| Bloody Old Bat Steve Pain-vocals, Fast
Paul Table -guitar, Zark Starfish-drums.
|
 |
| Bloody Old Bat Steve Pain-vocals, Fast
Paul Table -guitar, Zark Starfish-drums.
|
|
Ben’s going bats over his jungle discovery.
The delighted chiroptorologist has captured the worlds first example
of a giant tube nosed bat
In a fine mesh mist net that Ben strings out each night in a
mangrove swamp.
Its nostrils stand out on little tubes from its face; twice the
usual size with completely different markings on its fur.
He told ridiculous stories about them getting caught in women’s
hair.
People think I’m a bit batty myself, up to my knees in a smelly
mud swamp full of malaria mosquitoes
Ben examined the chewed white contours of his bitten fingers,
And when he smiled you could see the blood dripping from his
fangs.
A Forest Smoking
Benjamin
Horrendous – guitar, bass, chair. Gillian Thrilling -
clarinet. Recorded in the flat above Broad
Oak garage.
Download
MP3
Benjamin
Horrendous – vocals, guitars, food mixer.
I played a version of this
live at the 6 Bells shortly before I moved to Lancashire.
Flat on your back,
Teeth crumble and crack:
Young girls with wet metal suckers
Stick things in.
He fixes me with a horrible stare.
Fantasy nightmare dentist chair.
He cuts through my gums with his scraper hook.
Young girls just can’t bear to look.
The rusty drill bores a hole in my jaw.
Blood starts spurting onto the floor.
Oh no, the pain too much to bear.
Fantasy nightmare dentist chair.
Oh god, this just isn’t fair.
Fantasy nightmare dentist chair.
Teeth being damaged beyond repair.
Fantasy nightmare dentist chair.
Loosen my clothing, give me some air.
Fantasy nightmare dentist chair.
Girls carry me out after stripping me bare
And carry me into the waiting room, where
They say to the patients
“Next please, if you dare”.
Fantasy nightmare dentist chair.
Benjamin Horrendous – bass, percussion, finger
clicks. Gillian Thrilling – vocals, finger clicks.
This was originally going
to be a Beefheart style number. I had the words but hadn’t worked out the
music. Gilly picked up the lyrics one day and started in a jazzy style,
so I went with that.
I couldn’t believe my eyes:
Before me was a vivid, life size, masturbating dinosaur.
Its gooey claws clutched a sticky reptilian prick that was rigid like
rock.
Its immense swinging bollocks pumped and pulsed,
Then it exploded, throbbing in white heat globular frenzy,
And dripped and drooped downwards, like thick yellow lumpy custard.
The dinosaur stopped, shot, shat and jumped for joy,
And groaned like a wanker in paradise.
Pornographic dinosaur orgasm.
It groaned like a wanker in paradise
Benjamin Horrendous – vocals, guitars, bass, percussion.
Originally performed by the Differents (Benjamin
Horrendous – vocals, guitar; Matt Fantasy – lead guitar; Wilfresco Flamenco
– bass; Zark Starfish – drums).
This
was written for a Xmas eve gig.
He’s a fat ugly man in a dirty red suit.
He’ll break into your house and steal all your loot.
He comes down the chimney; he doesn’t use doors.
He’s anti Santa Claus.
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
He’s got a big sack that he carries along
Full of old broken toys that stink and pong.
His dirty grey beard barely covers his sores.
He’s anti Santa Claus.
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
He mistreats his reindeer and beats up his elves,
And watches young boys when they play with themselves.
Sometimes he’s found lurking in department stores.
He’s anti Santa Claus.
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
Anti Santa Claus.
On his sleigh in the sky he rides round the world
Throwing shit filled snowballs down on the girls.
He gives people puppies, but first he cuts off their paws.
He’s anti Santa Claus
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
Anti Santa Claus.
Benjamin Horrendous – vocals, guitar,
wood flute, bass, human beat box, percussion.
Originally performed by the Mustard
Mitts (Dave Martian – vocals, Fast Paul Table – guitar, Benjamin Horrendous
– bass, Zark Starfish and Bill Ding – drums.)
This was written for a live
aid festival in Rushlake Green.
Starving black babies with flies in their eyes
And withered limbs, utter pitiful cries.
Black starving babies cry out with pain,
Look up to the sky and pray for rain.
Starving black babies with flies in their eyes
And withered limbs, utter pitiful cries.
The west is ripping off the rest.
The west is ripping off the rest.
Our aid is fake,
We take the cake
Our aid is fake, we take the cake
With our butter mountain and our wine lake.
Our fellow men are suffering
Our fellow men are suffering.
We give them hollow platitudes
We need to change our attitudes
What we spend on nuclear arms
Could be used for more food farms.
Our consumerist society is paid for by their poverty.
We’re living off the black mans back,
Living off the black mans back
It’s time we paid the black man back.
Our fellow men are suffering
Our fellow men are suffering.
Benjamin Horrendous – vocals, guitar, bass,
percussion. Originally performed by the Differents.
The black, bloated stickleback fish floated
Upside down in the pond.
The pond was fenceless, the stench knocked me senseless;
My snout fell out, splashed and drenched the bystanding diners.
Someone fished it out and replaced it in my face.
We retired inside where the fish was fried,
And the cat was ignored as it giggled and clawed
In animal anticipation for the rotten remains.
The head, tail and bones, and some of the brains
Of the leftover fish were put in a dish;
And the cat was ignored as it giggled and clawed.
Then the cat was confronted with a dish of stinking fish.
The cat was confronted with a dish of stinking fish.
