"We had just bought our instruments and had not a clue how to play them. Chris was a little older and could proficiently strum bar chords and do the odd lead twang (on his Shergold). Amazingly, he seemed happy to team up with a bunch of complete no hopers (sorry Haff, probably not aimed at you as I do recall you being able to sing a bit!)

These are the songs I remember:

1. The Original Loud One (no lyrics or tune to speak of - just 3 chords with no real harmonic reason for being grouped or chosen, strummed loudly (hence the name) over Hudson's drum solo.

2. The Original Quiet One (no lyrics or tune to speak of - just 3 chords with no real harmonic reason for being grouped or chosen, strummed quietly (hence the name) over Hudson's drum solo.

3. Even Before They Were Built - (Lyrics Terry O'Meara - and in fact my Mum recently found the ORIGINAL PENNED LYRICS (was it '78?) in a box at my house and posted them to me!!!!) Our most tuneful and ambitious number (what with it having words and that) concerning O'Mearas experiences with buildings suffering terminal structural failure prior to their actual construction.

I recall two gigs. One was at The Dunn Village Hall, Rushlake Green in front of a stunned audience who enquired as to Haff's role since the first 2 numbers contained no lyrics. The second (or maybe it was the first) was in front of an even more stunned audience at the Goward Hall Youth Club. Mrs Beaney (RIP) had decided it was a good idea to get the local press and diginitaries into the youth club to marvel at the fantastic work we were doing with our Judo and table tennis and our own club band. About 30 middle aged folk sat in rows of plastic chairs under bright strip lights whilst Hudson blasted out his drum solo over the terrifyingly loud boom and screech of the bass and guitars - my mother commented that "they weren't so much tunes as rhythms" (bless her kind heart). After the "gig" a fleet of ambulii carted the physically maimed and mentally destabilised off to various institutions where they could be cared for and the press took our photo and put it in the paper!!! I still have the pic somewhere - Hudson peering out from underneath his David Cassidy Fringe, O'Meara looking like someone had just rammed a broom up his arse, Chris (future deviant for sure) Wood smiling and looking not unlike Donny Osmond and me leaning against the wall trying (unsuccesfully) to look cool.

Twas a sad affair and only the birth of Lester and the Swampies saved us."

PS.It should be noted that both Terry and Chris used Shergold guitars - let this serve as a warning to any young folk out there looking to break into the showbiz scene.