SUMMIT TALK
Eavesdropping On Elvis Costello and Tom Waits
Option magazine, July/Aug 1989
THE NATURE OF MUSIC
ELVIS: I always seem to be watching these nature programs whenever I speak
to you...
TOM: I love those nature programs. I would love to do some music for a
nature program. It's unfortunate that the nature programs themselves
ultimately may be perhaps the only record of nature itself. It's like if
the camera shifts just a little bit to the left, you'll pick up the condo,
right next to the condor on the beach...
ELVIS: And the nice little wrapper that's been left there by the previous
film crew, probably the Kodak wrapper. I did actually see one about bears,
polar bears, where they said, "So the polar bears don't have any natural
predators. This far north, there are no hunters up here. In fact, the only
thing that interrupts them in their natural idyllic habitat is they're
possibly harassed by nature film crews" (laughs). I saw this one thing
about the sense that animals have. They showed altered pictures of what
insects and birds see, and they showed flowers - the flowers are not the
colors we see. Now to my way of thinking, that means we're the ones with
the optical illusion, because we don't pollinate flowers, except by
accident. Whereas the flowers have evolved and presumably evolved giving
off these colors to insects. So really, daisies are not yellow and white,
they're really purple and orange or something. Once you start taking that
into account in music, then you realize that some people can't physically
hear things. A kid that listens to Metallica or something can't hear that,
because he's filled himself up with this stuff, he physically can't hear a
banjo or a harp or something.
TOM: Well men and women have a different range of sounds that they are
sensitive to.
ELVIS: And rhythm. Women hear rhythm differently than men. Do you think
there's any kind of biological reason why so many girls play bass?
TOM: I don't know. I always go for the low end. Kathleen's always trying to
kick my ass up the scale a little bit because I find that if I'm left to my
own devices I will discover various shades of brown. And I'm seeing them of
course as red and yellow next to each other. She says, what you've just
really created here is sludge, dirty water. So I kind of have to be
reminded of that. I'm also color-blind, which is kind of interesting. I
juggle with brown and green and blue and red, and green looks brown, brown
looks green, purple looks blue, blue looks purple. I don't see the world in
black and white, but I'll never make the Air Force.
ELVIS: Do you see it like that? Because I see it definitely in color. The
last record I made before this one, it was in red and brown, it was blood
and chocolate. That was an actual picture of a room in my head all the way
through it, and most of the songs took place in it.
TOM: Do you find that with a record... there's a time before it's released
when you go through this enormous kind of Lamaze thing with the music, and
as soon as you cut it loose you feel like it's grown up and gone to school.
Up until the last moment you can change something.
ELVIS: I found with this record I had to really be strong-willed, because
in the past I've tended to tinker and add a thing or take a thing away, and
nearly always been wrong. That's a neurosis.
TOM: You have to know the difference between neurosis and actual process,
'cause if you're left with it in your hands for too long, you may unravel
everything. You may end up with absolutely nothing.
ELVIS: When you're looking further afield than your initial experience for
writing, particularly when you consciously narrow your view of the music to
create a certain dramatic effect like the last record (Spike), I really did
do that thing of pulling it all through this funnel and I was hoping that
the good stuff didn't kind of get caught on the edge of it. Really the only
thing holding a lot of records together is the personality of the singer,
and the will to write all of these different things.
TOM: If you can put them all together on the same disc, though, you can
perceive them as a collection, that they ultimately will develop a logic,
even if you hadn't endowed them with that. Because it's a group of people
that just got off the bus, and they seem to be united on some type of a
tour. You assume they have relationships. It's like when you make tapes
just for your own pleasure, you put Pakistan music and Bobby Blue Bland
next to each other, you do have some type of logic about it. (But) I can't
listen to so much music at the same time. I think you really have to have a
diet. You're just processing too much, there's no place to put it. If you
go a long time without hearing music, then you hear music that nobody else
hears.
ELVIS: I read this thing once in Finnair magazine, an article about Jean
Sibelius. He couldn't have the window open when he was composing 'cause if
he did he would hear birds in the trees and they'd get into the
composition. So his family used to go and have to chase the birds (laughs).
But it's quite a comical picture, isn't it? The bird song would actually
enter his composition. Well, there's that other guy, that guy who's still
alive, he's 80, Oliver Messiaen. He's actually an ornithologist, that's the
two things he does, he's a composer and ornithologist. And he goes out and
records real bird song, and then transcribes it into compositions.
TOM: Wow. Steve Allen used to take the telephone line, and then when
different birds would set at different places on the wire, he would write
it out and look at the lines of the telephone wires as a staff, and he
would put the birds where the notes would be and he would play it. On a TV
show...
