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by Alyse(alyse@unconsciousmind.co.uk)
and Teri (teri@unconsciousmind.co.uk)

Part 1

~*~

Summary: The Bridge is the first story in the Warchild series, based upon the characters in the TV Show, Space: Above and Beyond. When McQueen and Commodore Ross decide that Cooper Hawkes needs a teacher if he's ever to move through the ranks, they couldn't have anticipated the intrigue into which the young man would be plunged, the strange and often deadly characters he would meet on the way or the fact that he'd fall in love.

Rating: NC17, m/f interaction, Cooper Hawkes/f

Disclaimer

~*~

When reveille sounded at 05:30 hours Cooper Hawkes had already been up and gone for several hours. A search of the Wildcard's wardroom yielded only a handful of bleary-eyed natural borns. At Damphousse's suggestion, McQueen finally found Cooper running laps on the track that encircled the gymnasium of the Saratoga. McQueen wasn't surprised to find him gone. Cooper, like any wild thing, never stayed in one place too long. McQueen knew too, that deep down Hawkes didn't really trust anything, including his quarters, to be there indefinitely, so he refused to get too attached to them.

Like a squirrel, Cooper had made hiding places all over the Saratoga. McQueen had stumbled across a couple of these during his own nocturnal ramblings. In the dark places where bulkheads met to form small, shallow caves the young InVitro had hidden away caches of dried fruits and MRE's - mostly desserts McQueen had noted with a half smile (Cooper had a notorious sweet tooth), packaged water, sleeping bags, pillows and usually a trove of found articles from around the Saratoga. In Cooper's favourite bolthole on the upper deck of the Toga, McQueen found a metal box that held photographs of the Wildcards in various groups, a key card that opened the mess pantry after hours, a half-empty bottle of perfume that McQueen suspected was Vansen's, twenty-five dollars in earth money, and an old photo of himself with the Angry Angels he had never seen before - Cooper Hawkes' earthly treasures.

Ty was glad to know that Cooper had some secret places. They might come in handy for what he had in mind for the young man he had come to think of as a...son. It surprised Ty that he could even think the word; he knew he would never be able to say it out loud. He loved all his kids, each and every one of the 5-8, and they loved him; but none of them needed him the way Cooper did. So McQueen had taken it upon himself to do what any good parent would. He kept his eye on Cooper, made sure he was doing well with the rest of the 5-8, gave him advice on occasion, and threatened to beat some sense into him when that didn't work (McQueen acknowledged to himself that he was no Ward Cleaver).

McQueen's most recent period of parental angst had been over Cooper's education. Like all InVitros Cooper had been programmed through neural networks to speak, walk, read, etc... He was extremely intelligent and nosy as a cat. McQueen knew he was ready for another level of learning. Higher education was slowly becoming available to certain InVitros; the ones who could demonstrate acceptable social skills and a working knowledge of cultural norms. Because of Cooper's history with the Program, McQueen wanted him to gain this knowledge quietly, away from the prying eyes of Aerotech spies. They didn't need to draw any attention their way. It was fine and dandy for an InVitro to fight and die in the war effort, but Aerotech was still wary of Tanks getting educated and above themselves. McQueen was again reminded that slaves in l8th century America had faced many of the same prejudices that InVitros did today and he wondered at a race that never learned from their mistakes.

Commodore Ross had known of the plan from the beginning. Ty respected his friend too much to try a trick like this without his permission. Glen Ross not only supported him, he found the tutor for Lt. Hawkes.

While Cooper had been in detox for his addiction to phylophetamines, the Saratoga had picked up the faint signal from an Earth vessel. An ISSCV sent out to investigate found the ship, a scientific space centre damaged by AI fire, and five survivors. Four were scientists who had been living on the centre for the past five years. The fifth, a daughter of one of the scientists, was visiting her father.

The scientists were kept below to recover from their traumas and to be monitored. Ross discovered to his unease that they were Aerotech scientists, reason enough to distrust the whole lot of them.

The young woman was healthy, enthusiastic, inquisitive, and bored to distraction. She'd nearly driven Ross crazy asking questions and seeking permission to roam the ship. Because he reluctantly found her and her Missouri accent so charming, he finally gave her unlimited access to the ship's library in hopes of keeping her occupied; but he suspected it was a stopgap measure.

Ross marked his desk calendar with a red X each day, counting off the days until a transport arrived on the Saratoga to return the Aerotech geeks Earthside: thirty standard days left to mark. Ty's approaching him about tutoring for one of his people was a prayer answered. When he found out it was Hawkes, he had taken a moment to weigh the consequences and decided to proceed anyway. It was Ty's instant disapproval of the young woman tutoring Hawkes that surprised Ross.

"Commodore Ross, I can't believe that you'd even think of letting her near Hawkes - her father is Aerotech! You know you can't trust those people an inch. Suppose she lets it slip to him that she's working with an InVitro, how do you think her father's going to take that? He'd report the situation so fast Cooper'd be Earthside on the next transport. She doesn't look very tough to me, Hawkes will chew her up and spit her out. I would also have to see her teaching credentials before I let her near Cooper, she may not even be qualified to teach him what he needs to know to pass the socialisation entrance exams."

Ross stood by patiently while McQueen went on for several minutes finding fault with everything from the girl's hair to her accent. He was somewhat bemused. From McQueen, this was a veritable speech. Glen let him run out of steam before answering. He and his wife had sent their children off to kindergarten. He'd been through this innumerable times. Ross could barely contain a smile as he realised he never thought he'd be going through it with Colonel T.C. McQueen, mother hen extraordinaire.

"Ty, I've discussed this with Ms. Gibson, she hates Aerotech, for keeping her away from her father - the five years in space was mandatory not voluntary - and she's an avid supporter of InVitro rights. For Heaven's sake, Ty, back on Earth she'll be teaching in an orphanage filled with the abandoned children of InVitro/natural-born parents. She believes that if the children are educated and taught social and parenting skills, tragedies like their abandonment will be a thing of the past. It's a new idea and has only the grudging approval of Aerotech. They've have given in under increasing political pressure from the world governments. Before that she did behaviour modification work with adult Invitros, trying to help them fit into society. Now do you see why I think she's the perfect choice to help Lt. Hawkes?"

"We'll give her a try, but I'll be watching them." was all McQueen would say. Glen sensed that his old friend was only a little more reassured.

After meeting with the young woman and Commodore Ross to define parameters and goals, McQueen felt the stage was set. He was pleased with the ease in which his plans had fallen into place though he was still uneasy over the tutor.

So here he was in the gym about to set his charge on the road to a future. Cooper would probably be a lifer in the Marines but with a good education, Hawkes would have the chance to advance up the ranks with an ease that he himself had missed. McQueen was feeling almost happy. Calling Cooper over to him from the track, he prepared for the last and hardest part of the battle - telling Cooper Hawkes he was going back to school.

~*~

"Screw that! I ain't goin' back to no school!" Cooper snarled, then at McQueen's incredulous look added a sharp "Sir!".

McQueen hadn't expected this to be easy but he was tired and Cooper's refusal to appreciate the magnitude of his and Ross's efforts suddenly enraged him. He grabbed Cooper by the front of his t-shirt and shoved him roughly up against the bulkhead of the ship. While Cooper was still speechless with shock, McQueen got right in his face and snarled back.

"You listen to me Cooper - Commodore Ross and I have gone out on a limb for your sorry ass! Now, we were doing this as your friends, but I'm telling you as your CO - you will attend tutoring sessions or you won't fly, it's as simple as that."

He gave Cooper one more shake for good measure before backing away a short distance. The red haze McQueen experienced was fading and he slowly gained control of himself again. He saw, too, the mistake of losing his temper. Ty was learning a valuable lesson in parenting; it's almost impossible to make your children realise that you want better things for them than you had. Knowing Cooper, he'd take this to mean that Ty thought he was stupid or backward, but he was too angry to talk it through with him right now. Damn, this parenting stuff was hard and he really didn't know the rules any better than Cooper, who was now furious and hurt in equal measure. And as usual, Ty thought with a touch of pride, that chin was stuck out in defiance, always ready to take on the world. McQueen gave him one last glare of warning and left Cooper to cool down.

Cooper swallowed the hurt; to hurt was to admit that someone or something mattered and he wasn't ready to accept that yet. He focused instead on the rage. McQueen might make him see some tutor but he couldn't make him learn. Sullen and angry, Cooper pushed himself away from the ship's wall and started to the Card's wardroom. A moment later, he turned and headed back to toward the upper decks. He was becoming too dependent on his friends when things upset or confused him. He figured he must be getting weak because lately it was getting harder to keep everyone at a distance. He had to remember that you could only survive by taking care of yourself. As he stomped up the stairs, he wondered why that thought left him feeling so alone.

