Reece was still pouting but he brightened up when Cooper came in. He'd never admit it but he'd missed Cooper like crazy since he'd been gone. He had written several letters but after reading them he was disgusted by how mushy they sounded and he'd ripped them violently into shreds in embarrassment. They always sounded so desperate to him, like the person that wrote them really wanted a father or something and Reece hated that. He was nine years old, for pete's sake, not some baby that needed a man around to help him with his models and to talk about planes and to play with and to keep the AIs out from under the bed. And so what if Billy Dunmoore's father had taken him to an air show exhibition in the next town? Madi or Lucas would do that if he asked them to. It was just…. he kinda thought it would really be fun if Cooper could take him and tell him about the planes and Cooper could wear his uniform and Billy would be green with envy.

Reece popped out of his daydream of glory to find a very ill looking Cooper staring expectantly at him. He cleared his throat and sat up straight - then he tried on an innocent little smile for Cooper's benefit but that only made the marine narrow his eyes in suspicion so Reece reverted to his usual serious expression. He had his spiel all ready when suddenly without any warning the words just jumped out and to Reece's horror they sounded very much like a desperately childish plea instead of the smooth sales pitch he'd practiced all the way here.

"Cooper, we need you cause Madi's not going to get to adopt the twins cause she's not a tank and cause she's not married and somebody else is gonna get 'em and I'll never see them again and who'll sleep with Kelsey when she has bad dreams and we can't ever tell Madi I told you cause she'll kill me cause we're supposed to handle our own problems and not worry you cause you have to concentrate on not getting killed in the war but I don't think even Madi can pull this off."

Cooper dropped down on one knee in front of the chair that Reece sat in and held up his hand to stop the flow with a laugh. "Whoa! Reece, I can't even understand you, you're talkin' too fast. Now slow down and let's go over this one thing at a time. Start with the part about Madi not being a tank first."

Reece took a deep breath and scooted to the edge of the chair. He tried to get hold of himself and be professional about this, but he'd been so worried and Madi had forbidden him to tell the one person in the world that Reece thought could help them. "The judge said that under the new InVitro rights provisions he has to take into account any InVitros who might want to adopt InVitro orphans before he can give them to Natural Borns. Then he looked at Mom's file and said that she wasn't even married and how did she expect to raise all these kids alone with no husband?"

Cooper was taking in everything that Reece said and wondering why Madi hadn't told him she'd been going through all this while he'd been away. He wasn't laughing anymore. Her letters had been cheerful and upbeat and she'd sent some drawings from Reece and some letters from the girls but not one word of this had been mentioned.

"What did Madi say?"

"She told him she had managed just fine so far and that lots of men and women were raising children single-handedly since their partners had died in the war but he didn't look too convinced to me. He kept saying that Madi looked awful young to take on that kind of responsibility. Lucas made her sit down before she got mad and really screwed things up."

"Lucas knew about this too?" Cooper felt like he'd been hit by a board. Did Madi not trust him or had she just been blowing him off about sharing her kids? Reece nodded sympathetically.

"Tee knew too. I tried to tell 'em all we had to tell you." Reece was unbelievably relieved to be unburdening himself at last and he was talking up a storm. "I knew you were waiting for me to tell you it was okay now for you to marry Madi - but, no, they wouldn't listen to me. Mom just kept saying 'we can't bother Cooper'. She's scared to death you'll be worrying about us and fly into an asteroid or something. You know how she is." Cooper nodded. He knew exactly how she was - stubborn and mule-headed, the exact things she accused him of being. At least he now understood her reluctance to tell him about the girls even if it did piss him off that she'd kept it from him. He wondered if she'd ever have told him about this if she'd got it straightened out on her own and decided they needed to have a talk about communication.

"Where are the twins now?" Reece was a little concerned at how grim Cooper had become. The last time he'd seen that expression Cooper had put the fear of god into the head master at Reece's school.

"Blaine has them. Mom's still their foster parent but that could change anytime. You've got to get Mom to marry you Cooper. It's the only way we can all be a family."

Cooper looked at Reece hard when he said those words. Reece was watching him intently trying to see if he was getting his point across. "Is that what we'll be, Reece? A family?" Cooper still sounded very suspicious and Reece nodded enthusiastically to convince him.

"It could work, Cooper. I'll be good. Remember when you said we could blend?" Reece suddenly faltered in his attempt to convert Cooper into the role of father and husband. "You did mean what you said, didn't you Coop? That we could blend and all stay together?" Cooper saw the fear that Reece was trying to hide and he dropped his gruff attitude. He reached over and ruffled the boy's hair in a reassuring manner.

"Yeah, I meant it, kid." He smiled and felt his chest swell a little at Reece's relieved look. Though he knew not to let it go to his head, he liked the fact that Reece was looking at him as if he could fix this whole mess. Being Reece's hero was a new role and Cooper couldn't help liking the sensation - he just hoped he didn't let him down. "So now I guess we have to get Madi to marry me, huh?" Once he said the words out loud Cooper felt his own confidence sink a great deal. In all of his practice runs at asking her he'd been a complete flop. The most he'd ever been able to force out had been 'Uh, Madi, will you …' before his throat had closed completly up.

Reece nodded, mollified that the burden of this disaster was finally on someone else's bigger shoulders. It would have touched Cooper to know that like any normal kid, Reece had discounted anyone being able to solve the dilemma except the person that he now secretly pretended was his 'dad'. Though Madi, Lucas, and Tee had all assured him that they would work something out, Reece wouldn't be comforted. Cooper, he had insisted, should be told. Cooper would fix this and the girls would be adopted in no time and Reece had spent every spare moment devising ways to get to the news to Cooper. Not even in his wildest plans had he actually planned to deliver his distressing message in person though. Reece decided it was a good sign that things had worked out so well so far but figured he'd better keep Cooper on his toes.

"Yeah, and you'd better not screw it up, Cooper. If you mess up and Madi won't marry you, I'll never see my sisters again. Do you have a book or something you could read to tell you how to do this right? Or maybe we need to get that other marine in here, that West guy, and see if he's got any ideas. He got some girl to marry him, he must know something about it."

Cooper smiled at that, it seemed his hero phase was over since Reece was back to looking at him like he didn't think he had a snowball's chance in hell of pulling this off with what little talent he had to work with. He figured he'd give the kid something else to worry about and he knew just the thing. "Well, let's take first things first, Reece. Right now we're gonna go get your mom and tell her who decided to show up for dinner." Just as he'd suspected, Cooper's words shut Reece up instantly and the look on his face was worth a million dollars. But since Cooper was determined to learn this parenting stuff, he waited until he was following a hesitant Reece on his way to Madi's room to laugh to himself.

Madi was no more pleased to see Reece than McQueen or Cooper had been. In fact that was an understatement. As she told him in no uncertain terms, the last thing she needed to deal with right now was a spoilt nine year old who couldn´t even be trusted to stay in one place.

“You promised me, Reece. Remember? After the last time you promised me that you wouldn´t run away again!”

“I wasn´t running away,” protested Reece. “I was running to.” The distinction was lost on Madi. She was almost speechless with rage. Not only was Reece now standing in the middle of a war zone, but once more he´d disobeyed her regardless of the consequences, and had left the girls on their own. And what would the judge say now? He´d hardly let her have two more children if she couldn´t control the one she had. She just stood and glared at him. She didn´t trust herself to say anything to him. She knew how much the twins meant to him, and she didn´t want to lay any guilt trips on him.

It was Thursday who took charge of the situation. “Reece,” she said. “Sit. Madi calm down. He´s here, and much as we wish he wasn´t, Cooper is right. There´s very little we can do about it right now. Reece, wipe that smug look off your face. I said that there was very little we can do about it right now. We´re just saving it up for you, honey, and believe me, one of your mom´s lectures has nothing on one of mine. She is capable of restraint, especially where you are concerned. I am not.”

Reece sat, more than a little subdued. He´d known that Thursday was going to be with his mom, but he didn´t know she was going to be sticking to her like glue. He´d avoided Thursday strenuously after the incident with Samuel back on earth. She still gave him the creeps a little, and he knew his mom wasn´t pleased about that. He´d noticed a distressing tendency for Madi to be more vocal about things she didn´t like recently. He´d like to put it down to Cooper´s influence, but he was smart enough to realise that she was now becoming smart to him and his tricks. So he guessed that the honeymoon was over.

Thursday was still talking. “Cooper, I suggest you have a word with someone to arrange a room for Reece. I doubt that Colonel McQueen has got round to that yet.”

“Can´t I stay with Mom?” Reece interrupted.

“No,” replied Thursday without skipping a beat. “She´s going to be busy. Madi, I suggest you do something about arranging some clean clothes for Reece. A bath would be nice too.”

“I don´t need a bath!” protested Reece.

“Yes, you do. Cooper, when you´ve spoken to McQueen, get back here, we have work to do. Reece, stay. Do not move. Do not even think about moving. This ship is not your personal playground. If McQueen catches you, he´ll probably throw you in the brig, and I for one will wholeheartedly support him in that decision. And your mom is going to be too busy to bail you out. Understood?”

Reece nodded mutely. He really wished Lucas was here. Lucas he could deal with. Lucas never lost his temper with Reece, no matter what he did. And Lucas wouldn´t have threatened to have him clapped in irons. Well, he might, but he wouldn´t do it. While Reece thought that Thursday was just looking for an excuse.

“Where´s Lucas?” he asked trying to sound as innocent as possible. Where Thursday was, Lucas was usually somewhere near. Maybe Lucas would help him out here. However, the effect of his simple question on the room was electric. He watched as the colour drained completely from Thursday´s face.

“Reece,” said Cooper, trying to figure out how to put this. “Lucas, he´s in trouble.” He glanced at Thursday for support. She ignored him, but Madi nodded slightly. “That´s why your mom and Tee are here. The three of us are going to try and get him out of trouble...”

“And that means you have to stay out of the way!” Thursday interjected, the colour coming back into her cheeks in a rush. Madi shushed her, looking nervously between Reece and Cooper. Reece had his entire concentration fixed on Cooper´s face.

“What kind of trouble?” he asked, as focused as always. He knew instinctively that Cooper wouldn´t lie to him - no matter how much he might want to.

“He was on his way to the Saratoga when the ISSCV, the shuttle, he was on was intercepted.....”

“Intercepted?”

“Captured.”

“Was it Chigs?” Reece wanted to know. Cooper glanced once more at Thursday and Madi before replying.

“No, Reece. It wasn´t Chigs.”

“It was AIs, wasn´t it?” Cooper´s slight nod was all the confirmation Reece needed. And it was all that was needed to bring back the nightmares he´d had ever since Samuel. Cooper didn´t know whether it was the stress of the last day, or whether for some reason he was becoming attuned to Reece, but he picked up the boy´s fear immediately. He wasn´t surprised. He still had his own nightmares about Scotland.

He knelt down next to the boy, and took hold of his face in his hands, forcing Reece to look at him. Once again he was surprised at just how small Reece was. “Reece,” he said. “Remember what I said in Scotland? I´m not going to let anything happen to you. AIs or no AIs. Okay?”

Reece looked at him, hard, for a moment or two. “You´re going to get Lucas back, aren´t you?” Cooper nodded again. “Okay,” said Reece, even more subdued.

“Now,” said Cooper, clearing his throat, a little embarrassed at the fact that Reece was now looking at him as though he held the solutions to all of life´s problems, “I agree with Thursday. You definitely need a bath.”

