No weddings (and no funerals) How Norrahe and a Beastie were left at the altar by an impoverished Wolf and cowardly Bastard... by Norrahe Rongrode

Once upon a time there were three little bears...Sorry, wrong one! It all happened when a drunken Earl Deadwood, who was warming himself by the campfire, was approached by some gentlemen from the Wolves (well, that's what they liked to call themselves!).

I was quietly minding my own business, cooking some food. After some huddled discussion between the Earl and the wolfmen, he (the Earl ) approached me and tapped me on the shoulder (more like slapped me roughly on the back so I nearly fell into the fire, just like the Earl did later on, but that's another story). The earl then asked me "Are you married Norrahe?", to which I replied, "No" .

"Good, meet your future husband," he said. So I turned round said hello to the fellow who was from the oak something or other and turned back to my cooking. Well, food is that bit more important than marriage, in fact it is second only to drinking.

After several exchanges of words and blessing liquid a dowry of 3 bottles of wine and 7 gold was agreed, one bottle of wine to be delivered that night to confirm payment of dowry, as agreed by our good Captain Kelly. The next day, the dowry WAS delivered, but stolen by the gate guard (someone said it was the Hunters, so Martin Tarragon kindly reimbursed me with a bottle (This man possesses a lovely selection of blessing liquid, pity about the wine though!!), but that's another story.

The next day Captain Kelly and I were informed on visiting the Wolves camp that the marriage would not be going through due to the fact the Wolves were too stingy to cough up the dowry. Hmmm. So the wedding was off and I was utterly devastated - no blessing liquid and no excuse for a party. My mind being on weddings and that, and being the mischievous person that I am, I decided to arrange a marriage for someone, but whom?

Aha, I thought, what about Pelleas!?

He seems in need of a wife. I searched high and low...well, not really, I went to the beast camp where I was informed that one of their women were looking for a mate. I left a message for them to get back to me. When they did, I was informed that one of the beast babes had only been married about 4 times that day and would be available for a 5th if we could fit it in before the 6th marriage later on that evening. Agreed! So off I went back to camp. I wasn't going to tell Pelleas as this was a surprise! We were going to surprise him and kidnap him in order for the marriage to go ahead, hehehe!!!!

Well, Pelleas got wind of this plan and went into hiding and transported himself off to Winchester, whereupon we sent the Friendly Findies to find him, but to no avail, according to several postcards from Winchester. Later on Pelleas reappeared, way too late to get married, having been cut off by some ritual to bring back Princess Ellie, sorry I mean King Elias who can't hold his drink, though someone tells me he can drink now, but we shall see and that's a totally different story, and if I wander any more I'll get completely lost.

Do you know that all the campsites look alike?

"Sorry what campsite did you say I was in again?"

And that is the end of that story.