The Modem Clan War's Chief Admin, Spirit, has just announced a startling addition to the MCW schedule:

"You may remember a while ago I mentioned a MCW cup. Well, it is going to happen. I have been sorting the cup out today (at work), and all the information is now available from Spiritualnet.

The schedule, listings and so on are all on the page, so I won't be mailing them, as they are a bit complicated. Hopefully this should be a good laugh, and give the clans in the lower divisions a chance for game with the higher placed clans. Due to the fact that spectators' talk can now be switched off, spectators will also be allowed to watch the games, with a limit of 4 spectators per game. Hopefully this will create a better atmosphere over the weekend.

The Cup will be held over the weekend of the 26/27th July, so it wont clash with any UKCL matches."

Sounds fun. I suspect I might be occupying a specator's slot for a fair bit of that weekend.

DOES YOUR CLAN HAVE A COMPLEX?

Rowell sends word of a new Clan Information page:

"I just thought I'd drop you a note on my new site, The Clan Complex. It's a new branch of Gamer's Alliance Quake, covering clan news, clan services, help topics, and more. I was getting fed up with too many non-official clans out there, so I figured there's a need for more help, many of my users have no idea what a clan is.

Thanks for your time, just sending this to you because you have a site that has to do with clans... "

This looks to be a US-centred page, but it might be fun and useful anyway. Check it out.

YOU TOO CAN BE MERELY MORTAL

MM-The_Borg sends me the following request:

"The Mere Mortals are experiencing some extreme difficulties , as we are short of commited members , I managed to borrow a server tonight,and only two other players turned up. We supposedly have 10 members !!

If you're a committed player who'd like to join our ranks, please contact me. The Mere Mortals have become a part of the UK Quake community, and I really want to be able to continue with them. Join us and help save a Clan!"

The Mere Mortals have been one of the most pleasant things to happen to UK Quake in the recent past, and I too would be sad if they disappeared. If you can help them, or you're shopping for a new Clan, email The Borg.

BIRMINGHAM FRAG FEST NEWS

Preparations for the Birmingham Frag Fest, the two-day LAN party on the 23rd and 24th of August, continue. If you are thinking of coming to this event, it's "make your mind up" time, as cheques must be in by a week on Friday.

Email Aerotus for more information.

TEAM FORTRESS LEAGUE NEEDS SERVERS

Aah, a nice simple item. QUTA:UrbanSciFo, the chief admin of the International Team Fortress League, is short a server for the League's games. If you can help, email him.

HIGH PING BASTARD? APPLY HERE.

Ravage emails me about the soon-to-arrive UK division of the US Clan the High Ping Bastards:

"I've been put in charge of the new UK clan HPB. They are an American clan, but want a UK section, and they have given it to me to set it up! We're looking for any UK players who would be interested in joining. Admittance is by trial- normal clan stuff. We need about four or five players- the US side has about 16. What a Clan..."

TFS-FORD VS CC-RAWMEAT: NO TALK, JUST PLAY.

Yes, it finally happened. The match between the self-proclaimed Joker of Clan TFS and the official Quake Motormouth Of The Year finally happened. And the results? I hand over to the Joker himself...

"Attention all wombles. The results of the CC-RawMeat / TFS-Ford match help last night are as
follows (gulp):

RawMeat's Choice, DM4 (What a Llama!) : Meaty (lots) - Ford (found quivering in a corner, possibly camping hoping his score goes back into positive figures)

Ford's Choice, E2M2 (I think) : Meaty (lots of quad) - Ford (felt like the lamb in Jurassic Park)

Conclusion:

Fast paced on DM4, Ford dying almost instantly... managed to get possibly 1 frag but that is yet to be confirmed. Lots of camping by both players but guts go to Meat for doing it more blatently out in the open by the Quad (good FoV). Second game slower pace, bigger map. Frag count much lower and some great camping by Ford (if only he had had a gun) and some anger-inducing banter by The Kage.

Altogether a great match, Ford will definitely play Meaty again..."

And if that's not enough. He begged, he pleaded, but I'm still going to tell you that the whole sickening saga was recorded. If you want to watch, Rawmeat has the demo...

APROPOS TO NOTHING

And lastly...

Fargo has come out of whichever hole he has been residing in for the last few months to write a blistering essay on Teamplay In Quake. He's a brilliant, insightful writer, the inspiration for NFTF, and frankly the article's worth reading for the "I have no mouth" joke.

Read, learn, and wait for my column in next week's Grail about roughly the same issues.

I'LL BE BACK

Sorry about the last few days' hiatus in news. I've had an unexpected LAN party, which has rather used up my RSI-allowed computing time. Sadly, that includes today (8 levels of Diablo will do that to you), so normal service, and a mammoth update, will be resumed tomorrow.

Thanks for your patience, people.

UURRGGHH...

Well, I'm back from the Clanmeet (got in at 2:00 am, up at 9:45 am for church...).

It was fantastic! A very big round of applause is deserved by Ledge, Uther the incredibly sober, and of course RawMeat, who organised most all of it. Thanks, guys: I had a superb time.

The Quake Awards were handed out at the Clanmeet, of course (you may have noticed the symptom of Swelled Head Disease at the top). Congratulations go out to all the winners of awards, particularly those who weren't there to recieve them: Fragga, who won Casualty of the Year and Best Player (HPB section), The Desperados, who won, um, Most Hated Clan (I saw Lord Storm looking nervous at that one), Worst Clan, and, er, Best Clan Website (at least they like something, eh), Rorshach, who won Skin Designer Of The Year, Arathrarararnar, who won Most Unpronouncable Quake Nick and Best Patch Maker, Iggy, who won Best Newcomer, and BOG, who were unanimously voted Most Sportsmalike Clan Of The Year. There were others, but sadly my frazzled brain can't remember them.

Winning other awards, for which they recieved their certificates, were Sujoy (about half of the total, including Player Of The Year, One On One Player of the Year, LPB of the Year, and, er, Best Skin Of The Year (no, not his Quake skin)), Lord Storm, for the bunch of prizes the Quake Lords recieved, including Clan Of The Year, Motormouth of the Year (no prizes for guessing- Rawmeat), Camper Of The Year (Nightwing, who couldn't make it to recieve his award- he was sitting by the Red Armour in DM3 at the time...), and of course John Burton, the Quake Personality of the year, who must surely have been another unanimous choice. Congratulations to him especially, and congratulations to you all.

The rest of the CM? Well, there were demos of Hexen II, there was beer, there was a 3 vs 3 competition organised by Ledge (no mean feat), there was whisky, there were a lot of very cool people who it was certainly my loss not to have met before, there were rollups of dubious origin and last, but not least, there was a tremenous sense of friendliness and cameraderie. I'm proud to count all of the people who I had a chance to meet and talk to face to face for the first time my friends.

The Clanmeet proved once and for all that ther Quake Community is just what it has always been and what it was always meant to be: a gathering of friends.

UPDATE: the 3 vs 3 competition was won by Angel, Alamo and Zoser, who beat Dibbler, Adze and Reaper in the final. Angel and Zoser won Righteous 3d cards, whilst Alamo took away a Space Orb 360. Congratulations to them.

Ledge apologised for the confusion in the tourney: it was run under very difficult circumstances, and he'd little experience of running a tournament. Given the conditions he was working with, I think an apology's scarely necessary.

BRING 'EM ON

And the next meet is already upcoming. The Birmingham Fragfest's dates have been changed: it will now be happening on the 23rd and 24th of August.

QUIET NIGHT

I'm taking a couple of days off around the Clanmeet, to see friends and generally chill.

Next update might be Sunday, or perhaps Monday.

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