~*~

Madison Gibson's first look at Cooper Hawkes' surly face told her all she needed to know about Colonel McQueen's success in winning him over to the side of higher education. Standing just inside the 'wardroom was 6-foot-plus of pissed-off InVitro Marine.

Great combination she thought, blowing her bangs out of her eyes and smiling wryly as she shook her head in resignation. Some vacation.

She ran through the mental checklist developed from experience gained in working with InVitros back on Earth. Chip firmly on shoulder...Check. "Fuck 'em all" attitude in place... Check. Aggressive emotions creating a force field of safety... Check. Body tensed and ready to fight... Check. "You can't teach me because everyone's already tried and they've told me I'm lazy, stupid and worthless" look in hopelessly old eyes...Check. Madi was won over instantly. She'd always been a sucker for that Rebel Without a Cause attitude.

"Hi, I'm Madi Gibson." she offered with her best smile.

Cooper's only response was an ice cold glare.

Well, so much for first impressions. Madi was undaunted, however; she'd known what she was getting into when Ross mentioned that Hawkes was an InVitro.

"Nice snarl," she threw over her shoulder before turning back to her work station. Time to let the kitty nose around the room a little before beginning the declawing process.

A little nonplussed at being ignored after working himself into such a fine rage, Cooper stood by the hatch a moment absently noting his surroundings. The room was dull and grey like all the others on the Saratoga, but somebody had placed some colourful things around on tables that looked interesting. Cooper bet she'd be glad if he left - she probably didn't want to do this any more than he did - so perversely he decided to stay a while just to irritate her. Since she wasn't paying him any attention, he decided to look around a little. If she didn't like it wasn't that too bad?

Then the woman was forgotten as he stopped dead in front of a table that held a whole box of antique compact discs. As if unable to believe his eyes, Cooper almost worshipfully picked up a handful to read title after title of old rock and roll songs.

Madi watched with interest as that bad-ass attitude fell away to expose the innocence and open-mouthed wonder of a child. Her interview with his friends about Cooper's interests had paid off big time. With his attention on the compact discs, Cooper didn't see the little triumphant smile playing around her lips as she watched him from the corner of her eyes - Gotcha! she thought with a feeling of hope. Sometimes she could help InVitros, sometimes they could never be reached. She had a good feeling about Cooper Hawkes.

~*~

Meeting with Colonel McQueen three days later to discuss her evaluation of Cooper's needs and his progress thus far, Madi had a different problem. She had fallen victim to the military's famous Need to Know Only creed.

"Lt. Hawkes can decode and encode any word I've thrown at him with amazing skill," she started out only to be stopped by Ty's confused look. "I'm sorry Colonel, read and write everything I've shown him...in several languages I might add. I want to stop right here a moment to point out Colonel that you should have told me Lt. Hawkes was trained as Black Ops in the Program. I have the right to know what I'm dealing with when I work with a student."

McQueen stared at her in angry astonishment. Madi was impressed, she could actually feel the anger radiating off him at the perceived threat to Lt. Hawkes' privacy.

"How the hell did you get access to Cooper's records?" he demanded.

"I don't need access Colonel, you're forgetting that my father is a scientist for Aerotech. I grew up in those labs. I know about the InVitros that were supposedly destroyed but instead were indoctrinated as assassins and black operatives. I also know that these were the only InVitros who were programmed to speak a language not that of their own country. Cooper Hawkes can speak no less than eight languages and I suspect he knows several regional dialects of those eight. So again Colonel McQueen, my question is why wasn't I informed that I was working with a potentially dangerous individual?"

McQueen stared at her hard for what seemed like hours before he finally answered. He wanted to assure her that Cooper wouldn't hurt a fly but he knew better. The rest of the Wildcards tended to treat him like a pesky little brother but the fact remained that Cooper Hawkes was a trained killer and he was potentially dangerous. No one really knew what might set him off. McQueen probably knew more about Hawkes from reading his confidential records than anyone on the ship. His file contained enough information to send chills down the spine and McQueen suspected it didn't even begin to cover what Cooper could actually do. When McQueen needed something to be thankful for he was grateful that Cooper hadn't killed his bunkmates over simple pranks they'd played on him. InVitros weren't born with a sense of humour. He decided to tell Madi part of the truth and employ a few diversionary tactics to get her off the subject.

"It's simple really, I was afraid if you knew you wouldn't teach him. Hell, I'm surprised you agreed to anyway knowing he was an InVitro. Does teaching InVitros fall into your good deeds of the day file or are you attempting to atone for the sins of your father who works for a conglomerate that feeds off the misery of a race?"

Now it was Madi's turn to be astonished. She drew in a deep breath, ready to jump back at him, when suddenly she burst out laughing. At McQueen's wary look, Madi laughed even harder.

"It has just occurred to me Colonel, that you don't trust me a bit more than that surly Marine you sent me to work with. I swear, that Cooper's a sight. Did I mention the fact that he's not spoken to me since he's been there? He'll only answer questions that I address directly to him, but he's coming around; why just this morning he started speaking in English. It's that box of CDs that's driving him nuts. He's eaten up with curiosity about them and I know he he's dying to ask to play them, but I can see a lot of you in him Colonel. That boy's as tough as a pine knot. I so hope he breaks before he just keels over and dies of pure stubborn."

McQueen had the grace to look somewhat abashed. She'd hit the nail on the head with her observations. He didn't trust her but he did need her; and while he couldn't take credit for Cooper's personality he had noticed some emulation on Cooper's part. He'd put it down to a mild case of hero worship and was mildly flattered. Of course when Madi mentioned it in that sardonic tone of voice it didn't seem quite as flattering as it once had. Right now he had to think of something to say to appease her with one half of his mind and with another part he made a mental note to kick Cooper's ass for showing off with the languages. So much for keeping a low profile...next he'd probably be babbling about the Monitor.

"I didn't mean that as ..... I only meant... It is hard for me to trust. Old habits are hard to break. Cooper's damn lucky to have what he has with the 5-8, but that's an aberration. Most InVitros aren't accepted, they're feared and kept on the outside, away from the everyday lives of natural-born humans. I guess I just find it hard to understand why you're willing to help him... to want to help him and other InVitros," McQueen finished quietly.

"Colonel, to me, teaching is like building a bridge between the vast world of knowledge that exists and an individual. I can't always make a person learn but I can show him how to become a learner on his or her own and that makes it worthwhile. With InVitros who truly want a better life, it's especially exciting to watch them learn and grow."

"And," Madi drawled, "while Lt. Hawkes would like us to believe that he's not interested in the world around him, I can assure you Colonel he is starving for knowledge. I can see it in his eyes. Right now he's afraid to reach out for it but after a while, I'll be hard pressed to keep up with him. Cooper's spent his sentient years in emotional and physical poverty, but he's very well adjusted for a street rat. I think it's probably due somewhat to the strict regime of the military with the rules and team interaction. However, the greatest influence on his life has been his friends and you Colonel." At McQueen's surprised look, Madi explained further.

"Surely you realise Colonel how few InVitros ever have the benefit of parental figures. Many of the children in our orphanages have been abandoned not only by their InVitro parents, but by their natural-born parents as well. They're unable to stand the peer pressure associated with having a half-breed child. I can almost understand the InVitro desertions, they have no idea how to be parents; but I'm infuriated by the natural borns who wilfully choose to subject their children to the horrors of those orphanages. I admire you Colonel for trying to help Lt. Hawkes. I hope he knows how fortunate he is."

Madi felt better after telling him how she felt, but she thought humorously that Colonel McQueen might die of embarrassment on the spot. She suspected that under all that intensity there was really a shy and lonely man who didn't feel too little, but rather felt too much. She changed the subject to avoid embarrassing him further.

"Now, Colonel, I hope we're clear on communications. In the future I need to know anything that might help me help Cooper, or keep Cooper from killing me with one finger if I push the wrong buttons. Comprende?" Madi asked, holding out her hand for a handshake of agreement.

McQueen hesitated; so much for diversionary tactics, but finally shook her hand. As he did so, Ty realised he would have to requalify his initial assessment of Madi Gibson. She was tougher than she looked.

"Okay, back to Lt. Cooper Hawkes."

~*~

Since Madi only had a few weeks left she decided to concentrate solely on teaching Cooper popular culture. The topic was so broad that it took her several hours to narrow the focus down to things she thought Cooper would respond to well. The list consisted of music, literature, and above all she planned to teach him some manners.

She'd been trying to make progress for about a week now. Cooper got meaner every day and Madi got more determined. They had watched what seemed like every laser disc the library that pertained to American society. He had learned of course, soaked each fact up like a sponge, but Madi knew it would take more than videos to teach him what he really needed to know about socialisation.

