Chris Keel shivered as he lay prone in the undergrowth, binoculars trained on the house in front of him. Hearing a soft whistle towards his left he glanced up to see his partner, Sam Curtis, slip quietly to the ground beside him.

"Two guards both armed with Kalashnikovs on the East side" he muttered as Chris dropped the binoculars.

"Two more on this side" he answered. "They're on a regular patrol. I reckon we've got a clear 10 minutes to get to the computer room before we need to worry about them."

Sam grimaced. "10 minutes is pushing it to download the hard-drive"

"That's all we've got buddy. These guys are as regular as clockwork."

Sam nodded his head accepting his partner's judgement without question.

The American turned with a smile. "You'll just have to quick won't you."

They were in the Eastern European country of Estonia, their mission to obtain the computer records of one Victor Alexandriov Chernenko, a major dealer in ex-soviet weaponry and equipment. They had arrived the night before and had trekked 20 miles to arrive at their target just after dusk.

Chris shivered again, the temperature was definitely below freezing.

"Why can't we ever get any nice hot locations at this time of year. February in Estonia is about the coldest place I have ever been." he grumbled.

Sam patted his back in affectionate amusement.

"Because when we get sent to hot places you tend to crash planes"

"That was only once" protested Chris hotly.

"And Malone has not forgotten it yet."

Spotting a guard strolling around the corner of the building he gathered himself.

"Ready?"

Chris tensed. "Let's do it."

~*~

Chris glanced nervously at his partner.

"Time to go buddy" he called quietly. He could hear the sounds of heavy footsteps coming up the stairs to the first floor. Sam hunched over the computer impatiently tapping his fingers as the hard drive downloaded onto the zip disc.

"Nearly there" he muttered as he watched the scale rapidly climb on the memory stick. Chris returned his gaze to the corridor.

"Times up Sammy boy, we've gotta go" he called as two armed men entered into his field of vision. He ducked quickly back out of sight bringing the barrel of his gun up in readiness.

"Got it" Sam cried softly, swiftly removing the disc and packing it in his rucksack. He swung it up onto his shoulders and joined Chris at the door.

"No way out this way" muttered the American "two heavies with guns cutting of the stairs."

Sam glanced behind him. "Out of the window it is then" he grinned.

The window was unlocked and he was relieved that they didn't need to smash it and consequently give away their presence. Sam dropped the short distance from the first floor to the grass beneath and Chris followed immediately, rolling on impact until he found his feet again. Their eyes met and with a nod of acknowledgement they made their way to the corner of the house, aiming for the cover of the trees.

It was there that their luck ran out. As they passed the corner suddenly Chris yelled as he felt strong arms wrap around his gun arm pulling him off balance. He turned and saw a security guard who had spotted them coming around the corner. Having no time to swing his gun, the guard had tackled the intruder in the best way he could think of. Twisting round, Chris managed to slam the guard against the wall but he was more than a match for Chris's strength and size. For a few seconds they struggled, both trying to gain control over the pistol. Chris managed to raise it towards his opponents face, his muscles screaming at the effort as Sam watched helplessly, unable to get a clear shot at the guard. He forced the gun around to point towards his opponents seeing the dark determination change to fear in his eyes. The man fought for his life and just as Chris's finger pulled the trigger he twisted, pulling the American down with him. The gun went off an inch from Chris's face, showering his eyes with hot powder residue. It also took half of his enemy's face off and Chris fell to the floor splattered with blood and clutching his face in agony. Sam immediately went into action, picking up Chris's gun and stuffing it in his pocket. He grabbed the back of Chris's collar and heaved him to his feet.

"We've got to get out of here Chris" he cried, putting his arm around his partner. Chris stumbled along as he was dragged towards the cover of the forest. In a haze of pain he automatically put his trust in Sam. He knew that the urgency was necessary, the shot would have alerted the bad guys to their position and they needed to put as much distance between them before he could give into the pain. His eyes burned terribly, the flesh swelling as the powder burnt his skin.

~*~

It was over an hour until Sam felt it was safe to stop. All signs of pursuit had been lost about 10 minutes previously and Chris gratefully sank to his knees as Sam stopped in a copse of trees. A small stream flowed lazily through the centre and he thought that this was a good a place as any to be able to finally tend to his partner. He was continually amazed by Keel's tenacity. He knew that he was blind and in a lot of pain and yet had hung onto Sam trying his best not to be a hindrance. It had taken its toll on both of them and he looked in concern at his partner who was kneeling, head bowed and breathing heaving. Slipping the rucksack off his shoulders he rummaged around until he found the field med-kit and torch. Although the moon was quite bright, the trees shaded out a lot of the light and he decided that the need to tend to the injured man negated the risk of anyone seeing the light. Not quite sure how best to treat the burns he sorted through the kit and decided the first thing he needed to do was get rid of the burning powder. Lighting the torch he shined it into his friend's face grimacing at the dried blood that stained his cheeks.

"Let me have a look Chris" he murmured gently raising his partner's chin. Chris groaned tiredly.

"Stay with me" the Englishman muttered examining the burnt and swollen flesh. Chris groaned again as Sam gingerly opened the eyes. Swearing sharply he pulled away.

"Sorry, but I'm going to have to wash out your eyes. It's going to hurt but I'll be as quick as I can".

