"Drew! I'm surprised to see you back so soon. Please, have a seat." Diane Hayden hastily made her way across the office to greet her newest personal assistant.

"You gave me a job to do, Diane. I made sure it had top priority."

"You mean…you found them?"

Drew Ingram sat, refusing to defer to the Secretary General's disability or gender by insisting she sit first or helping her to a chair. He probably wouldn't tell her if she was about to trip over a chair. Diane admired him all the more for it.

Drew quietly placed the Braille files on her desk and pushed them in her direction. He watched impassively as she eagerly read each page before she finally broke into a rare smile.

"Excellent. You've more than proven yourself to me. I can't believe you found them both. You're sure they've both been… eliminated?"

"I handled it personally, Diane. Just as you requested."

"This is absolutely wonderful, Drew. Three down, two to go." Diane spoke more to herself than to the man across from her.

"You know, for hardened terrorists, they were remarkably soft kills." Ingram's voice held just a touch of suspicion and Diane put on her haughtiest expression.

"I warned you when you accepted this post that there would be some assignments of this nature, Drew. A woman in my position often has to make these difficult decisions in order to assure that undesirable factions do not compromise the safety of our government. I'm convinced these women were in league to kill my former associate and friend, June Maddox. As June knew well, there will be times when you must trust me and not question my judgment. In some instances, I believe justice is best meted out quietly in this manner."

"I'll take your word for that, Secretary General. Should we consider this 'assignment' closed?"

"Very nearly, Drew. The other suspect? Did you find out anything?" Diane tried to stem the excitement rising within her. Finally. She finally had someone capable of helping her out of the mess, albeit unknowingly, that she was so deeply embroiled in.

"I've tracked him down to the tank section of Pittsburgh. I kept him under surveillance for about a week. No signs of terrorism that I could see. He mostly seems to be into petty extortion, maybe a little gunrunning and black market stuff. What's the connection to the two women?" She neatly sidestepped the question.

"It's very involved, Drew. It goes back several years to the IVA. I'm really not at liberty to divulge any more particulars. Let's just say that they're enemies of our government and best eradicated. While I applaud the liberal stance our courts have taken to help InVitros who get into trouble, there are cases where a hard line should be drawn. We have to be willing to get our hands dirty to keep America free of terrorism. Don't you agree?"

Drew nodded before he remembered she couldn't see his gesture. "Definitely. I told you when I applied for this job that I was no tank lover, Diane. I respect you for your stand on a issue you believe in, but don't expect me to march in any InVitro rallies." Diane sent her best "press" smile in his direction. If he but knew it that attitude had gotten him hired in the first place.

"Drew, you don't know how much I appreciate your candor. I value all viewpoints and I know you'll continue to be an asset to our office. Perhaps being around InVitros more in the course of our work here will influence you to see their side of the issue more. Now, if you'll just concentrate your commendable efforts on the remaining suspect I believe we can close this case."

"I thought you said there two more, Diane."

"Well, that's true, however the last suspect may have vital information to June Maddox's killer. Until that killer is found, I'm keeping tabs on him myself. That should free you up to deal with last one."

"Do you have a photo of him?" Diane hesitated, uncertain as to his reasons for asking, but she didn't want to rock the boat at this stage of the game. Not when she was so close to victory.

"I believe there's one in here, but I could be mistaken." She took Hawkes´ file from her desk drawer and handed it casually to Ingram. He studied the photo for several moments, his earlier suspicions screaming to life once more.

"Any problems you need to ask me about?"

"No, I think I have all the information I need, Diane. I'll be back in touch within a week."

"Have a safe trip, Drew." Hayden used all her will power not to turn her seat in circles and laugh out loud with joy when he left her office. She took the fact that the two female InVitros had been discovered and killed as a good omen. When Drew took care of the last one, she'd be home free. Well, except for the one on the Saratoga, but thanks to her spies there, something very interesting had come to light. It seemed June's ideas that this tank might prove to be useful had been almost prophetic.

"What are we going to do about it?"

Nathan sighed. Shane was beginning to sound like a music disk jumping its track – the same words, the same idea over and over. He appreciated that she was worried about Coop; they all were; but couldn´t she give it a rest?

"There´s nothing we can do, Shane. We just have to…." Shane cut him off.

"You didn´t see him this morning, West," she insisted. "He was a mess. I don´t know what the hell she´s doing to him."

"Hey," Nate protested, jumping to Madi´s defence. "I don´t think Madi´s doing anything to him, Vansen. I think you´re letting your dislike of Madi cloud your judgement!"

Vansen gave him a scathing look. "I didn´t mean Gibson," she retorted contemptuously. "I was referring to Hagen. I think that woman has a hidden agenda, and I don´t want Coop caught up in it."

Nathan didn´t know Thursday very well, and he suspected that Shane had a point. But after all, it was Lucas and Thursday who had kept Cooper sane all those months ago, and from the little Phousse or Cooper himself had let slip, Nathan gathered that perhaps it was their involvement with Hawkes that had got them into this. He explained as much to Shane. She saw his point, but it didn´t stop her worrying.

"They´re using him," she hissed, keeping her voice as low key as possible. They didn´t want anyone in the Tun to start asking questions. Several had noticed Cooper´s weird behaviour over the last couple of days and were already curious.

"Coop knows what he´s doing, Shane," Nathan hissed back. She snorted.

"Coop is eight years old," she replied heatedly. "He doesn´t know much about anything."

Nathan leapt to his friend´s defence. "Cooper knows a damn sight more about not trusting anyone than you or I. Or have you forgotten how long it took him to trust us?" He met Shane´s glare steadily until she was forced to look away. "Look," he continued more gently. "Coop feels that he´s got to do this. I guess he feels he owes Lucas somethin´. And even if he didn´t, he´s got orders. Brass wants Masterson back, so that´s what they´ll get. And if you´re that worried, remember that Phousse is on the spot. She´ll look out for him. She mothers him almost as bad as you do."

"I do not mother him!" Shane insisted, incensed. Nathan grinned at her, pleased to have got her off track. "As honcho, its my job to keep him alive, to keep all of you alive. That´s all."

"Sure, Shane," Nathan gloated. "I´ll believe you. I understand that you don´t just look into those baby blues of his and melt." That wasn´t strictly true and Nathan knew it. Shane was as tough on Cooper as she was on the rest of them, no matter how fond she was of him. But given the opportunity to get a rise out of her he couldn´t resist. It had been too long since he and Shane had had a good bicker. And at least it had stopped Shane´s tirade about Hagen in its tracks.

Shane sat back in her chair with a disgusted snort. "You know something, West? We ought to get the docs to look at you. That last barrel roll you did obviously scrambled your brains," she retorted acidly. Nathan just grinned at her.

"´Sides," he added, "Coop´s been lookin´ after himself for a long time. He´ll be okay. Don´t worry." She didn´t look convinced.

~*~

Despite Nathan´s protests, Cooper was far from okay. The nightmares had been taking their toll. He was tired and irritable and he felt caged. With his involvement in the search for Lucas, he´d missed the last few missions with the ‘Cards. That didn´t do anything to improve his mood. He had a bad feeling about leaving his friends with their backs guarded by FNKs. What if one of them screwed up and Shane or Nate got themselves killed. He was less worried about Phousse. She was mostly with him or Thursday, not out with the other ‘Cards, although he knew that she chafed at her inability to accompany them almost as much as he did.

He was a man of action rather than reflection. He sometimes wondered if his love of flying had been somehow engineered into him. The thought didn´t bother him as much as it used to. As far as he was concerned, giving him skill in flying and in shooting was the only good thing those lab geeks had ever done for him. It had given him the ‘Cards. He was less thrilled with the other thing they´d given him. Even if the mind stuff had also given him Lucas and Thursday, and he supposed in a weird sort of way had also given him Madi.

Lucas. Right now he was having trouble blocking Lucas out. Those AI bastards were hurting him again. He could feel Lucas´ screams reflected in his mind. He thought if they went on any longer, he´d go insane. But when they stopped was even worse. Every time they did that, Cooper felt his heart lurch, convinced that this time they´d gone too far, and his friend was dead. It would be agonising minutes, sometimes longer, before his friend returned to consciousness, and Cooper could relax a little. At least until they started again.

He scrunched himself deeper into the bed, pulling the pillow tighter over his head, as though that would help. In another corner of the cabin, both Madi and Phousse watched him with helpless eyes.

~*~

Will Mason watched Hawkes sourly from across the hangar bay. He was still stinging from Madi's rejection and the sight of the tank angered him all over again. It didn't help that they'd had target practice that morning and Hawkes had beat him soundly. That in itself wasn't unusual, the Tank habitually won the match if not all the rounds, but Mason was pissed because they'd had to go up against him after flying a sortie. For some reason that no one cared to make public, the InVitro had been excused from several of their missions. All Shane would say was that he was suffering from intense headaches. Mason was torn over that. On one hand he liked Hawkes being gone; he'd flown with West that morning and he liked being in the top four. On the other, it irritated him that Hawkes could out shoot him after being sick for the last couple of days. Damn tanks. He felt himself moving across the area, his anger and resentment carrying him of its own volition.

Cooper, totally unaware of Mason, carefully sighted down the row of older kill markers before painstakingly pressing his latest one to the metal skin of his SA-43. He counted them absently. No one really bragged about their ratio but it gave Cooper a sense of pride that the Wildcards had racked up more kills than any other squadron on the Saratoga, maybe even on the Colin Powell as well. His idle thoughts were a welcome change after the last few hours. He was so relieved just to be in the hanger, knowing that in a couple of hours he would be flying. Life was getting too complicated and knowing that for a bit at least he could put recent events out of his mind and concentrate on what he was good at eased his soul.

