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As Tina Baccus locked her car in the underground carpark
of CI5 HQ she saw Sam's dark lexus pull into the space beside
her. She decided to wait for him and he nodded a greeting
as he climbed out of the car. They had got over being awkward
around each other after she and Sam had spent the night
together when they thought that Chris had been murdered
but she had not spent any significant time with either man,
somehow retreating to the periphery - not wanting to intrude
on their relationship. Still, she considered Chris one of
her best friends and she asked about his health.
"How's Chris doing Sam" she enquired as the dark Englishman
fell into step beside her.
"As well as can be expected" he replied "He's getting
more mobile every day."
"Good" said Tina smiling up at him. "And how are you doing?"
Sam glanced down and a rueful smile creased his face.
"I'm fine Tina."
They stopped at the bank of lifts and he pressed the call
button. Tina took the opportunity to put her hand on his
arm.
"Now tell me the truth Sam?" she asked, studying him intently.
Sam looked tired, dark circles forming under his eyes.
He sighed. He should have realised that he couldn't keep
anything from her.
"Ok. Truthfully I'm tired. I don't like leaving Chris
on his own too much. He may be healing physically but mentally
I think it's going to take a while until he's ready to come
back to work."
"Is he still having the nightmares?"
Sam nodded "Not as many as at the beginning but he's still
woken up screaming four times this week."
He felt her hand give him a squeeze.
"It'll get better. It just takes time."
"I know Tina but it's so frustrating . I want to help
him but I don't want to be over-protective. Chris reacts
badly when I 'hover'."
"You're there for him, that's what he needs."
The lift doors opened and they stepped in. Tina pressed
the button for the ops room as Sam continued.
"He's seeing the shrink again today but I don't know whether
it's doing any good. You know what Chris is like with Dr
Steel."
"Come on Sam. Both of you have been through situations
like this before. If Chris can get over losing his wife
on his wedding day and nearly losing you to Sandling then
I'm sure being murdered is a piece of cake for him. You've
got each other and that bond is stronger than anything else
in this big bad world. He may not always show it but he's
grateful that you're there."
She gave him a quick hug. "If you ever need to talk about
it I'm here."
Sam leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.
"Thank you Tina but you may come to regret that."
They pulled apart as the lift doors opened and they walked
into the main office.
She watched as he walked over to his desk and turned his
attention to his computer. She worried about Sam, he obviously
was shouldering a heavy burden. She knew both men well and
she could imagine that Keel would be frustrated with himself
at his limitations and weakness and unfortunately Sam was
taking the brunt of his anger. Sam had the patience of a
saint sometimes when dealing with the wayward American but
she could see the strain of him trying to separate his home
life and work life beginning to show. She mentally berated
herself at letting the situation get so bad. She should
have visited sooner, allowed Sam to take a break, given
him a chance to share the load but she had felt awkward
at the thought of what she would say to the injured American.
She and Sam had slept together when Chris was missing but
they genuinely thought he was dead. She had talked with
Sam about it and they had resolved that it was just something
that happened and that they had no reason for guilt. Sam
hadn't mentioned it since and she had to agree that this
was probably the best way of detailing with it.
However, she was unsure what she would feel when confronted
with Chris. She didn't know what Sam had told him about
those nightmare days but she still felt like she had done
something wrong.
She heard Malone call to Curtis, asking him to come into
his office and she watched as he tiredly rose to his feet,
scrubbing his hand through his dark hair.
She made a decision and before she changed her mind she
intercepted him.
"Sam, do you think Chris is up to visitors?"
He gave her a tired smile. "I'm sure he'd love to see
you Tina. How about getting a takeaway and coming home with
me tonight?"
"It's a date" she said and was pleased to see him grin.
"That's more like it Sam."
She turned back to her desk and suddenly began to panic.
"Oh shit, well done Tina. He's invited the 'other woman'
round for tea."
The day proved to be busy and she had no time to worry
about the forthcoming evening. Sam came out of Malone's
office and disappeared out for most of the day. She began
to worry when he had not arrived back at 5.00pm. Finally
signing off the report that she had been working on she
leaned back in her chair and massaged her aching neck. Some
days she just seemed to be chained to the keyboard. The
phone next to her rang and she picked it up quickly. "53"
she answered.
"Tina, its Sam. Sorry about this but I'm not going to
get back for another couple of hours. "
"Oh it's alright Sam. We'll make it another night." "No,
it's ok Tina. I've spoken to Chris. He's suggested that
you bring a takeaway anyway. I should be back about 8 o'clock
ish."
