Affenpincher Notes.

The following notes were kindly sent to me by Nancy and we had a lot of pleasure reading them here. They capture the essence of affenpincher character and give a good picture of why they are so special.
Nancy has agreed that I can display these notes but please do not copy or distribute them in any way as they are her copyright.

Do any of you have things like this happen at your house? My partner Nelson was sitting on the couch with Katy the Affenpinscher next to him. Our Giant Schnauzer, Mr. Tucker, came and laid his head in Nelson's lap. A few pats later Tucker yawned hugely. Katy got up and put her head in Tucker's mouth (practically down to the tonsils) peering to see what was there.

When Tucker closed his mouth and found Katy's head in there he had, according to Nelson, the strangest look on his face. That obviously had never happened to him before! Katy just removed her head and settled back down for more snuggling.

I guess she is trying to decide what she will be when she grows up. I'm not sure if she is planning a career as a lion tamer or a physician in the field of ear, nose and throat. Of course, like most mothers, I'm voting for the medical career!

If nothing else, the Affens always seem to come up with some new amusing behavior no matter how deep the winter doldrums.

A recent conversation reminded me of how fascinating just watching our favorite breed can be. When I planned a litter of puppies I realized the steps from the dog door to the play yard were just too high for babies to use safely, so we installed a ramp and covered it with a carpet scrap for better footing. The ramp was steep, but still better than stairs and the pregnant mama-dog was quite happy to use it as she got rounder.

By the time there was a puppy to use the ramp it had a layer of pine needles over the carpet which precipitated a marvelous game. The Affen pup (it was a one pup litter) would bounce up the stairs I had thought too high and slide down the ramp on his belly. He would do this over and over just like a small child at a playground.

A year passed and we had a new litter of puppies on the ground. Three puppies this time. When their turn in the play yard came, the year old pup joined right in as they slid on the ramp. He was so happy to have more little ones to play with!

I spotted a toddler's slide at a yard sale and soon they all used that to slide on as well as the ramp. As the pups grew the game palled and the slide sat unused except for Affens sunning themselves on the platform at the top. All but one pup went off to new homes and the original sliding pup went off with a perfect family too.

A new year, a new litter, and a new toy came to the play yard. A wooden packing crate with a 'door' cut in each side and the lid forming a ramp to the top made a great addition to the fun and games. We stood and watched while the new pups explored, finally managing to climb the ramp and reach the top of the packing crate.

Out through the dog door rushed last year's pup. She dashed up to the top of the crate where she nudged each puppy until they were all sitting in a row at the top of the ramp, like attentive schoolchildren. One pup tried to wander away and was forced right back into line by her 'auntie' dog. With the attention of all three pups firmly in grip the older one slid down the ramp on her belly. At the bottom she stared up at the three little wide eyed puppies then dashed back up and repeated the slide. She then play bowed and barked. Each pup in turn then slid down the ramp on its belly with only the errant student requiring another demanding bark.

Once all the little ones had proved they could slide down the steep ramp the older pup went about her business, totally ignoring the puppies again. Until those pups were old enough to leap off of the top of the crate they faithfully slid down the ramp to the safety of the play yard.

Needless to say we stood with our jaws agape watching this whole performance. If we had not been watching at just that moment we would never have guessed the sliding was taught behavior rather than each generation's own discovery.

Now those last pups did another new thing with the ramp from the top of the packing crate. Two pups were sitting at the top of the ramp looking down, suddenly, they turned and stared at each other in what I call a telepathic look. When the stare broke they dashed down the ramp together and busily dug up a rock as large as their heads.

Each picked up one side of the rock and carefully they carried it up to the top of the ramp in a perfect concert of effort. Turning at the top took a little figuring then they faced the top of the ramp with the stone in their mouths. A sideways look at each other and they dropped the rock. Looking as wise as owls they sat and watched it roll down the ramp. One more meaningful glance at each other and the pups reverted to being playful dogs again.

I had the spooky feeling that some Newtonian law had been independently rediscovered and dismissed as kid stuff! Why with all the balls and toys in the yard did the pups dig up a big rock? How did they decide to dig it up and move it together? Why did they dig up a rock when there were so many loose ones available? What on earth did they learn form their experiment in rock rolling?