Staring at the silhouettes of the enemy, he thought of the Chig on Tigris who had been so enthralled by the pterodactyl. It was at that moment, as he'd watched the Chig so engrossed in the same miracle of nature, that Cooper first delegated a consciousness or a soul to the enemy. He'd never brought the idea up to the rest of the Cards though. As always, he was secretly afraid he was a bit defective. None of the other marines ever mentioned Chig souls so Cooper kept his mouth shut and his thoughts on the subject to himself - but he did look at his kill designations in a new light.

As far as Tigris went, he could never mention that Chig anyway. The 'Cards had been eaten up with curiosity over his absence but he'd given his oath that he'd never disclose the mission and he'd kept that oath -even in the face of McQueen's obvious concern. He had unbent enough to assure the Colonel that they hadn't put him near one of those lie detectors again. That seemed to reassure McQueen. Sometimes though, he had to really fight the urge to talk to McQueen about the mission - to ask him about that incident with the friendly Chig. Cooper wanted to ask him how he would have handled it. He was so deep in his thoughts that he nearly jumped out of his skin at Mason's sarcastic jibe from behind him.

"You mean you have to mark your own kills, Hawkes? I figured McQueen came down here and did that for you, you being so special and all. Must be nice to sit out a mission cause you're head hurts a little."

Cooper slowly stood up, keeping his back to Mason. He forced himself to think about Madi as he meticulously cleaned each of his tools and placed them back in their correct place in his kit. If he let Mason mess with his head and started something McQueen would put him under the brig until Madi´s transport left. Mason edged in closer, feeding an urge to poke and prod at the quiet InVitro a little. He still couldn´t believe Madi preferred this dumb ass tank to him.

"I'm talking to you, Hawkes. Where I come from Tanks know to pay attention to natural borns when they're talking to them." Several pilots nearby were throwing curious glances in their direction and Shane was watching them suspiciously.

Cooper snorted at that, carefully wiping a grease smear off his canopy. "Maybe if you ever say something worth hearing, Mason, I might take the time to listen. But I ain't holdin' my breath." Cooper's tone was dismissing and it made an already ill Mason furious. Unfortunately, he knew just where the chinks in Hawkes' armor lay.

"Maybe sometime I'll tell you how I made your girlfriend scream, Tank." Mason raised his voice and every head in the hangar bay came up at that. Cooper turned around in disbelief. He thought at first that Mason meant he'd hurt Madi.

"What did you say?"

"I said I made her scream. You know, Tank, as in - she wrapped those long legs around me and screamed my name?"

"Coop! No!" Shane yelled but she was too late.

Cooper exploded.

Nathan and Phousse tried to reach him but it was simply impossible. He moved too quickly, consumed by rage. Cooper's first blow hit Will squarely under the chin and knocked him on his back. Mason slid across the rough metal flooring and through the assorted cables before coming to rest against Shane's cockpit. He tried to get up himself but he didn't have time. Cooper was all over him. Mason managed to get one arm loose and smashed his fist into the InVitro's face. Nathan's plane stopped his backward momentum and Hawkes propelled himself back onto the downed marine, ignoring the blood that was pouring out of his nose. Will was still jabbing at Cooper with words.

"What's wrong, Tank? Did you think she was saving it all for you? I gotta tell ya, Hawkes, any woman that would sleep with a Tank would sleep with anybody. If you weren't so ignorant you'd probably know that."

Will caught him in the chest with his foot and tried to scramble away as Cooper once more launched himself toward him. This time Cooper´s fist caught Mason in the nose as well and Will's head exploded in white lights. He felt the back of his skull slam back into the cockpit behind him as Cooper landed on his chest, fists flying.

"Damn it, Hawkes!" Shane joined Nate and Phousse as they tried to get a grip on any limb. Coop's arms were pumping like crazy as he methodically attempted to beat Will Mason to death with his fists. The 'Cards knew he could have broken his neck with one move but he needed the satisfaction of killing him slowly. They were abruptly pushed roughly out of the way as McQueen charged into the fray and went straight for Cooper. He grabbed him by the collar of his flight suit and jerked him off Mason, tossing him to one side like a rag doll. Mason, lightened by about 190 pounds jumped up and instantly made for the InVitro. McQueen caught him and slammed him back down on his backside.

"That's enough! Both of you, on my six. NOW!" McQueen briskly left without waiting to see if he was being followed and with an uncertain look at each other, and one last exchange of glares, Will and Cooper got to their feet and reluctantly followed. The remaining Wildcards stood looking after them, not sure whether they would help or hinder Cooper by talking to McQueen. Nathan's expressive face asked the question. Phousse shrugged and they both looked to Shane.

"Don't look at me! I don't know what to do. Mason started it but McQueen's not going to care. He's been preaching self-control to Cooper since day one. He should have brushed him off."

"Yeah, but you heard what he said, Shane. You told us yourself that if Mason said anything about Madi that Coop would snap."

"Phousse, you start mentioning Gibson to McQueen and I promise you things will go downhill. Coop got himself into this and I guess he's on his own right now. Let's get finished up here and we'll catch up to him later -if McQueen doesn't have him thrown in the brig." Shane turned to the other crew members who'd started to buzz with the new gossip. Ross would know about this within thirty minutes. "All right, people, the show's over, get back to work. We're flying in 45 mikes. Forget this and get your minds back on your planes." She stared the group down until everyone was back on task and then she went back to her plane. Nathan and Phousse exchanged looks before they went back to their own fighters.

McQueen, meanwhile, was glaring holes into the two pilots who stood at attention in front of his desk. Mason's left eye was already turning an interesting shade of purple and Cooper's nose was dripping blood like a leaky faucet. McQueen continued to stare at them silently until they were both dying to squirm but they knew better than to twitch so much as an eyelash. McQueen finally broke the oppressive silence.

"I don't know what this is all about." He stopped to glower again. "I don't want to know. What I do want - what I will have - before either of you leave here today is your understanding that this won't happen again. You men are Marines, not sniveling kids. If you can't get along and work as a team then the Chigs have already won." He gave each of them a dark scowl before continuing. "Now to help you two get to be friends, I'm pairing you up on your next few missions. If you don't learn to work together then you'll just get each other killed - not other, more valuable team members." McQueen could see the screaming arguments in each man's belligerent expression. He didn't give them a chance to argue. "Mason, you're dismissed. Get cleaned up and get back for the mission briefing. Hawkes, you stay here."

Both men answered sharply, "Sir, yes, sir." It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that their CO was pissed big time. Will executed a smart turn toward the hatch, smirking at Cooper as he left. McQueen's thundercloud expression did not bode well for the other pilot.

Cooper stared straight ahead, his thoughts on Mason's words in the hangar bay, cursing his stupidity and calling himself names that Will hadn't even have thought to use. Stupid, defective, Tank. Why didn't you just drive on by Madi Gibson when you first realized you liked her? You knew better. Now because you were so weak, everyone's talking about her just like Mason said. McQueen was right all along; you should have listened instead of trying to do things your own way. You're pathetic, Hawkes. Defective and pathetic, everyone would have been better off if they'd erased you at the facility.

McQueen was staring at Cooper, trying to read the expression on the younger InVitro's face. He didn't even know where to start with Cooper. He tried to think how Glen would handle this, how he had handled him in the course of their friendship. He started by wiping all the anger off his face.

"At ease, Cooper. Relax. We're off the record here and I want you listen. Sit down." Cooper started to decline the offer, - he was still wired -but McQueen's expression brooked no argument. He flopped dispiritedly into the chair and absently held the handkerchief McQueen passed him up to his bloody nose, his mind still half on how to get Madi out of the mess he'd placed her in.

"You know, Hawkes, I've been where you are. People are going to talk about you and Gibson. They're going to say a lot of ugly things." Cooper focused on his face at that. "You can't beat the hell out of everyone who says something you don't like. You've got to practice self control." He stopped speaking as Cooper suddenly shook his head, his misery evident in his eyes.

"You can save this speech, Colonel. You were right. I should have listened. What Mason said, he said everyone would think that about Madi. Lucas, Madi, where's it gonna end? You were right when you said I was just dreaming about her and having a normal life like everyone else. It was stupid and I'm going to end this before anyone else gets hurt because of me."

For some reason, McQueen thought he'd be happier to hear those words. Instead he thought of seeing Reece prop up against Cooper as they'd talked one afternoon in the rec. room. He'd come up on them unexpectedly and watched from the shadows. Cooper had a flight manual and he was showing Reece something in it; the small child had unconsciously leaned against Cooper as he took in everything that Hawkes was telling him. Hawkes' patient voice and the child's trusting expression had made a big impression on McQueen, that and Glen's advice. Now he found himself playing the devil's advocate.

"I never thought of you as a quitter, Cooper."

Cooper looked confused and a little defensive. "I figured you'd be glad. You been telling me this would never work out."

"Well, I've changed my mind, Hawkes. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I think maybe it could work. Gibson seems to know what she's getting into. Part of it anyway. Hell, who am I to tell you not to try? Maybe if I'd tried harder… or Amanda…" McQueen shook those thoughts off. "I… uh. I have something I wanted to give you. If you want it." Ty reached into his desk drawer and retrieved a small box that he handed across the desk.