“I´ll take him,” interrupted Madi. Cooper gave her a strange look. He knew something was wrong, he just couldn´t figure out what. Reece was giving him prompting looks.

“Uh, Madi,” he said, trying to ignore Reece´s facial expressions, which were not exactly subtle. “I need to talk to you.” Madi looked flustered.

“Not now, Cooper. Maybe later.” Cooper narrowed his eyes at her. Something was very definitely wrong. Before he had a chance to probe further, she bustled her son out of the room and she was gone. Cooper was left looking at Thursday in puzzlement. Now what?

He watched concerned as Thursday slumped down onto her bunk. He had no idea what to say to her, but he had the feeling that he ought to say something. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. Thursday glanced at him and smiled a little ruefully.

“I guess this is a turn up for the books, huh?” she said, her accent coming out a little stronger than usual due to her exhaustion. She sighed and stretched. “Cooper,” she added, “I don´t mean to nag and this probably isn´t the right time, but you and Madi are going to have to do something about that child.” Cooper shifted even more uncomfortably.

“Thursday....” he began.

“I know, I know,” she interrupted him. “Its really none of my business.” He wanted to tell her that as far as he was concerned she could make it her business. He felt that he would need all of the help he could get when it came to Reece, only he didn´t think that Madi would feel the same way. She seemed even more proprietorial about Reece than she did about him. Before he could begin to put this into words, she interrupted his train of thought again, her voice softer. “Lucas would be mad at me for even trying to intervene.”

The mention of Lucas threw a gloom over the proceedings once more. Cooper desperately racked his brain to think of a way to change the topic. Finally he latched on one.

“How come you and Luke never had kids?”

Wrong choice. He could tell that from the way her eyes darkened briefly in pain before she recovered and cocked one eyebrow at him. He was getting much better at picking up the subtleties in people´s expressions now. Like the way she was currently giving him her ‘Reece´ look. Cooper recognised it well. Only thing was, he couldn´t understand why Reece would ever do anything wrong ever again after one of those looks. He doubted he would. He racked his mind again for a way gracefully out of this. Hell, he´d take any way, graceful or not.

“That´s really none of your business, Cooper.”

“Okay, that´s fine,” he babbled, grateful for the narrow escape. “I was just.... you know.... making conversation.” Her look never wavered.

“You know Cooper, if you´re going to insist on ‘making conversation´ you need to learn not to ask questions that invade people´s privacy.” He scowled at her. He hated being lectured. He barely tolerated it from Vansen and McQueen. And Lucas always had the good sense to stay just this side of lecturing, even if he did piss him off sometimes.

“I didn´t realise you were so touchy about it,” he snapped.

“I am not touchy about it,” she snapped back. “It´s just.... private!”

“Fine!”

“Good!” He settled on the bed next to her, still scowling, casting less than subtle glances at her every so often while he stewed. Finally he sighed.

“I´m sorry,” he apologised, a bit sullenly. “I didn´t mean to pry.”

“And I didn´t mean to snap. I´m just a little...”

“Touchy?” he asked innocently. She gave him a hard look, before relaxing ruefully and laughing a little.

“I guess I might be a little... touchy,” she admitted, a ghost of a smile playing around her mouth.

“I guess I might have been a little....”

“Nosy?” she suggested, equally innocently. He grew mockingly indignant.

“I was going to say inquisitive,” he explained.

“Big word,” she teased.

He grunted. “Must have been hanging ‘round with these computer geeks I met for too long. Must be starting to sound like ‘em - you know, big words and all.”

“Must have been,” she agreed. There was another long silence, more comfortable this time, before she sighed loudly once more.

“If you must know, I don´t think Lucas really wants kids. Not everybody does you know.” Cooper didn´t know. He tried to imagine what his life was like before the girls and Reece. It had only been a few short months, and he´d only spent a few short weeks with them, but he couldn´t. It seemed like he´d always had those strange hieroglyphic pictures the girls sent him stuck in his footlocker. He didn´t have the courage yet to put them up by his bunk. He still felt like he had no right to, and besides, he thought the new ‘Cards would laugh at him if he was so presumptious as to try. Maybe once he and Madi were official....

Madi. He wondered what had got into her now. He glanced sideways at Thursday. She was lost in her own thoughts, shutting him out, but she seemed calm enough. Maybe if he asked Phousse or Shane to come sit with her for a while, just in case, he could go and find out whatever was buggin´ Madi.

“Tee, you going to be okay for a bit?” Her eyes grew distant for a second.

“They´ve drugged him again,” she reported. “He´s not asleep but he´s not talking much either. I don´t think there´s going to be much we can do for the next few hours.”

“I´m goin´ to look for Madi, ‘kay? You can yell if you need me.” She nodded briefly, before returning to her own dark thoughts once more. With one last backwards glance he left.

~*~

It took Cooper the rest of the day to catch up with Madi, and she was less than cooperative. "If you want to keep that hand, I suggest you get it off me right now, Hawkes. I told you I´m too busy to have a talk right now." she snarled.

Cooper continued pulling her down the passageway, regardless of Madi's glare and threats until they reached her wardroom where he opened the door and practically tossed her into the room. He´d been trying to talk to her all day, and it was obvious that she was avoiding him. For a minute he was terrified that she´d had some inkling about what he wanted to talk to her about, and was avoiding him so she didn´t have to say no.

"Shut up, Madi. I'm not hurtin' you. I'm really pissed at you right now and you don't need to push me." Cooper followed her in, pulled out the desk chair, then took her arm again to pull her over and plop her down in it before dropping to his knees in front of her. Madi immediately tried to get back up but Cooper firmly pushed her back down with a hand in the middle of her chest.

"Cooper, I don't appreciate being manhandled by you at all. Now you let me up from here right now."

"Forget it. I tried to do this your way and you've avoided me and given me the run around all day. Now we're gonna do it my way and if it's not as nice as you like that's just too damn bad." Cooper took deep breaths to keep calm. He wasn't going to hurt Madi but he wasn't going to be ignored either.

"Now you tell me, Madi, what's wrong?" She refused to look at him, staring at the floor until he raised her face up to his with a finger under her chin. She stubbornly resisted him a minute before finally raising her blue-green eyes to his. Cooper's heart clenched at the pain in her eyes that she couldn't hide from him anymore and he raised his hands and gently framed her face with them.

"Madi, baby, what's the matter? Please tell me - you know I can't figure it out myself - you'll have to tell me."

Madi felt tears well up in her eyes at his sudden gentleness and at the endearment. Cooper rarely used them and every time he did he melted her heart. She tried to blink the tears away but all the misery of the past few days seemed to catch up with her at one time and they ran silently from the corners of her eyes to wet his hands. Cooper just wiped at them periodically with his thumbs and patiently waited, cajoling her a bit to get to the heart of the matter, like he always had to with Reece.

"Have I done somethin' to hurt you? Did Reece talk to you? Did he tell you he told me about the twins? Did he tell you I was goin´ to ask you to marry me? Is that it? Did McQueen finally convince you that you could do a lot better than me?" He was only halfway joking about that. Madi jerked her eyes back to his at that and stared at him in disbelief. This she hadn´t expected. Gently she raised her hand to his face.

"No! It's not that, Cooper, and stop talking like that. I don't deserve you. McQueen is right about the prejudice but it doesn't matter either. It hurts, but not having you would hurt me more." Cooper nodded, relieved that McQueen hadn't got to Madi but her next words cancelled that relief.

"But he is right about one of the things he told me, Cooper. It's not fair to you to take on all this responsibility. It´s why I didn´t want you to know about the adoption problems. There's so much you haven't done yet and I can't take your freedom. It would be too selfish of me and I won't do it. I'm sorry I've been avoiding you all day but I needed time to sort things out and I can't think clearly when I'm with you." Madi hurried to finish before he could interrupt her. "We don´t have to get married, Cooper. We can still be together for as long as you like, we don't have to be married for that. Lucas thinks I can win the adoption suit if I move back home where the courts are more lenient. This way we can be together but you can still do everything you want to do."

Cooper kept calm with a tremendous effort, fighting a raging battle against all the emotions assaulting him at one time. Reece was right. He had to think clearly and find the words to convince Madi that they were meant to be together. He knew this wasn´t an ideal proposal, but he´d been so worried he´d blurted the words out before he´d had time to think. He took a deep breath and started speaking, hoping that something, anything, he said would reach her.

"Madi, first of all, being alone is not being free. It's lonely and it's cold and I don't feel free - I feel caged in by it. The second thing is this ceremony stuff. I know I miss a lot, but one thing I've noticed about natural borns is how much significance they place on ceremonies and certificates. A piece of paper and some words don't really mean anything except in a legal sense. Madi, I'm already joined to you in my heart, those words and that paper will just make it easier for us to adopt the girls." He stopped a moment as she put her hand to her mouth to hold in a sob then continued.

He hoped these words were the right ones - it was so hard for him to tell her how he felt. "Inside me, Madi, you're already mine, these kids - our kids, and I think you feel the same. Just because you won't go through some ceremony with me isn't going to change the way we feel. And, Mad, those things that I might want to do, they wouldn't be any fun without you anyway. There's a lot of things I think of doing and seeing if I get out of this war alive but you're always there with me when I imagine them. So I guess the question is, do you feel the same way?"

Madi's breath hitched in her throat as she took in everything that Cooper was telling her. She was so torn between what she wanted more than anything in the world and what was best for Cooper and the children.

"It's not that I don't want to marry you, Cooper, it's just that I'm afraid."

"Madi, you're not afraid of anything." She struggled to speak around the huge lump in her throat.

"I'm afraid you'll wake up one day and see me and these three kids as a big rock tied around your neck and that you'll be sorry you ever agreed to any of this, that you'll be sorry you ever laid eyes on me." Cooper smiled ruefully and waggled her head back and forth a little.

"You know, Mad, this reminds me of that weird bus conversation we had one time, remember?"

Madi shook her head, her confusion at his sudden change of topic showing in her eyes. "You told me you were afraid to love me because I could get killed and we finally decided you could get hit by a bus just as easily. Remember now?" Madi smiled a little through her tears and nodded. "And you loved me anyway and that turned out pretty good, didn't it?" She swallowed hard and smiled more as she nodded, loving Cooper was the sweetest thing that had ever happened to her in her life. "So what happens if you wake up one morning and look at me and those kids and our new kids and you feel that rock?" Madi smoothed her hand along his cheek and slid her fingers into his soft hair and Cooper knew he'd won.

"Cooper Hawkes, I will love you until the day I die." Cooper felt his whole body relax in relief and he ran his hands down her arms to take both of Madi's small hands into his, absently noting the contrast between their size. He could crush her delicate bones yet she had the power in those hands to heal him with a forgiving touch or drive him insane with desire and he wondered who was truly the stronger.

"Madi Gibson, I will love you until the day I die and I want you to marry me and let me help you raise these kids. I want us to be a family, Madi, a real, legal family that no one can tear apart. Will you?"

Madi smiled at him with so much love in her eyes that Cooper had to look away. No matter that he knew it or how many times she told him, it always humbled him that someone like Madi could love him - Cooper Hawkes, dumb, surly, ignorant tank.

"Yes, I will marry you, Cooper, and I hope you know what you're getting into. We'll be a family and I want more babies, your babies this time. That is what you mean by new kids, right?”

Cooper nodded, grabbing her and pulling her onto his lap for a hard kiss, grinning like crazy. "You can have all the babies you want, Madi, as soon as we get out of this damn war."