Tina cursed under her breath. The last thing she needed
was to spend time with Chris on her own but she knew that
he was expecting her now and a refusal would seem suspicious.
"Ok. What do you want to eat?"
"Chinese if that's ok with you. Get one of those banquets,
Chris loves the variety. He's looking forward to seeing
you, you should have heard him when I asked if it was ok.
Told me he was glad that he was going to get some 'un-cultured'
conversation for a change."
She couldn't help but laugh. "He's never going to let
you live that remark down. I'll see you later."
She ended the call and tried to quell the butterflies
in her stomach.
One and a half hours later she stood outside the apartment
door and steeled herself.
"Come on Tina. You can get though this" she murmured under
her breath.
She rang the bell and waited patiently for it to be opened.
It took a couple of minutes but the door intercom finally
buzzed.
"Yeah" came a soft American drawl.
"Chris. It's Tina. Let me in or you're dinner will get
cold."
"Come on up" he invited and she heard the security lock
click. Pushing the door open she climbed the stairs and
as she came to the top she saw him standing near the kitchen
door, waiting for her.
He looked pale and had lost weight. His bruises were merely
shadows now but she saw how he balanced against the wall
trying not to put any weight on his injured leg. Three fingers
were still strapped together on this right hand but the
others were looking fine, although still swollen.
He smiled as he saw her critical appraisal, the takeaway
bags hanging from her fingers loosely.
"I'm fine Tina" he said with a smile "It's taking some
time and I may be a little slow at getting around but I'm
going to be ok."
She dropped the bags and ran towards him, giving him a
tight hug and kissing him on his cheek.
"Oh Chris. I'm sorry I've not been to see you but I thought
that you and Sam needed some time alone."
He returned her hug with enthusiasm. He knew how awkward
she would be feeling and had resolved to make the evening
as comfortable as possible for her.
She hugged him tighter and he groaned at the ache in his
ribs. She immediately pulled back and apologised.
He grinned and shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I still
get twinges but it's getting better every day. Now I'm starving.
What have you brought to feed me?"
She turned her attention to the bags at her feet. "Chinese
banquet for 3. Is that ok?"
"Peachy" said the American leaning down to pick up one.
His knee protested and he drew in a sharp breath as she
stopped him.
"Stupid boy. " she tutted "Sit down Chris before you fall
down."
"Damn Tina. You're a worse nursemaid than Sam."
She glowered at him and he held up his hands in submission
and limped over to the couch.
Soon they were sat in the lounge, Chris on the sofa and
Tina in one of the single armchairs. Each had a plate full
of food balanced on their lap. Tina had a glass of wine
on the coffee table in front of her and Chris had a glass
of orange juice. He had asked for a bottle of bud but she
had reminded him about not mixing alcohol with his painkillers.
The American had sworn softly but acquiesced. Their conversation
was light, both friends reluctant to make each other uncomfortable.
Chris lay back against the cushions, his leg propped up
on the table before him. He nearly cleared his plate, pleased
that his appitite was finally coming back.
"What time do you think Sam will be back?" he asked, shovelling
a final fork of rice into his mouth.
"He said around 8 o'clock. I know he had a pre-trial meeting
in Croydon and I guess it's gone on longer than he thought."
"I wouldn't be surprised if he's gone for a drink somewhere."
Tina protested hotly. "No, he wouldn't do that Chris.
"
"I wouldn't blame him. I've been pretty hard to live with
over the last couple of weeks."
Tina finished her dinner and put the plate on the coffee
table in front of her.
"You've been through a lot Chris. Sam understands that.
"
"I know. It's just sometimes I get so frustrated when
I can't even do the simple things. I feel that I need to
lash out and I'm afraid he's the nearest target."
Tina got up and came to sit next to Chris. Taking the
nearly empty plate from him she placed it on the coffee
table.
"You've both been through a lot. He understands that you
don't mean it." Chris looked at her.
"Tina, tell me about what he was like when you thought
I was dead."
"Have you not talked about it?"
"Yeah. But I need to know the truth Tina. He just says
that it was a miserable time that he just wants to forget."
"Good advice Chris."
Chris nodded . "I'd like to know Tina. I won't tell him
that you told me but I just want to understand what he was
going through."
Tina sat back and considered the request. How could she
deny him and although she felt that she was betraying Sam's
confidence she knew that it would help both men if she told
of those dark days.
She picked up her glass of wine and took a long drink.
Offering the orange juice to Chris he shook his head.
"He was devastated Chris. It was like someone had stolen
the life-force from him. He existed but he didn't live.