Cooper took it and after curiously examining the small box, opened it.

"It's a ring."

"Yes, I thought maybe with you and Gibson deciding to get married on board that you might not have thought of rings. Do you have one for her?" Cooper kept looking at the ring in his and hand and back to McQueen, trying to phrase his question right and not show how touched he was by the gesture. The thought of McQueen supporting him seemed to make his idea of breaking up with Madi seem premature. As usual, his and the Wildcard's support meant everything to Cooper.

"This is your ring isn't it? The one you had when you were married?" Ty nodded, reluctant to discuss it's origins and even more reluctant to delve into his reasons for passing his ring on to Cooper.

"Yes, I ..uh.. I don't need it anymore. No use in it laying around here gathering dust if you can use it." Cooper wasn't fooled for a moment.

"I can't accept this, Colonel. I know what it means to you. I mean… I know what it would mean to me if Madi had given it to me. I'm honoured but I can't accept it."

"It does mean a lot to me, Cooper. That's one reason I want you to have it. I can't explain it to you, it just feels right. Maybe I want to pass something on, maybe you'll be luckier with Gibson. I want you to have it. You need to give it to Gibson so she can give it back to you at the ceremony. Better see if it fits."

Cooper glanced at the gold ring in his hand and at McQueen before he reluctantly nodded and took the ring out of the box. He suddenly felt stupid all over again. Green and stupid. His voice was gruff as he confessed his ignorance to the older man. "I don't which finger I'm supposed to wear it on." McQueen showed him and Cooper slipped it on - it was a bit tight until he worked it over his knuckle, then it fit fine. He looked at the band then back to Ty.

"You change your mind and I'll give it back - otherwise I'd be proud to wear it. I've got rings for Madi already. I… thank you." McQueen nodded, obviously embarrassed by Cooper's gratitude.

"Forget it, Hawkes. Rings? You've got an engagement ring and a band?"

"Well, there's one with some kind of stone in it and a plain band like this one." Cooper was still a bit uncertain about the trappings of marriage ceremonies.

"Did she like the engagement ring?"

"I haven't given it to her yet. I thought we had to wait to get married first." McQueen smiled a little. He could remember being just as confused when he'd been in Cooper's position. He glanced at his chronometer and sighed. He had just enough time to fill the kid in and still let him have time to get cleaned up before the mission briefing. He started with the engagement ring.

~*~

Cooper was feeling much more cheerful as he returned to Thursday´s quarters later that evening. McQueen had at least let him go on the mission, rather than throw his ass in the brig as he´d feared, and although the patrol had been very quiet, with scarcely a Chig in sight, just being in the cockpit of his hammerhead once more had helped put things into perspective. He didn´t know if the AIs had given up on hurting Luke, or if Thursday had managed to block him out, but he´s heard nothing while on patrol. He took that as a good sign. He knew that Lucas had been talking to Thursday when he left, and figured that if the AIs had tried anything else he´d have known about it.

However, he still had to force himself to knock on Tee´s door. He felt a wave of shame at that. Lucas was his friend; he shouldn´t need to force himself to help. The thing was, he felt so useless, and they seemed to have accomplished nothing. He was too inexperienced to appreciate that perhaps just being there was a help as far as Lucas was concerned. One of the main tools of the torturer´s trade was isolation, and his presence meant that Lucas hadn´t had to face that.

Thursday was still as he entered the room, easing himself as unobtrusively as possible around the doorframe. She was seated in the middle of the bunk, her knees pulled up against her chest, her arms wrapped tight around them and her face buried in her arms. She raised her head briefly as the door shut, before returning to that position. Her whole body language spoke of intense concentration.

Madi was also in the room, her tired face brightening briefly before she turned her attention back to Thursday. Cooper sidled over to her.

"How is she?" he whispered.

"Not deaf," retorted Thursday. Cooper shared a sheepish glance with Madi. "Don´t whisper, Cooper," she added. "You´re not built for it."

"Any word from…" he asked, hesitantly. She gave him an irritated look.

"He´s still alive, if that´s what you mean," she replied dryly. "If you want to make yourself useful, Cooper, you could talk to him while I take a shower."

"Couldn´t you still talk to him if you´re in the shower?" Cooper asked. He felt ashamed of the impulse which had made him ask as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

She gave him a steady look, before replying, just as dryly, "He gets distracted when he realises I´m naked." Cooper choked a little at that, as once again Thursday got the last word.

He gave Madi a lecherous look as soon as they were alone together. "Talking of getting naked," he commented suggestively. Madi gave a low teasing laugh.

"If I know Thursday, she won´t be in the shower that long, flyboy. And I´ve got to go and make sure that Reece has eaten more today than those candies your squadron insist on feeding him." Cooper sighed disappointedly. Flying always gave him an appetite, and not just for food.

"However, hold onto that thought," she added with a twinkle in her eye that brightened Cooper´s day considerably. "I´ll see you later, babe," she added, heading towards the door. Cooper grabbed her on the way past, kissing her thoroughly. Her head was spinning by the time he finally released her.

"Just something to tide me over," he told her innocently. She was seriously considering taking him up on the offer, there and then, on the floor if necessary, before the sound of the shower in the bathroom dragged her back to her senses.

"Later," she told him sultrily, before turning and leaving before her knees gave way. That boy was going to get her into a lot of trouble.

Back in Thursday´s room, Cooper watched her with hot eyes, before reluctantly seating himself on the bed. Thursday and Phousse were both of the opinion that Lucas shouldn´t be left alone if possible. It gave him too much time to brood. That meant that either he or Thursday were constantly there, except for the brief periods when the AIs let him sleep. Personally, Cooper thought that that was overkill. Lucas knew where they were when he needed them. Maybe he wanted some quiet time, just to… think, or rest or anything. Cooper found having to constantly make conversation exhausting, and he couldn´t see why Lucas wouldn´t feel the same way.

Eventually, he heard the shower cease in the small bathroom next door. He sighed, a little heavily, realising that he was just prevaricating, and that despite the way he felt, he´d be better off talking to Luke rather than explaining to Tee why he hadn´t. Reluctantly, he closed his eyes and propped himself against the bulkhead. He opened his mind, and felt the brief sensation of dizziness he always got before he got the vague feeling of colour and shape that was Lucas.

It was obvious, even to Cooper with his limited social skills, that Lucas did not want to talk. There was the sensation of weariness that sapped his own strength, and a throbbing in his wrist which faded as soon as Lucas put up his defences. There was also a bitter taste of fear in his mouth which also faded. The memory remained, however, even as the feeling of Lucas changed to become the ‘cool blue´ and ‘silver´ that Cooper was gradually becoming to realise was the signature of his friend. Cool and in control, or at least projecting that even if he wasn´t.

Lucas was more than tired, Cooper realised. There was no attempt at conversation. No polite questions about how the mission had gone, or even where he had been. Nothing but this façade of ‘blue´ hiding just how afraid Lucas really was. Cooper shuffled uncomfortably on the bed. He had no idea of what to say or do. You could hardly ask someone who´s being tortured how they were. Or how your day had been, or the weather. It was the first time that Cooper had been lost for words with Lucas, and it was more than uncomfortable. It was frightening.

He knew how little help he was being, but was powerless to change that. Desperately he wracked his brains for something to say, and came up blank.

You don´t have to say anything.

Cooper squirmed with embarrassment. He definitely hadn´t intended for Lucas to pick up his confusion.

If you´re going to feel guilty, Cooper, I´d rather you didn´t talk to me at all. I don´t need babysitting every hour of the day.

The words stung, even if the tone didn´t. Although Cooper realised that Lucas was merely trying to put him at his ease, make him feel more comfortable, he was affronted at the thought that somehow Lucas was prepared to dismiss him like that, conveniently forgetting that Lucas was merely reflecting his own thoughts on the subject back to him.

That irritated Lucas – Cooper could tell. Fragments of thoughts reached him; thoughts like ‘child´ and ‘insecure´ and ‘don´t need this´. The thoughts were entirely justified, but again that did nothing to improve Cooper´s disposition. He was also beginning to feel tired after the latest mission, and behind it all were his feelings of guilt and reluctance which aggravated it. A sharp report was on the tip of his ‘tongue´ when he felt Lucas abruptly break the connection.

Lucas rarely if ever lost his temper with Cooper, and Cooper´s first thought was that the connection had broken because Lucas had been hurt or that something had happened. He didn´t realise that Lucas had deliberately broken the connection because he didn´t want his pain and fear and rage find an outlet in Cooper. If Cooper had realised this, things may have been very different.

Cooper re-established the connection immediately, pushing straight into Lucas´ mind with the force of his concern. Lucas couldn´t shield. Cooper flinched as the feelings of pain and fear and guilt overwhelmed him, and then there was something more. Something that Lucas was unable to hide from him anymore. He was ruthless as he delved into Lucas´ mind to find more facts, his anger fuelling his search and enabling him to ignore the pain this caused both of them.

The blow, when it came was unexpected. He´d forgotten about Thursday. She stood in front of him now, her eyes blazing, even as she broke the connection between him and Lucas. His head rang a little from the after-effects of her mental slap. He was aware of her attempting to reassure Lucas, to determine that he hadn´t been seriously hurt by Cooper´s invasion of his mind. She never took her eyes off him while she did this. Eventually, she spoke.