Madi felt like a load of bricks had been lifted off her chest and now that the decision had been made she was almost giddy with relief. If she was being selfish then so be it. She should have known she could never really give him up, even if it was for his own good. She'd just have to make sure he never had reason to regret their decision. She ran both hands up his neck, skimming her fingertips over his navel and smiling at the shivers of desire that ran through his body. "No babies until then?" Madi wheedled.

Cooper shook his head firmly. "No. No babies ‘til I get back to help you with them. Stop looking at me like that Madi. I mean it. I'd go crazy here worrying about you alone and pregnant with my kid back on Earth. You've got plenty to keep your hands full until then. The war's not going to last much longer, a year at the most with people like Lucas involved so heavily in it." Madi smiled but said nothing and Cooper decided he'd best be on his guard. He didn't trust Madi an inch when she had that gleam in her eye.

"So when are we going to have this legal ceremony?" Cooper slid her off his lap and jumped to his feet, pulling her up after him.

“As soon as we get Lucas back." He smiled and leaned down to kiss her bright red nose - she looked so cute. "Why don't you get cleaned up and get Reece sorted out. I got to go and talk to McQueen." Madi nodded, some of the sparkle fading from her eyes at the mention of McQueen. Cooper moved quickly back to her and pulled her to him for a hard, hot kiss. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and ran her fingertips lightly over his navel, smiling to herself as he groaned and pressed her closer.

Madi pulled her mouth away long enough to whisper "What's the rush, cowboy? It's still early." She had the satisfaction of feeling his hands slide down her back and over her bottom, gathering her close enough that she could feel how aroused he was. For good measure she pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his neck, right under his ear lobe. He loved it when she did that and he moaned out loud and used the hand buried in her hair to guide her mouth back to his. His tongue plunged into her mouth, mating desperately with hers and Madi met him thrust for thrust. He gasped for air as he pulled his mouth off hers and looked down into her slumberous eyes.

"Why Madi Gibson, are you trying to distract me?"

“Hmm mmm. Is it working?” she breathed. He released her reluctantly.

“I can´t, Madi, much as I want to. And I really want to. But I got to go talk to McQueen, and then I got to get back to Tee. I don´t want to leave her on her own.” Madi nodded. She was being selfish. Cooper was right. There´d be enough time for that after they got Lucas back.

“Okay, then,” she sighed, giving him another hot look. “Later.” She watched him leave with one backwards look, and then went to deal with her prodigal son.

Trail of Tears Part 6
 Trail of Tears
Part Six
Disclaimer

"It's open." McQueen's muted voice came through the metal hatch and Cooper took a deep breath before entering his commanding officer's quarters. His right hand kept clenching and unclenching into a fist almost automatically as he tried to fight the shyness and anxiety that always assailed him when he had to talk to the Colonel by himself. He always did better when he could fade into the group and he wished the Wildcards were here with him for backup. Cooper stepped through and stood at attention. "Sir, permission to speak with you privately, sir?"

McQueen looked in surprise from where he sat studying the recon photos of Smyrnas he'd received earlier. Damn. If Hawkes was bothering to follow protocol it was going to be bad. The young marine looked a little green and he hoped if Cooper decided to be sick he would make it to the head. "Permission granted. At ease, Lieutenant."

Cooper dropped into a more casual parade rest but still didn't completely relax. This wasn't going to be one of those Kodak moments like they showed on the Commercial Channel.

"What's on your mind, Cooper?" McQueen almost winced when he saw Cooper's chin go up in his defiant pose. Gibson. Had to be. Even suspecting that he wasn't prepared.

"I'm getting married, sir, and I wanted you to be the first to know." McQueen tried to control the white-hot anger that surged through him at the news. He knew the best strategy was to keep cool and play it loose. A lot of things could happen before this war was over and he'd used the time he had after Gibson left to try to talk some sense into the boy. Divide and conquer was an ancient strategy but it was still very effective.

"Congratulations, Cooper. Anyone I know?" McQueen forced a friendly, teasing note into his voice and tried to unclench his teeth but the muscles in his jaw wouldn't cooperate.

A ghost of a smile flitted across Cooper's face at that and he was disgusted to feel his ears get hot as he blushed.

"Yes, sir." He answered shyly. Cooper sneaked a look at McQueen's face and the smile faded. He'd taken the news way too well and Coop was thrown a little off balance. It couldn't be this easy, not with McQueen.

Ty nodded. "Well, thank you for telling me." Ty couldn't think of any of those socially acceptable words people said at a time like this but didn't worry about it since Cooper wouldn't know them either. The words he wanted to use, 'Are you crazy!?' didn't seem appropriate. "When you set a date come and talk to me. We'll see about getting you and the rest of the squad some leave. I hope the war will have ended and you'll be finished with your education by that time."

Cooper was beginning to see the problem and both hands clenched behind his back.

"Sir, we, uh… we want to… that is… we want to get married on board the Saratoga – before Madi goes back to Earth." McQueen's head snapped up at that and Cooper braced himself for the storm. He wished desperately for a shovel – for once in his short, claustrophobic life he would have gladly dug a foxhole straight through the steel floor and jumped in it.

When he heard McQueen's raised voice, the Paymaster moved away in resignation. He'd been waiting in the passageway for his turn to see McQueen after the tank kid. From the sound of the ruckus in there the colonel wouldn't be fit company for at least another week. He spared an unusual moment of pity for the tank bastard that McQueen was reaming out and went to see Ross instead.

~*~

Glen Ross finally found his friend in the gym abusing a punching bag for all it was worth. The area was usually deserted this time of night and Ross made a note to get down there more himself. Though he knew he heard him approach, McQueen ignored him. He had a look on his face that Glen knew well and he waited patiently until the younger man worked out his frustration and finally turned to him. Sweat poured off his face and body and Ross threw him a couple of towels from where he sat on a weight bench. McQueen nodded his thanks and after getting a mouthful of water from his bottle sat down across from the Commodore.

"Glen. Don't see you down here much."

"I've just made a resolution to come by more often as I watched, but right now I came looking for you." He held out a handful of envelopes to McQueen. They were all addressed to Madison Gibson on Earth and had been returned to the Saratoga in the last mail shipment, each envelope covered with a mass of return stamps in assorted shades of colored ink. McQueen's eyes questioned him. "The Paymaster brought those by my office, seems he stopped by your quarters first but you were… busy." Ross left out what the man had reported but he was curious. Something had McQueen riled and he'd bet his last bottle of rum it had to do with Madi Gibson. McQueen leafed through them again checking the dates on each. They had been mailed from the bursar's office and he had a suspicion he knew what he'd find if he opened them and he felt a stab of guilt.

"Why did he bother you with this? He should have returned them to Hawkes."

Ross's voice held a world of weariness, he was so tired of the prejudice he found in every form towards InVitros. When would people learn they were just human like everyone else – some good and some bad? "For the same reason, I found out, that he brings you the boy's payslips each month. He's afraid of Hawkes because he's an InVitro and he's heard they're all crazy and violent. In this instance he told me he didn't want the tank kid tearing his head off because they got the address wrong. He thought you might handle the situation better and since you were busy he brought it to me. I chewed him out over it but I don't think it had much effect because his fears are real. For what's it worth, he seems to think you're safe." Ty nodded.

"Makes me right misty-eyed. Don't worry about it and thanks for bringing them to me. I'll give them to Hawkes and tell him to go down and straighten it out."

Glen took advantage of the moment to delve a bit. "So the boy's been sending Madi some of his pay?" Ty nodded grimly. "Sounds serious. My buddies told me they knew I was a goner when I stared sending my poker money home to my girl." Ty fixed him with an exasperated look, his friend was a hopeless romantic.

"You know you're dying to ask, Glen, so go ahead." Ross smiled a bit sheepishly.

"Well, I have been wondering about them. You haven't said much about it since he came back after he was wounded saving the secretary general."

"Yeah, well, I had hoped there wouldn't be much to tell but I found out differently. Stupid tank has let himself be talked into marrying her."

Glen bristled as always in Madi's defence. "Ty, I hardly think Madi could talk Hawkes into anything he doesn't want to do. I've noticed that boy has a stubborn streak a mile wide, almost as wide as the one that runs through you."

"Kid doesn't know what he's doing, what he's getting into…" McQueen trailed off and shook his head in resignation "….She had to be behind it. He just told me today." Ross quickly made the connection between McQueen's raised voice and his bad mood and he blew out a frustrated breath. At times he wanted to beat some sense into the younger man that he'd come to think of as his best friend and this was one them.

"And you showed your pleasure at the news by chewing his ass out, no doubt." McQueen's startled look confirmed his guess. "No, my psychic abilities have not come to the forefront, I just know you. Damn it, Ty! Why can't you just be happy for the boy and tell him so? You're the one person on this ship he has any respect for or looks up to and that includes me. He shares something like that with you and you tear him a new one?" McQueen's cold glare was enough to tell Ross he didn't like being chastised.

"I'm not telling you how to run your command, Ty. I'm telling you you're letting your personal involvement affect how you deal with Hawkes." McQueen sat silently, staring past Glen, his expression stoic; but Ross knew he was listening or he'd have walked off.

"Anyone with eyes can see the boy worships you, McQueen. You've become a father figure to the entire squadron, especially Hawkes, and we both know it. Whether or not you agree with what he's doing, you're going to have to show your support. That's part of it." He softened his voice because he knew the next would hurt.

"She's not Amanda, Ty. For one thing, she's made out of much tougher stuff." He raised his hand to ward off McQueen's angry words.

"I'm not saying anything I haven't said before and you know it. Your ex-wife is a beautiful woman but she didn't have the heart to stand by you and I find that hard to forgive. You're trying to put that same shoe on Madi but it won't fit. She's crazy about that young marine so you might as well make your peace with her and get used to them being together. I warned you months ago this day would come."

"They're both kids, they don't know what it's like."

"They'll face it together, Ty. They'll have troubles just like all married couples, I've told you about some of mine. You think it's easy on my wife being home alone and taking care of our children by herself? It's hell on both of us. I knew what it would be like when she wanted to get married and tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen." McQueen looked interested in spite of himself at this look into his friend's private life.

"Was it as bad as you told her?"

Ross smiled. "It was ten times worse, but we adjusted and we've made it. I've never regretted it, but I have had nightmares where I dreamed I turned my back on her and went back to my ship alone. They're cold dreams, Ty. I'm glad I took the risk. As for Hawkes, you can't keep him wrapped in wool. It's inevitable that he's going to get hurt in this life, but you've let him get bloody before and he's done just fine. You should be proud, you've done a good job with him. He's a fine young man and he's lucky to have Madi."

McQueen still looked uncertain but he'd stopped arguing and that was a good sign. Ross switched to the other thing he wanted to ask about.

"Any word from the SAR teams?"

"No signs of anything yet. If it wasn't for Dr. Hagen being so sure, I think they'd have called off the search hours ago. Any idea how she got clearance to board?"

"No, it's classified, but she pulled some very heavy strings, I can tell you that. Our people want Masterson back in a bad way so they're willing to try anything. My gut tells me this has to do with our guest's aborted arrival. As soon as we find Masterson or his body, they'll make contact with the ambassador and try to arrange another meeting."

McQueen acknowledged that with a grim look. He was suspicious and hopeful at the same time about this new development and its relevance to Masterson's arrival on the Saratoga.

"I need to speak with Damphousse later and see if they're making any progress. Do you believe in all this paranormal activity stuff?"