Chris brought his head up slowly. "Do what you have to do buddy. It can't hurt much more than it does right now."

‘Wanna bet' thought Sam grimly. Laying a hand on his partner's shoulder he pressed the injured man to lie on his back and positioned himself behind him, catching Chris's head between his knees.

"Here Chris, hold the torch this way for me. I need both hands for this."

Chris took the torch offered and held it as Sam indicated with the result that the beam illuminated his face. Taking his water bottle Sam held it over the damaged eyes and took a deep breath to steady his nerves. First holding the left eye open he poured the water in keeping his knee pressed to Chris's head to limit the movement. Chris screamed and squirmed. Holding him tightly Sam washed out the powder until satisfied and then continued on to the treatment of the right eye. When the water bottle was empty he released his hold and sat back on his heels.

Chris slowly raised himself to a sitting position cursing softly, trying to banish the pain to a small corner of his brain. Eventually the pain subsided into a dull throbbing sensation and he finally managed to regulate his breathing.

"Shit, that hurt" he muttered.

Sam was now busying himself soaking a bandage in the small stream.

"Sorry about that but I had to get all the powder out of your eyes."

"I know, thanks Sam"

Sam moved back to his partner's side. "You can do the same for me one day"

"I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Ouch" he flinched again as the cold bandage was placed against the abused flesh.

Quickly finishing the job Sam gripped Chris on the shoulder.

"We've got to put as much distance as we can between us and the bad guys. Are you ok to walk?"

Chris nodded. "The sooner we get to the rendezvous point the better" he said climbing to his feet with Sam's help. Swinging the rucksack back onto his shoulders, Sam gripped him around the waist. "Same as before Chris, one foot in front of the other. Lets go."

~*~

He looked so young when he was asleep, the cares that wore him down fell away. Sam shuffled closer, his arm wrapping around his partner's shoulders, comforting and warm. With a pang of regret he felt his sleepiness wearing think and he remembered the events that had occurred the previous night. Gazing down at the sleeping form next to him a surge of concern and affection swept through him. He hoped that Chris would understand and forgive him if he knew the despair he felt and Sam felt the need to wallow in it for a moment. He couldn't bear to see the American hurt and he took a little time to let his worries surface.

He loved this man with a passion that sometimes took his breath away. It was a passion that he always had to hide and he revelled in the closeness of the warm body beside him. His feelings for Chris had developed over the 3 years of their partnership and in the last few months had transformed from close friendship to a deep love. He had been with men before when he was a lot younger and at first he assumed it was purely lust for Chris, with his strong muscular physique and startlingly blue eyes. He wanted Chris so much that sometimes it was hard to concentrate when they were in close proximity on operations. But he soon knew that his feelings were stronger than just lust. When they were apart he missed him so much that he knew that this wasn't a short term crush. But he could never tell him. When Chris had told him, after that nightmare, that he had been married Sam saw his hopes fly into the wind. He had settled for that close bond of brotherhood instead of lovers but it was hard some days - especially when either of them was hurt or afraid and in need of comfort.

Sighing, he saw that dawn was creeping over the horizon and slowly he withdrew his arm pulling away without disturbing Chris. Silently, he rose to his feet stretching his cold muscles and moved over to the small fire, now just a pile of smoking ashes. He turned on the satellite navigation device and checked the reading. The rendezvous was arranged for midnight but their flight from their pursuers had forced them in the wrong direction and they would have to circle back more than 30 miles. For two young fully fit CI5 agents that wouldn't normally be a problem but one handicapped by blindness made the journey a new proposition. Sighing again, he sorted through the rucksack pulling out a packet of dried soup, ready to prepare breakfast. They needed a nourishing meal before they stared off on their arduous trek. The terrain was rocky and cold. Biting winds fed in from the mountains and a steady fall of rain the previous day had made the footing treacherous. The previous nights walk, until Chris had collapsed exhausted, had been one problem after another, slipping and sliding and sometimes falling. Each had a multitude of cuts, grazes and scrapes and finally Sam had called a halt worried that a fall could cause a serious injury. At least Chris would still walk, even if he couldn't see but Sam knew that the more exhausted they each got, the more risk they undertook. Finding cover under an overhanging rock face he had built a small fire and they had both huddled together for body warmth. Sam smiled to himself - and more than a little comfort - he thought.

He knew Chris was more experienced in the art of survival in the wild but he had spent several missions with him and Chris had passed on a lot of his knowledge. Sam knew that normally they would be able to get to their pick-up on time but with Chris blind and in pain he didn't expect their chances to be high of reaching it for midnight. They also had to avoid contact with any locals. The last thing they needed was to be taken into custody by the local militia due to their links with the gun runners.

He turned as Chris stirred, the smell of simmering soup rousing him. Sitting up, Chris automatically went to rub the sleep out of his eyes and seemed surprised to feel the bandage wrapped around his head. Groaning softly as the burns around his eyes made themselves know he lowered his hands and called out. "Sam?"

The Englishman moved over to his side, gently placing his hand on his partner's shoulder.

"I knew the smell of food would make you wake up"

Chris grunted in reply so Sam continued.

"How are you feeling?"

"Great" muttered Chris. "I'm cold, hungry, sore and someone's turned the lights out. Other than that I'm just peachy."

Sam squeezed his shoulder in sympathy and helped him up.