"If you ever do anything like that again, Cooper, you won´t have to worry about AIs or Chigs killing you. I´ll do it myself. You never, ever do something like that. My people have a saying - ‘You shoot mad dogs and rogue telepaths.´ And to turn on Lucas…"

Cooper´s anger rekindled. "You knew. You both knew and you didn´t tell me. What right have you…"

"Grow up Cooper," she spat. "I can understand that you´re hurt and upset, but that is hardly an excuse to hurt Lucas like you just have. After all he´s done for you."

"Like lying to me," he yelled. "You had no right to keep something like that to me."

"Maybe," she said coolly, "but did it ever occur to you that maybe we didn´t tell you because we didn´t know how to. Neither of us have ever claimed to be perfect, Cooper. Nobody is. I understand that. And, believe me, that is the only reason why your guts are still inside you rather than decorating this cabin´s wall."

They glared at each other for several moments. Cooper was the first to break eye contact. Thursday winced as the door slammed behind him. This she really didn´t need. She turned her attention back to reassuring her lover.

~*~

Madi got back to Thursday's cabin just in time to see Cooper leaving.

"Cooper, wait." She hurried down the passageway but he didn't slow down until she caught his arm and turned him around. Her breath caught in her throat at the misery written all over his face.

"Baby, what's wrong? Is it Lucas? Is he…?" Madi couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence but Cooper was already shaking his head and pulling away from her.

"No, he's alive, Madi. I've gotta go." He seemed almost desperate to get away from her.

"Cooper, what's happened? Please, I can tell something terrible is wrong."

Cooper just shook his head, anguish evident in his eyes. "Ask Thursday, she and Lucas seem to have all the answers. I can't talk right now, Madi. Just leave me alone."

Madi watched in hurt confusion as he pulled away and left, hurriedly moving down the dark and shadowy passageway. Madi stood there until he was out of sight before turning back to the wardroom hatch with narrowed eyes. She entered without knocking, going straight to Thursday who sat on the lower bunk, obviously expecting her.

"We need to talk."

Thursday sighed. "Madi, I'm sorry you both had to find out this way. Lucas and I had planned to tell you in a much nicer fashion."

"Tell us what, Thursday? What in the hell is going on here?" Thursday remained silent, watching Madi with an inscrutable expression. Madi's tone became even more demanding. "I've always done my part, Thursday. I've played along with Lucas on all his jobs, been his good little operative. I've never asked him why - never dug for more information than he was willing to give me. Not once. Not even when it was Cooper. I trusted Lucas enough to know he'd never have sent me to the Saratoga to babysit some InVitro Marine if it wasn't important. Even after I fell in love with him I didn't press Lucas for the details because I trusted you both. Now I want to know what's going on. It's not just me and Cooper, we have the children to think about too."

Thursday avoided Madi's eyes, trying to decide what to tell her. She hated to do this as much as she knew Lucas had hated revealing it to Cooper. Not because she thought Madi couldn't handle it but because she didn't want her exposed to the basic, vicious inhumanity of someone like Diane Hayden. Though Madi had a warrior's heart and courage, she was a marshmallow when it came to Cooper, or any stray for that matter - Reece and the girls were proof of that. And despite her years of work for the government and for Lucas she could still be incredibly naïve about the evil in people. Thursday credited that to Madi being raised by her absent-minded father in a laboratory away from the depravity of the real world. Thinking of Bernard Gibson and his file made the painful band around her head tighten even more. She felt weak with delayed shock and slightly sick. Madi, however, continued mercilessly.

"It's the file isn't it? You never told me what was in it even though my father specifically told me it was about Cooper. Is he in trouble, Thursday? Sick? What? It's not like you to keep things from me."

She closed her eyes, hoping for guidance. Madi was bound to find out sooner or later. Better bite the bullet; she´d seen what ‘later´ could do. "Madi, the person that's been trying to kill Cooper and that kidnapped Lucas is Diane Hayden. I think you might have figured that out from what I mentioned to you earlier." Madi nodded, she'd guessed whom, but couldn't figure out the why. Tee saw the questions in her eyes before she dropped the bomb. "She's his biological mother, Madi."

"Whose biological mother?"

"Cooper's." Madi blinked as if that would help her process the words. Was Thursday okay? Could the stress of worrying over Lucas somehow have caused her to suffer from delusions?

"Thursday," Madi began calmly. "Cooper is an InVitro. He never had parents."

"Madi, that's what your father wanted to tell you. He received the material from a man who tried to blackmail Diane Hayden. We believe that's how Hayden found out about Cooper. Cooper is the result of genetic experimentation and Hayden donated the egg; the scientist conducting the research, her lover at the time, used his own genetic material as well. He wanted established genetic codes and specific, concrete traits for his work - Cooper was designed by a very skilled man."

"Richard Noble," she gasped. Thursday nodded, surprised.

"How did you know?"

"McQueen mentioned him to me." Madi shook her head in confusion. "Something about if I could prove Cooper was his heir he'd get lots of money or something like that." She dismissed that. Money had never meant much to Madi as long as her basic needs were met. "And you told Cooper about this?"

Thursday nodded tiredly. "Lucas let it slip mentally. They're hurting him and his mind is wandering." She decided not to tell Madi exactly how Cooper had found out. "We never meant for him to find out like this. It was a great blow and a disappointment to him, to find out that a man who could have been his legal father is now dead. It's Hayden that's really troubling him though. It's beyond his comprehension right now, I'm afraid. He's carried such high ideals of family in his head for so long, built up such dreams, that it's very hard for him to understand that he has a blood relative but he can never go to her. Instead he has to avoid her at all costs."

Madi ran her hands over her face. "Hayden. I take it that she's trying to get rid of the evidence that she was involved with the InVitro programme in this manner. Especially since she's got such good publicity with her stance on InVitro rights. I mean if you donated eggs to help during the infertility plague that was one thing - but to donate eggs to produce a child to be raised and experimented with like a lab rat…that's unforgivable. And she was on the Board of Governors at Aerotech - she knew what could happen to a child in the labs…that's monstrous." Tee nodded in agreement, too exhausted to get into the intricacies of the whole plan.

"What are we going to do? You surely aren't going to let her get away with kidnapping and the murders of those two pilots? And my father's friend that sent him the blackmail packet - she probably had him killed as well."

"I don´t want her to get away with it, Madi, but there´s another person involved that I haven't told you about - and he's looking forward to dealing with Diane Hayden."

"Another person?"

"Thomas Noble. Cooper's paternal grandfather as it were."

Madi sat down hard on the other bunk. "Grandfather...? What did Cooper say about him?"

Thursday looked even wearier. "He doesn't know." Madi's head snapped up at her words.

"He doesn't know?! You're going to put him through this again? Isn't it enough that you've used him until he's completely exhausted and feeling so guilty to boot about Lucas, Thursday?"

Thursday's look held a warning this time. "I had no choice, Madi. I couldn't do it without him and I know you want Lucas back, too."

Madi didn't back down from the hostile look. "You're putting too much on him. His talent is new, Tee. How do you know you're not going to end up hurting him - do some sort of permanent damage? First Lucas, then…parents, now a grandfather he doesn't know about?? You should have told him all of it."

"It's not that simple, Madi," Thursday snapped back. "We've worked for Noble countless times, your last job on the Saratoga was at his request." Madi looked surprised. "That's right, Noble was the person who hired Lucas to protect Cooper. Thomas Noble is not some doddering, sweet little old man, Madi. He's a ruthless businessman who is worth millions. He's very powerful and we tread carefully around him.

"I'm just not sure what his ulterior motive is, although I guess needing an heir would be great motivation if you've worked as hard as Noble has a acquiring material possessions. I would guess that Cooper might be a very rich young man if his heritage were proven through DNA testing. Noble has established an empire and I should imagine that now that his son is dead he'd consider Cooper the next in line to inherit. We're not even sure we should ever tell Cooper about him."

Madi suddenly felt sick inside - in a way she hadn't felt since she thought she'd lost Cooper after he discovered Lucas had hired her to guard him. A rich grandfather who could spoil you rotten with lots of boy toys, money, and a huge home seemed a lot more enticing than a just-getting-by wife, her three stray children, their lazy cat, and a broken down farmhouse in Missouri.

"Madi, I'm ashamed of you." Thursday's disapproving voice broke into her thoughts. "You of all people should know Cooper better than that." It was a sign of how troubled she was that Madi didn't even realize she hadn't spoken her worries aloud. "And you can forget about moving back to your grandmother's old farmhouse. You're going to stay with us right where you are. My sisters and I love having the children so close and Reece is just becoming bearable." Thursday deliberately threw that last in to draw Madi's attention away from her troubled thoughts. She wasn't disapointed. Madi went right to his defense.

"There's nothing wrong with Reece, Thursday, he's just unique."

"Hmm. I guess that does sum him up nicely. Actually I admire the little shit. He's got spunk and he's smart and tough. Like Cooper, who is more than capable of handling this." Madi met Thursday's piercing yellow eyes with her own troubled aqua ones. She got the point but now she had a whole different problem.

"Now I don't want him to know about Noble. What if he takes him away from us, Thursday? I don't have anything that can compete with a man worth millions; the only thing I have of any monetary value is the farm my grandmother left me."

Thursday wanted to shake her so badly she had to close her hands into fists. "Madi, you 're not usually so stupid so I'm not going to smack you. You have something to offer Cooper that's worth more than all the money in the world. You love him and your children love him - for himself. Now stop being an idiot and go show him. I'll be fine here."