"I've seen a lot of unexplainable things as I've traveled the earth, Ty. This is unremarkable compared to many of the things I've come in contact with, so yes, I do believe it." Ross headed toward the door, "Wake me if you hear anything from SAR, Ty, otherwise I'll relieve you tomorrow morning. And don't spend you whole shift worrying about this. Things will work out for the best."

As Ty headed toward the showers he wished he could believe that.

~*~

Lieutenant Damphousse stood at attention in front of her CO´s desk, consumed with curiosity, although she was careful not to give any sign of it to the man sitting in front of her. "At ease, Vanessa," McQueen finally said, looking up from the star charts spread on the desk in front of him, before rolling them up into a neat package. Phousse had managed to get a good enough look at them to determine that they were star charts of the local area, and to note that the marks drawn on them looked a great deal like a SAR search pattern. That made her even more curious. Still, if McQueen had called her Vanessa that meant that whatever his reasons for wanting to see her alone, away from the other Wildcards, she wasn´t about to be reamed out for some infraction, which was always a relief. Her CO had not been in a good mood today. First, Shane had witnessed him having a stand up fight with Gibson in the Tun and then by all accounts he´d had a go at Cooper. They still didn´t know what that was about, but the original Wildcards were getting used to that wounded puppy look on their youngest member´s face that meant he´d just had most of his skin removed by their CO´s tongue. Cooper was being remarkably closed mouthed about it, but that was nothing new - for him. It must be something to do with Madi´s miraculous reappearance on board, which must also be why Cooper hadn´t been seen for most of the day. Phousse sighed slightly, being careful not to let the man in front of her notice. She worried about Cooper almost as much as Shane did. But, like West, she believed that Coop ought to grab at happiness with both hands as hard as he could while he still could. If only she´d done that with Paul...

The man in front of her finally spoke, snatching her out of her reverie. "You´re probably wondering what all of this is about," he commented, fixing her with his piercing blue gaze.

"Yessir," she replied correctly, staring straight ahead, a little afraid to look into his eyes in case he could tell what else she´d been wondering about.

"You´d better sit down, Lieutenant," he added, a little wearily, gesturing at the chair in front of him. "This might take a while." As she settled herself down, he rubbed his temples, wishing vainly for the headache currently building in his head would just go away. He seemed to get these pains in the head just as soon as Gibson reentered the equation. He became aware once more that Vanessa was watching him patiently. Not for the first time, he wondered a little what was going on behind that calm facade. Of all of his ‘Cards, Phousse was the one he knew the least, the one he´d been unable to get a handle on. Shane and West he understood, knew what drove them on, made them do the things they did. Wang he´d understood too, had seen the despair behind those eyes, had known that pain. And Cooper, well Cooper was his dearest child, the one he understood the best. Cooper was a younger him, more reckless certainly, more wild and dangerous but driven by the same things. Damphousse - she was still an enigma to him in a lot of ways.

"You know that Gibson is back on board?" he queried, dragging his mind back to the present. It wouldn´t take long for the scuttlebutt to get around, not with Hawkes mooning around like a lovesick calf.

"Yessir," she acknowledged, her face as calm as always.

"What you may not know is that she was accompanied aboard by Doctor Hagen. You remember Doctor Hagen?"

"I never met her, sir, but I remember that West said that she was the one who´d saved Cooper´s life that time, and that Shane spoke to her afterwards." McQueen fixed her with another one of those piercing stares.

"Did Captain Vansen tell you what the topic of that conversation was, Lieutenant?"

"No sir." Back to Lieutenant. Did that mean that she was in trouble? She prayed not. McQueen sighed. She shot a surreptitious look at his face. He looked tired and tense, and her heart went out to him. She wasn´t in trouble, she realised. It was just McQueen´s way of keeping his distance. She supposed that it was necessary in a CO; Shane got that way too sometimes these days, but it was a pity, nonetheless, that he couldn´t relax around them. She remembered his outburst in the Tun that time with Winslow. Make that definitely couldn´t relax around them. The thought of that night still made her shudder to herself sometimes. Pray that she was never on the receiving end of that wrath ever again.

McQueen seemed to be thinking things over, wondering how much to tell her. By now she was finding it more difficult to keep her curiosity hidden. It was eating her up inside, and the longer he kept silent, the more difficult it got. Finally her curiosity was satisfied, although his next question took her completely by surprise.

"Do you know about Lucas?"

"Cooper´s friend?" she asked, wondering at the strange direction the conversation was taking. At McQueen´s abrupt nod, she continued. "He has the same kind of.... talent I guess you´d call it, that Cooper has. And I know that he and Cooper seem to have this connection, and sometimes Cooper can talk to him when he can´t talk to us." She didn´t tell McQueen the vague stirrings of jealousy that this sometimes roused in all of the ‘Cards; she had a feeling he knew that anyway. If their feelings for Cooper had any flaws, she reflected, it might be a tendency towards possessiveness. Not that they thought of him as their pet tank or anything, but she guessed that Cooper had needed them in a strange way for so long that him needing someone else made them all a little antsy.

McQueen nodded once again. "Yes. Doctor Lucas Masterson. He was on his way to the Saratoga..." Phousse felt a quick wave of pleasure on Cooper´s behalf, after all seeing and talking to a friend had to be better than just holding conversations with them in your head, before McQueen´s next words registered. "...but the ISSCV he was on was intercepted, we believe by AIs." He paused once more, and Phousse plucked up her courage to ask a question.

"Am I allowed to ask why Doctor Masterson was on his way here, sir? I take it that it wasn´t just to see Cooper?"

McQueen rested his chin on his steepled fingertips. "I´m afraid that I´m not at liberty to tell you that, Lieutenant, but you are right in assuming that it wasn´t just to see Hawkes. Which brings me to why you are here." Phousse had been wondering about that. Normally, if McQueen found it necessary to brief only one of the 5-8, it was Shane in her role as Honcho. McQueen raised himself out of his chair, and started to pace around the room. Whatever it was, it obviously made him feel uncomfortable. Phousse was beginning to have an idea of what McQueen was going to say. The topic of Cooper and his talent normally did make McQueen... nervous wasn´t exactly the word... edgy. Made him edgy. She ventured another question.

"Does this have anything to do with my..... anomalous intuition, sir?" She watched McQueen relax. Bingo. He was obviously more comfortable with her raising the topic than having to raise it himself.

"Yes, Lieutenant, it does." He steeled himself for the next revelation, although Phousse seemed to be taking this all in her stride. Damn, but he wished that he could get an angle on the girl. "Doctor Hagen has the same sort of ... talent as you called it, as Hawkes and Masterson. She seems to think that she can somehow locate him. I´m not convinced personally, but the brass want him back and that means that for now we go along with her."

"Where do I come in, sir?"

"Hagen seems to think that she needs Hawkes for this. She´s also requested you. I think she expects you to keep Hawkes calm, like you did when he first developed this weird mind thing, rather than assist directly in the search. And I want you there to keep an eye on Hawkes. I´m not sure that I entirely trust Hagen. I want you to watch his back."

Phousse snapped to attention, all business. "Anything else sir?" McQueen gave her a long considering look.

"Yes, Lieutenant. Watch your own back too." With that he dismissed her.

Vanessa paused at the door. She might be sticking her head in the lion´s den, but it hadn´t escaped her attention that not once during their conversation had McQueen referred to Lieutenant Hawkes as ‘Cooper,´ something he had been wont to do recently. She sincerely hoped that Madi hadn´t driven a wedge between them again. She hated to see either of them like this, at each other´s throats, almost, and both of them miserable. It was even worse than watching Coop and West fight. She cleared her throat a little uncomfortably.

"He´ll be okay, sir." She met that clear blue gaze again, and her courage failed her. She left without saying anything more, like what she´d wanted to add. ‘Provided you let him make his own decisions.´

~*~

Reece lay on his bunk, trying very hard not to close his eyes. Ever since he´d found out that Lucas had been snatched by AIs he´d been on tenterhooks. All of the nightmares he´d had since being grabbed himself came flooding back. He vividly remembered how much that AI bastard had hurt Cooper when Cooper came to rescue him. He couldn´t help but wonder what they were doing to Lucas.

He wished that he could sleep with his mom, even if that was a baby thing to do. Right now, he was so scared he didn´t really care what it looked like. Independence was all well and good, but he was still only nine and if you couldn´t crawl into bed with your mom when you were nine, then there was something wrong with the world. The twins did it all of the time, and they didn´t have nightmares. He still wasn´t keen to show any weakness, but since Samuel had snatched him from the street he had sought that kind of solace three or four times, when the nightmares got really bad, like they were now.

However, his mom was currently closeted with Thursday. He still didn´t understand what was going on, but he guessed with Lucas gone maybe Thursday needed his mom even more than he did. He still didn´t like sharing Madi with anyone not of his choosing, which to date had been limited to the twins, but he could still picture the colour draining from Thursday´s face when he´d mentioned Lucas´ name. He guessed maybe she loved Lucas as much as Cooper claimed to love his mom.

Cooper. Now that was a thought. He didn´t want to risk going to Madi, just in case Thursday made good her threat to have Colonel McQueen throw him in the brig for wandering around unaccompanied, but maybe if he was very quiet he could sneak past Thursday´s door and find his way to the Wildcards´... what was it they called it, oh yes... wardroom, without anyone realising he was gone. He tried telling himself that this would give him a good excuse to explore the ship. It was easier than admitting that he was still scared by some baby dreams.

However, the deserted corridors of the Saratoga did little to reassure him. He pictured an AI around every corner. By the time he was almost at the Wildcards´ wardroom he was running as fast as he could.

~*~

Cooper was finding it even more difficult to sleep than he normally did. The events of the day weighed heavily on his mind, which buzzed with activity. He wished he could sleep. He was so tired. But he kept thinking of Lucas. He couldn´t get Lucas out of his brain, remembering the fear he felt when they´d been unable to reach him, remembering Thursday´s fear, hot and acid in the back of his throat. And worst of all, remembering Lucas´ fear, no matter how hard his friend had tried to hide it. That fear had tasted even worse.

His exhaustion was making it difficult to keep the world out. He hadn´t quite got to the stage where he needed to get blind drunk just to stop the voices in his head, but that still didn´t mean that he was enjoying it. Not for the first time, he was grateful for Phousse´s quiet presence. Just being around her made it a little easier to block everyone else out, although he didn´t understand why. Perhaps Lucas could explain....

That thought brought reality crashing in again once more. He may never have the chance to ask Lucas anything like that again. He may never get to ask dumb questions and listen to Lucas´ patient reply and get really pissed off at the slightly patronising tone, although he had realised that sometimes Lucas got that tone with everyone.

He tried not to follow that train of thought. If nothing else it would upset Thursday. He wasn´t quite sure whether she could pick his thoughts up from her side of the ship without specifically looking for him, but he didn´t want to risk it. She´d suffered enough for today and she didn´t need him to make things worse.

He tossed and turned some more. Mason was dreaming about his girlfriend again, two bunks down. He wished the guy would just give it a rest, although on one level he could sympathise. He´d missed Madi so much while they´d been separated, even Mason had to miss his girl. But Madi was here now, albeit closeted in with Thursday. Which meant that he couldn´t even escape from Mason´s dreams by turning them into a reality for himself. Damn it, he´d slept on ground that was more comfortable than his bunk was at the moment. However, his exhaustion finally got the better of him and he began to slide slowly towards unconsciousness.

