I was asked to give a brief summation of what happened at the moots this year, as I went to both. Everybody probably knows by now that I don't do brief, but here goes. Hang on a sec, before I start I would like to point out that I got blessed every night and therefore this is in no particular order.

Moot 1

Old Hippo, the head of the Lions, had a wrestling match with Mordred. It was a bit boring actually, and I couldn't see much 'coz I was at the back but Hippo won quite easily. However, during the bout a Chaos blokey interfered and while that was going on Mordred did some weird mind-linking shite on Hippo and found out the route to Avalon. Oops!

After this Elias had a bit of a show down with old Brandy Floss, which ended up with Elias trying to hit Flossy with Excalibur and then getting thrown around the Ritual Circle like a rag doll for about half an hour. Not much fun I imagine, and thoroughly humiliating.

A notebook, until recently in the possession of a Drow scribe, fell into the hands of those of Bacchus. In it was recorded the minutes of one of their Matron Mother meetings. I'm not sure who actually came by it so you'll just have to ask the others who were there. The minutes detailed a proposed "removal" of the head of the Weaponsmiths' Guild, by a bloke called Moritz of the Brotherhood of the Star or something like that, without the knowledge of the Stewards' Guild. This information was promptly sold to both the Stewards and the Weaponsmiths, although the Weaponsmiths have yet to cough up for that so, don't trust them. I got called away at that point but George, Pelleas, Venn and Logan went on to make a bit more out of it later on. Sorry guys, I'm a bit rusty on the selling side of things.

Sir Hugh, Steward of the Hunters, was missing presumed dead on the Monday morning. There were rumours of him being taken to Cymria and burnt on a big, big fire and his ashes scattered to the four winds, but then who am I to say what happened in the dark of night?

The followers of Bacchus got together at Lady Kaithin's request to attempt a rather impromptu ritual. No rehearsal was possible, and it ended up getting rather confused, with people attempting to contribute without being capable. Apparently the GODs had told them they could, but it was not to be and the attempt failed. Better luck next time guys. Hopefully without supernatural errors we can pull it off.

Moot 2

Hippo and Mordred squared off again. This time it was a bit more exciting, as Mordred decided to use all his supernatural strength. Unfair! I hear you cry, but apparently it was allowed by the rules, and we know what a stickler for not getting involved in other people's business and playing by the rule old Flossy isÉ Anyway, Mordred kicked Hippo's arse from one end of the Ritual Circle to the other, and it looked at one point like he was going to snuff it. Elias then stepped into the ring and broke up the fight, just as the life was beginning to ebb from Hippo. Flossy got a bit pissed off about this and had a go at Elias for interfering. What was that phrase about pots and kettles? Back at the plot, Flossy started taunting Elias and asking him if he needed another lesson, and saying stuff like "Come on then if you think you're hard enuff! Hit me with your poxy sword ya big Poof!", to which Elias responded by saying, "Right then stitch this!", and promptly twatted him with Excalibur.

Flossy, to everyone's surprise, him being dead hard and all, fell over. At which point all hell broke loose and it got a little confusing for a while.

Lots of weird shit was going on, lots of people had strange nightmares, including me, and ended up with a distinct dislike for a certain group of people. Apparently it varied depending on which dream you had, and I'd prefer not to talk about it too much as I got a bit cross and nearly hurt a friend of mine.

Sir Hugh turned up right as rain on the Saturday morning, for about six hours until someone finished the job. Some nasty dagger whose damage you couldn't heal apparently.

That's about all I can remember from the moots, if I've missed something a Bastard did then they should get off their fat arses and write their own bit for the Grapevine. Don't come crying to me that your voice isn't heard. If I didn't see it or don't remember it, I can't write it. So there!