"He said he wanted to be left alone." Thursday smiled a little to herself at the lost tone in Madi's voice. She'd heard the same note in Cooper's voice when he thought Madi didn't want him around. It was sweet really, the way love had forged these two independent souls together. Now if only she could find the other half of her heart life would worth living again.

"He might have said that but I know Cooper. He needs you to be there for him, Madi. Just don't push him and give him time - he'll open up when he's ready. He and Lucas seem to have that in common."

Madi nodded and started towards the hatch, still torn over these new revelations.

"Madi." Thursday's stern voice stopped her before she got to the door and she turned around questioningly. "Remember. Don't mention Thomas Noble to Cooper. It's not the right time." Madi nodded opened the door.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Thursday."

Thursday sighed. "So do I, Madi. So do I."

~*~

Madi made her way back to her quarters, tired and confused. She´d looked for Cooper everywhere she could think of. She knew that she wasn´t as familiar as the other ‘Cards with all of Cooper´s hidey-holes, but she´d hoped that she´d manage to find him, and calm him down. She vividly remembered the pain on his face when she´d run into him outside Thursday´s quarters, and the thought of him now coping with that pain all on his own wrung her heart.

While it may have made more sense to ask the ‘Cards for help in locating her lost marine, Nathan and Shane were off on another mission. She really didn´t want to have to explain the situation to McQueen, so that left him out of the equation. In fact, the only one she would have felt comfortable asking for help was Nathan. While Phousse was grounded just as Cooper was, she was a little wary of the quiet black girl. She knew that Cooper thought the world of her, but she also knew that Phousse and Shane were tight. She could hardly expect Phousse not to extend the same enmity towards her as Shane did.

So she´d trailed around the ship on her own until her feet were sore, and had come up with nothing. Any attempts she´d made to try and reach Cooper with her mind had also come up blank. She knew that she was nowhere near as talented as the other three, but she expected to at least have picked up something, even if it was a reassurance that he was alright. Nothing. He was shielded tighter than a nuclear reactor.

She checked on Reece, glad to see that her troubled angel was asleep. One less for her to worry about. She was still standing there, her eyes distant, watching the even rise and fall of his chest, when she realised that she was no longer alone. She turned, startled, to see Phousse´s concerned face behind her. She hadn´t realised that the marine was in the room.

"Are you all right, Madi?" the marine asked, concern also reflected in her voice. Her warm brown eyes glanced from Madi to her son.

"Phousse!" Madi exclaimed. "You startled me."

"Sorry. I didn´t mean to. But you haven´t answered my question." Madi turned away from her to fuss over the covers covering Reece, avoiding Vanessa´s eyes. She had the feeling that the young marine could see straight through her, despite the fact that Thursday maintained that her talent was no greater than Madi´s own. She avoided the question once more.

"Have you seen Cooper, Lieutenant Damphousse?" she asked.

"No," Phousse replied. "And call me Vanessa. And you still haven´t answered my question. Is something wrong?" She watched, even more concerned, as Madi crumpled a little. She understood how the woman felt. She was fond of Cooper too, and watching him suffer over the last few days had been difficult. She felt helpless, despite the fact that Doctor Hagen maintained that her presence had a soothing effect for both of them, blocking out the worst of the noise from the ‘Toga when their defences were down. If she was finding it difficult, how much more difficult must it be for Madi, who loved Cooper to distraction. Despite Madi´s fears, Phousse was not on Shane´s side over this. Oh, she was sorry that Shane was hurting so bad, but like Nathan she accepted that Cooper loved and needed Madi, and believed that deep in her heart Shane saw this too. She was torn between her friends, but didn´t blame Madi for that.

Madi sat herself on the other bunk, opposite to Reece. Vanessa had always been struck with just how feisty Madi was, but now all of the fight seemed to have gone out of her. This worried her more than anything.

"Madi?" she prompted, this time with a note of warning in her voice. She intended to get an answer out of someone, and since Madi was the only ‘someone´ available, she guessed it would have to be her. Madi sighed again and still refused to meet her eyes for the longest time. Eventually, Phousse´s strength of will almost forced her to.

"I´m just worried about Cooper," she explained. "This isn´t easy for him, feeling what´s happening to Lucas, and he doesn´t know how to deal with it. It´s hard for him. He feels responsible, and no amount of reassurance from any of us that it´s not his fault seems to get through. And now he and Lucas have had this blow-up…" Her voice trailed off, as she returned to her own, dark thoughts. Phousse seized on the last sentence like a rottweiler.

"What blow-up?" she demanded. She´d heard some, but not all, of what had happened between Thursday and Madi through the wall. Enough to tell that something was up, but not what. Madi cursed her runaway tongue. She hadn´t meant to let that slip. She didn´t want any of the ‘Cards discussing Cooper and his situation, strangely jealous that they may even have as much right to worry over him as she had.

"I don´t know the details," she hedged, avoiding Phousse´s eyes once more. "But it´s hardly surprising in the circumstances. Lucas is in a lot of pain, and is frightened, and Cooper… well, much as I love Cooper, I´ve got to admit that he´s not necessarily the most understanding of people. I don´t know what went on between them, but I´m sure it will blow over." She prayed it would, anyway. "Cooper just went off somewhere, and I suspect he´s brooding. I just don´t want him to brood too long."

Phousse considered the woman in front of her for several moments, trying to gauge the truth in her words. She knew that Madi wasn´t telling her something, that much was obvious from her body language, and you didn´t need to be psychic to pick that up, but she was willing to accept that what she had told her was true.

"Don´t worry, Madi," she attempted to reassure her, "if I know Coop, he´ll camp out somewhere until he´s sure that we´ve noticed he´s gone, and when we´re good and worried, he´ll come back. He used to do this all of the time when he felt we were neglecting him."

Madi laughed a little shakily at that. "Just like Reece," she expanded. Phousse nodded in agreement.

"I guess so," she commented, "judging by what Coop´s told us about him." Madi looked a little startled by that. "Didn´t you know?" Phousse explained. "Cooper talks about him all of the time – him and the girls. ‘Bout enough to drive us all insane, especially Shane." At Madi´s inquisitive look, she explained, "Shane is honcho, and that means she gets a little irritated when our minds aren´t on the jobs. Sometimes I think that if I hear ‘Cut the skipchatter´ one more time, I´ll shoot her myself. But she´s a good honcho, and we know she´s only hard on us ‘cos she wants to keep us alive. Can´t say that I can blame her for that."

"He really talks about the kids that much?" Madi queried, her face glowing.

"Almost all of the time. At least when he´s not talking about you," Phousse teased gently, watching the woman in front of her lighten up a little.

"I´ll bet that drives Shane insane as well," Madi commented acerbically, before glancing at Phousse, a little aghast at her remark. She couldn´t believe that she´d said something like that to someone who was one of Shane´s closest friends.

Luckily Phousse didn´t take offence. "Nah," she said. "No more than she moans at Nathan when he moons on about Kylen. Shane´s really cool about you two, in spite of what you think, Madi. Of course, if you ever hurt him again, she will hunt you down and use that ka-bar of hers." Madi laughed a little at that. "And of course, I would too." Madi nodded good-naturedly at that. She hadn´t really expected anything different.

"That reminds me," Phousse added, changing the subject slightly. "Did Cooper ever tell you about how Shane bought him his first Christmas present?" Madi shook her head, a little jealous. "Yeah. It was a CD. See Shane´s not all bad. She has a soft centre. She got us all one, and told us if we got mushy, she´d knock our blocks off."

"What did she get you?" Madi wanted to know.

"A ka-bar," Phousse deadpanned. She waited for Madi´s hysterical laughter to die down. "Hey, I liked that present. And let´s face it, there isn´t exactly a ‘Victoria´s Secret´ onboard the ‘Toga."

"What did she get Nathan?" Madi grinned.

"Socks."

This time they both laughed. Madi felt a lot of the tension drain away, and she felt able to relax for the first time in days. It had been too long since she was able to have a goofy conversation like this with someone, and just shoot the breeze. Much as she loved Thursday, and she did, dearly, Thursday could be a little superior sometimes, seeming to be just too wrapped up in her work or in Lucas to just goof off. And Lucas was too much of a smart-mouth sometimes, although on a few memorable occasions…

"That reminds me," she giggled. "Did I ever mention the time Lucas and I sneaked into school and reprogrammed all of the computers in the science lab so that when the lab assistant surfed the naughty skin sites on the Net, there was a direct feed through to the Principal´s office?" Phousse stared at her, open-mouthed. "Well, I was just lookout. Lucas did all of the work. He was a little annoyed that the lab assistant had carelessly trashed six weeks work." Phousse howled with laughter before Madi managed to shush her, gesturing towards her son. Phousse covered her mouth, laughing silently into her hands, as tears of mirth ran down her cheeks.

Madi´s grin echoed Phousse´s mirth. They´d been good times. Finally Phousse was able to control her laughter, and managed to wheeze out, "But he looks so… respectable."

"Respectable? Lucas! Let me tell you…"

And for the next couple of hours, Madi kept Phousse entered with tales of her friend´s various illegal and funny stunts, until both of them were incapacitated with mirth.

~*~

Shane and Nathan showered and made their way to the Tun after a hard day of ground manoeuvre drills. By the time they arrived almost every table was taken, so they were very glad to see Phousse holding one for them far enough away from the jukebox so that they could talk. She´d also sprung for a couple of pitchers of beer for them, kissing her drink credits for the month away; but she figured they deserved a treat since they´d had to pull more weight without Cooper and herself to help.