What was that? His finely tuned senses, and not the ones Thursday wanted him for, had picked something up, something outside the door. A split second later the door swung open lightly, and a small and familiar face peered around the edge.

"Reece!" Cooper hissed, trying not to wake the other ‘Cards. In the bunk above him, Phousse stirred restlessly. "What the hell are you doing here? Don´t you know better than to run around on your own on a ship at night?" he added slightly more quietly. The boy was strangely quiet, and now that Cooper was fully awake he could sense the boy´s fear. For a moment his disorientated mind thought that perhaps something had happened, before he finally realised the problem.

"Oh... nightmares?" he asked, more softly still. Reece nodded at him, and Cooper threw back the covers, just as he had back on earth, at Lucas´ that time. Once again, Reece didn´t hesitate, taking a flying leap almost from the doorway to land on Cooper´s bunk. "Shhh," hissed Cooper once again. "You don´t want to wake the rest of the ‘Cards up. God only knows what Shane would say if she found you here, but I don´t want to find out."

They sat and stared at each other for a moment, neither of them exactly sure of what to say. Reece wondered if he should tell Cooper that he´d really meant to write, that he´d even started once or twice, just in case the guy was kinda upset about it. Only Cooper didn´t look upset, he just looked worried, although Reece couldn´t determine if this was due to the fact that Lucas was missing or that he, Reece, was here.

Cooper for his part was praying that no-one woke up. He might be able to explain to the rest of the original ‘Cards what a nine year old was doing on the ‘Toga, and even more in their quarters, but he didn´t fancy explaining it to any of the newbies. From the way Shane had pulled him aside and warned him about Mason´s questions, he wasn´t sure he wanted any of them to know that the kid was even on the ‘Toga, although he was enough of a realist to know that gossip like that was not going to stay hidden for long.

It was Cooper who finally broke the awkward silence. "You okay?" He knew as soon as he spoke that perhaps that was the right question. Reece rarely admitted that he was less than okay, no matter what the circumstances. And by the look Reece was giving him now, he wasn´t going to admit it tonight. Cooper was beginning to wonder if Reece would ever look in his direction without that underlying air of hostility. He thought they´d made a breakthrough this afternoon, during their conversation on how to get Madi to marry him, but now he was beginning to realise that Reece considered him the ‘least worst alternative´ rather than as an option that had any merits in its own rights. He was too tired to deal with this right now.

"Yes or no, Reece. Its a simple question. Or did you come down here because you were overcome with curiosity and the burning desire to see where I sleep which was so great that it couldn´t wait until morning?" On the whole, Cooper was rather proud of that little speech, at least until he saw Reece´s face crumple a little. Why couldn´t he do anything right? Perhaps it would have been better if he´d let Samuel just shoot him so he couldn´t screw up anymore.

He tried changing the subject. "Did your mom tell you I talked to her?" Reece shook his head, but looked a little more hopeful. "Well, she said yes, so I guess you can stop worrying for a little bit, okay?"

Reece nodded, twisting his fingers in the sheets. "Why didn´t she tell me herself?" Oh god. Another one of those difficult questions he hated answering. He guessed that he´d better get used to it, because he had a feeling that Reece would save them all up just to ask him. Just to watch him squirm a little. He wondered if the kid ever pulled the wings off flies.

"Well, Reece, she´s a little occupied right now, like in trying to help save Lucas´ life. I´m sure she didn´t mean not to tell you..." Cooper floundered a little at this point, but he guessed he´d done okay, because Reece seemed a little more satisfied. Now he was only looking at Cooper like he was trying to do a difficult maths equation in his head. That look made Cooper feel distinctly uncomfortable, so he changed the subject again before Reece could think up any more difficult questions.

"Did you walk all the way from your mom´s room in bare feet?" Reece just glared at him. For a supposedly battle hardened marine, the guy could fuss worse than his mom. "Are you stupid, or did you just like the idea of frostbite?" Still Reece said nothing. Sighing, Cooper crept out of his bunk and fished in his foot locker for some socks. He had yet more cause to sigh as Reece just handled them suspiciously. "They´re clean."

He fought the urge to laugh as he watched Reece pull them on. They were large enough to come up to the kid´s knees, and he was flapping around like that marine mammal that had been on the discovery channel that Paul liked to watch... seal, that was it. The ones that sometimes balanced a ball on their noses. He had to fight harder not to laugh. Somehow picturing Reece with a large multi coloured ball on the end of his nose made the kid seem less... frightening. Although of course, he wasn´t frightened of the kid. Not exactly....

He brought a halt to his train of thought as he watched the kid shiver. Once more he was struck by how small the boy really was when he stopped talking. In fact, the clothes he was wearing, which were obviously Thursday´s, since there was no one else on this barge who´s clothes would come anywhere close to fitting him, just made him seem even smaller. "Okay," he said, a little grudgingly because he didn´t want Reece to think that he could wander wherever he wanted, "you can stay, for tonight." He pulled back the bedcovers further, and waited for Reece to snuggle down underneath them. He guessed he wasn´t going to get much more sleep tonight.

He was shielding so hard due to Reece´s proximity, he didn´t pick up Phousse awake above him, or the wry smile of amusement she shared with Vansen across the width of the wardroom. Which was just as well, really, given his current temper.

Trail of Tears Part 7
Trail of Tears
Part Seven
Disclaimer
When Cooper awoke the next morning, earlier than the rest of the ‘Cards as was his wont, Reece was gone - back to his own bed presumably. However, Cooper did not have much time to worry about the boy. The next day was more than difficult. Now that they had established a connection to Lucas, at least they could be assured that he was alive, but that was as much assurance as they got.

About midmorning, the AI´s decided that psychological torture wasn´t getting them anywhere. They went for the physical kind.

Cooper sat on Thursday´s bunk, his body clenched as tightly as a fist, his hands over his ears as though that would help block it out. Nothing helped. He could feel what they were doing to Lucas, no matter how hard Lucas tried to block it out. And Lucas was trying. Cooper could feel that. He couldn´t begin to imagine how much worse it would get when Lucas was too weak to shield him. One part of him wanted to tell Lucas to let go, tell them everything, stop making the terrible effort of shielding, stop the pain. Anything. Anything would be better than this.

Except he knew that Lucas couldn´t. Couldn´t give in, couldn´t talk, couldn´t betray him. Because that would mean Lucas´ life, Thursday´s life, Madi´s life, maybe even Reece´s. And his of course. Cooper knew that if Lucas talked, told the AIs what they wanted to know, then he might as well get his gun out and shoot himself. It would be quicker that way, and probably easier.

So he sat there, knees scrunched up into his chest, hands over his ears, and tried to block out Lucas. He didn´t need to block out Thursday. She did her crying silently, her body shaking slightly but not making a sound. Not for the first time, Cooper cursed his inability to come up with the right words. There were no right words in this case, but he wished he could think of something to say, anything to say that would lessen her pain, even slightly. He tried to put himself in her shoes, to imagine how he´d feel if it was Madi, but that thought was too terrible to contemplate for more than a millisecond. It filled him with a feeling that was worse than fear; it filled him with despair and hate.

God he hated those bastards. And the source of his hate was guilt. If Lucas had never met him, never heard of him, then he wouldn´t be in this situation, no matter what Thursday said to the contrary. He was no use to anyone, least of all Lucas. All he caused was trouble. If it hadn´t been for him, maybe Pags wouldn´t have died, Reece wouldn´t have been kidnapped, Lucas wouldn´t have been taken. Maybe he was a curse.

That´s enough! Thursday´s ‘voice´ made his head ring. Self-pity is not an attractive quality, especially in someone as smart and sweet as you. It´s not helping. Her tone softened slightly. This isn´t helping, Cooper. It´s not your fault. We just have to try and pick up the pieces. Try to concentrate on getting some sort of fix. He looked up to meet her tearstained eyes. She was right, of course.

He watched as her head sunk back down to be pillowed in her own arms, her body starting to shake with sobs once more, still silent. There was nothing he could do. He didn´t think she´d even want him to touch her. It was too raw. He didn´t realise that the tears were also running down his cheeks.

~*~

By the end of the day, they still had nothing to show for it, except bruised and battered psyches. Cooper left Thursday in Phousse´s care. He could hardly bear to be around her. Although she tried to reassure him that she didn´t blame him at all for what had happened, he couldn´t shake the feeling that somehow she must, somehow Lucas must. This was all his fault.

Madi was occupied with Reece. It was late. They´d been torturing Lucas for most of the day, but finally they´d stopped, probably in order to let him brood once more. They´d locked him in a dark and stuffy room, away from any sounds other than that background rumble. Isolation was an effective torture technique. The AIs had been using it for years. They´d used it on Paul, and now they were using it on Lucas.

Cooper had nothing to say to him, and so he said nothing. He left it to Thursday to deal with the fallout. He felt guilty about that too, but he had a feeling that Lucas really needed to talk to Thursday without him hovering in the background, psychically speaking.

He went for a run around the ship, ignoring the stares. Most people avoided him anyway. And the ones who normally said hello, or who may have stopped him to be sociable took one look at his face and gave him a wide berth. He liked it like that. No contact - no risk.

Thursday was ignoring him this time. He understood why. She was in no mood and no condition to worry about his sense of well being or to lecture him again about self-pity. Her entire attention was focused on Lucas. He tried to imagine what it would be like if it were Reece or Madi, although it was bad enough that it was Lucas. He couldn´t. Some concepts were too difficult to grasp. Even when those bastards had had Reece there had been a part of him that hadn´t believed that they would be able to hold on to the kid - some part that just knew that things were going to be all right. And they had been. But that same sense of ‘rightness´ wasn´t with him now. There was just this void, this emptiness. All he could do was run, and all he could do for Tee now was to try to be there for her if she needed him, even if she didn´t. Much the same way that Shane and Phousse were there for him if he needed them. Although he wasn´t sure if he could manage to be even that much use to her.

Running helped. It always had. Whenever things got too much, when life was just too much to bear, he ran, as though in running he could leave his problems far behind. And so now he ran until his breath whistled in his throat and his heart pounded in his chest. Eventually even his InVitro stamina couldn´t keep him going. He paused to catch his breath, leaning back against the bulkhead. As wired as he was, it didn´t take him long to realise that he wasn´t on his own. Every nerve end singing, he spun on the balls of his feet almost knocking Shane off hers.

"Easy, Hawkes," she gasped, her own heart pounding now, caught off guard by the almost feral expression on his face. She thought that she was familiar with his sudden change of moods now, but this edginess she hadn´t seen for a very long time and it unnerved her. After several long seconds he relaxed slightly, the tension slowly easing from his body. He leaned back against the bulkhead, his whole body proclaiming his exhaustion. Shane watched him, uncertain of what to say next. She didn´t need to have Phousse´s gift to be able to tell that he was in pain, but she had no idea of how to go about easing it.

"Coop," she said, reaching out to touch him, her voice almost breaking. She hated to see him like this.

"Don´t touch me," he snarled, flinching away from her fingers. If he´d had the energy, he would have explained to her that it hurt. He was so wired at the moment every time he came into contact with other humans, every time they touched him, it was like an electric shock. Even being in the same room with them made his head buzz. But he didn´t have the energy, and he didn´t have the words to wipe that shocked, hurt expression from her face.