"Breakfast is on. Come on closer to the fire."

Chris stretched and rocked slightly as a dizzy spell made his head spin. Sam supported him for a second but found his hand batted away. "I'm ok" muttered the American." How far are we from the pick-up?" Sam guided him to a rock near the fire.

"I've just checked the sat-nav. We got pushed out of the way last night. We've got to make up a little over 30 miles." "How long?"

"A little over 16 hours."

Chris mused for a while, warming his chilled body as Sam busied himself preparing the food. They ate in relative silence.

"16 hours is asking a lot of us." said Chris quietly. "any chance of contacting base to re-arrange?"

Sam shook his head forgetting that his partner couldn't see the action.

"Not a good idea" he answered. "It's too risky. If we don't get there we'll contact them but you don't know who's got scanners these days. I don't fancy being guests of Mr Chernenko do you?"

Chris shivered. "Not my idea of a good time" he agreed.

"We'll see how we get on today. At least the rain has stopped which should make the going a bit easier."

"Sorry Sam. I can't have been much help last night" said Chris guiltily.

Sam clutched his shoulder. "It wasn't your fault. You were lucky that creep didn't blow your head off. How the hell would I have explained that to Malone. As I see it, at least your still mobile and more or less with it."

Seeing that Chris had finished eating he reached into the rucksack and pulled out the painkillers. Pressing them into Chris's hand together with the water bottle he added. "Take a couple of these, they'll help you get through the day".

Chris grumbled but swallowed them with a long swig of water. Sam knelt up and unwound the bandage, wincing as the swollen flesh was revealed. The eyes were both swollen shut and the skin around them red and weeping. Chris winced and swore as the cold wind hit the wound.

"Looking that good hey?" he murmured sensing Sam's hesitation.

Mentally berating himself, Sam replied. "It looks bad at the minute but these kind of things always do. You'll be ok once the swelling goes down. Your automatic reflex action will have shut your eyes so I think most of the damage will be e to the surrounding tissues rather than your eyes."

"You're a doctor now?"

"No, I just have an expert knowledge of human bodily functions"

"You mean, you read that in a book once"

Sam laughed shortly. "Something like that"

"I hope you're right Sam"

‘So am I' thought Sam. "As soon as I've redressed your eyes we can make a start".

Sam felt Chris's hand on his arm.

"I'm frightened" he admitted quietly.

Sam could not resist the natural instinct and he drew Chris into his arms. Hugging him tightly back Chris buried his head in his partner's chest. "It'll be ok, I'll get you out of here. I promise" Sam whispered. After a long few moments Chris drew back "thanks Sam" he murmured embarrassed by his show of emotion. He was also very disconcerted by the fact that he had enjoyed the closeness of his very male partner. Sam gave him a long look and saw that he was mentally pulling himself together. He soaked the bandage with water again and proceeded to wrap it around his friend's head. By the time he had finished Chris had reined in his fears and mentally steeled himself for the ordeal of the day before them.

"Sam?" he said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"You know you're an expert in bodily functions?"

Sam looked up confused.

"Er …"

"I really need to pee. Could you point me in the right direction so that I don't put out the fire."

~*~

They made steady progress during the day, Sam holding Chris firmly by the elbow warning him of any obstacles in their way. It was wearing and very time consuming and about 3.00pm they stopped for a short rest. Chris slumped back against a rock wearily. The pain of his damaged eyes had been dulled for most of the morning but the effect of the painkillers he'd taken with breakfast had started to face and he felt the tell tale throbbing - a sensation of remembered pain.

Sam checked the satellite navigation handset and saw that they had covered nearly 12 miles. He was surprised as the thought they had not made as much progress. However, he knew they could not continue at this pace. He was well aware that Chris's reserves of strength were being quickly depleted.

"How are we doing" asked Chris having heard the bleep from the sat-nav being turned on.

"Just over 18 miles to RV but the timing isn't brilliant" replied Sam closing the handset and replacing it in his rucksack.

"Sam, you're going to have to call it in" said Chris quietly. "I won't be getting any stronger."

Sam grimaced. "It's too risky. I'll call for help when we're nearer."

Chris rose to his feet and groped for his friends arm. Sam stepped forward to steady him.

"It kills me to admit it Sammy but I can't walk another 18 miles like this and be in time for pickup. You know that too."

Sam shook his head and started to deny it but Chris interjected.

"If you come up with the line ‘then I'll carry you' I'm going to have to shoot you"

Sam smiled despite himself.

"Alright" he conceded "but I still don't want to use the comm. link until we're ready. Let's go about this another way."

Chris let out a sigh of relief.

"And what other way would that be - hail a cab?"

"Or steal a car"

Chris smiled wickedly.

"Sam, that's an excellent idea - why didn't you think about that sooner."

"I didn't want to attract attention until we were forced to. Besides, when have we ever done anything the easy way?"

Sam swung the rucksack around his shoulder and took Chris's elbow again.

"There are a couple of farms I can see further down the valley. I'll see that I can find. Let's move closer"

Again the set off, Sam patiently helping his disabled partner. On the valley floor he left Chris hidden in a grove of trees and warily made his way towards the farm buildings. Finding an old trabant he expertly hot-wired it and drove off. His crime went un-noticed and he was not stopped. Driving the old car to where he had left the American he parked up, out of sight of the road. His heart leapt into this mouth as he realised that there was no sign of Chris.