"Thanks, Phousse, you´re a lifesaver." Shane took a sip of her beer as she scouted out the room. "Where´s Coop?" She looked at Nate who looked to Vanessa for help.

Vanessa shook her head. "I´m not sure myself. I know Madi´s been checking out all his hidey-holes. We had quite a day while you guys were out. First something bad happened between him and Lucas and Coop took off for parts unknown. Then Madi and Thursday had a blow-up. I was next door in Madi´s cabin and I heard them. I´ve been staying over there when Cooper´s with Dr. Hagen. Madi finally came in and she was all upset because she couldn´t find Cooper so I calmed her down and we talked for a couple of hours and then I sent her off with a map of the ship so she could look for him again. Poor Madi, I think she´s catching it from all sides and she´s homesick for her twins on top of that." Vanessa guiltily glanced a Shane as she realised what she said. Sometimes, despite what she´d told Madi, mentioning her to Shane wasn´t a very good idea. Shane, however, had other things on her mind.

"Talk? What did you guys have to talk about for two hours?" Phousse gave a little internal sigh. Much as she loved her friend, she could be a little unreasonable sometimes, especially about Cooper.

"Stuff." The answer obviously didn´t satisfy Shane, who continued to glare at her. Phousse met Nathan´s sympathetic look. "We talked about Lucas and the stuff they got up to when they were kids. Apparently, she and Lucas go back quite a ways, they´ve known each other for years. You know we thought that Lucas was just some geek? Turns out he was a bit of a wild one. Some of the stuff he got up to when he was a kid…"

"Anything else?" Shane interrupted, an edge in her voice. Phousse sighed again. She and Nate glanced at each other sympathetically. Shane had been querulous ever since Madi came on board and, since Vanessa and Cooper had been assigned to watch Dr. Hagen, Nathan had the dubious pleasure of keeping Shane company. It looked like it was going to be a long evening.

"We talked about kids, but you don´t want to hear about that." Shane glared at her again. Phousse stared her down. Nathan decided that it was going to be up to him to make peace.

"How is Coop? Is he holding up?"

"He seems to be," Phousse replied. "I think he just needs some space. You know, he used to do this a lot, so I guess it´s to be expected that he´d go underground for a while." Shane grunted, her mind now on other things.

"I still don´t trust those people with Cooper. If they´re supposed to be such good friends then why are they keeping him so upset? What in the hell did they say to him that made him run away? He´s not done that in months." Phousse shook her head.

"I don´t know, Shane. Madi didn´t say, she just assured me that Lucas and Thursday had the best intentions where Cooper is concerned. Like I said, we, uh, mostly talked about other things anyway."

This time Shane did give Vanessa a hard look. "Getting awfully tight with Madi, aren´t you Phousse?"

"Lay off Phousse, Shane." Nathan chimed in once more, always the peacekeeper.

"She´s a good person, Shane - and she loves Cooper. I can really tell that by talking to her. I know she wouldn´t let Lucas or Dr. Hagen anywhere near him if she didn´t trust them."

"I just want Masterson found and things back to normal around here," Shane groused. "All these civilians are making me nervous."

"We all want that, Shane. Even Madi, though it will mean she´ll be sent back home. At least now that she and Cooper are getting married she´ll have a good chance of adopting twins." Vanessa became aware of the deafening silence her words brought to the table and she glanced to Nathan for help.

"Married?" Shane glanced from one guilty face to another. "Married!?"

"Shane, I just found out today. I´m sorry...I thought you knew."

"Shane…" Nate started to console her. He knew she was more upset about Cooper not coming to tell her himself than about the actual event. It was what she missed the most about their relationship – the fact that before Madi, Cooper had confided in her, asked her advice. Now Coop felt much too uncomfortable mentioning Madi to Shane to ask her anything. He turned to Nathan for help these days.

Shane held up a hand to stop Nathan´s sympathetic words and took a deep gulp of beer. "Okay. It´s okay. Actually I´m very happy for them." She met the sceptical looks with a rueful grin. "Okay, I´m lying through my teeth. I hate it. It´s like when Nathan got married and I thought it would split us up, but it didn´t so I guess this will be okay as well."

Nate nodded, placing a comforting hand on Shane´s shoulder. "She´s good for him, Shane. She loves him and she´ll watch out for him."

Shane nodded. She could only hope her friends were right.

"Who´s round is it, anyway?" was all she said. She met the grins from the rest of her team. "I guess that means it´s mine."

~*~

Cooper was trying very hard not to stay mad. It wasn´t easy. He knew that Lucas really didn´t need this right now, but he was still having a hard time hiding his resentment. Lucas should have told him. He had no right to keep that information from him. Lucas knew how important finding a family was to him, and he´d known that he had one, and Lucas had kept that information from him. It wasn´t fair. Cooper knew that that thought was childish, but he couldn´t help it. It wasn´t fair.

No matter how hard he tried to hide the anger, he knew Lucas could feel it. That made him feel even worse, which in a weird way made him even madder at Lucas. It was a vicious circle, and he couldn´t break out of it. He only hoped that Lucas could also feel his regret.

All right Cooper, ask. Lucas sounded even more tired, if that was possible. That made Cooper feel even more guilty, which in turn made him even madder.

Are you okay? he forced himself to ask.

I´d be a lot better if you´d just get it off your chest. You want to yell at me, Cooper, just go ahead and do it. Anything would be better than this.

Cooper considered the wisdom of that, and then thought wisdom be damned. He needed to know or he wouldn´t be any good to anyone. He really didn´t care at this point if that was selfish. Why didn´t you tell me? Why did you keep it to yourself? Didn´t you trust me? He didn´t ask the questions which were really on his mind. Did Lucas and Thursday keep it from him because they needed a way to control him. Or because he was a tank, did that mean that his feelings didn´t matter. Of course, Lucas picked that up anyway, in spite of the pain he was in. They´d been so close the past few days, how could he not?

You want the real reason, Cooper? It wasn´t anything to do with trust. It was to do with pain. Cooper was confused. He couldn´t think what Lucas meant. Pain for Lucas? Did that mean that he would never have known if Lucas hadn´t been hurt so bad, hadn´t been able to keep it from him anymore? No, Cooper. I didn´t want to hurt you. I know how much you´ve wanted to find some family, some connection. I didn´t want you to find out that one of those you should have had a connection with wants you dead. There was a long pause, before Cooper caught the rest of Lucas´ quiet thought. I know what that feels like.

What do you mean? Cooper demanded. He could feel Lucas´ mental sigh.

I mean, his friend clarified, that I know what it means to know that someone in your family, someone who´s supposed to love you unconditionally because they are your family cares so little, or has such a twisted soul that they want to see you dead.

There was a uncomfortable silence while Cooper absorbed this. He still wasn´t sure he got exactly what Lucas was on about, but he was beginning to guess, he just didn´t want to believe it. He´d figured out, as he´d told Madi, that those nightmares he´d been having were somehow connected to Lucas, and that Lucas had been having them too. That was hardly surprising given his current situation, and Cooper must have caught remnants, traces of some of them, which had in turn caused his own. The dreams, however, were not enough to give him an understanding of what was causing them, but enough to give him some unfavourable impressions. And now he knew as fact what he hadn´t even wanted to suspect. He just wasn´t sure it was something he wanted to face. In an odd sort of way, he´d looked up to Lucas, relied on him to have all of the answers, for him to be the calm and cool one, the one who was unflappable, the one who never lost his temper, the one who wouldn´t have made a fool of himself with those camera geeks. And now to discover that Lucas was somehow as flawed as he was, that he had his own inner demons, that was uncomfortable. Cooper had enough of a problem dealing with his own painful memories sometimes. He didn´t want to have to deal with someone else´s. And he knew that was selfish of him, he just didn´t have the experience to do anything else. And the only other role model he´d had, Colonel McQueen, hadn´t equipped him with the tools to do it.

Now it was time for Lucas to get angry, and that made Cooper feel more of a louse. You think, said Lucas, that natural borns have everything their own way? That they store up all of that nastiness that humans are capable of and direct it only at InVitros? I´d say act your age, Cooper, but you probably are.

That hurt. And it hurt more because there was more than an element of truth in what Lucas said. Cooper had believed that, although he´d never consciously examined this belief. He had believed that if he´d been a natural born, then everything would have been perfect with his life. Cooper wanted to let the rising tide of anger overwhelm him, take him with it as it had so often in the past, but he couldn´t. Because underneath that anger of Lucas´, underneath the bitterness and the harsh words, there was an air of defeat that he could feel, something he´d never felt from Lucas before. It was frightening. It meant Lucas was giving up, and if Lucas gave up there was no hope for any of them, especially him. It was scary to think how much he´d come to rely on Lucas.

He thought of Nathan, then, the way that he and Nathan had become friends, good friends in spite of everything between them. In spite of the racial insults Nate had first taunted him with. In spite of the way that he´d been in Nate´s face all of the time, gone out of the way to annoy and irritate him. If he and Nate could forgive each other that, why couldn´t he forgive Lucas and Thursday for keeping something from him that only caused him pain. And Lucas was right, he was acting like a kid. No wonder they hadn´t trusted him with it, they must have known how he´d react. He´d do something he´d always done - retreat into silence and resentment, shutting the entire world out. Well, not this time. Maybe it was time he grew up.

Lucas, he sent, hesitantly. I´m sorry. I´m sorry I was mad, and I´m sorry I hurt you. He could feel Lucas´ relief at his words, and the feelings behind them.