She stood there, immobile, her hand still raised as her mind to grasp what he´d said. When he´d first joined the Wildcards he´d been like this, angry, closed off, dangerous. But over time he´d relaxed, and the gentler side of him had shown through. It was that side that made Phousse and Shane love him so much, and Nathan, if Nathan ever admitted to that feeling. Because Cooper had needed them, and that satisfied a very basic need in them all, the need to be needed. And because Cooper needed human contact, she and Vanessa had got into the habit of treating him a little like a pet cat that liked to be petted and stroked and just touched. Even after the sexual side of their relationship had ended, which Shane freely admitted now was a mistake, she´d still been able to just touch him sometimes, a pat on the butt or an affectionate hug, and on those occasions she could just feel the tension drain out of his body.

She realised that her hand was still stretched out to him, and she let it fall, still confused. It looked like the hugging days were over. For a moment or two, she actually believed that this was something to do with Madi. Maybe Cooper still felt guilty about what had happened between them, and Madi being on the ship meant he didn´t want her near. She soon dismissed that idea when she saw the way he was almost burying himself into the wall. To get away from her, she realised with a sinking heart.

There was a sound in the corridor next to theirs, a bustle of feet that signalled approaching marines. Without even pausing to think, she grabbed hold of him, ignoring the sharp hissing intake of his breath, and dragged him down a side corridor out of sight before he managed to shake her off. The last thing they needed was some nosy marine filing some kind of psyche report on Hawkes. There were those on the ship that were convinced that he was half-crazy anyway, and this kind of behaviour would only confirm their suspicions.

She listened, her head cocked, as the footsteps moved out of hearing distance, before finally relaxing and turning back to the most troublesome marine in her unit. The sight of him now did little to reassure her. He was rocking to and fro on the balls of his feet, his arms wrapped tightly around himself, to shield himself from god knows what. Once again she reached for him, only to have him flinch away again.

"Don´t..."

"I know," she snapped with a trace of the old Shane irritation in her voice. "Don´t touch you. It´s all right, Hawkes. I won´t lay a finger on you, if its that much of a trial." Without her intending it, a note of hurt sarcasm crept into her voice. This time she didn´t need to touch him for him to flinch. She ached for him, but at the same time she was becoming more and more irritated at his behaviour. She didn´t need this. She had enough to worry about, lull or no lull in the fighting.

"Are you going to explain to me what the hell is going on, or do I get twenty guesses?" For a long time she thought he wasn´t going to answer her, and the prospect of having to drag an answer, syllable by syllable out of him did not improve her temper any. And then, just as she was about to beat it out of him, or throw up her arms in disgust and give up on him, the words burst out in a flood. They didn´t make any sense at first, washing over her before she could grasp their meaning, but eventually it dawned on her what he was saying.

"It hurts, Shane, I´m sorry, it just hurts. And I can feel it, you know, I mean he´s trying so hard, so hard, but I can still feel it and she can still feel it and I know she can still feel it and if he can´t stop it how am I supposed to stop it, and I can´t even get this right, Shane. What am I supposed to do. I can´t block it out, Shane, and he´s trying so hard not to let us know and he can´t, I mean he can but not enough. And its bad enough if he´s blocking some of it out, and I can´t imagine what it must be like when he´s not blocking it out, and how am I supposed to cope when he can´t. Do you think it was like this for Paul, Shane. Do you?" His eyes finally met hers, desperately searching for some kind of assurance she couldn´t give.

She took a deep breath. "Who´s he, Cooper? Do you mean Lucas? And what is he trying to block out?"

Cooper´s eyes were miserable. "They´re hurting him, Shane."

"And you can feel this?" He nodded. "Like they´re hurting you," she guessed. She was reassured somewhat when he shook his head.

"Like... like being nearby, or seeing it or hearing it...." His voice trailed off, as he searched desperately for the words to try and describe the sensation to Shane. He couldn´t find them. It was like hurting and not being hurt. Shane grasped the concept. She still remembered the feeling she had when she heard Paul scream. A feeling of combined terror, shame, relief and complete helplessness. A maelstrom of emotions that she was sure Cooper didn´t know how to deal with.

"Cooper," she began, before her voice trailed of. "I don´t know what to say to you to make this better. I´m not sure of there is anything that will make it better. I know how difficult it is to watch someone you care about suffer." How well she knew that, after watching her parents murdered by AIs. "All you can do is the best you can, even if you don´t think that´s enough."

"I feel so useless."

"I know, Coop. But you are doing something. Having you there, I can´t even begin to imagine how much of a comfort to Lucas that must be. He knows that he´s not alone, he´s got to. And that has got to help." She tried to imbue him with her strength, but when he raised his eyes to her, she knew that she´d failed.

"It's not enough," he said.

~*~

He checked in with Thursday two hours later, as physically drained now as he was mentally. The talk with Shane had helped a little, more than she´d suspected. And the run had helped.

Thursday was asleep, her small body curled up on the bunk, dwarfed by the surroundings. Cooper settled himself in the chair opposite her, watching her while she slept. He still felt helpless, but the edge had gone from his desperation. In one sense he was pleased that she was asleep. That meant that he didn´t have to face her. He´d failed her, he´d failed both of them. After all that they had done for him, he´d let them down. For all that Thursday told him he was giving into self-pity, he was well aware that this was in some way his fault. Or even if it wasn´t his fault, it was due to his very existence. She wouldn´t blame him, he knew. In fact, it was weird. He knew that she blamed Lucas more. He didn´t really understand that, except she somehow thought that Lucas should have been more careful, taken fewer risks. And that if he had then he wouldn´t be in this situation.

She stirred slightly in her sleep, her face creasing a little at whatever dreams were disturbing her rest. She looked so small and tired she reminded Cooper a little of Reece, and his heart went out to her.

"I sincerely hope that my size is the only thing that reminds you of Reece," she commented a little acerbically, her eyes still shut. Cooper jumped in his chair. As wired as he was, as on edge, his InVitro senses had let him down. He hadn´t been aware that she was awake. She rolled over on the bed to face him, finally opening her eyes to look at him, her expression a combination of affection and irritation. "Are you always this loud?" she asked a little petulantly. He flushed slightly.

"I been running," he answered, a little defensively.

"I´ve been running," she corrected absently. Cooper flushed a little more.

"You know, I get enough of that crap from Luke. I don´t need it from you too," he said, his tone a little hostile.

"If you call him Luke," she commented easily, "I´m not surprised he gives you crap." Oddly enough, the fact that she was taking things so well made him feel a lot better. It soothed him in a way that Shane hadn´t been able to. If she could relax enough to make jokes, then perhaps there was hope. He felt his spirits rise.

"Shower," she said, in one of her abrupt mood changes. "You smell bad." He didn´t take offence at the comment, the way he would have done if anyone else had said the same thing. He had spent the last few hours working up a sweat. Besides, she´d said almost the same thing in almost the same tone of voice to Reece. Cooper decided she obviously thought of him in the same way as she thought of Reece; with affectionate irritation.

"I´m not Reece, you know," he grumbled a little as he headed towards the small shower. He wished they´d make these things a little bigger. He´d noticed how small they were when he´d been spending so much time with Madi last time she´d been here. Although on one memorable occasion, they had both managed to fit into there.

He heard Thursday splutter behind him, and turned to watch her spill most of a glass of water over herself. "I thought the idea was for me to have a shower, Tee?" he teased a little. She gave him an old fashioned look. Well, if she would insist on wandering through his head uninvited, she could hardly complain about what she found there, could she.

The look she gave him this time was more than old fashioned. He took the hint, and headed for the shower.

That made him feel a lot better too. Like he´d told Madi, hot water was a luxury that the facility hadn´t indulged in. It was odd that he´d had to be homeless before being able to have a lukewarm shower, and a convicted criminal before he finally got to have a hot one. Life was ironic sometimes.

She was looking much more.... what was that word that Shane used about Hutchinson sometimes... perky, that was it. Sort of bright and with it. When he´d left her with Phousse this afternoon, she´d looked half-dead. She´d brightened up enough to actually eat something, although Cooper couldn´t figure out where the hell she could have got a fresh apple. He hoped the Commodore wasn´t missing anything. He still remembered the fallout from the strawberries.

"Of course, you know who Reece really reminds me of?" The question caught Cooper completely off guard, although by now he ought to realise that Thursday´s line of thought didn´t seem to follow anyone else´s.

"Huh? Who?"

"Lucas."

"Lucas?" Cooper tried to reconcile what he knew of Lucas with what he knew of Reece, and came up with a complete blank. How could Lucas ever have been like Reece? While they both could be pains, they also couldn´t be more different. Reece was angry, withdrawn, aggressive and paranoid. Lucas was, well, Lucas. Smart, cool and controlled. How could they be alike?

"Yes - Lucas. He was a lot like Reece when he was younger. I pity you and Madi. You´re going to have fun trying to raise that child. Just don´t let him anywhere near a computer terminal."

Cooper pondered this for a moment before his face brightened. "Maybe we´ll get lucky, Tee, and he´ll meet someone like you." He regretted his impulse when he saw the way that brought back the memories. Why the hell did he have to open his big mouth and remind her. After a moment she relaxed and gave him a wan smile.

"In that case, I pity that poor girl." He grinned back at her in relief, before settling himself gingerly on the bed beside her.

"Is he...?"

"He´s asleep now Cooper. He´s tough. He´s had to be. He´ll be okay." She sounded convinced. "We´ve just got to get him back as soon as possible."

"How?" Despair tinged his voice. "We tried to get a fix, and it didn´t work. We still don´t know where he is. How are we ever going to find him? This is hopeless."

She leapt to her feet. "Cooper Hawkes, you listen to me." She sounded so much like Shane that Cooper started. "We´ve been trying for less than twenty four hours and you´re ready to give up? Is that what they teach you in the Marine Corps? I thought it was all Semper Fi, Do or Die." He watched her rage, open-mouthed. "We´re not giving up. We´re going to find him. We haven´t even started to try everything yet."

"Okay Tee," he said meekly. She took one look at his face, and then broke into rueful laughter.

"Sorry, cariad. I didn´t mean to give you a hard time. I know how difficult this is for you." She sat back on the bed, sighing heavily. "It´s just, we can´t give up yet Coop."

"I know, Tee. We won´t. I promise, we won´t." He gently placed one arm around her shoulders, relieved when she didn´t shake him off. That must mean that she couldn't really blame him for what had happened.

"So," he said to break the tension. "Exactly why does Reece remind you of Luke?" She gave him a keen look, before giving him another grin.

"Maybe I´ll wait to tell you that until after you two are married. I wouldn´t want to scare you off."

"He can´t have been that bad!"

"Oh, honey, you have no idea." She snuggled up a little against him, enjoying the comfort that being this close to a warm body could bring. Especially a body whose mind she couldn´t casually pick up. "Lucas was not a model child, by any stretch of the imagination."

"You knew him when he was a kid?" Cooper was a little surprised. He couldn´t really imagine Lucas without Thursday, but he couldn´t imagine Lucas, or Thursday for that matter, as a kid. Maybe if he knew more kids...

Thursday´s voice interrupted his train of thought. "Yes. He was fourteen the first time I met him. Madi once asked me how come Reece doesn´t scare me the way he scares a lot of other people. I tell her that I know if I could survive Lucas´ teenage years, I can survive anything." Her voice trailed off. When he looked at her face, her eyes were distant, lost in painful memories. After a moment, she shook herself back to the present, and smiled up at him, although the tension was still present in her face.

"Why don´t you go and see Madi, cariad? Reece should be in bed now." He started to protest, he didn´t think that she should be on her own now, but she cut his protests short. "Go and see her, Cooper. You don´t realise how lucky you are."