"Chris" he called warily "where are you?"

Chris's head appeared from behind some rocks recognizing the voice. Sam was pleased that even though Chris was disabled, his survival instinct was still going strong.

"I wasn't sure who it was" he said climbing to his feet "I just thought I'd make myself scarce. I take it your misspent youth has come up trumps again."

Sam chuckled.

"One of the best things that Manny taught me."

"That and breaking and entering"

"Oh right, yes that as well. We can't all be brought up in a world of wealth and privilege" he said grasping the American around his waist.

Chris slapped the Englishman on his back. "I bet you couldn't organise a dinner party for 300 guests?"

"Neither could you Chris."

Chris laughed. "That's what the butler was for. Now what type of transport have you got. Merc, BMW?"

Sam smiled. "Trabant" he admitted.

"Peachy" replied Chris miserably. "I hope it's the sport edition with suspension"

Helping Chris into his seat Sam noted the stiffness in his partner's movements.

"Are the painkillers wearing off?" he asked reaching for his bag.

Chris shook his head.

"I'm fine Sam. Just tired."

Sam studied his partner intently, his green eyes flashing with concern. Chris certainly wasn't fine. He could tell that his partner was in pain, cold and frightened and he tried to understand the feelings that Chris must be going through. The worry that his eyesight might be permanently damaged was unimaginable. He was putting on a brave face but Sam knew that Chris would have to pay for that eventually. What he didn't need was Sam fussing over him and he decided to give Chris some breathing space for the time being.

"Alright" he conceded "but let me know if it gets too bad. We'll still need you to be alert in case of trouble."

Chris nodded sensing Sam's concern.

"Are you ok to drive all the way? If you get too tired I can take over" he said with a grin.

Sam grunted "You couldn't drive any worse that you do when you can see. But no, I think I'll be ok thank you. It's you that needs the rest."

He started the car and drove slowly down the rutted track. Chris grimaced, this was definitely not the sports edition.

~*~

It took them quite a few hours to reach the pick-up point, using back roads and avoiding contact with other road users. Several times Sam had pulled the car off the road out of sight until trucks or cars had passed. Eventually, he pulled the car off the road and re-checked the sat-nav display. They were under a mile from the RV point and would need to complete the climb on foot. He turned to Chris who had been dozing. Shaking his shoulder he gently roused him.

"Time to wake up" he softly murmured. Seeing Chris struggle to his senses Sam reached over to the rucksack and pulled the painkillers out together with the flask of water. "Here Chris, take these pills. We've got about 3 hours until pickup."

Chris swallowed the pills without complaint. His eyes were really sore now and he knew that he needed the edge taken off his pain in case they were discovered. He heard Sam call in on the now activated comm. Link, briefly giving the required code that indicated they were in position. Getting an acknowledgement he immediately turned off the signal.

"Just a bit further Chris and then you can rest" said Sam shrugging on his coat. and helping the injured man out of the car. They climbed the last distance and found a sheltered spot to wait. Sam sat down next to Chris and put his arm around him for warmth. ‘I've been here before' he thought.

Chris shivered, the temperature had dropped rapidly after the sun had set and his wounds throbbed. He didn't think he'd ever get warm again. Feeling Sam's body move next to him he snuggled down into his friend's shoulder prepared for a long wait. Sam patiently sighed and pulled him closer, once again enjoying the proximity of the object of his desire. Checking his watch he saw that they had around two hours until midnight. Chris fell asleep quickly , his body shivering. Sam stoically held him, growing more concerned as the hours passed. A light rain had started to fall and soon they were both soaked. Sam kept alert, his eyes and ears continually scanning the surroundings. Although the comm. Link had only been briefly activated, he knew that if the signal had been scanned their enemies would know their approximate location.

It appeared however, that they were lucky as, at the arranged time, he heard the soft blades of a black hawk helicopter. It landed in the clearing opposite and Sam gathered the barely conscious American into his arms and carried him to the aircraft.

Chris briefly roused. "You ended up carrying me" he muttered before finally giving into this exhaustion. Strong arms took Chris away from Sam and helped him onto the aircraft. Soon they were over the border into Sweden and were finally safe.

~*~

The Doctor shined the pencil torch into each of his eyes disappointed to see no reaction in the pupils. Chris sensed the tension in the room.

"Can you see any light?" asked the Doctor, shining the torch directly into Chris's left eye.

"Don't you think I'd tell you if I did" he snapped impatiently.

The Doctor sighed and Chris immediately apologized "sorry Doc, it's just that I was hoping that there would be something by now"

He felt a comforting hand on his arm. "It's only been a few days Chris".

"But the swelling's almost gone down now. Why can't I see?"

"I know it's frustrating Chris but the corneas need time to heal. They are pretty badly blistered. You'll just have to be patient."

Chris sighed resignedly rising to his feet "That's easy for you to say. I'm not the kind of guy who has a lot of patience. Look, I feel ok - when can I get home?"

"Well I prefer you not to be at home alone. Have you got someone who can stay with you?"

"My partner Sam is used to being a nursemaid I suppose. I'll be ok in my own apartment. I'm a pretty resourceful kind of guy".

The doctor laughed "just not a patient patient"

Chris smiled and nodded his head in agreement.

