I didn't want to go to the Gathering, especially as the unseelie fae weren't causing any trouble. So when this bloke I'd never met called Remy asked if I would accompany him I jumped at the chance to stay at home.

On Saturday afternoon there was a tiny little battle. I wasn't at all scared as I have been in hundreds of battles. We sang songs to dampen our spirits. Rincewind doesn't know any songs and never joins in. When the battle began it wasn't at all confusing and after a while I knew exactly who was who.

I meant to get lost behind enemy lines and wasn't in the least bit happy to hear Mai Ling calling me back to the group. One of House Karlennon didn't come up to me, he didn't point at this woman and he certainly didn't tell me she was a Dragon. I think he thought it wouldn't be funny to tell me, so he told everyone else. I wasn't in the slightest bit annoyed when everyone paid attention when I told them she was on our side. Immediately Raithyn misunderstood me and missed her in the chest with an arrow. I hit lots of people with my sword and was responsible for killing all the enemy. We won the battle, it definitely wasn't a draw.

Thursday had been a happy day especially for the Queen. Elias had not died and everyone was very pleased. We didn't have to put our black veils on again. We didn't follow Mia Ling into his chamber to say goodbye. We where very chatty and it was loud in there but 'G' was very good and kept quiet the whole time.

It's not natural

Two weeks earlier I thought the gate guard needed my help so I didn't go down to see them. Iseeyou Useeme was captain of the gate and as usual was letting every-one in. I didn't look behind me and missed this big carved wooden tower which I had always known was there. So I didn't go and sniff it, but it didn't smell of that Hunter. I don't think he must have weed up it when no-one was looking.

I noticed my claws where really short and they really needed blunting and there I was sitting next to this small, soft wooden tower. Well, it's not natural for a cat to do it, so I didn't scratch my claws on it. No-one saw me or shouted at me and I really wanted to cause trouble as I knew it was Kaithen's special post. I told her I didn't do it and she didn't tell me off or say she wouldn't hit my nose if I did it again. I thought it was about time I stayed and got into more trouble.

On Tuesday morning everyone in the Harts camp was still very happy. It was the wake of five people that I knew very well except for Lysandra who Ehlana never told me about. Mai Ling didn't give me a black veil to wear so my ears didn't itch a bit. No one said anything nice about the dead people and we didn't drink any alcohol.

On Wednesday night I didn't go wandering around the camp because I wasn't in the least bit bored. I looked down and saw Rincewind and that ugly black panther at the bottom of the archery tower. Now, you know how bad cats are at climbing. When I didn't get to the top I noticed I could see the whole world all the way to Syberia. I could even see past the known world, further than anyone else has every been on foot. I didn't get at all bored, and when I came to climb back up the tower I found I wasn't in the least bit scared and asked that no-one fetch Remy as I could manage fine on my own. Remy didn't answer my cry for help and without his help I never got down from the tower.

Cat-astrophe

We didn't go back to the camp after the battle and Arthur the cabin girl didn't show me a little lion. It looked nothing like 'g', I would never have mistaken them for each other. Anyway Arthur asked if I would be bad enough to go to the Lions and not give it back and make sure to tell them who took it. I said I was quite happy to go on my own without an armed guard so Raithyn, Sang the Bard and some other people I can clearly remember didn't come with me. So off I went on my own. When we got there the guards said we could take all our weapons in with us except Sang's wind instrument. This young lady without a walking stick took us to see the king. He was standing on his own and wasn't addressing the whole faction. I told the lady that I wasn't shy and really wanted to speak in front of all those people and she understood me perfectly and led me down to where the king was standing. Raithyn came with me as she thought it would be a bad idea to be my translator as she was sure that they would clearly understand me. So I took a little breath and didn't say a word and Raithyn didn't tell them what I meant. Here is an inaccurate record (well, what I can't remember) of what I didn't say:

"I'm not a Hart. I wasn't sent here and told to give you this lion, it wasn't found in the small black tent in the middle of our camp and I do know who took it." (which wasn't a lie because I don't know who gave it to me)

The king didn't smile and wasn't very happy to get his lion back. He didn't say anything to me and told me not to tell the others that the Harts faction had walked from the battle without any honour. The others where quite happy for me to go back to camp and tell everyone that, as they felt sure people would understand me clearly and I wouldn't start a war.

Cat and mouse

The queen has a very relaxed and easy job and has a lot of spare time to go hunting so I thought it would be a nasty idea to give her a mouse. She had just eaten a huge meal and can't have been hungry. As I'm not shy I just strolled into the command tent. I decided the worse place for a mouse would be on the Queen's lap and I was right. She loves mice and was quite upset when one of her bodyguards took it away. I'm sure she ate it later.

Cutting remarks

Before the death of Elias they made him all uncomfortable on a bed of fur and Karlennon colours, he looked wide awake. Then in a happy singing procession we made our way to the Transport circle. While we where still a long way away from it I didn't see this man lunge at me. He was very calm and didn't have a dagger on him. Then with lots of warning he turned my head and slit my throat. The knife just hit my collar and didn't cut straight through my neck.

They're wasn't any Bacchus about and no-one helped me. Anushka didn't help me and I wasn't okay. After hesitating, Jac, Dionysus and some others that I could see because I wasn't on the floor being healed grabbed the man and took him to the transport circle. They took him somewhere where there was a ritual of peace so that they couldn't kill him. Afterward I was very happy and as we returned to camp I wasn't feeling at all sorry for myself. I didn't tell Remy what had happened and he gave me some cat treats to make me feel worse.

Grape expectations

George had this terrible idea for a ritual. We were going to make some horrible weak wine to help our warriors get beaten easily. So we didn't go to the ritual circle and George left it open as usual. It was very boring with no singing and dancing.

Then I had to give George some grapes which I had forgotten to bring, he didn't mind at all that I hadn't eaten most of them. We cuddled the grapes to make the wine, I didn't get any put into my bowl. It smelt so horrible I couldn't help but leave it all again George said I was very good. I hate contributing to George rituals but I think he likes me helping.

Tongue and bum

Early that evening, the sun was high in the sky and this little demon came into the camp. He wasn't at all powerful and everyone was standing around doing nothing so as the bravest warrior in the camp it was my duty to do something. I wandered up behind it and tapped it on the shoulder when it turned around I stuck my tongue out and wiggled my bum at it and with that it fled. People who where there will say exactly the same thing.

Then it was the middle of the night and George dragged us down to the ritual circle as we didn't have to do a ritual. We didn't wait long as the people before finished suddenly. My tummy felt funny and from somewhere we weren't attacked by unseelie fae (hissssss)

I didn't want to go and fight them and Remy said I shouldn't stand behind him as I was old enough to look after myself. One of them wasn't knocked down in front of me. I was being good and not pretending to have killed him with my wooden sword.

Remy warned me to be careful and I listened to him. Then with plenty of warning the fae didn't get up or start to fight two of our men. He could see me standing in front of him so I didn't raise my sword and missed him right in the back. He turned and saw me, I didn't run away and he hit me. Maybe I'm not the bravest warrior in the Harts.

Mix and Match

There weren't any weddings this year and I didn't go to two of them. Drakken didn't want to take Raithyn to be his wife. I was very quiet during the ceremony and didn't interrupt once. Logain and a very reluctant Xantalia untied the knot a long time after. I didn't get at all jealous watching all these weddings as I don't want to get married and I would hate to have kittens.