She attempted to work on his manners and in typical Cooper Hawkes style he did everything he could to irritate her. She had to admit that he had a real talent for it. She tried making small talk with him but he just walked around and poked at whatever caught his eye. When he realised she wasn't going to leave him alone until he responded, he answered every query with a monosyllable. How was your morning, Cooper? Sucked. Oh? Did you fly? No. What did you do? Stuff. How are Shane and Vanessa? Fine. Stubborn Tank. Bitch.

The really odd thing was that Madi loved it. She feared she was developing a terrible crush. Why couldn't she fall for sensitive men like that nice Lt. West? But she knew why. Madi hated being bored and while Cooper Hawkes might be many things, he was never boring. She also possessed a very forceful personality and she admired the fact that Cooper never backed down from her. Nathan really was a sweetheart, but she knew she'd wear him down in no time. With Cooper, the more they butted heads the more sparks they created.

So at 14:00 hours, Madi sat in her chair reading a book and anticipating the start of the fireworks once more. She didn't have to wait long.

Cooper stomped to the hatch of Madi's wardroom and beat on the door hard enough to cave it in. It really hurt his hand, but the pain felt good; it fed the rage. The trouble was, each day he came here he was losing a little of the rage. Now it was mere annoyance. Wild Chigs couldn't force him to admit that he was beginning to enjoy it. And her.

"Who's there?" Madi asked sweetly. She knew cheer and enthusiasm were two of the things sure to piss him off almost instantaneously. If she'd taken the time to think about it, Madi would have been more surprised than anyone to realise she had no fear of Cooper Hawkes. For someone who knew what these beings were capable of that was almost a miracle.

"Hello, kitty" Cooper growled.

Madi had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud. She couldn't understand why they said InVitros had no sense of humour. Cooper Hawkes was hilarious although he didn't intend to be.

"Come on in Lt. Hawkes."

As usual, the first thing Cooper noticed about Madi was her hair. It was short and messy and the prettiest colour he' d ever seen in his life, kind of like gold and red mixed together. Also, as usual, whatever was on his mind popped out of his mouth.

"What the hell kinda colour is your hair anyway?" he groused.

"It's strawberry blonde." Madi said shortly, thinking that Cooper looked more tired than usual after flying today.

"Whoever heard of a blonde strawberry?" Cooper asked with a sneer. He wondered if she'd punch him if he touched a curl, it looked so soft.

He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he kept losing sleep thinking about Madi and her soft hair. Madi ignored his odd comments and his bad manners out of long habit.

"Take a seat Cooper. We need to get started. Your test results indicate that you're an audio learner. Makes sense. You love music, you can memorise something after you hear it one time, you learn better with aural stimulation. We're going to start on the literature phase today and I'll be reading to you instead of asking you to read. You'll benefit from the intonation I put into the words and phrases."

Cooper, slouched down in the seat across from her, was letting the honeyed sound of her voice wash over him. He never paid any attention to her, he just liked the way she said her words all syrupy and slow like "somethin"'. It sort of reminded him of the way Commodore Ross spoke, only softer and prettier. Then he suddenly tuned in as what she was saying caught his attention. He sat up so fast that Madi jumped back in her seat before she could help herself.

"Can you fix that? This aural learning... thing... can you make me learn like...like other people?" Cooper asked. He was thinking of the note that had saved his life in the InVitro facility. Defective. He'd never forgotten that description and he still believed it. If the Monitors said it, it had to be true.

It was the first spark of interest she'd got out of him since he'd seen the compact discs and Madi saw from the intensity of that electric blue gaze that he was very upset. Why had it never occurred to her before that Cooper might not realise how gifted he was? Did he think they'd waste this time and take this risk for someone who had no talent? Madi wished she could get into that thick skull of his to see what this man was thinking.

"If I could fix it, I wouldn't. Don't underestimate your talent, Lieutenant. I have to read everything to understand it. I have no ear for music. You can hear a concerto and hum it to yourself or play it in your mind anytime you want. You hear orders and instructions one time and they're in your memory forever. I have to take all kinds of notes and refer back to them repeatedly. Cooper, you obviously have no idea how lucky you are."

He looked totally unconvinced.

"If I'm so damned lucky then why am I here alone? None of the other 'Cards need a tutor. 'Course none of them are stupid tanks either."

"Cooper Hawkes, you listen to me. Look at me!" Madi was furious. She had to put a stop to this if they were ever going to make progress. As Cooper raised resentful blue eyes to hers, she ended his pity party once and for all.

"Cooper, you are here because Colonel McQueen and Commodore Ross care about you. They want you to have every opportunity available to an InVitro. Do you think you'd get this chance on earth? Hmm? You'd be back on the streets trying to survive just like before, no friends, no family, no one to care. You are not only the luckiest damn Tank I know, but if your test scores are to be believed, one of the most intelligent people I have ever had the opportunity to teach. Most Invitros don't make it on the streets Cooper. Half of the ones that do are mentally ill or stoned beyond help.

"You were smart enough to learn to survive. The things you don't know...things you say that you can't understand? Those are learned behaviours, Cooper. Your friends have had twenty or more years to learn, you've only had six, and five of those were consumed with living day to day. You have to give yourself some credit. You could teach them a thing or two about the streets."

"You could also give stubborn lessons to a mule! Now you need to decide right now if you want this to work or go back to sleeping in a cardboard box when this war's over. This is your choice Cooper, no one else's, just yours."

Cooper stared at her so hard she felt like he was trying to bore a hole through her head. She stared right back, with a tough nut like Hawkes you couldn't show any weakness.

Holding his gaze she couldn't help but be awed by his physical beauty; so handsome, talented, and capable, yet so guarded. McQueen had suggested she interview the two women in the unit to get some information about Cooper's personal interests. The Colonel had let them in on the secret tutoring, but not West or Wang. He told Madi the guys would tease Cooper and then he'd beat the hell out of both of them. McQueen needed Cooper to fight Chigs, not to warm the bench in the brig. Looking at him now, Madi couldn't imagine anyone having the nerve to tease him.

Most of the time Cooper kept a wary eye on her from under those heavy brows or skidding glances out of the corner of his eyes. Now with the full force of his ice blue stare pinning her to her chair she was again reminded that he could kill her twelve ways to Sunday. Tease him?? Was McQueen serious?! It'd be like teasing a wolf in a flimsy cage. Maybe this was why people said they had no sense of humour.

Looking into those piercing eyes, she recalled her conversation with Shane Vansen and Vanessa Damphousse. Both women had been reticent at first until she explained that it would benefit Cooper if she knew a little about him. So they told her about his love of music, his attachment to the Wildcards and his devotion to McQueen. Vanessa told her about his terrible poker face, how he never got the punch line of a joke, and that when speaking to any female but them, Cooper could barely form a coherent sentence.

As they warmed to their topic, Madi felt much like she had on the first day of school when she had taught the privileged natural borns. Anxious mothers would tell her of their child's preference for this toy or that laser disc. Shane told her to be patient with his attitude. She promised Madi that when he trusted her enough she would see why he needed it so badly; without his reserves, his shield, Cooper Hawkes was as defenceless as a child and every bit as vulnerable. Shane and Vanessa had taken one look at the person revealed to them and both women's maternal instincts had gone into overdrive.

Cooper really didn't know how lucky he was to have people who treated him like family. Madi was impressed by their devotion, but she wasn't fooled for a moment about Cooper. She knew InVitros like few people did. She was enjoying every minute of her time with this one and she'd lost her fear of Cooper, but InVitros weren't children. Cooper was an adult whose mind was catching up with his body, true; but what InVitros had to do to survive the programming killed any childlike tendencies.

"Okay. I'll make like an A.I. and take a chance." he suddenly said, jerking Madi out of her thoughts. "What do I have to do?"

Madi smiled at him with her warmest smile yet. "Well, Hon, you just listen and learn."

From that afternoon on, while Cooper Hawkes wasn't exactly a model student, he did open himself up to what Madi wanted to teach him. Madi's prediction to McQueen proved true. She scrambled every night through the ship's library resources to be sure to have enough material for Cooper the next day. He could learn at astonishing rates when he focused himself.

His progress was the most astounding she had ever seen in an InVitro and they all had great ability. The results of their work were so incredible that she found herself making notes for a paper she decided to write when she got back to Earth. Every bit of proof that she needed to convince politicians about the worth of teaching Invitros was right here in front of her.