"I'll ring your boss and clear it with him. If he agrees then I see no reason why you can't go home this afternoon."

Chris felt himself guided back to the bed and he lay down satisfied for the time being. He hated hospitals with their lack of privacy and everyone feeling that they had a right to prod and poke him at will. He needed to be in his own home. He wasn't feeling ill anymore, two days of rest had replenished his batteries and he had now got to the restless stage. He was worried about his sight. He had hoped that when the swelling went down he would be able to see something, if only a blur, but wherever he was it was covered in a curtain of black. He understood what the doctor had told him but he was finding it very difficult not to give into the panic that his eyesight was permanently damaged. He kept on thinking about how his life would change. Lying back, he closed his useless eyes - there was nothing else to do. Usually when he was recuperating Sam and his friends would make sure that he had a large supply of magazines and his gameboy to keep him occupied. He swallowed hard, his stomach in knots. If he was permanently blinded that would be another thing that would be excluded from him.

~*~

Sam glanced worriedly at the American. He was very quiet, too quiet for Chris, he mused. After accepting Sam's help to get into the car, Chris had made little conversation and Sam's attempts had been greeted by one word answers. Unable to read any expression on his friends face due to the heavy bandage around the damaged eyes, Sam decided to concentrate on the driving. He would give Chris some space and get him to open up when he got back home. After some debate it had been decided that Chris return to his own apartment, it being more familiar and therefore easier to navigate. Malone had given Sam two days off to help Chris settle.

Chris knew that he was making Sam uncomfortable but as soon as he had sat in the car, he realised that if he was permanently blind then he would never drive again and never look out of the windows and see the life of the city passing him by. His stomach tied itself in knots and he felt a lump form in his throat as the emotions threatened to overwhelm him. Sam had eventually gone quiet and Chris hoped that he had not upset him. ‘I'll be ok when I get home' he thought.

He felt the car slow and turn. It was very disorientating not being able to see and anticipate the corners and he felt a little nauseous. He was realising more and more what blind people had to cope with. Sam pulled into the parking space in front of Chris's building and turned off the engine.

"We're here" he said, turning to his passenger. "Chris are you ok?" he quickly asked, seeing his partner's pale face.

Chris turned towards Sam's voice with a small smile. I'm sorry, I'm just a little overwhelmed at the minute. Things I'll miss doing keep springing into my mind."

Sam frowned. "It's not permanent Chris. Don't think about it like that."

"That's easy for you to say Sam. I've got to think about the worse case scenario here. The doctor doesn't know how damaged my eyesight is."

He fumbled at his side and released the seatbelt. "Now, all I want to do is go home and try and get on with my life".

Sam gazed at his friend in concern. This was not going to be an easy few days If Chris's moods were as dark as this. " Alright Chris" he said simply.

Getting out of the car he walked around and opened the passenger door putting his hand on Chris's arm as he climbed out. "Let me help you".

Chris batted Sam's arm away as soon as they had entered the flat. Now he was on familiar ground he felt confident that he would be able to cope. Climbing up the stairs he walked towards the kitchen as he felt Sam hovering behind him.

"You've got to let me do as much as I can Sam. I've got to learn to cope. Now, how about a coffee? Ouch!" He had walked into the kitchen table.

Sam stepped forward in concern but seeing only Chris's pride was hurt , he hesitated. The American was going to have a lot of bumps and bruises before he finished. Leaning back against the doorframe he watched as Chris gathered himself together.

"Nice going there. I think your radar is a bit off. The coffee machine is a couple of steps to the right."

Chris cursed in frustration and took a couple of steps right, this time hitting his thigh on the worktop. Sam sighed and stepping forward put a hand on his partners shoulder.

"Why don't I make the coffee and then we can map out the flat so you know where everything is. If you tidied up some things I think it would help, otherwise you'll be falling over empty pizza boxes every 5 minutes." He steered the compliant American into one of the kitchen chairs.

"Sorry Sam, I'm being a pain in the butt " muttered Chris contritely.

Sam fiddled with the coffee machine for a minute and set it brewing before kneeling in front of his partner. He put his hands on the depressed man's knees.

"You've got to realise Chris that you can't do everything straight away. We'll get you sorted out but it's going to take a little time. I know you're frustrated but I'm here to help you as much as I can."

Chris smiled. "You're a good friend Sam. What did I do to deserve you?"

Sam smiled back, a little warm glow spreading through him.

"You know I like being a mother hen to you".

~*~

They soon settled into a routine and by the time Sam had to return to work Chris was mobile within the confines of the flat. All superfluous clutter had been cleared away and Chris had the clear routes filed away in his mind. He still fell into his depressions but Sam worked hard at keeping his spirits up and encouraged him to think on the bright side. The first day that Sam was back at work was frustrating for Chris but he managed to get through the day without skinning his knee on anything. It had been a reasonably warm early March day and he had opened the French doors and sat on the grass in the graveyard enjoying the fresh air. Later, Sam had returned with a Chinese takeaway and some Budweiser and they had spent a pleasant evening listening to music. TV held little interest to Chris now that he couldn't see any images.

They ended up sat together on the sofa each with a bottle of half drunk beer in their hands. Sam noticed that his companion had gone quiet.

"Are you worried about the hospital appointment tomorrow?" he asked quietly.