During that first week he didn't sleep much and he put all
his energy into finding who had killed you. We tried everything
but each lead came up fruitless and I saw him slowly slipping
into his shell day by day. We held a memorial service for
you and it was like I was sitting next to a robot. He replied
to people but he wasn't there in his mind. After the service
I brought him home and he broke down. I've never seen anyone
so lost and griefstricken. He cried himself to sleep."
"He says you were with him all the time, supporting him.
I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough."
Tina swallowed a lump in her throat.
"Someone had to be with him. I couldn't bear to seem him
hurting so much"
Chris clutched her hand.
"I know. You love him just as much as me"
She turned shocked eyes to him but saw him smiling.
"Sam told me that you slept together on the night of the
memorial service."
"Oh god"
"And he also said you'd be mortified if you ever found
out that he'd told me." he laughed.
She couldn't look him in the eye.
"Chris, what happened was not planned. We'd had too much
to drink and he woke up screaming. I was in the spare room
and came to see if he was ok."
"And he wasn't."
"He said he kept dreaming of you lying in a dark place
crying out for him."
Chris shuddered at how close to the truth that nightmare
was.
"We were both drunk and it just happened."
Chris raised her chin so that their gazes met.
"Don't feel guilty Tina. I'm ok about it - honestly. You
both thought I was dead."
Tina's eyes welled with tears.
"I'm sorry Chris. It was a stupid thing to happen but
we were both vulnerable, so in need of comfort."
Chris gently kissed her cheek and gave her a hug.
"It happened Tina. Don't beat yourself up about it."
She pulled back and wiped away the tears.
"This is why you've not been to see me isn't it" he murmured
seeing her nod numbly.
"How could I Chris. Every time I think about you two together
and what you have I feel guilty. Sam doesn't want me.,I
know that. Yes, I love Sam just as much as you but you are
definitely the priority in his life. There's no way I can
compete with you and I don't ever want to. Sam needed a
friend that night and I was there."
"No guilt Tina. What happened has been forgotten. Heck,
I'm relieved he slept with you. If it had been Spencer or
Richards then I would have been upset."
She burst into laughter and hugged him. "Are we ok?" she
asked
"Yeah but I expect you to do the same if Sam ever cops
it."
Tina sat back shocked. "Chris!" she exclaimed watching
as the American collapsed in a fit of giggles.
She thumped him before joining in with the laughter.
Sam walked up the stairs slowly grinning at the sound of
giggles coming from the lounge. He knew that Tina had been
worried about meeting Chris for the first time and that
was the reason why he had stayed out longer than usual.
He knew that Chris would be able to resolve her fears and
by the sound of it he had succeeded.
He peered over the top of the stair rail and saw that
a nearly empty bottle of wine lay on the coffee table and
Tina and Chris were both curled up together on the sofa
giggling like school kids.
"So did he do that thing with his tongue?" asked Chris.
"What thing?" replied the small Canadian grinning.
Chris leaned over and whispered something in her ear which
made her blush.
"Oh yes he did" she purred. "He's very good at that isn't
he"
"Hmm. Very accomplished is our Sammy."
Sam decided that it was time for him to make his appearance
and climbed that last three steps.
Both of his friends looked up and pulled apart sheepishly
as he tried to use his patented glare on them.
Both Chris and Tina collapsed into fits of laughter and
he found himself grinning.
"I see you've had a good night." he commented walking
over and kissing both of them.
Chris happily smiled up.
"We've had a very interesting conversation Sam. There's
a few moves which I think I've been missing out on."
Tina slapped him on his thigh. "I told you that in confidence
Keel." she berated.
Sam smiled and rolled his eyes.
Tina rose to her feet. "You're dinner is in the microwave.
It just needs heating up."
Sam followed her into the kitchen after seeing the American
give a subtle thumbs up sign.
"Glad you came Tina?" he asked, taking another bottle
of wine from the fridge as she clicked on the microwave.
She turned around and nodded her head.
"Chris made the best of an awkward situation."
"Yeah, he's an expert at that. Thanks Tina. I can see
it's done a lot of good for him as well."
She glared at him. "how many times do I have to say it
Sam. Don't keep thanking me."
He laughed.
The microwave beeped and he took the hot food out of the
oven. They walked into lounge and ,after setting the wine
and glass on the table, he seated himself next to Chris.
Chris rolled his eyes as he saw Tina drop into the single
armchair.
"Possessive you see Tina."
"Well you can hardly cuddle the 'other woman' when he's
around can you. It's alright. He won't always be here."
Sam quirked his eyebrow. "Is there something that you
two need to tell me?"
They both giggled.
"Just making the best of an awkward situation Sam" replied
Chris with a smile.
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