Madi read everything she could to Cooper that would help him understand the concepts of a world he'd missed. He knew the definition of almost any word but had no concrete knowledge of what it actually was.
He told her what a farm was but had never even seen a live cow or held an egg in his hand. She wished more than once they were back on Earth so she could take him exploring. She smiled just thinking about having Cooper all to herself without being watched over by the all-seeing eyes of Aerotech. Madi never lied to her father and she'd told him from day one what she was doing with Cooper. He gave her an kiss on the forehead and told her to be careful, especially of Jenkins. Bernard Gibson was a dedicated scientist and humanitarian who had total faith in his daughter. He had reason to trust her judgement.

Years ago, tugging his small daughter along with him to the labs, he began work with Aerotech in hopes of helping people, human and InVitro alike. Unlike many, he held no malice towards the InVitros because some chose not to fight the Artificial Intelligences. He saw them instead as the victims of genetic tampering gone mad and Aerotech simply as a company that became too competitive. What he actually learned about Aerotech and their IVA subsidiaries was so disturbing he aged almost overnight, his black hair turning to grey within five months. He stayed because they recognised his genius and offered to let him have free rein with any project he saw fit. Then of course there were the threats of physical violence that Aerotech used to keep their employees in line with too.

With his usual forthrightness, he told the advantages and disadvantages of the position to Madi who took the news without blinking an eye. She had been making decisions since her mother's death two years before. As young as she was she still recognised that her father, though a genius, had no common sense. She wanted him to help the InVitros she saw being born every day and decided it best for her father to take advantage of what opportunities presented themselves. Their plan had served them both well. Bernard Gibson had accomplished more to secretly help the InVitros from inside Aerotech than he ever dreamed. Madi, by association, was allowed to do her social work; another front Aerotech hid behind. Neither had any illusions about just walking away from the company. At Aerotech, you either left by the underground networks or you left in a box.

Jenkins had come to her room the previous night to wheedle information out of her. He was suspicious about her freedom to roam the ship when they were closely watched. Madi hated having to even breathe the same air as Jenkins, but she was hid her feelings for her father's sake and for Cooper's. Jenkins was a weasel. The fact that he'd found her wardroom gave her the creeps. If he found out about the tutoring sessions and told Aerotech, they'd all be in deep serious.

He also had a thing for Madi which was quite unrequited. During her time on the space station she'd bloodied his nose and taken to carrying pepper spray. Just the thought of his slimy, damp hands touching her was enough to make Madi want to shower. The thought of him finding out about Cooper had her looking for some privacy.

McQueen had her told about the hiding places. She told Cooper they needed to start meeting there and warned him about Jenkins. Instinct had her keeping his attraction to her a secret. The look in Cooper's eyes when she told him about the Aerotech squealer had Madi easing away from him and she began to suspect then that Cooper had his own nightmares about the esteemed corporate giant.

Cooper took her to his favourite spot high in the ship. Madi felt safer than she had since they'd started the tutoring. Just being with Cooper was so wonderful it made her forget about monitors and spies. Madi giggled as she fell back on a pile of soft sleeping bags that Cooper used to line his nest.

"Oh, Cooper, it's perfect! Light! I need light!" she demanded in her best queen's voice and he'd handed her his field light with a shy smile of pleasure that complemented his red cheeks. Madi thought he was adorable. She stuck a pair of antique eyeglasses on her nose and began to read aloud. Cooper loved to hear Madi read. Listening to her made him realise why he hated reading before, he simply hadn't known how to add all the sizzle into the words that Madi did. When she read to him the lyrical ups and downs of her voice sounded almost like music. She always picked the greatest stories.

She started with fairy tales and worked up to randomly celebrated classics of the past two hundred years. Cooper absorbed every word and asked a million questions. Madi kept lists of the questions and helped him find the answers in the library.

As Madi read today, Cooper watched from hooded eyes, half his mind on the story line while another part was thinking of Madi with her messy strawberry-coloured hair spread out over the pillow of his sleeping bag wearing nothing but those odd glasses. Her great grandmother, she said, had owned all sorts of wonderful spectacles. Madi had her lenses fitted for these. When Cooper asked why she just hadn't had her eyes fixed by lasers, she told him she was a traditionalist, whatever that meant. Now he thought they were cool in a retro sort of way; maybe he was a traditionalist too.

Madi, usually totally engrossed when reading a story, kept losing her place thinking how good Cooper smelled and how nice it felt to be so close to him. As they lay in their snug little indentation, she read Cooper an old children's book called The Bridge to Terebithia. He thought it was kind of silly to read a child's book, but liked it almost all the way through. He even mentally compared Jess and Leslie to himself and Madi. They had become friends after initial dislike and adversity, Madi knew lots of great stories, and they had their own secret places all over the ship.

Then Madi's voice got thick and she began to read about Leslie's death and how Jess had to go on without her. By the time Madi was through with the story she was bawling and Cooper was so upset he could barely talk.

"What the hell kind of story was that?" he asked angrily. "Look at you, you're crying like a baby. Stop it!" Madi started smiling at him through her tears and Cooper thought she must really be crazy. First she took him on and now she was laughing and crying at the same time. He hunched his back to her and stared hard at the opening a few feet away. Damn place was starting to get a little tight and he blinked his eyes rapidly, he must have got some dust in them.

"Cooper, please look at me," Madi said from behind him, but Cooper wasn't about to turn around right now. Madi shouldn't have read something so... wrenching, yeah that was one of her big words that pretty much covered the situation.

"Cooper, I'm sorry the book upset you."

"The stupid book didn't upset me," he growled, "I just don't like seeing you cry. That upsets me."

Madi just laughed, "But Cooper, I love this book because it is one of the few things in this world that can still make me cry."

Though he still wouldn't look at her, Madi sensed she had his attention.

"Do you remember how you told me you were numb to all the people dying around you, that you couldn't feel sad when they died?"

Cooper shrugged so Madi continued.

"Well, I'm like that too Cooper. My mother was killed in the A.I. wars, and so many people I know have died in this war. I look at dead bodies all the time and I feel nothing but pity. I need to read this book once in a while to remember that I can still cry. That's how I know I'm not dead inside Cooper. That's why you're so upset. You're disconnected from the horror you face each day, you have to be as a soldier; but this author made you want to cry because you're alive inside too, Cooper. Understand?"

She felt his shoulder relax a little under her hand and she waited silently. Another minute went by before his head turned slowly toward her but he still kept his gaze down. Madi started to back away when she saw something that stopped her dead in her tracks....a tear. One small tear running down the side of Cooper's face. He didn't even realise it. Madi was stunned. She worked with Invitros almost every day on Earth yet she had never seen one cry. Most professional counsellors thought they couldn't, that they were incapable of developing the empathy needed to feel another's pain.

Madi was again struck by how different Cooper seemed when compared to other Invitros. What kind of genetic material had they used that made him so original? She decided then and there to investigate this further when she got home. She'd hound her father into helping her. Though she couldn't put her finger on it, there was something mysterious about Cooper Hawkes and she intended to find out what it was.

That she would do later. This, Madi thought as she gave in to an overwhelming urge, she would do now. Lowering her head to Cooper's, Madi lightly traced the tear's trail then caught it with the pink tip of her tongue.

Cooper sat motionless, afraid the simple act of breathing might scare her away, overwhelmed by the sensations Madi was producing in him. As she began brushing soft kisses over his face, his eyelids became heavy and dropped to halfmast. As that soft mouth worked its way closer to his, his own lips parted unconsciously. Cooper wondered hazily if holding his breath had made him so dizzy or the feel of Madi's teeth nipping sharply at his bottom lip and her tongue soothing the wound. Then he stopped wondering about anything as he turned to meet her softness with the powerful force of his own desire.

What Madi had instigated, Cooper quickly took control of and Madi hazily thought that while Cooper might lack expertise he more than made up for it in enthusiasm. Before she could even take her glasses off Madi was on her back pressed into the sleeping bags by one thoroughly aroused Marine who was pressing the most delicious kisses under her chin on his way up to her ear. Madi was in the middle of a half-hearted attempt to stop Cooper when he sucked her earlobe into his mouth and pressed his erection between her thighs. The hand she placed on his shoulder to push him away changed its mind and wrapped itself around his neck to pull him closer and she surged up against him.

She ran her hand up and down his neck into his short auburn hair and brushing lightly over the navel there. Cooper responded by pressing his face against her breast and suckling her hardened nipple through her thin T-shirt. Madi almost climaxed on the spot. She was gasping for air and trying to get Cooper's belt unfastened when she realised he had stopped with his head up, listening.

"McQueen," he groaned, pressing hard against her one more time before sitting back on his haunches.

He pulled her up by her hand and arranged her in a sitting position with the book back on her lap. Madi was still in a daze. Cooper smiled as he took in her flushed face and reached up to straighten her glasses, fluff her hair and press a short hard kiss on her swollen red lips. She looked so sexy. If McQueen hadn't interrupted them his fantasy about those old glasses would have been reality.