"No, not really. I'm not expecting much. The Doctor did say that it would take some time."

Sam looked into his friend's eyes - the bandages were now off, and those striking blue eyes that he loved so much were clouded by the pale blisters. Giving Chris's knee a tight squeeze he tried to comfort him.

"It's not like you to listen to a doctor."

Chris sighed. "This is something that I've got no control over. I can cope with bullet wounds, bruises, even torture but this is something so completely alien to me. Oh hell, listen to me whinging on again. I don't want to spoil the evening. I'm just tired of being worried. I've just got to get on with my life."

"Do you want me to stay tonight?" asked Sam

Surprised Chris turned his head towards his partner. "Of course I do - oh, if that's ok with you" he qualified hurriedly.

"Of course it is but I just thought that now you'd coped on your own today that I'd be outstaying my welcome."

"Never, I don't know how I'd have coped without you. I'd probably be dead at the foot of the stairs by now if you weren't here."

Sam laughed but then continued seriously "Though I'll have to leave you on your own sometime. What if I get called away on a mission?"

Chris grabbed at Sam's arm, folding his fingers around the hard muscle. "I just want you here now, tonight Sam. Let's worry about the future another day."

"You should take your own advice Chris. Don't worry about the future tonight."

Chris hesitated - was he sensing something more than the literal meaning of the words. He felt Sam rise to his feet.

"Another beer?" he asked.

Chris smiled, the tension broken. "Yeah please".

~*~

I'm sorry Mr Keel but there is nothing more we can do. We've done all the tests we can but I'm afraid they've all turned out negative."

Chris slumped in the chair.

"So there is no hope?" he whispered.

The Doctor sighed. "I'm sorry Mr Keel but the damage to your eyesight is permanent. You'll be blind for the rest of your life."

Chris let out an agonised "No o o o ….."

~*~

Sam awoke suddenly, disturbed by the anguished cry coming from the bedroom. "Chris?" he called, getting up and walking to the bedroom door. He saw that the American was in the throes of a nightmare. Crying out, tears falling from his eyes Chris tangled himself up in the duvet. Sam ran to the bed and shook him gently trying to rouse him. Shaking a little harder he called "Chris. Wake up, come on Chris."

Chris woke suddenly, his heart beating rapidly and Sam enveloped him in his arms cradling him as he sobbed. They stayed like that until eventually, the tears dried and Chris became aware of Sam gently running his fingers through his hair. He found that gesture very comforting and for a few moments basked in the feeling. However, he soon pulled away as he realised their position. Confused by his feelings he felt awkward. He knew that Sam was his closest friend and that they shared a bond which went beyond normal boundaries. Not surprising really as they had shared the bleak experience of the dark side of life and that sort of thing changed a man. However, over the last few weeks he had felt his feelings change and had looked at Sam through different eyes. He fantasized in quiet moments of kissing him and running his hands over those hard muscles. He hadn't dared to say anything though, scared of being rejected. He knew that Sam slept with women but sometimes he caught a look that made him unsure. Now, his partner had held him whilst he had cried and he felt ashamed of himself thinking sexual things whilst Sam was comforting him.

"That was a bad one hey?" murmured Sam looking into Chris's opaque blue eyes.

The American nodded and sniffed, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand embarrassed.

"Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?"

Chris shuffled uncomfortably so Sam moved away and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry Sam. I'm ok now"

"No you're not. I'm here Chris, please I want to help. You trust me don't you?"

The American looked up in shock.

"Yes of course I do"

"Fine, then trust me when I tell you that talking about it will help."

Chris shook his head slowly and a small smile curled his lips.

"I won't win this argument will I Sam?"

Sam returned the smile and shook his head before remembering that the American couldn‘t see the gesture. "Not tonight" he murmured.

Chris took a deep breath and told him about the nightmare.

"I was in the doctors office. He told me that he'd run all the tests that he could and the damage was permanent, that I'd have to live like this for the rest of my life." His voice broke into a sob as he remembered.

Sam instinctively reached an arm around him.

"Would it be so bad if it was?"

Chris leant into the warm embrace.

"Yes it would Sam. You know me, I can't stay still for 5 minutes. How am I going to cope. You know the job is my life. Without that I've got nothing."

"You've got me" Sam murmured. "If the worst happens we will get through this together. But I do think that you're worrying too much. As soon as the burns heal I'm sure everything will be fine." He hesitated "And if they don't, I won't leave you to cope on your own."

Chris felt the arm tighten around him. "Somehow, when you're here I don't feel so scared" he whispered.

"Let's forget about the future. Let's just live for today Chris."

Chris leant further into Sam's shoulder as he decided that he would take the risk. He couldn't envisage there ever being a better moment.

"I wish you'd always be here" he murmured, his stomach fluttering nervously.

Sam hesitated, was he reading too much into Chris's words.

"You'd soon be fed up of me mothering you" he said, giving himself a get out in case he was misreading the situation.

Chris shook his head, groping for the Englishman's hand.

"That's not what I mean. Sam, you know your friendship is the best thing that has happened to me for a long time but that's not enough for me any longer."

Sam frowned. "what the hell does that mean?" he demanded.

The American swallowed quickly.

"Sorry, that came out wrong. What I mean is that my feelings have changed towards you …. Oh God that sounds even worse."