I'm sure I'll never know and no animal behaviorist will ever believe the observations I've made. But then, they seem to study wolves or beagles or something while I am watching Affenpinschers!

Another Affen owner wrote me about her cold weather fun for her dogs. Each outdoor pen gets a pyramid of straw bales which provides extra shelter for her dogs during their yard time. The Affens burrow in and make tunnels between the bales and leap up the stack to claim the best sunning platform.

A favorite game of those Affens that lose out on the sunning platforms is to tunnel up within the stack to spring out on the sleeping ones, often startling them into giving up their preferred position, which the jokester happily claims. Who would think a stack of straw could be so much fun?

I thought of buying a few bales from the feed store, but then I had an awful image of little Affen engineers moving bales over to the fence creating a stairway out. Now I know they can't do that , but just the same...

Simian was a very clever Affen Puppy. Together he and I attended an obedience class where he did very well and I fumbled around on the end of the leash. I just hate it when the dog learns the command from listening to the instructor and executes it correctly on the instructor's signal.

Now I don't mean the instructor used my dog for a demo. I mean the dog learned which exercises to do based in the command given by the instructor to the owners. 'Forward' meant that I should be in motion heeling to him as he circled the room for example. We won't discuss the fact that he even figured out which direction the circle was to move in based on the words 'dogs on the inside' or 'dogs on the outside' ! You get the point that the dog listened to whole sentences and knew phrases and their relation to actions.

One day I was sitting on our couch watching Simian stand on his hind legs and look out our patio door. I idly said to my partner sitting next to me, "Wouldn't it be neat if he walked over here on his hind legs?" Nelson said ,"Why don't you tell him to?" I turned and called, "Simian, walk over here on your hind legs and jump up on the couch between us."

Hugs and hysteria followed as he obediently walked fifteen feet on his hind legs and jumped up between us! Neither my partner nor I believed it. While Simian did like to move around on his hind legs he had never gone more than a few short steps that way before and never again did he walk across the room like that. Of course we never asked him to again either. We were both rather afraid he would if we did!

For those of you with long memories Simian was the dog that appeared at a couple of winter shows wearing a tuxedo. He would dance on his hind legs and spin in a circle making the tails of the tux swing out and around him. He was quite the ham actor and enjoyed the fun of it all. He went off to become the very best friend of a little girl (who certainly deserved one) as she was at the age of seven to become a latchkey kid when her much older sister went off to college. The mother did not believe in letting a dog sleep in a child's bed, but I had to laugh when the parents told me that as a reward for the girl's good behavior she was allowed to sleep in the family room with Simian!

A husband and wife came to look at the Affens as the wife really wanted one. The husband really wanted a Rottweiler! I wasn't quite sure I wanted to sell them a pup, but the wife insisted their small new house had no room for a big dog so out they came. Within fifteen minutes the husband was on his back on the floor covered in Affenpinschers and loving it!

As it turned out the right dog for them was an eighteen month old neutered male who'd had some training and was a bit bigger than my little ones I show. I sent them home dogless to think about it and the next weekend delivered the dog to his new home. Everything went well and I returned home happy with the sale.

Shortly after I left, the people got a call that their daughter was a that hospital as she had been in a car accident. They brought her home with strict instructions to wake her up all night long due to fears of concussion.

When the household settled down for the night the Affen chose to sleep on the couch with the sore headed daughter. Mom dutifully got up and quietly crept into the living room to hopefully wake only the daughter.

The Affen awoke the moment the intruder approached and uproariously attacked! Lights were turned on and Mom had to prove her identity to one tough little dog who was not letting any strangers near his girl! The last of the husbands fears about owning a little dog were laid to rest in that moment. Not only was the Affen fun and cute, but he was also all the guard dog he had wanted in a Rottweiler!

These folks now have four Affens because it turned out they needed one for each lap to keep from fighting over who got to hold the dog in the evenings!

A southwestern Affen owner has an early morning routine due to work schedules for the two adults in the household. The dogs are sent out to take care of business and then head for the best basking spots in the yard for their sun baths. Most times of the year the sun is already up, but the winter months find it dark at the time the Affens are ready to bask. Despite this the Affens line up in position awaiting the sunrise . Invariably, the senior Affen is positioned so that the first rays of the sun hit the portion of the yard where it is sitting.