Poor Madi, he thought, one of these days she was going to realise that he might be young in experience but he was no little boy; and he decided to prove that to her before she left this ship.

Though Madi never heard a sound, McQueen did indeed materialise in front of them. Cooper rose and pulled Madi to her feet. They'd both forgotten about the wet spot on her T-shirt but McQueen saw it right away. Though his face remained passive he went cold inside. Damn. Cooper Hawkes screwing the daughter of an Aerotech scientist. Why didn't he just tattoo a sign on his forehead that said Rogue Tank, Please Shoot Me!

"Got another mission today, Hawkes. Get geared up and meet the others for a mission brief in 15 mikes." McQueen ground out.

Cooper gave Madi a last hot look before hurrying off to his wardroom. As interesting as Madi was, and she was damn interesting, nothing in his life thrilled him more than flying Hammerheads unless it was flying Hammerheads and killing Chigs.

Ty watched until Hawkes was out of sight before turning a cold glance back to Madi. She looked right back and McQueen noticed her chin going up too. Well hell. He knew a lost cause when he saw one but he wasn't going to let her off without at least trying to scare her away from Hawkes. McQueen moved in closer until his nose was barely and inch from Madi's. Any of the 5-8 would have got chills from the look he was giving her.

"You hear me CFB Gibson. You are here to teach, not fuck my pilots. If you mess Cooper's head up and he gets blown to space dust out there, I will hold you personally responsible. By the time I'm through with you, you won't be able to get a job waiting tables back on Earth." The very softness of his voice carried the threat better than any yelling would have, but McQueen wasn't dealing with some piece of fluff and Madi didn't scare easily.

"If that's supposed to have me running to my quarters screaming and crying Colonel, you don't know me at all." Madi told him haughtily. "I know from talking to his friends that Cooper is an excellent pilot and I resent you implying that he is so weak that he would let something like this interfere with his work. He's the most focused man I have ever worked with when he's on a task. I refuse to let you put the responsibility of his possible death on my shoulders. If Cooper doesn't come back it will be because the odds against him were phenomenal." Madi felt her self-righteous anger deflating at the thought of never seeing Cooper again and her voice softened considerably. "I know you think this is just some game to me; but to be honest the attraction is real... and no one's more surprised than me. I've never got involved with an InVitro before. Cooper is not some pet Tank I've decided to play with or use to make a statement about how liberal I am. Let's not fight each other Colonel McQueen. We both have the same interest at heart and I would never do anything to hurt him."

McQueen gave her one more hard stare before backing away from her. He hadn't scared her but he had misjudged her... again. If Cooper had to fall, at least he'd chosen a woman with some backbone to her. She reminded him of Vansen when Shane went on defence of her favourite chick. He decided to back down on this one, he'd just consider it part of Cooper's education and hope for the best. If Hawkes fell apart after she left, the Wildcards would always be there to pick up the pieces.

Madi couldn't tell whether or not she'd reached him. He was an impossible man for her to understand, but she knew Cooper adored him and he was concerned about the men and women who served under him; in her opinion that excused him from any bad behaviour toward her. She just hoped she'd have the guts to do the same for her charges waiting back on Earth.

~*~

The 5-8's second mission of the day was on the ground. During the trip out in the ISSTV, Nathan speculated that since they were back to two missions per day maybe the lull of the past few weeks was over. That news wasn't met with particular enthusiasm by anyone. Vanessa and Paul had been sneaking some personal time together, Shane was finally sleeping well without those horrible AI dreams, and Nathan was using the quiet to work out his grief for Neil.

Cooper was especially underwhelmed. With the level of Chig activity back up his time with Madi would be shortened. Their only opportunity might be to work while the rest of the crew slept. He tried not to think about the time frame but it was useless. Madi's transport would reach the Saratoga in two weeks and then she'd be gone. She probably wouldn't even remember his name when she got back to Earth. Cooper rolled his head back against the metal wall and wondered about the ache that had formed in his chest when he thought of never seeing her again.

He wished for the thousandth time that week that he knew what to call these feelings he kept having where Madi was concerned. He'd felt something like this for Shane at one time. Now he figured he what he felt for Vansen and all the Cards was really what you felt for brothers and sisters. Cooper could never say the word love out loud but he sometimes thought about it and he wondered if the others returned those emotions. For an InVitro however, those were scary thoughts, paralysing even.

When he felt the need for attention around his friends it was much easier to pick a fight than to actually risk the rejection he secretly feared. He and Shane certainly fought like siblings. He had taken it upon himself personally to keep her from getting too big for her britches now that she was a Captain by doing anything he could to aggravate her. Shane recognised his tactics for what it truly was...Cooper was just pushing his boundaries to see if they would really be there for him in much the way she had pushed her family. It all just came down to the question of how much do you really love me? One day she hoped he realised that she loved him to distraction. These people were her family now. Cooper might bitch at her every inch of the way but he would die for her, or any of the Wildcards, and she for them.

Now she was crouched beside him in a foxhole trying to hold him down while Chigs bombed the area above them. Cooper never dealt well with this aspect of the battlefield and if she hadn't been on the radio with McQueen she'd have disappeared as quickly as the other rats when they heard "Incoming!" When she was free it was no accident that the only hole with any space in it was occupied by a claustrophobic Hawkes. Since there wasn't time to dig herself in, Shane took a second to reflect that war was hell and jumped in with Cooper. A second later she was flat on her back with his Kabar a quarter inch from her jugular.

When he recognised her, he shoved her back against the dirt wall with a look of disbelief. "Damn it to hell, Shane! Don't you know better than to come up on me like that without callin' in first?"

His camo-painted face was covered in sweat and blood from a shrapnel wound to his scalp, which wasn't really surprising since he refused to wear his flak helmet, and Shane privately thought he looked spookier than any Chig. He sheathed his knife and resumed loading clips as fast as his hands would work and started making that weird humming noise as he rocked maniacally back and forth. Shane realised then that he had only stopped in here to reload and was about to jump back out. He never managed to stay in a foxhole more than five minutes. After a bombing they would always find him tucked into some rocks or other improbable place shielded from flying debris. McQueen never called him on it, he knew he'd rather die above ground than risk being buried alive in the holes.

"Cooper, you might as well settle down. There's no way we can get to the communications centre til this bombing wave is over. Now sit still...that's an order." As Cooper jumped up and sent a smart grenade in the direction of the Chig's bunkers, Shane rolled her eyes and wondered if Cooper would ever learn to say "chain of command". A second later he collapsed back down in the hole cursing Chigs as only Cooper could. Shane had never even heard some of the words and creative phrases that he let fly when his adrenaline was up. She gave up on rank and went after his soft spots.

"Cooper, you're not going to be much help to the Cards if your head is lying three feet from your body. Now stay down until McQueen radios us that it's safe to move, OK?"

He suddenly looked over at her as if surprised to see her there. "Yeah... yeah...okay." He was still wired and rocking but at least he stopped making that damned noise. Shane racked her brain for some foxhole chatter, anything to get their minds off being blown into Chig fodder.

"So how's tutoring going with Madi?" she asked as she pulled an antiseptic pad out of her own medkit and tried to pat it on Cooper's dodging head. Actually, this was a subject of much speculation among the Cards. She and Phousse had let Nathan and Wang in on the secret after they swore not to let McQueen know they told. Everyone tried to pump Hawkes, but when Cooper didn't want to talk you couldn't drag anything out of him, and he'd been totally mute on the subject around the squad.

"Fine." he mumbled. He looked thoughtfully at Shane a minute and then blurted "Were you having a nice day before we got here?" Shane was staring suspiciously at him. She probably thought he was about to go McKendrick on her. "Work with me here Shane, Madi and I do this everyday for practice. It's called small talk. Now you're supposed to say something meaningless back to me and it'll go back and forth sort of like that ping-pong game Nathan and Wang are teaching me to play." Shane laughed despite herself. Cooper had such unique view of the world.

"Well, you could tell me what she gave you when we left the Saratoga. Um...besides that peck on the cheek." Shane ventured. Cooper's face turned red under the blood and grime, but he unzipped a pocket over his chest and took out a CD case that looked really old and handed it to Shane.

"Wow," she breathed, "Cooper that's the Pink Floyds, she gave this to you?"

"Yeah, said I could listen to it with her when I get back."

Shane studied the disc in the dim light. "Momentary Lapse of Reason" she read out loud. "Cooper this is really something... but ... I thought you and Madi didn't like each other. When you first started going you said you hated it. What changed your mind?"