Sam laughed now. Sometimes Keel could get so tangled up with his words when he was expressing his emotions.

"Just say it Chris"

"I love you - not just as a brother and …"

Chris pulled himself away as he heard Sam's sharp intake of breath.

"I'm sorry Sam. I hoped you'd feel the same way. Obviously, I've made a huge mistake. I'm …"

"Chris"

"Forget what I said. I just …"

"Chris!"

"I don't know what I was thinking. Hell, I've seen you with women - you're a red blooded male. Why would you want this…."

Sam stopped the American's babble with a firm slap on his knee.

"Chris, for god's sake shut up a minute!" he shouted loudly.

Chris stopped talking, shocked into silence by Sam's harsh cry.

"Chris" continued the Englishman, his voice softer now. "I'm sorry about the way I reacted but you just threw me there for a moment. If you knew how long I've dreamed of hearing you say that to me you'd understand."

"Huh?" gulped Chris intelligently.

Sam shook his head in affectionate amusement and took Chris's hand in his.

"It means that I love you too Chris and I have done for a long time. I just didn't think that you'd ever return my feelings. God Chris, you don't know how hard it's been being with you everyday and not being able to have you."

Chris let the tension release from his body and took a deep breath.

"I guess I've been blind longer than I thought. Why didn't you say anything?"

"And get a reaction like you just did? Christ Chris, when I found out that you'd been married I lost all hope. I decided that I at least had you as a friend and that would be enough."

"And it never was" more of a statement than a question from the American.

"No but I coped."

Chris thought back to isolated incidents over the last few months - a little look here, a touch there but there was nothing to suggest that Sam had any serious intentions towards him.

"Over the last few weeks I've realised how special you are to me. Yes, I was married and I have never thought of being with a man before but you're the only person since Annie that I've felt this way about. I miss you when you're not around and I cherish the time we spend together. I want, no I need to get closer to you."

"I want you to be sure of your feelings Chris. I know that you're vulnerable right now."

"I have never been more certain in my life. I love you, I love spending time with you and I want you in so many ways."

Sam smiled wickedly. "How many ways?"

Chris grinned back "As many ways as there are. I'm a willing student - are you a willing teacher?

Sam squeezed Chris's hand.

"I've been with men before when I was a lot younger. It's been a long time but I've sure I know what you need."

"I love you and I want you to make love to me. Is that what you've waited to hear?"

"Oh God yes Chris. Please can I kiss you?" Chris moved his hands to Sam‘s face, tracing the cheekbones with his thumb.

"I've never kissed a man before"

"It's like chocolate ice-cream or vanilla ice-cream - both different but both sweet".

Chris brought Sam's head towards him and they kissed, hesitantly at first but then opening up into a full passionate kiss. Breathless, they pulled apart.

"I wish I could see your face" murmured Chris.

"Are you ok?" asked Sam in concern.

"Yeah" sighed the American, pulling him into another kiss. At the same time he moved his fingers though Sam's glossy black hair. They both revelled in the sensations, holding, touching and kissing. Chris eventually became aware of Sam's arousal butting against his thigh, matching his own.

"Lay back Sam. Even if I can't see you, I can feel you." He pressed Sam backwards on the bed and straddled him, worshipping his body. He lay kisses from his neck to his flat hard stomach relishing the groans they produced. Finally, he eased Sam's silk boxer shorts down and pulled them off. Feeling all the time with his fingers he grasped Sam's shaft and lovingly examined it by touch. He felt Sam shift above him and he smiled.

"Who need's eyes Sam when you've got fingers and a mouth"

Sam cried out as Chris engulfed Sam's shaft with his hot mouth, his tongue swirling around the tip. Never having done this, Chris recalled what he had enjoyed being done to him and in no time at all Sam was a quivering heap, crying out his new lover's name as his hot seed flooded into Chris's mouth. Climbing back up Sam's body, Chris kissed him sharing his taste.

"God Chris, that was incredible" murmured Sam when he was able to speak.

He smiled "For a first time, I think that went ok"

Sam ran his fingers over Chris's face and pulled him into another kiss. "You are a natural Christopher Keel. Now it's payback."

Chris felt himself being turned onto his back and soon found himself in heaven as Sam expertly kissed and caressed his prostrate body. Having no sight actually made the experience more sensual. When Sam licked his shaft with long wet stokes he cried out in ecstasy and when he climaxed strongly he almost passed out with the incredible sensation.

"I love you Sam Curtis" he whispered as he felt Sam draw him into a strong embrace.

"I love you Chris Keel" he heard before his eyes closed and he fell asleep.

~*~

Sam woke up first and gazed down at his lover nestled within his shoulder as a feeling of completion surged through his body. This was what he had craved for months. He was incredibly lucky, he mused, to have Chris and he was ecstatic that his feelings had been reciprocated. Making love to Chris had seemed so natural and everything had worked out perfectly. Now all they needed to do was to get his eyesight sorted out and life would be perfect. Moving slowly, he eased himself out of bed and headed towards the shower. Even after all that happened last night, he still had to go to work. After showering, he prepared breakfast and took a coffee into Chris.

"Wake up, breakfast is ready?" he whispered close to his new lover's ear. Smelling the strong aroma Chris sat up and Sam guided his hand to it. Sipping it he smiled. "Was last night a dream?" he asked

Sam saw an opportunity for teasing.