She sat on the bed for a long time after he´d left, staring into space, trying not to think. She was so cold, but it wasn´t a cold of the flesh, more one of the spirit. It had been so long since she´d been separated from Lucas for this length of time. Although they nominally had separate houses, that was more a play at independence than any real need to be apart. In fact, they tended to split their time between the two, and recently they hadn´t really done that, with Madi and her brood taking up semi-residence in hers. Even when they were apart, they phoned each other every night, not because they needed to talk; their gift gave them the ability to do that, but to see a beloved face on a vidscreen. Some people might consider their relationship claustrophobic, but those people wouldn´t understand that they did this not so much because they were so weak that they needed each other, but because they were strong - strong enough not to be afraid of intimacy, strong enough to want to be with each other. She had a feeling that Nathan and Kylen would understand. Theirs was a similar relationship. One built on trust as well as love.

She shivered, coming abruptly back to the present, wondering how long she´d been drifting. Maybe the room was getting colder. The sweater she pulled out from the drawer next to the bed was too large to be hers. Lucas´ favourite. The one he left behind when he left her, because he knew somehow without a word being said that when she woke in the middle of the night and reached for him, it gave her comfort. It gave her comfort now as she pulled it on, and then curled back up in the dark. It smelled of his aftershave, and it was dark enough so that her tears barely showed.

Trail of Tears Part 8
Trail of Tears
Part Eight
Disclaimer
Samuel regarded the man before him speculatively. It had been over 36 hours now, and he showed no signs of breaking. That in itself was curious. Oh, Samuel had come across men who had lasted longer, but they´d been trained soldiers during the AI war, not a harmless computer geek. His processor balked at the thought that perhaps he´d underestimated the man. He´d been doing this for years, and was good at it. Although even he had to admit that every now and then he came across someone who surprised him, someone who seemed to have hidden reserves of strength. Carbonites could be very unpredictable sometimes. It was very inconsiderate of them.

After losing control the first time, he´d been careful not to hit the face again. Sometimes having an unblemished face was an asset. It made those propaganda videos so much more believable if the faces were unmarked. And overall they hadn´t done too much damage so far; a few broken ribs were all. The man would recover – if he were ever allowed out of here, which of course he wouldn´t be.

He sighed heavily, enjoying the dramatic effect. If the Samuel-L models had a flaw, it was their tendency to overdramatise. He noted with some satisfaction that the sound also made the man flinch slightly. The movement was so slight that if it hadn´t been for the AI´s heightened senses, he probably wouldn´t have noticed. But it reassured Samuel that at least they were making some progress.

"Now, Doctor Masterson," he said, adopting the soothing, almost avuncular tone that he knew worked so well. "Why don´t we try it again? Hum? We don´t want to have to hurt you, and we won´t have to if you would just be reasonable. This attitude of non-cooperation that you insist on assuming really doesn´t help anybody – least of all you." He waited for a response. There was none. He sighed for effect again. "Come now, Doctor Masterson. Why don´t you just play nice?"

This time he got a response. Short, but hardly sweet. He sighed again. "Now, Doctor Masterson. Please don´t use language like that, or I´ll have to get Sanchez to teach you some manners again." No answer. The Carbonite had gone back to being unresponsive. He sighed again, this time more because of his irritation rather than for effect. While he loved the process of torture, and in a normal situation would have spun it out for days if he could, he was aware that time was running out on them, and besides, the fact that Masterson was holding out on him was an affront to his professional pride.

He gestured to his companion AI to move in once more. The resultant screams did a great deal to soothe his frazzled circuits.

~*~

Shane was staring out of the window in the Tun when Phousse found her. Neither of them had had a good day – Shane because of the scene with Cooper, and Phousse because she´d been watching Cooper and Thursday suffering for most of the day. They were both too tired to do more than nod at one another. Phousse settled herself on the nearest seat with a heavy sigh. She couldn´t pick up what was happening to Lucas, but having to watch Cooper feeling it was bad enough.

"How is he?" Shane´s question interruped her thoughts. She didn´t need to say who ‘he´ was – Vanessa knew well enough.

"Tired and hurting."

"Isn´t there anything you could do?" Shane demanded. "I mean, I saw him earlier, and he´s a mess Phousse!"

"I´m doing my best, Shane," Phousse protested. "It isn´t easy. All I can do is block the rest of the ship out. I can´t block Lucas out – I mean, they´re trying to find him, for god´s sake. Coop´s tough. He´ll be okay."

"He´s not that tough," Shane protested. "How much more can he take of this?"

Phousse had no answer for her.

~*~

Madi juggled the stack of laser discs around until she could peek at her watch as she left the ship's library and groaned in dismay. As usual, any time she got around books she totally lost track of time and Thursday had been alone way too long. Though her friend was more than capable of taking care of herself, Thursday found the noise level on the ship to be incredible. So many people crammed into such a small space was a bit overwhelming and Madi could help by shielding.

She turned the corner too fast and plowed into a tall body. Strong hands caught her and held her steady in front of the man she'd just assaulted while the laser discs arced off in all directions.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! Are you all right?" She ran an absent glance over the Marine, saw that everything looked fine, and quickly knelt to pick up her reading material.

"I'm fine, but this is the second time you've nearly knocked me flat. You're not a fireman are you?" Madi, still on the floor, merely looked puzzled at his teasing tone.

"I'm sorry?"

"Well you always seem to be on your way to a fire." Madi laughed a little at his joke and retrieved another disc from its hiding place in a dark corner of the bulkhead. He politely helped her to her feet then kept his hand on her elbow.

Will Mason couldn't believe his luck. The very redhead he'd been thinking about and here she was. On a ship the size of the Saratoga he could have gone weeks without running into her again. He wasn't going to let her get away easily.

"I'm glad to see you again. Like I said, you always seem to be in a hurry to get somewhere else when we meet." Madi really looked at his face then but he just looked like one more soldier in a ship crawling with them to her.

"We've met before?" Will nodded, his pride dented a bit that she didn't remember when women usually went out of their way to get his attention.

"Yesterday. The Tun? You ran into me at the door."

"Oh! That was you? I'm so sorry, I was… uh, very upset yesterday. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"Forget it, McQueen has that effect on a lot of people." Mason took the opportunity he had to study the woman close up and grinned. He definitely liked what he saw.

"Since you keep running into me the least you could do is tell me your name."

Madi sighed, trying to hide her impatience. She had hit the man but she didn't have time for this flirty nonsense. She firmly removed herself from him and stepped back to put some distance between them.

"I'm Madi Gibson."

"William Mason, Will to my friends." Madi gave him a nod then a dismissing smile and started past him.

"I really am sorry I bumped into you, Mr. Mason, but I´m late for an appointment." She got her first inkling of unease as he playfully grabbed her elbow and pulled her back to him; she let it ride, watching the Marine intently. He was probably a harmless flirt; a lot of the pilots were a bit stuck on themselves. This time her eyes noted the colorful patches on his flight suit and registered with surprise that he was with the Wildcards. She hadn't heard Cooper mention a Mason before.

"Call me Will, Madi. I think we're going to be friends." He smiled at her engagingly and Madi relaxed a little. She didn't want to be rude to one of Cooper's squad mates after all. She smiled back and gently at first -- then with a little more force -- freed her elbow, before stepping back once again. Madi didn't like to be touched by strangers.

Nathan, who'd been on the parallel passageway, let out a pent-up breath. He'd come up on Mason and Madi a minute before and the sight of her standing so close to Mason and smiling had given Nathan a shock for a second before he got his thoughts straight. For a second there… Because it was Mason, and Shane had shared her worries about the new pilot, West sank back into the shadows to watch him. Mason was a good marine and an excellent pilot; he could even be a lot of fun. Their only gripe with him was that he hated Tanks and he constantly picked on Cooper. Shane was right about the situation deteriorating and if Cooper had seen what he'd just seen he didn't know how his friend might take it. Nathan wondered if he should warn Madi about being around Mason as well.

"All right. Will. Now if you'll excuse me, I really do have to go."

"Wait! I might not be able to find you again. How about I pick you up tonight and buy you a drink at the Tun? I know it's not much but it's about all this tub offers in the way of entertainment. Public entertainment that is." Madi continued to walk slowly away, sideways, while Mason followed her.

"Thank you for asking, Will, but I won't be able to." Two more steps away, two more steps toward her.

"Tomorrow night then? Or the next night. I'm not going anywhere." He was clean-cut and handsome, cocky and smiling -- like a thousand other zoomies. If Madi hadn't already been head over heels in love with Cooper she might have been tempted; but she was and Mason wasn't anything like her shy, sweet, gruff Cooper.

"I'm flattered, Will, but I'm involved with someone. I don't date other people." His smile invited her to share secrets.

"Who's going to know what you do up here in space? Your boyfriend will never know." Madi couldn't help smiling at his teasing.

"You are a wicked and evil child, Will Mason. Regardless of where I am, I'm still involved; and he would find out because he's here too. As a matter of fact, he's in your squadron." Mason narrowed his eyes; Vansen had said she was taken but she hadn't said by whom. He ran through the list, trying to match Madi up with the four or five new guys in the group. West, Milano, and Caldwell were married, though Mason wouldn't rule them completely out because of that.

"Allen." He guessed. Madi shook her head and took another two steps toward the next hatch, he followed and she fought the urge to simply walk away. That's what her father always did -- simply left when something was boring him -- and since Madi was determined no to be like her father she stood still. "Wilkinson?" Madi shook her head again and eased a little closer to the hatch; Mason moved in close enough that he could still reach her -- even he was surprised at how desperate he was to know about her. He figured he'd narrowed the search anyway, and he could tell Madi wasn't about to give him any extra information. He'd run through all the single guys. Vansen wasn't close enough to the newer pilots to know what they were up to so Mason figured it had to be West. Nathan sure had the rest of them fooled if he was mooning over his new wife while he had something hot on the side. Mason shook his head in amazement and moved a little closer. Nathan moved a bit nearer as well; he didn't like the way Mason was looking at Madi at all and he wondered why she didn't just walk away.

"Damn, that sly dog. Who'd have thought it?" Madi suddenly became aware that she was very much alone in this section of the ship and that she hadn't passed anyone going to or coming from the library. She also became aware that Mason's friendly smile had turned into a predatory grin and she tensed, mentally cursing herself for not leaving when the leaving was good. Now she had what Lucas liked to term 'a situation'. "So how do you manage to get up here to see him? And what have you got over Vansen to keep her mouth shut?"

"Excuse me?"

"I figured it out, doll. If you're not with any of the others and you're not with one of the girls, then you must be with West. That's how Vansen knew to warn me off of you." Madi felt her caution flee and the anger pour in at his words. Nathan got ready for a fight when he saw with some amusement that Madi was about to defend his honor. McQueen couldn't have looked at Mason with any more scathing contempt than Madi managed.

"Nathan West is a married man, Mr. Mason and I don't appreciate the slur on his character at all -- his wife happens to be a good friend of mine. And I think you're forgetting someone very important in the 5-8." She glared at his vacant look, pissed that he'd overlooked the other obvious choice. Madi found stupidity very tiring and very boring -- she was beginning to see her father's point. "Cooper Hawkes?! One of the best pilots in the squadron? How long have you been here?" Madi knew from past experience you couldn't overlook Cooper's presence; you could like him or hate him, but you couldn't simply ignore him. Now it was Madi who felt like grinning at the look on Mason's face. Stupid bigot.