Cooper jumped up and Shane thought he going over but he just fired off some rounds and looked for Chigs on the ground. When he fell back down he concentrated on chambering a new round. He really didn't want to have this conversation but Shane was waiting and she had that dog with a bone look that Cooper knew so well.

"She basically told me if I wanted a better life I needed to quit feeling sorry for myself for being born a Tank and take advantage of the opportunities that I do have. So I'm trying and Madi says I'm doing good...um...well... she says I'm doing well. And...I like it now and I..uh..I guess I like her too... a lot."

Shane was floored, the Cards would be floored, well except for Phousse. She was the one who had seen the kiss on the cheek. Shane had been sceptical. She'd told Vanessa firmly that if anything like that was going on Cooper would have told her. Vanessa just gave her an understanding look and now Shane realised she was a little jealous and a little hurt. And how dare Madi call him a Tank?

She looked at Cooper's face and saw the misery in his eyes. "What?" she asked softly.

"I don't know what these feelings, these emotions mean Shane. All these thoughts keep running through my mind at the same time. I can't wait to see her again but I keep thinking about her leaving and it makes me hurt right here," he said placing his bloody hand over his chest, "and I wish I could go back to when I didn't like her and it didn't hurt but then that just feels empty, like when I didn't have you guys."

"Oh Coop." Shane didn't know what else to say. She put her own grubby hand over his and laid her head on his shoulder. "All I know is that none of us get out of this life without feeling pain. That's part of being human." Cooper seemed calmer and Shane was about to ask something else when McQueen's static-marred voice came over the radio.

"Do you ladies need a hand out of that foxhole or have you killed each other?" Shane's full lips stretched into a smile as she reached for the receiver. "Sir, no sir! Lt. Hawkes and I are alive and well." Shane noticed for the first time that the shelling had stopped. When had that happened?

"Then maybe you two prairie dogs wouldn't mind coming up and helping us get rid of the enemy so we can get to that communications centre, Captain Vansen." McQueen suggested sarcastically.

Cooper and Vansen looked at each other, grinned, and jumped into the fray. McQueen had such an odd way of showing he cared.

~*~

Madi was on her way back from the library when she heard the announcement that the ISSCV carrying the 58th squadron was docking. She made her way towards that part of the ship, staying in the shadows out of the way, and no one paid the slightest attention to her. She was smiling at her cleverness when a medical team pushing a gurney nearly ran over her. She jumped back to keep from being hit then fell limply against the metal wall behind her when she recognised Cooper on the cart. It was difficult with all the blood and paint to even see his face clearly, but it was him; she could hear him growling at the hapless technician to get that "fuckin' needle out of his arm, he was fine!"

She wasn't sure how long she stood there before she realised someone was speaking to her. She thought it odd that she could see Nathan West's mouth move but couldn't hear any sound. She saw him look worriedly to Shane and say something, then her ears were ringing like bells as Shane slapped her face. Nathan raised his eyebrows and looked around, seemingly casually, to see if anyone else was in the corridor. He personally thought Shane put a bit too much enthusiasm in that slap to bring Ms. Gibson around.

"Shake it off, Gibson. Cooper's fine, it's just a scalp wound. If you're going to mess around with a Marine you'd better toughen up a little, sweetheart." Vansen suggested with saccharine sweetness. Now Nathan was rolling his eyes. Madi straightened up and took a deep breath.

"I think you're right, Shane, I am going to have to toughen up. Seeing Cooper like that, it just ...maybe McQueen is right. I'm sorry. Please excuse me." She brushed by them both and practically ran back towards her wardroom. Nathan looked resignedly at Shane, who didn't seem at all ashamed of herself.

"Come on Shane, let's go get cleaned up. I've got to shower and you need to lick your fur. Then you can tell me what that was all about."

Several hours later Cooper and his newly-stitched head were out for the count with a possible concussion. The remaining Wildcards gathered around their table at the Tun. Shane had their complete attention.

"Phousse, I owe you an apology. You were right about Coop and Gibson. I should have believed you and I'm sorry."

Vanessa waved her apology off with a smile, "Forget it, Shane, I'm more interested in the new news." Shane shot Nathan an accusing look which he managed to avoid by taking a sip of his beer.

"Well, since somebody has obviously been running his mouth, I may was well tell you what I know. Unfortunately, it's not much. He told me he likes the tutoring and he likes Gibson ... a lot. What Phousse saw her hand off to Cooper was an antique compact disc. Coop was holding it like it was the Holy Grail." Shane took a moment to take a sip of her own beer. "So my guess is he's got a major infatuation....how serious could it be? She's been here what? Two weeks? Nobody falls in love that fast." Shane said with complete conviction. Then she saw the look Nathan was giving her and said "What?!"

"I just think maybe you're oversimplifying things, Shane. You saw how she looked today when she saw Coop. She looked so...haunted. That is, she looked haunted until you almost slapped her teeth out." Nathan couldn't hold back a smile when he thought of Shane in that corridor.

"Well she called him a tank!" Shane exploded. The rest of the group lost their smiles.

"Coop said that?" Paul asked, obviously amazed.

"His exact words were that she told him to stop feeling sorry for himself for being born a tank and take advantage of his opportunities." Shane conceded. When she heard herself repeat Cooper's words they didn't sound nearly as bad as she'd first taken them. "Alright, go ahead and say it, I'm making way too big a deal out of this whole thing. You know...I left home for this very reason, I always felt I had to protect my sisters from themselves and now I'm doing it to Cooper. Why do I always do this?" she moaned.

Phousse reached across the table and laid her hand over Shane's. "I understand where you're coming from Shane, we've all been overprotective of him. Maybe...it's time to admit he's growing up. I've seen a big difference in him since we had R & R on the Bacchus. I never said anything to you guys but it was more than the Green Meanies and all. Something happened on that ship that changed Cooper." She smiled at Paul with extra meaning.

"Maybe we all changed a little after that."

"Well, I vote we support Cooper and avoid making things difficult for Ms. Gibson," Paul announced with a pointed glance at Vansen.

Nathan was surprised, Paul usually voted last, he always had to think things though to the point of infinity. "Paul, how do you know? We just got started." he demanded.

"I know cause I talk to her all the time in the ship's library and she's all right." Every eye was suddenly riveted to Paul.

Shane was incredulous. "You've talked to her and you never told us?"

Paul looked sheepish, "Until you mentioned Gibson I had no idea who Cooper's teacher was. Mid-twenties, reddish hair, blue-green eyes, about 5' 7"?" Paul asked.

"Now that she has Vansen's hand print on her cheek," Nathan threw in, "she should be a lot easier to identify."

At Phousse's nod of recognition, Paul continued. "I met her about two weeks ago and we really hit it off. She's funny, kinda cute," this with an evil grin at Vanessa, "smart, and um... I guess she just strikes me as someone who cares about people. I did get the impression that she wanted to tell me something or maybe ask me something. Now that I know who she is, I'm betting it was about Coop. But since she didn't know I know, I guess she couldn't."

Just then the alarm on Paul's watch went off. "It's time to wake Cooper and check on him. Who's turn?" he asked as he shut the alarm off.

"Mine." Nathan got to his feet. "Wait here for us, you know once he's awake he won't stay in there by himself," he threw over his shoulder as he left the Tun.

Shane and Vanessa exchanged amused glances, they weren't the only ones who watched over Cooper. Somewhere along the line, Nathan had lost his hatred of the "stupid tank" and the two had called an armed truce. After Neil's death their relationship began to grow when Nathan unconsciously took on the role of older brother to Coop. Shane and Vanessa discussed it and wondered if Nathan realised how much he had needed Cooper. Now they tended to pal around together. Cooper soaked up the attention and new experiences like a sponge. Shane worried that Paul might be the one left out but suspected Vanessa was keeping him busy.

~*~

Nathan quietly opened the hatch of the Wildcard's wardroom and walked over to Cooper's bunk. As he bent down to wake Cooper he noticed how bare the space above his bunk was. As long as Cooper had been here he hadn't even tacked up a photo. West figured he must not care for that kind of thing. Maybe InVitros didn't get attached to memorabilia like natural-borns. He swiftly shook Hawkes shoulder and then jumped back about four feet; the proper procedure for waking Cooper. He grinned as Hawkes came off the bunk in a flurry of motion. Nathan could never figure if he woke up first or swung first but the result was the same. As any of the Cards could tell you, if you touched Cooper while he was asleep he was liable to clean your clock and not even realise it.

"Wha?..West?...What the hell are you doin', can't you see I'm trying to get some rest?" Cooper put his hands on either side of his head and pushed as if that would ease the pain. Nathan could tell by the way he was squinching his eyes up that the light must be bothering him but he knew sympathy was wasted on Hawkes.