"Last night?" he asked innocently. "Oh yes, you had a nightmare but went straight back to sleep. I heard you later, it sounded like a good dream."

Chris paled "Sam?" he whispered uncertainly.

He couldn't bear to see the American suffer so he took the coffee away from him and kissed him sweetly.

"Of course it wasn't a dream dopey. I love you Christopher Keel and you've made me one of the happiest men in the world."

Chris grinned in relief "I must have been good - I've melted the ice-man"

Sam hit his arm playfully.

"Though of course I'll have to shoot you if you tell anyone that."

Chris reached for the coffee again, his fingers gently butting the cup before he lifted it to his lips.

"I guess we should keep this between ourselves" he said quietly.

Sam frowned "I'm not sharing you with anyone"

Chris shook his head. "That's not what I meant and you know it".

Sam nodded, oblivious to the fact that the gesture was redundant in front of the blind man.

"Remember rule number one. Let's just enjoy it for now hey?"

Chris smiled "It'll be our little secret, through you do realise that it'll drive Backup mad until we tell her"

Sam rose up from the bed "We'll worry about that another day."

Chris took another sip of coffee.

"Are you ready for work?"

"Nearly. Do you want to get up or stay in bed?"

"Are you coming back to bed?" replied the American saucily.

"No. Someone has to be a bastion of justice"

"Then I may as well get up"

Sam helped his partner up and directed him towards the bathroom.

~*~

Chris stepped under the shower, soaping and rinsing himself, enjoying the warmth. He heard Sam humming to himself in the kitchen and smiled. He felt fulfilled and happy. If only he could get his eyesight sorted out then life would be just about perfect. He'd felt close to Sam for so long it but hadn't realised until last night the depth that his feelings had been reciprocated. It had seemed so natural when he had made love to the dark Englishman. ‘Shit' he thought ‘I've just slept with a man for the first time in my life'. He couldn't escape the fact however that it didn't feel wrong. In fact it felt incredibly right. He was annoyed with himself that it had taken him so long to realise. Hell, he was a trained observer - how had he not picked up the clues? There again, when Sam Curtis wanted to keep a secret there was no chance of anyone getting behind the barriers.

He heard him call something but didn't hear what he said. Sam popped his head round the door jamb. "I said, what time is your hospital appointment?"

"Sorry Sam, I didn't hear you. 3.45pm this afternoon. It's ok, you don't need to come."

"I'll pick you up at 3.00pm. See you later."

Chris grinned as he heard the door shut. Sam was in mother-hen mode again. Or was it caring lover mode? That thought pulled him up short. Was it going to be fair on Sam to have to look after him if he was blind. He would be restricted in a lot of things and how long for it take for the relationship to founder under the constant pressure and stress and ultimate resentment of the limitations. If he was blind then his life at CI5 was over. There was no way he could cope with a desk job and the thought of waiting back at home whilst Sam was out there without him to watch his back was too terrible to comprehend.

Chris mentally slapped himself, the relationship was barely hours old and he was already worrying. Sam was the thinking half of the partnership, Chris always expressed a "live and let live" attitude. Sam would be stressing out already - they didn't need two of them doing it. "Be positive Keel" he muttered to himself.

Sighing heavily, he clumsily dropped the soap in the shower tray and he immediately bent to pick it up. The last thing he needed was to slip on it and break his neck. He felt around until his fingers closed on it but something made his senses alert. There was something that had passed in front of him. Moving his head slowly, the object moved again. Confused, he concentrated. In the dark curtain of his eyesight there was something - a lightening of the darkness. Again moving his head, he watched it as it moved from right to left and with he heart beating strongly, he felt his way around the shower stall, mapping exactly where the light was coming from.

He finally realised that it was coming from the small window and whooped in joy as he realised that he could see the square of light. He wasn't blind, he just couldn't see - his vision was starting to return. Swinging his head from side to side he could definitely make out the direction of the light source.

~*~

It has been a long recovery. Chris was finally passed fit for active duty again nearly 3 months after the mission to Estonia. His eyesight had returned gradually but was now 100% perfect and he had a Doctors note to prove it. Their relationship had grown from strength to strength, their opposing personalities causing no major obstacles and they had fallen into a natural routine. No-one at work knew of the depth of their relationship - as far as everyone was concerned they were still only close friends and partners. If anyone queried them not having any girlfriends, Chris knew that Sam would merely point out that they had spent a lot of time together helping Chris on the road back to fitness. He was happy with that.

The day before Chris was due back on duty they had gone to see Malone and had informed him of the change in their circumstances. Malone, to their surprise, had taken the news reasonably well and having been assured that if their relationship ever put a mission at risk they would both be dismissed, he had given them his blessing. In fact, he had said that the was glad that they had such a close partnership and that, as long as they remembered the first rule, there was nothing to stop them from continuing to be his best team.

Chris was glad to be back and literally was bouncing with enthusiasm as he entered the CI5 ops room.

"He's glad to be back then?" asked Backup, looking up at Sam, having just extricated herself from a Keel special hug.

Sam nodded, a small amused smile twisting his lips.

"Yes, the crazy yank is back" he murmured giving her arm a squeeze.

"Hallelullah" laughed Backup "It's been too quiet round here"