It´s okay, Cooper. I´m sorry too. So you might as well ask the rest.

Cooper, hesitated again. There was so much he wanted to know, but now he was afraid to ask. He grasped his courage with both hands and took the plunge. Do I have a father? he wanted to know.

Not exactly. The man who donated about 30% of your DNA is now dead. Lucas´ ‘voice´ was gentle. He´s been dead a long time, Cooper. He felt Lucas hesitate for a moment before continuing. You shouldn´t judge your worth by the way she´s behaved, Cooper. It´s not a reflection on you, it´s a reflection of her complete egocentricity. Egocentricity. That was one of the words he was going to have to get Nate to explain to him. It means, Cooper, that she´s so obsessed with herself that she can´t see anyone else. Anything that could harm her has to be destroyed. It doesn´t matter who you are Cooper.

But it matters that I´m an InVitro. He felt Lucas hesitate again.

Yes, Cooper. But it could have been anything. I´m not an InVitro, but my father..... Well, lets just say he had a great deal in common with Diane Hayden.

Did he try to kill you? asked Cooper innocently.

One of these days, Cooper, you and I are going to have a very long talk about the meaning of the word ‘tact´. Yes, he tried to kill me. He wasn´t obsessed with it the way Hayden is, he just snapped. I still don´t know what made him do it, or any of the other things.

Cooper thought about that hard for a moment. There were a number of other questions he wanted to ask, but before he could, Lucas was in his head again. He sounded bone weary. I´m tired, Coop. I want to sleep so badly. He sounded more than bone weary. He sounded as though he had reached the end of the road.

It´s okay, Lucas. We can talk later, Cooper hastened to reassure him. And then Lucas was gone.

~*~

She finally found him on the observation deck, folded into a nice little cranny which allowed him to keep his back to the wall yet afforded him a stellar view that kept his claustrophobia at bay. He sat tensely with his arms resting on his updrawn knees, staring sightlessly out into space even when she approached him and dropped silently down beside him. She sat quietly, then, after a moment, began lightly stroking his back through the soft cotton of his marine-issue T-shirt with her fingertips. He stiffened then gradually relaxed, the way Reece always did, as the comfort of her touch soothed him. She kept up the stroking until she felt some of the tension leave his tight shoulders.

"Big day, huh?" His surly shrug was her only answer and he had yet to look her in the face.

"Thursday told me about…" It felt so weird for her to say it that she couldn't imagine how odd it must be for Cooper. "…about your…parents. I'm so sorry, Cooper." He turned from his study of the heavens at that, truly puzzled, and still very distant.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I'm sorry that your dream of finding some family has ended like this. I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

He coolly turned back to space. "I don't need your pity, Madi."

This time it was Madi who struggled for the right words. He was such hard work sometimes. Him and his damn InVitro pride. His distance scared her but Madi would be damned before she'd lose him over this discovery - not after what they'd been through together. "I never said I pitied you, Cooper. I said… I meant… I know this hurts and I hate anything that causes you pain." He remained silent but he eventually reached down and took her hand, folding it into his larger, callused one. She waited patiently for him to put his thoughts together.

"I thought it would change me to know that I had family. In all my dreams it was good and I was part of something; but this…" he shook his head, "…it's so hard, Madi. It hurts to know that you were part of someone and they just threw you away, like garbage. I believed that when I found family I would feel like somebody…but I just feel like something that was never wanted, same as before. And the really bad part is that she's not happy with that. She wants me dead. My… mother… wants me dead. She'll kill Lucas to get to me." Madi clutched his hand tightly in wordless comfort as he continued.

"I've been thinking about Reece while I was sitting up here. How he must feel sometimes when he thinks about his parents deserting him. It's no wonder he shuts everyone out. He must feel the same way I do right now, only he's been feeling this way since he was big enough to know what was going on."

"You're right …but he doesn't shut everyone out. He lets a few people in to see who Reece Gibson is and who he's going to be. And I think we're really lucky to have him, weird stuff and all. I believe there's a reason for everything, Cooper. A higher order. Maybe you had to experience this so that you'd be able to understand Reece more. Who knows why? But I do know that he's crazy about you and the girls are beyond crazy - they think you're the greatest thing to come along since pancake batter.

"And you are somebody to us. You're this really special person that we all need very much and we don't care about your lack of natural family, honey. We're our family. We're lucky - we get to pick and choose who we want to be part of our lives. We have each other and the kids. And we have your friends here and Lucas and Thursday and her family, not to mention Blaine back home."

"And McQueen." The words were a challenge.

"Oh, definitely McQueen." She watched with a small, relieved smile as he relaxed a little as he considered her words. She'd put up with much worse than what TC McQueen could dish out to wipe that hopeless look off his face.

"I've been picking stuff up from Lucas, Mad. I've mentioned those weird dreams about this family?" She nodded, she knew those nightmares had upset him. "I think it was Lucas' family." He put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him, more for his own comfort than hers. "I think they were really mean to Lucas. He said his father tried to kill him. I never really thought of that. Natural-borns seem so lucky, I never knew they did things like that to their own kids."

"Everyone has their own set of troubles, Cooper. Lucas' father couldn't handle his son being so unique, so special. He resented the fact that he wasn't like the rest of the family. It ate at him. For him, I have pity and loathing all combined into a big mess of emotions. He's a sick man but I find it hard to forgive what he's done to Lucas. Not the physical pain, though that's bad enough. He's made Lucas doubt himself, his worth, his gift. That's what's unforgivable. But it has made Lucas tough and maybe that will save him from the AI's so that goes to prove good can come out of everything."

Cooper understood. He remembered his talk with Lucas and the things he'd picked up from his friend. He had a feeling that even Lucas didn't know how much he could read from him or he'd be more careful to shield his thoughts. He began to feel better, Madi's presence comforted him, but he still had a big worry that he needed to get an answer to.

"It doesn't bother you, Madi, that I'm part of her? You're not afraid that I'll maybe be more like her as I get older?" Madi knew who she was. She thought of Lucas' similar fears about his father. She turned into Cooper, framing his face with both her small hands.

"Cooper, I like what I see, who I know you to be. Being part of her made you partly this way. You have her genes, her hair colour, her intelligence; but you're the one that determines who you become. Don't you ever forget that or let anyone tell you differently."

He looked at her in wonder. "That's what McQueen said, not those exact same words, but the same thing."

"Well, there you go. If McQueen said it then it must be true, right?" He acknowledged the sardonic humour in her voice with 'the look'; the one that said she was a supreme smartass -- but he broke into a rueful grin at his own acknowledged hero worship of his CO. What could he say? Most of the time McQueen was right.

"Come on, let's go check on Reece. He's really missed you since you left." Cooper looked pleased and a little shy.

"You think so?"

Madi snorted. "Believe me, sweetheart, if you had to listen to him grouse and grumble all day because you're not there to see this or that toy or play Marines with him you wouldn't have to ask that question. And it's bad enough to hear Reece, but I've got to listen to the girls as well. Between the three of them they ask me at least thirty times a day when you'll be back."

Cooper broke into a smile at that. "I miss them, too. I got their school pictures and their artwork. I have feeling we don't need to put any money back for art school."

Madi grinned in acknowledgement. "No, artists they're not. Did you figure out what those pictures were?"

"Didn't have a clue, Madi. You?"

She shook her head. "Me either. I bluffed my way through. I think Avery's was a puppy, she's really been begging for a one; and maybe the one Kelsey sent you was a family picture. At least the number of figures corresponded to our family."

Cooper pulled her closer to him for just a moment, revelling in her words. Family. She said it so casually that she couldn't possibly know what it meant to him to be included that way, and how it helped to soothe the pain of Lucas' earlier revelation. He pushed the thoughts of Diane Hayden and Lucas to the back of his mind for a few minutes. Right now he needed to spend some time with his family.

~*~

McQueen was not in a good mood as he made his way to the quarters assigned to Doctor Hagen. Damphousse had briefed him on the situation, and what she´d said had worried him immensely. Neither Cooper or Hagen were in good shape. The events of the last two days had taken their toll. The fact that Hagen had almost thrown Phousse out of her quarters had done nothing to reassure him. So he was ignoring Vanessa´s advice and not leaving well enough alone. She said they´d needed ‘space´. Space. He was running a crack squad of marines, not a kindergarten for mollycoddled kids. He refused to acknowledge that the real reason that he was on his way to her quarters, the reason he was so worried was because of Cooper. Instead he chose to believe that it was the entire situation. This hookey-pookey stuff was getting to him as much as it was getting to his unit. This was much worse than that time with Phousse, worse even than Cooper had been when he´d first developed his ‘talent´ as Masterson and Hagen insisted on calling it. And McQueen had thought that that was hell.

His temper had not improved noticeably when he finally reached Hagen´s quarters. Years of practice at holding tight onto his temper gave him the strength to knock firmly on the door rather than pound on it mercilessly which is really what he wanted to do. There was no answer. He knocked again, his grip on his temper slipping. He was not used to being ignored. The third time he did pound. He was beginning to believe that either there was no-one in there, or that something terrible had happened to Thursday and Cooper, when the door finally opened. Although perhaps flew open would be a better description. For a second he could do nothing but stare open mouthed into Doctor Hagen´s face. He scarcely recognised her. She wasn´t wearing her contacts, her yellow eyes making her already ferocious expression seem even worse.