"Gotta wake you up every hour or so Coop in case you've got a concussion. Let me check your pupils and you can go back to bed." Cooper stood still but his eyes were mere slits. "Cooper, you have to open your eyes." Nathan said patiently. Damn, sometimes dealing with Hawkes was like dealing with a kid. He shined the penlight the docs had given him into Cooper's eyes and the pupils shrank like normal. "Alright Coop, see you later. Get some rest." Nathan started out the hatch only to be stopped by Cooper's suddenly anxious voice.

"Hey, Nate, uh, wait up. Let me get a shirt on and I'll go with you. Hell, if I sleep now I won't be able to sleep when you guys do." Nathan waited as Cooper brushed his teeth and washed up. He pulled on a shirt and ran a hand over his short hair in what accounted for grooming to Hawkes.

"How do I look?" He stood before Nathan with his hands held out to his sides.

"You look like hell, Coop." he said with all sincerity.

"Yeah, well I feel like hell. That's the look I was goin' for. Man, I'm starvin'... got anything to eat?"

"Shane saved this for you." Nathan reached under her pillow and threw a small apple to Cooper.

"What a sweetheart, remind me to thank her," he said as he pulled the hatch door closed. "What are you starin' at West?"

Actually Nathan was surprised that Cooper would thank anyone for anything except in a grudging way, but he wasn't supposed to mention the classes so he tilted his head to take in the shaved spot on Hawke's head. "Just checking out the new hairdo, Coop."

Cooper ran his hand gingerly over the bare spot, lightly tracing the seam of the stitches. The doc had said he could take them out in the morning. He guessed there were some good things about being an InVitro after all. He wondered what Madi would think when she saw his head. The 5-8 had docked late in the day and he had spent the early evening sleeping. Cooper decided to have a drink at the Tun then go and see her. Madi probably didn't even know he was back. With a grin of anticipation at seeing her again, Cooper crunched his apple as he and Nathan made their way back to the Wildcards.

In the Tun Cooper was greeted by smiles and whistles from the other three Cards.

"Hey, GI Geequed, how's the head?" Paul asked with a smile as he pulled out a chair beside himself for Cooper.

"Wanger! I'm alright." Cooper gave him a slap on the back and flopped down in the proffered chair, smiling shyly at Vanessa and Shane across the table. "Just thought I'd come down and have a drink before I go ..uh, before I do some things I need to do."

They all shared a glance with Nathan who had been right about Cooper not staying alone and asked with their eyes if he knew where Cooper was going. His almost imperceptible shrug answered their question.

"I'll get you a drink," Shane offered and went off towards the bar.

"Let me see your head, Coop." He obligingly held his head down low enough for Vanessa to run her fingers lightly over the stitches than ran along his hairline above his left temple. "You were lucky my friend," at everyone's surprised glance Vanessa smiled wickedly, "if you'd been hit somewhere besides that hard head it could have killed you." She plopped a tiny get-well kiss above the bare spot. They all laughed, Shane joining in as she set an icy drink in front of Cooper. He took a big swallow then made a face as he realized what he was drinking.

"Shane, you got Pepsi!" he complained.

"You love Pepsi and you don't need anything alcoholic after taking medicine, Cooper. Now shut up and drink it." She performed her own inspection of his stitches then ruffled his hair playfully before sitting down with the group. She smiled affectionately at Cooper. He was trying so hard to look disgusted at being fussed over and failing miserably. Shane knew he was wallowing in all the attention he was receiving.

His head felt like it had been drop kicked by a Chig, but as always, Cooper felt comforted just being in the middle his friends. Everything was back to normal with the Wildcards. They talked and laughed awhile, then sobered somewhat as Nathan gestured with his head and they turned to see McQueen come through the swinging doors. Things had been a little strained between Cooper and McQueen lately; that was another unsolved mystery. Now he came over to their table and stopped beside Cooper who gingerly raised his head and acknowledged his superior officer. "Colonel."

"Cooper." McQueen ran his glance around the table, nodding to each of his kids. "You all did good down on planet. Commodore Ross tells me that the backbone of enemy communications was broken. He's very pleased," McQueen informed them solemnly then he turned his attention back to Cooper who was staring at his ice cubes with seeming fascination. His eyes took in the soft drink on the table before he hooked a finger under Cooper's chin and tilted the younger man's head to examine the wound.

"You supposed to be out of bed, Hawkes?" McQueen drawled in his quiet way.

"I'm okay…Sir." Cooper's voice was just as neutral as McQueen's.

Vanessa, watching their faces, thought it was so sad that these two couldn't communicate their emotions to each other. She wondered if the others at the table could feel the fatherly concern emanating from their CO or see that Cooper was practically speechless with pleasure at being the center of McQueen's attention. Yet to look at their faces they could be talking about the weather. InVitros. She hoped Madi knew what she was getting into. He released Coop's chin and made small talk for a minute. Then seeming satisfied that everyone was accounted for and in good shape, he went off to the bar.

Cooper glanced at his watch and taking advantage of McQueen's interruption, rose to this feet. "Thanks for the Pepsi, Shane, and the apple. I've got to check on …something. See you guys later." They followed his departure with their eyes, then looked knowingly at each other as he left the Tun and turned right toward the guest cabins.

~*~

He made his way through the labyrinth of the Saratoga cursing the short hatch doors that forced him to stoop every ten feet or whack his head on the metal plates. He loved being with his friends and normally he would have stayed for the inevitable poker fleecing they gave him, but from the moment he had been back on the 'Toga he felt a strong urge to see Madi.

Despite his headache he was smiling as he came up on her cabin, thinking of how he'd left her the last time they'd been together. He knocked lightly at first, whistling softly to himself as he imagined Madi opening the door and pulling him to her for one of those kisses he liked so well. Cooper decided whatever it was he felt for Madi he liked it. For some reason he didn't understand he just needed to be near her.

He knocked again, still getting no answer. After more knocking and more waiting the whistling stopped and Cooper was frowning. The green light by Madi's hatch was proof that the cabin was occupied. Cooper was suddenly flooded with a whole new wave of emotions at the thought of Madi in her cabin with another Marine from the ship. All the uncertainties he'd felt on the ISSTV came flooding back and the hurt they caused made him furious, but determination held him there; he wasn't leaving without seeing her.

"Damn it, Madi, I know you're in there! You'd better open this hatch!" Cooper growled and this time banged on the door of the Saratoga's guest wardroom.

Madi lay in the dark on the hard bed listening to Cooper and debating abut opening the door. She'd spent the entire evening staring at the dark, trying to come to terms with the discovery she had made in the hallways of the Saratoga. Actually it had been more like a betrayal than a revelation. Madi had seen Cooper covered with blood and she knew, just somehow knew, that if he died she would want to die too. Knew that she, the most sensible, most levelheaded person in the world, was head over heels in love with Cooper Hawkes. The irony of the situation was overwhelming when she thought of the real reason she was aboard the Saratoga.

She had made her way back to her cabin and spent that time arguing with herself. Surely she was just over reacting; nobody fell in love in two weeks. Only an idiot would be stupid enough to fall for a Marine who would probably be blown to hell any day in this insane war. She wondered idly if she was worse than an idiot. She had fallen for an InVitro Marine whose life was endangered by something much more threatening than the Chigs.

Madi was appalled. She always planned on falling in love when she was thirty. She had the type of man picked out, the type of home they would live in, even the Old English Sheep dog that would play with their children. How could this happen? This was not what she had planned at all.

A sane woman, she told herself, would walk away from this situation and forget about some hotshot flyboy that she'd never see again after she returned to Earth. Once there she would be so busy with the kids…the thirty kids who would constantly remind her of Cooper…and she would never stop thinking of him, she finished solemnly.

Her mind told her to run, but her heart…her soul..knew it was too late. She loved him. She was mad as hell about it, but she knew…for her there would be only one; and whether she ran away from this or gave in to her love nothing would change that. Even if he never returned the love, even if he died. No matter how short or long their time together, however far apart they were, Madi knew that as long as she lived her soul would be intertwined with Cooper's.

She got up and opened the door.

Standing outside was a very upset Cooper Hawkes.

"Why wouldn't you open the door?" he growled. She didn't know what to say and so she lied.

"I was asleep," she said. "You woke me up."

His gaze took in the darkened room, and she could see that he'd decided to believe her, a fact she was grateful for. The last thing she wanted to do was to face an angry Hawkes, given the way that she felt at the moment. Scrub that, the last thing she wanted to do at the moment was to hurt him. She'd recognised that look on his face when she'd opened the door. That wary hurt look which told it's own story. He'd been afraid that she wouldn't open the door because she didn't want to. That she didn't want to see him. Which in it's own way was true. Although she doubted that he'd ever understand why.