This kind of story really reinforces my mental image of the Affens as being members of a primitive tribe of minuscule anthropoids with their own culture and rituals! Sun worshippers they certainly seem to be until the weather turns too warm. I can almost see them performing some ritual or another involving say, cat sacrifices, in a setting such as Stonehenge. Perhaps it is some such witchcraft ritual they threaten our big dogs with to keep them in line!

Currently, the adult head count of Affens at my house stands at five (this was true in 1991 anyway). Non-dog people are always rather shocked by numbers like this and when I add in other breeds, puppies or cats they practically go catatonic in shock. But, only when I am asked to do I think about how many fur people live at my house. This is probably because I see them as complete individuals. Its not like having a dozen oranges!

For instance there is my happy Affen, no matter what we want to do or when we want to do it she's happy to participate. When you speak to her she perks up her ears and smiles chortling, wheezing and tap dancing to indicate her response to any inquiries. Her favorite word is 'food' and she knows all the variations. Lately we have been getting rapturous responses to the question 'Want a rice cake?' as she is on a diet. You cannot look at her without responding to her smile with one of your own.

My male is the stud and he takes his work very seriously. Boundaries are marked, girls are checked and intruders repelled all with the attitude of a job well done. When he is let out into the big yard he is so officious you can practically see a briefcase tucked under his arm and hazy outlines of a pinstriped three piece suit hovering around his body.

His big attraction is his huge cat-got-the-cream smile which he exchanges with my partner. Nelson only has to say 'girls' or 'love them bitches' to get a grin out of our stud. They regularly sit and watch the fights together too. I think our stud studies techniques as he frequently has to correct the big dogs for rude behavior such as illegal girl sniffing or toy snatching. These two chores being the province of our stud only!

One of the girls we refer to as The Drip. She languishes around here and there about the house. Looking at her causes her to melt into another room where rude stares don't exist. Occasionally you will find her quietly curled against you when you are not paying attention to her whereabouts.

The only thing that saves her from being a non-entity is that she likes to play jokes! She's the one that will sneak quietly up and tweak a sleeping cat's tail. A fast fade to a quiet spot allows her to observe the consternation she caused while seeming totally innocent. It took quite a bit of observation to determine she was the one responsible for the ruckus!

We are also owned by and extremely officious and rude female who is quite sure nothing works right without her two cents added. As my partner claims the same about me you can see some area for conflict! If a dog is barking it is usually her. She tattles on rule breakers and polices the neighbors activities.

If she was the only Affen we had I'd be sure the breed never shuts up. Fortunately, she lives in terror of a stream of water from a spray bottle and a quick squeak between the teeth to imitate the sound will squelch her for a bit. Her alarm bark has saved the others many times though as she is as quick to warn us about a hazard to another dog or pup as she is to bark at an assumed intruder.

We also have a placid love bug of a pup. She melts when you pick her up. She oozes onto your lap or chest and gazes soulfully into eyes at every opportunity. She clings like Velcro and can drive you crazy if you'd like to move around without a dog glued to your leg by the front toenails.

No amount of discouragement is ever truly believed by this dog. Any correction is immediately forgiven by her generous heart and she happily comes back to cling again as you couldn't possibly have truly meant it! About the time you think she's finally gotten the hint you realize her head is between your eyes and the book you are trying to read again.

She's the best dog to snuggle with though. No matter how rotten the day is she's thrilled to see you. Kisses are a definite specialty. No matter what your position is on the couch she can melt herself to your outline to keep you warm and loved. You'd swear the dog had no bones. Unfortunately, this holds true for when you are trying to set her up on a grooming table for show too. She oozes through your arms like a limp piece of spaghetti. But, she does it with the love light in her eyes and so is always forgiven.

Five Affens and five completely different personalities. How can anyone ask why I have so many dogs? Volume only counts when you have too many to distinguish the individuals in your mind. For now I live with a fur family and if other people don't understand its their loss!

The new litter is coming along and personalities are most definitely set. Little misses you-can't-make-me and pleased-to-meet-ya will be joining our household. The sweetie-pie has gone off to her new home and little miss what's-your-point has her home all picked out for her. When the weather improves she'll fly out.

I keep thinking that one of these days a pup will show up that is just like one we had before, but it hasn't happened yet. Truthfully, I hope it never will!

Back to my Affens.

Back to the Top.