"Yes?" she snapped. Her temper was obviously no better than his.

"Cooper," he explained, at a loss for the words. "Lieutenant Damphousse said..."

"I bet she did," was Thursday´s reply. McQueen´s eyes narrowed. He was not used to being spoken too in such a fashion. "Get used to it," she said. For a second he seriously considered pushing his way past her, but good manners dictated that he couldn´t. They stood there glaring at each other for what seemed like an aeon, neither wanting to be the first to give way. In the end it was Thursday who moved first, back into the room, allowing McQueen access.

He followed her into the room, his eyes darting nervously around, searching for Cooper. His expression relaxed when he spotted the young lieutenant lying stretched out on Doctor Hagen´s bunk, deep in sleep. He moved towards him with the intention of shaking him awake for a minute.

"Its no use," a voice behind him said. "He won´t wake up." He turned to face Thursday once again as she slumped down onto the floor, obviously returning to the position she´d been in when he´d disturbed her. A half empty bottle of tequila sat next to her. He cocked one eyebrow at her, waiting for some elucidation. She returned his look defiantly for a moment before expanding. "He won´t wake up. I gave him a sedative."

McQueen felt his ire build again. Didn´t she know how dangerous this was? To give drugs like that to an InVitro was tantamount to....

"Its safe," she said, interrupting his train of thought.

"How do you know?" he spat out through clenched teeth.

"I know," she emphasised. "You don´t think that I´d give him something that wasn´t?" She watched him coolly as he struggled not to let his temper get the better of him. When she sensed that he´d won, for the moment, she spoke again. "Well, since I obviously can´t throw you out and you seem reluctant to leave under your own steam, I suggest you make yourself comfortable." She reached for the bottle again, swigging from it and closing her eyes briefly as the liquid burned its way down her throat.

When she opened them again, she met his gaze steadily. He found it difficult to believe that she´d managed to drink half of the entire bottle. Her mouth curled up briefly as she watched his eyes follow the path of the bottle. He wondered where she´d got it.

"I brought it with me," she explained softly. His eyes widened. She was obviously picking his thoughts straight out of his mind. It made him feel distinctly uncomfortable. "Of course I am," she commented, stretching slightly. "Why do you think I knocked Cooper out?" He tilted his head at her enquiringly. "Because at the moment we can´t block anyone out. I can´t block you out, and I´m having difficulty blocking the ship out. I´m even having difficulty blocking Vanessa out." She took another swig from the bottle. "Cooper is even worse," she added, her eyes softening as they took in the long figure sprawled on the bed. "He can´t block anything out. Its driving him half crazy. He needs the rest. And what´s happening with Lucas is making it worse...." Her voice trailed off as she obviously considered just what was happening with Lucas. He felt a brief pang of sympathy. She shot him an irritated look as she obviously picked up that thought. That eliminated any sympathy he may have felt. He did not like the fact that she could wander through his brain whenever she felt like it.

"Why would I want to?" she asked, the colour high in her cheeks. He looked at her suspiciously, before deciding to ignore her question. He began to move closer to Cooper with the intention of somehow checking that she hadn´t given him something inimical. "Don´t come any closer," she burst out, becoming agitated. He halted in his tracks, unsure as to what had caused her outburst. When she saw that he´d heeded her, she relaxed somewhat. "Proximity makes it worse," she explained. "At least when you´re the other side of the room I can shield a little." McQueen thought back to the few conversations he´d had with Lucas the last time Masterson had been on board the Saratoga, and then settled himself on the floor on the opposite side of the room to Hagen. The cold did not do his artificial limb any favours, but that was preferable to the alternative promised by those eyes.

Thursday relaxed further, although she didn´t release her hold on the bottle. "Why would I want to?" she repeated. He eyed her suspiciously, but again gave no answer. She watched him for a few minutes. Her next question took him completely by surprise. "Are you capable of rape?" she asked.

He stared at her shocked for a second. Before he even knew he was going to say it, he burst out, "So you believe the propaganda about Tanks?" His words were more bitter then he´d intended, and they had obviously taken her by surprise. There were advantages, he reflected, in not thinking before you spoke. She laughed, the first genuine sound he´d heard her make. Her eyes danced with bitter amusement.

"No," she said. "That wasn´t why I asked. A human is a human as far as I´m concerned. I neither care more nor less for InVitros than any other human."

"How terribly liberal of you," he said a little spitefully. She laughed in his face.

"Liberality has very little to do with it."

He considered her thoughtfully, and then with one of those rare flashes of insight he was capable of, asked, "You don´t like humans much, do you?"

"You mean as a concept, or individually?" she challenged.

"Both."

She mulled over his question before giving her answer. "I´m not overly fond of humans as a species, but I´m rather fond of one or two individuals." Once more her eyes settled briefly on Cooper.

"Then why are you doing this?" he enquired. She met his gaze again, holding it for a long time. He was impressed in spite of himself. There were not many people who could do that.

"I´ll make you a deal. You answer my question and I´ll answer yours." He could seldom resist a challenge, but the question.....

He threw caution to the wind. "No," he said.

"Why not?" she probed further.

"That´s two questions," he said trying to divert her. Her gaze wouldn´t let him hide.

"You´re physically stronger than me," she clarified. "You´re subject to the same rages and desires that define your fellow man. The same hatreds, the same pains. Why not?" He had no answer to that, except that it wouldn´t be right. He had a feeling that she wouldn´t accept that one. Once again she surprised him.

"Why is it that you can accept that there are some men who would never, could never commit rape, and consider yourself one of them, but you cannot accept that I would feel the same way about raping someone´s mind." He had a feeling he´d offended her. He squirmed uncomfortably. It had been a long time since someone had disturbed him so much. He wasn´t in the habit of letting people get under his skin, although the Wildcards had managed, especially the one who still lay there, oblivious to the conversation going on around him and his CO´s consternation. He tried to put the thought out of his mind.

"If you don´t like humans very much, as a ‘concept´," he said wryly, "why are you involved in all of this, at possibly the cost of your own life?"

"Why are you? Why is an InVitro, subject to all the prejudice you have been, willing to lay down his life for natural borns he´s never met and who are likely to treat him with contempt if he ever did?"

"Because I never wanted anyone to be able to say with honesty that all InVitros are cowards or lazy or don´t care, and because...."

"Because some things are right," she prompted.

"Yes."

She took another swig from the bottle of tequila. "Precisely," she said. "Because some things are right. That´s why." He looked at her in disbelief. It couldn´t be that pat. She must have caught that thought as well. "And because of Lucas," she added.

"Lucas?" he queried.

"Yes, Lucas." Another swig. "When Lucas first developed his... talent.., yes I know you don´t like that word but we have yet to come up with another one, ‘power´ sounds so passé." She was beginning to sound a little drunk now, however no where near as drunk as she should be by rights after three quarters of a bottle of tequila. "When he first developed this.... thing, he somehow needed to find others like him."

"And he found you?" McQueen surmised. She shook her head.

"No, he already had me," she commented. "We were lucky, I guess." Lucky, she thought a little bitterly. It had been a bloody miracle. "He found Madi and some others like her, not many and none as talented as he and I. He was beginning to despair I suppose." Her voice softened considerably. "I think he believed that he was somehow a...... freak." McQueen thought about Cooper´s reaction when he´d first developed his.... ‘talent´. For the first time he felt some sympathy for Lucas. He supposed that in some ways it must be like being an InVitro. He shot a quick glance at Hagen to see if she´d picked up that thought, but she seemed lost in her memories. After a moment she continued. "Well, the thing about our Lucas, he´s one hell of a hacker. He found out about Noble and what he had done, found some article in an obscure scientific journal. Typical Noble, I suppose. Couldn´t resist blowing his own horn even if the work was supposed to be top secret. So Lucas did some digging and found out about the programme. This was about, I don´t know, five or six years ago." She took another swig. "By that time Aerotech had decided that the programme was a bust and had sent the InVitros off on various assignments. Cooper was unaccounted for, but Lucas soon tracked him down. He kept track of them over the next few years, mainly due to some kind of kinship rather than anything else. And then Blood Alley happened."

"Blood Alley?" McQueen asked.

"Cooper´s sister," Thursday explained. "You know. You were there. Lucas wasn´t happy with the official explanation and did some more digging, found out it was deliberate. After that he did some more digging, found out about Cooper being targeted." She gave McQueen a piercing, if slightly bleary look. "He didn´t know that Cooper was talented, none of us did."

"So why, then, if it wasn´t for Cooper´s talent?"

"Like you said, some things are just right." She´d said it. He´d only thought along those lines, but he didn´t bother to correct her. "Lucas is all for doing the right thing, whatever the cost. And now its going to cost him his life." The alcohol was now kicking in. "It helps," she murmured. "It blurs things." A whole bottle of blurred, he thought. "I´m tired," she said with deliberate precision. "I think I´ll go to sleep now." And with a strange kind of grace she slid down the wall and curled up on the floor, still holding onto the now empty bottle. Within seconds she was as unconscious as Cooper. McQueen watched her for a few minutes, before sighing and struggling to his feet. Her revelations had surprised him. For some reason he´d assumed that Lucas was government. The fact that he was merely a ‘concerned citizen´ was a concept McQueen found difficult to grasp. He didn´t think that he´d ever met any natural born outside of the military who was willing to risk his or her life for an InVitro. With another sigh, he picked her up and settled her on the bed next to Cooper. She was as light as a proverbial feather. He made sure that the door didn´t slam behind him.