He still hovered in the doorway, peering into her face, trying to gauge her mood, still not certain of his reception. The delay in her opening the door had dented his confidence, never very great at the best of times. The fact that her face was expressionless did nothing to reassure him. He couldn't tell if she was pleased to see him or not. He began to wonder if she regretted what had happened that afternoon, or even worse whether he'd imagined the whole thing.

He smiled shyly at her. "Hello kitty," he said.

Her face broke into a smile. God he was cute when he looked like that. Knowing that she was going to regret it, she fixed him with stern gaze and asked, "Well, are you going to stand out there all night."

At the sight of that smile, he felt a warm glow start deep inside him. Again he wondered what you called the way she made him feel. What you called the way he felt about her. His mind shied away from the word 'love'. Although he was a lot more open, emotionally, than McQueen, he still had difficulty with that word, with that concept. All he knew was that seeing that smile made him feel comfortable, made him feel at home, another concept with which he was unfamiliar. Like being with the 'Cards, yet different somehow.

Realising that he was still standing in the doorway and that she was staring at him with a slightly quizzical smile on her face, he wiped the goofy smile off his own face and assumed his normal surly expression and pushed past her into the room.

There was an uncomfortable silence for moment. Not being able to think of anything intelligent to say, he stated the obvious, "I woke you up?"

"Uh huh. I was asleep." Real intelligent remark, Madi, she thought to herself viciously. Now you sound as tongue tied as he normally is.

"I figured you had to be if I woke you up." To hide his nervousness, he began to pace around the room, nosing into corners, picking up objects and examining them, not looking at her. He reminded her of nothing so much as a cat in new surroundings. Now he's the one who should be called kitty, she thought.

The thought made her chuckle. He turned around, startled, to look at her. That action, and the look he was shooting at her, reminded her of her cat even more, and she laughed even harder.

His eyes narrowed, as he tried to figure out what he'd done to amuse her so much. He didn't know what it could have been, but the thought that she was laughing at him made him feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. And angry.

"What's so funny?" he snarled. She stopped laughing as she caught sight of his face. He was glaring at her and his cheeks were starting to go red in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," she giggled. "It's nothing."

He wasn't soothed by that. He was still glaring at her, and she could feel that walls slamming into place. I've got to head this off, she thought.

"It's just that when you walked into the room, you reminded me off someone." He looked a little mollified by that statement, but not much. He was still looking at her suspiciously.

"Who?"

Oh oh, she thought. He's not going to be happy about this. She tried to put him off. "It's not important."

"Then why were you laughing?"

I've hurt his feelings, she thought. If I tell him, it might hurt him more. But, if I don't.......Damn his In Vitro pride!

She decided to bite the bullet. "It's because you called me kitty," she explained. "But when you walked into this room, you immediately started to examine everything suspiciously, and you reminded me of a kitty. My kitty, to be exact."

He frowned while he absorbed this, trying to decide whether to be insulted or not. She watched his face, as suspicion battled with curiosity. Just like her cat.

Eventually, curiosity won, as she knew it would. "You have a cat. What's it called?"

She considered him for a moment and then took the plunge. "I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you about my cat if you answer a question for me." He immediately started to look suspicious again. Damn, he was hard work. "Don't worry," she sighed. "I'm not about to invade your privacy. It's just something I feel that I'm entitled to know. Deal?"

"What?"

"Deal?" she persisted. He stood there with his arms crossed defensively across his chest. Some small part of her mind dwelled on the sight of those biceps swelling beneath the sleeves of his T-shirt. Down girl, she thought. You are not at the mercy of your hormones. After a brief consideration she amended that thought. The hell you're not.

His eyes were weighing her up. Those beautiful eyes. Madi, she told herself firmly, you have got to get a grip or you will really be in trouble. Any more of this and you'll be ripping that T-shirt right off him. That particular thought made her knees go weak, and a tight queasy feeling hit the pit of her stomach. Dammit Madi, you're behaving like a love sick school girl. You've got butterflies. At your age. And about a six year old.

Cooper didn't seem to have noticed anything amiss, a fact for which she was profoundly grateful. Finally he answered her with a gruff, "Deal." He frowned again. "Don't make me regret it."

She laughed. "Don't worry Cooper. I'm quite aware of the fact that I couldn't make you answer anything you don't want to. You're quite capable of breaking me in two if I get too presumptuous."

That adorable little crease appeared on his forehead between his eyes, as he frowned once more. "Madi, you know I'd never hurt you."

His words sent a delightful shiver down her spine. She swallowed the large lump that seemed to have formed in her throat, and realised with surprise that she was having to fight hard not to cry. She tried to inject a note of normality into her tone.

"My cat's name is Schrodinger. As in Schrodinger's cat. Although we call him the Moog for short. I don't know why. My father picked it for him. I've no idea what it means, but it seems to suit him. He's black and white, fluffy, and curious as hell. Why do you call me kitty?"

He seemed taken aback by the sudden change in topic, and then a shy smile crept across his face.

"Because that's what you remind me of. When you're curled up reading a book, with your hair all ruffled and wearing those ridiculous glasses, you remind me of a small fluffy golden red kitten I once saw. It was in a pet shop window in Philadelphia, and too expensive. Besides, what would I have done with a kitten, on the streets. I thought it was cute, though." Somehow he'd made his way across the room and was standing just in front of her. His index finger reached out and started to gently stroke her bottom lip. His voice dropped a register, until it was so low she could barely hear it as he added in a whisper "I think that you're cute. Especially in those glasses. When you're in those glasses, I wonder what it would be like to see you in just those glasses. In those glasses and in my bed."

As the meaning of his words sunk in, she seemed to lose the ability to breath. She also seemed to lose the ability to think. She could only stare into those beautiful blue eyes, mesmerised as his face closed the distance between them. Some small part of her mind, that small part that was still capable of rational thought, wondered where the hell Cooper Hawkes had learnt to talk so seductively. To be so seductive.

Suddenly she was on the other side of the room, unsure as to how she'd got there and breathing raggedly. She looked over to him, and saw him standing where she'd left him, watching her with an startled look. She must have run, she thought. Without thinking about it. She watched the hurt blossom on his face. I did that, she thought. I caused that pain. Maybe McQueen was right. Another part of her brain derided this thought.

"Madi," his voice was low and uncertain. "Did I do something wrong? I thought that after this afternoon......I thought you liked me." His voice trailed off, miserably. She'd never seen him so vulnerable, so uncertain.

"I do like you Cooper. I like you a lot. I'm just scared, that's all."

"Scared. Of me?" He sounded more upset and miserable, if that was possible. "I said that I wouldn't hurt you. Didn't you believe me?"

She hastened to reassure him. "Of course I believe you Cooper. It's not you who scares me. It's me."

He looked even more confused. She took a deep breath. "I'm scared of the way you make me feel. I saw you today. I saw when they brought you back to the 'Toga. I'm scared of the pain that I felt when I saw that you were hurt." She took a deep breath, surprised that she'd opened up to him that much. What is it about you, Cooper Hawkes, that lets you get under my skin so easily.

"But, I'm okay," he burst out. "I'm fine. The doctors said I've just got a mild case of concussion, that's all. That I'll be right as rain in no time."

"But what about next time," she burst out, agitated. "And the time after that, and the time after that. What if it's not all right then."

He frowned again. "But what about you?" he asked. That comment threw her off balance. She gaped at him, unable to understand what he could mean. "What about the attack on the station. What if the AI s had killed you then. What if they do it tomorrow. What if you get sick?' What if........"

"What if I get run over by a bus?" she laughed. His face relaxed into a smile.

"Yes, what if you get run over by a bus. How do you think I'd feel?"

"How would you feel?" she asked softly, moving closer to him. Her eyes captured his, not letting him escape. "How would you feel, if something happened to me?"

He looked scared again, and then a look of determination crossed his face as he returned her stare steadily. His voice was low as he replied, "I think I'd want to die."

That simple statement shook her to the core. Reaching up, she caught hold of his face and pulled it down so that their lips could finally touch. Their kiss was gentle at first, as though they were both still tender after the revelations that had been made, and then deepened. A jolt of electricity shot through her body, as his tongue parted her lips and caressed hers. After a moment she broke their kiss, and sighed raggedly as she rested her head against his chest.

"Now where did you learn to kiss like that?" she breathed. She heard, and felt a deep rumbling by her ear as he chuckled.

"Did you like it?" he asked innocently. "I kinda made it up." She looked up into his face, which was flushed with pleasure. Oh god, she thought, I'm in trouble if he can make that up. What other surprises does he have in store? Meeting his eyes, she added words to what she'd already confirmed physically. "I liked it."

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