"Hawkes is a Tank." Mason sneered in disbelief. Madi put her hand on her chest in mock amazement.

"I knew there was something different about that guy. I just couldn't put my finger on it." Her sarcasm on top of his emotional reaction set Mason off and before Madi knew it he had her pinned up against the bulkhead, arms at her side, laser discs scattered at her feet once again. Madi was suddenly frightened by what she saw hiding under that pretty exterior. Natural-born males seemed to take it personally when women were attracted to InVitros, as if it were a slur of some sort. Madi secretly suspected they felt a bit inferior - and who wouldn't? InVitros were made by design not nature. They were genetically enhanced to near perfection with the best traits of the human species and except for their social deficiencies they excelled in anything they attempted. The trouble was that they weren't allowed to attempt much. They were smart, beautiful, and best of all, bred tough - it took a lot to kill a tank, which meant they had also been valued for the now illegal slave labor markets. Madi knew well that one of the main issues behind the prejudice and propaganda about InVitros was fear that if they were treated as 'normal' that they might eventually surpass their natural-born counterparts.

"You'd let a Tank touch you, but you'd turn me down?" Mason couldn't believe the evidence of his own ears. Madi hoped Lucas didn't hear about this. She'd get the lecture of her life if he found out that she'd got herself into a situation simply by being too preoccupied to notice what was going on around her. Well she was in and she might as well be in for a penny as in for a pound.

"I'm involved with Cooper and I like his touching me. Now let me go, Mason." He made no effort to release her.

"I don't understand this. You're a good-looking woman, it's not like you couldn't get a natural born….I can't believe this. And I wanted to ask you out. I should have just brought my wallet and saved us both time. So how much is it? Let's say for an hour? I'll bet you've learned some real kinky stuff from being with a tank, huh?"

"Get your hands off of me, Mason. Last warning." Will grinned at her insolently and released Madi's arms only to press her more securely to the wall with his body, his hands braced on either side of her head, careful to keep her knees pressed down with his legs.

"Do your worst, doll, I like it rough." Will had been expecting her knee, the knife at his throat was a complete surprise. Her voice was like ice and the look in her eyes made him go cold.

"Get off of me, doll before I cut your fucking throat from ear to ear." Madi let the blade slice just a touch, and Mason sprang away from her, his fingers going to the drop of blood in disbelief. Despite her words he hadn't really believed she was serious until then. That it was Hawkes she'd chosen was even more salt in the wound. Nathan West chose that moment to step out of the shadows.

"Problem, Madi?" Madi straightened and gave Mason one last glare. The knife disappeared. She knew any trouble she caused with Mason would find its way back to Cooper and he had enough on his mind right now.

"No, just had something in my eye, Nate. Mr. Mason here was kind enough to help me remove it. Thanks…. Will."

Mason turned and left in disgust, still smarting from Madi's threat. Fucking tank lovers. They made him sick.

Madi watched him go and once again began gathering up her laser discs; she hoped she hadn't damaged any in the scuffle. Nathan, instead of helping her, simply watched her. Madi found his watchful stare unnerving and she finally turned around and gestured with a handful of discs. She thought she was the only one that noticed the tremor in her hand and she quickly lowered it.

"Go ahead, Nathan. Tell me I brought this on myself." He watched her closely for a minute more before gathering all her discs into one of his hands and pulling her into his side with his free arm. Madi tensed for a moment, still wired, before she gave in and buried her face in his shoulder, wrapping her arms loosely around his waist.

"Are you okay?" She nodded. "Need to cry?" She shook her head. "You know we should report this to McQueen." She shook her head vigorously and he strained to hear her muffled words.

"It'll get back to Cooper. I'm afraid of what he might do." Madi brought her head up suddenly, almost clipping Nathan on the chin. "You can't tell him, Nate. Promise me."

"Madi, you can't keep stuff like this from Cooper." But she could and she did. He could see it in her eyes. "It's that bad at home?" She shrugged.

"Nothing I can't handle."

"What about Reece and the girls?"

"Cooper took care before he left that Reece would be okay. They rough him up a little now and then, but nothing like they did the first time. He's different than the other children so they'd give him a hard time regardless. He's so advanced he'll never really fit into the mainstream, but he does pretty well. Reece watches over the girls and even though he's small he fights dirty so they think twice about bothering them." Madi gave him a slight squeeze and stepped back, her composure restored. "Promise me, Nathan. You know what kind of training he's had, if he finds out Mason touched me he's liable to kill him. Please?"

Nathan reluctantly nodded. He'd promised not to tell Cooper but he was going to tell Shane and McQueen and they were going to record the incident. Cooper and Mason were bound to clash and if anything happened at least Nathan would have the facts down on disk. He handed her stuff back she reached up to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you, Nathan." Madi could tell he wanted to argue so she changed the subject adroitly. "I hear congratulations are in order…daddy." Nathan followed her lead. Since she'd been back on board they hadn't had a chance to speak and he wanted to hear the latest on Kylen. He grinned and Madi smiled at the sappy expression on his face, thoughts of his and Kylen's happiness erasing Mason's words.

"How is she? Her last letter was already weeks old before it got here and the damn censors marked all over it."

"She's good, a little sick in the mornings but she's fine by the time she goes in to work. I'm to tell you not to worry." Madi lowered her voice to a whisper. "I've got three letters and some pictures in a hiding place, stop by after your watch is over." Nathan grinned even more and nodded his thanks.

"You sure you're okay, Madi?"

"I'm fine." Madi watched him closely. "Is he giving Cooper a hard time?"

"He tries, but Coop's too cool for him. He just ignores him. If he gets way out of hand McQueen will step in, but he'll make them try to work it out first." Madi nodded. That was her strategy for Reece and the bullies at school as well. "He's not a bad person, he's just got a blind spot where InVitros are concerned. I used to feel that way myself until I got to know Cooper."

Madi accepted that. It was a common ailment on Earth. One she'd never really understood but then she hadn't grown up in the same atmosphere of hate and fear. She'd befriended InVitros at the labs as a child and she'd seen what happened to so many of Aerotech's helpless victims, their InVitro guinea pigs, that if she was going to hate anyone it would be humans. She often wondered how Cooper had managed to get through the Programme with so few hang-ups. Claustrophobia and a healthy fear of needles was mild compared to some of the phobias developed in Aerotech's pseudo-experimentation/torture labs.

"Well, I have to run, Nathan. If I´m not in my cabin, check next door, and I'll get those items for you."

"How about if I take Reece out for a while, show him some of the ship?" Madi smiled in delight.

"He would love that. He's climbing the walls, now. Just remember, don't let him near a computer and be on your guard at all times. It'll be good practice for you. See you later." Madi turned and quickly headed toward her cabin before Nathan could come to his senses about Reece.

~*~

"Now, Doctor, I trust we´re feeling a little more co-operative now, hmm?" Lucas resisted the urge to swear again. Last time all it had got him was new bruises and a possible fractured wrist to go with the broken ribs he suspected he already had. He tried not to move. Every time he so much as shifted position to try to get more comfortable, he had to bite his lip to prevent the screams as the bones in his wrist ground over each other. The world was fading in and out. He was finding it difficult to concentrate on what the AI bastard was saying to him now. He had a sinking feeling that not paying attention would qualify as a misdemeanour as great as swearing.

The AI knelt in front of him, its face concerned. "Are we in pain, Doctor Masterson?" it asked him, false concern reflected in its voice. "We can make it stop, you know. Contrary to what you may think, we are civilised beings. We don´t enjoy doing this."

The hell it didn´t. Lucas knew that AIs were not supposed to feel emotions – that they were supposed to be cold and calculating machines. But he would swear on his family´s bible that this AI, and the other one who had hurt him so badly, got some perverse pleasure from seeing him in pain.

The world was fading out again. Everything seemed grey. The kind of light that you get underwater. He felt like he was drowning.

The AI was talking again. Something else about co-operation. More lies. Something about stopping the pain and letting him go home. Lucas wanted to believe that so badly. But looking at the AI´s eyes, where instead of human pupils that always reflected at least some emotion, there were cold cross-eyes, he knew he couldn´t. They would never let him go. Never. He told himself that again and again, trying to believe it. Trying to replace the AI´s words with the cold certainty that talking would kill him, and not just him, but those he cared about. He was only partly successful. In spite of everything, he wanted to believe the AI so badly.

He was vaguely aware of a pressure in his head. A buzzing sound that some small part of his brain interpreted as a presence. Thursday. Or Cooper. He didn´t know which. He didn´t care. All he cared about now was that the pain would stop. He was so tired.

The AI lost patience with his inattendance. It shook him like a rag doll. The pain in his wrist flared once more, shocking him back to full consciousness. The colours were too loud, the lights were too bright. He fought against the rising tide of nausea and lost. The AI did not appreciate being thrown up on. As Lucas hit the wall the world faded out entirely, the pain in his wrist and the memories it invoked following him down into the darkness.

~*~

You could cut the atmosphere with a knife. He was sure that it was something to do with him. Every glance in his direction, every snide remark, every hate filled stare told him that much. There was a tree, with presents under it. Christmas. It must be Christmas. He remembered that much. But why was he here at Christmas?

There were people there. Older people. His parents. Except he didn´t have parents. And weren´t parents supposed to be caring? It seemed as though these parents didn´t like him very much, especially the male. But maybe he´d find out what real families did at Christmas.

There was something wrong with the perspective. Everything seemed bigger somehow. He was used to being taller than everyone around him, and here he was having to look up. And the faces seemed distorted somehow, the voices coming from a distance, and he couldn´t make out exactly what they were saying.

He didn´t know what started it. The first blow came out of nowhere. His hand hurt and there was blood. A knife. There had been a knife.

He lay on the bed, watching indifferently as someone sewed his hand up. This had to be a hospital. Everything was too bright and it even had that hospital smell. But once again, the angles were all wrong, the lights too bright, the reflections distorted.

He couldn´t even remember now what opinion he´d dared to dispute. Why would that be important? He was normally so careful, but it never seemed to be enough. Why would he need to be careful? This time had been particularly savage. He didn´t really hurt that much at the moment. He was numb. He knew that sooner or later he´d feel every bruise, every cut, but now he was numb. Even his hand didn´t hurt. He supposed that he was in shock. He´d been in shock ever since his father had reached for the kitchen knife. He´d never used a knife before. His fists, yes. And his belt. And on one occasion even his grandfather´s walking stick. After that occasion, he´d hardly been able to walk for a week, and he´d peed blood. He supposed that that incident had scared his father some, because it had been months before his father had hit him again, and not long after that, he´d been sent to the Centre. Where were these memories coming from?

The police wanted to talk to him. He couldn´t figure out why. They´d never bothered before. Not even the time that his father had thrown him down the stairs when he was eight. He was a little old for them to bother now.

His father and brother were talking to the police. Brother? He could hear them through the curtain of the cubicle. They were saying that he must have been hurt walking home, and what was the world coming to? He wanted to laugh, but the shock was wearing off, and he was starting to hurt.

He told the intern, a nice girl who didn´t seem to believe his father´s story, that he wanted to use the bathroom, and would that be okay? She looked at him hard for a moment, and then directed him to the men´s room.

There was a mirror in the men´s room. And the face that looked back from it wasn´t his.

Cooper woke with a start, his heart pounding in his chest. The dream had been so vivid, so real. He had no idea where it had come from. However, as he settled back on his bunk, careful not to disturb any of the other ‘Cards, it was already starting to fade.