Back down at the fishpond; all seated down, all sitting round.
Passing round and exchanging cross words.
Look in the book, let me find the answer.
Sidetrack sideways we come across
A green alpine parrot from New Zealand that kills sheep.
A green alpine parrot from New Zealand that kills sheep.
A space being with green laser eyes
And a plant with sticky orange leaves and a stem like rubber,
And another one behind it with a rubber like stem.
The transmutant puppets from another dimension,
And a burlesque boot boy with boiled brains,
And a spaced out sheep dog,
And a spaced out sheep dog,
And a spaced out sheep dog,
And a spaced out sheep dog
Gillian Thrilling – vocals, Benjamin Horrendous
– guitar, bass, percussion.
Lyrics written by Gilly when
she was a student.
Dark, Downward Depressions. Deep Death, Dirge like.
Queasy, unquelled quickness.
The bilge that comes not at all.
No relief.
The state is physical as mental
Visions of dark dank dungeons.
Aromas of mould, feelings of spirit stifled
Dead sounds.
Amputated feeling. Ground glass in digestion.
Sharp knives in intestines, forks in appendices,
Spears in brain. Mental turmoil.
Fear. Fear.
Apprehension anxiety. Hiatus is continued.
Chaotic chasm of undiluted darkness
Rends and tears
All muffled by cold.
A separate world is maintained.
Isolation seems immanent
And relief is no pain. Significance palls.
All’s well, alone.
Benjamin
Horrendous – vocals, Zark Starfish – guitar. Recorded at the same gig as
“Bloody Old Bat”.
Walking in the woods behind
New Pond Hill with Dave Powell, we found a gnarled and twisted piece of
tree root that looked like a devilish 3 eyed goat with half its flesh missing.
We carried it home by the horns to the flat I was sharing with Bob Elliot
opposite the Prince of Wales. I don’t know what became of it; maybe Bob
used it for firewood.
It followed me home; it’s climbing the stairs,
It’s climbing the stairs; oh god, nobody cares.
It’s pawing the ground and ringing its bell.
It’s the wooden mutant devil goat from hell.
The wooden mutant devil goat from hell.
It’s coming inside, it’s coming inside.
The devil sure wants to have my hide.
Its skull exposed and fangs as well.
Here comes the wooden mutant devil goat from hell,
The wooden mutant devil goat from hell.
It’s after me; it’s after me.
It’s breaking in to the lavatory.
It’s giving off an obnoxious smell.
It’s the wooden mutant devil goat from hell,
The wooden mutant devil goat from hell.
It’s poised for attack; it’s poised for attack.
It’s got horrible lumps all along its back.
It leaps in the air with a blood-curdling yell.
Oh god it’s the wooden mutant devil goat from hell,
The wooden mutant devil goat from hell.
Benjamin Horrendous – vocals, guitar,
bass; Zark Starfish – vocals, percussion. Recorded at Broad Oak.
Originally performed by the
Mustard Mitts.
Triangle face came up from hell
And danced on the edge of a wishing well.
With his pointed beard and his extra horn;
Triangle flat face he’s unborn.
Oh triangle, your head went through the mangle.
It came out flat, now you can’t wear a hat.
Triangle flat face and his pet
Outdanced each other, for a bet.
The pet gave off an obnoxious smell,
It’s the wooden mutant devil goat from hell.
Oh triangle, your head went through the mangle.
It came out flat, now you can’t wear a hat.
Triangle face danced on his tail
And fell into a rusty pail
The pail went clanging down the well,
And that’s how he got back to hell.
Oh triangle, your head went through the mangle.
It came out flat, now you can’t wear a hat.
Benjamin
Horrendous – vocals, guitars, bass, percussion.
Started
with the guitar riff, which evoked Creedence Clearwater Revival swamp rock
type stuff, and the words flowed from that.
Take a walk by the river when the moon is high.
You might see a woman, might hear her cry.
She’ll be dressed in fine clothes and smell of sweet perfume;
She’ll be raising zombies up from the tomb.
This ain’t no nightmare; this ain’t no dream
She’s the voodoo queen.
On her bony fingers she wears three rings:
One for each husband; the serpent kings.
She’ll be waiting for them to come down from above.
She’ll stand before them, making love.
This ain’t no nightmare, this ain’t no dream
She’s the voodoo queen.
There’s a man in a black hat, black coat and shades.
He guards the pathway, waiting to be paid.
He swigs from a bottle full of strong rum.
Don’t let him catch you boy, you’ll be struck dumb.
He goes to the river so he can be obscene
With the voodoo queen.
If you’re down by the river, take a good luck charm
Or some magic potion to keep you from harm
If the queen, she sees you, she’ll cast her spell,
Next thing you know, boy, you’re on your way to hell.
Keep out of sight boy, or you’ll be seen
By the voodoo queen.
Take a walk by the river when the moon is high.
You might see a woman, might hear her cry.
She’ll be dressed in fine clothes and smell of sweet perfume;
She’ll be raising zombies up from the tomb.
This ain’t no nightmare; this ain’t no dream
She’s the voodoo queen.
Gillian
Thrilling – vocals, tin whistle; Benjamin Horrendous – guitar, chimes.
Another of Gilly’s
student poems.
Hither, thither, where?
The calf, he had no care.
Bound by box and tethered
It pulled and puffed and fretted.
Smelling the knife;
Hearing the bloods call;
Knowing of no other life
It wrestled with fear.
Standing and waiting:
Knife edge approaching.
Feeling the steel, cold
Its eyes turned and rolled.