ANT FARMS & MELLOTRONS
ELVIS: Can you write scores?
TOM: No. I've developed my memory in order to compensate for my inability
to. .. you end up with your own languages.
ELVIS: Little hieroglyphics and a set of hand symbols. And humming. I find
humming is very useful.
TOM: You always lose a few things, but you also open yourself up to some
other things.
ELVIS: If you can divide everything up using a computer, like these
machines now that will divide the beat up for you and will even...What
about these drum machines which can program in mistakes? Program in the
human factor? I mean, how human? (laughs) I know plenty of drummers that
aren't that human, you know.
TOM: It used to terrify me, the idea of drum machines, and now I've figured
it still comes down to who's operating it.
ELVIS: And who programmed it in the first place. That one you showed me? I
got one of those to play with and I used it on the next B-side I did, and I
just plugged it into an amplifier, which immediately changed it. So there's
one thing I've done, I've distorted the natural sound of it...
TOM: Crank up the sound, get some dirt on it, and it sounds a lot different.
ELVIS: I like the sound because it sounds like somebody playing bongos with
stainless steel gloves on. It sounds completely unnatural. But what kind of
ethos does the person who programmed that chip have, that makes him think
that those sounds sound like the little drawings on the machine? (laughs)
Some of them are really weird. The little cymbals that are supposed to
indicate which is an open hi-hat? Some of them are their own sound.
TOM: I love that thing the Mellotron so much. I just used one yesterday.
(Its owner) guards it with his life because it's such an exotic bird, it's
a complete dinosaur, and every time you play it it diminishes. It gets old
and eventually will die, which makes it actually more human, you're working
with a musician that is very old, he's only got a couple more sessions
left. It increases the excitement of it. And that great trombone sound...
ELVIS: I used to go to church with my father, and right next door to the
church was this big house that Dickens used to live in apparently. It was
one of many houses that he lived in, but this was this guy's claim to fame.
He wasn't a musician, he was an executive from the company that made
Mellotron originally. And one day he got us outside of the church, and he
insisted - he used to lie in wait outside of the church for everybody to
come out, and sort of capture them on Sunday morning when they couldn't
think of any other excuse - and try and sell 'em a Mellotron. That was how
difficult it was to get people to consider them when they first came out.
They were such a gimmick. It so happened that a few people who went to that
church were musicians, so I guess a few people got this treatment. And one
Sunday morning, I must have only been about eleven or twelve, we were
dragged into this big sitting room of this big old house, and he had this
Mellotron that was like Doctor Fife's organ, it was a huge thing, a big
wooden contraption. It had foot pedals, as I recall. Maybe I'm embellishing
it now with my cloudish memory. When you go to a childhood house or
something, it's always much smaller than the size you remember it.
TOM: Those Mellotrons, the first time I actually played one, it really
thrilled me. It's like you touched somebody on the shoulder, everytime I
touch you on the shoulder I want you to play a note. It was that real.
ELVIS: But this thing did seem big, and I remember my father sat down to
play, and he was pushing these buttons on it and engaging different tapes,
and saying, "Just listen to that! It's a real trumpet, you know, it's not
an imitation like an organ, it's a real trumpet." But the thing about it
was, they hadn't really got the mechanism down at that time. It's a
prototype we had. The way you hit the key, it engaged like almost a quarter
a beat late. So you had to play more than slightly ahead of the beat, you
had to lurch. You had to have the lurch technique down. But of course it
was dismissed. My father, he said, this will never take over because the
tone of the instrument never varies, except it gets shriller when it gets
higher. And then the fact that it doesn't even engage in time. Within three
years of that, they were absolutely the rage and the revolution. People
thought that music was coming to an end.
TOM: Yeah, the industrial revolution. This town (Hollywood), which used to
have regular, enormous string sessions for films, and now scores are done
at home with two fingers. It's essentially done irreparable damage to the
whole economics of sessions, of big session players.
ELVIS: I saw a session when we were doing this record where they had a big
module outside the studio which must have been like one of those
Synclaviers or something like that, like a life support machine. Which in a
way I guess it was. I think they just bring the leaders in now, don't they
just bring in the leaders now to play the expression over the block? I get
suspicious of that sound...it sounded like foam rubber and furniture or
something. That is silent and deadly, that foam rubber. It's fine while
you're sittin' on it, but if your house catches fire, that's the thing that
makes it burst into flames. And that sound is the foam rubber filling of
music, it doesn't have any meaning at all. You know those cartoons they
used to have of people running inside the head? Some of those synthesizers
sound like there's a lot of effort. They wheeze almost in a human way,
there's an awful lot of effort (laughs). There's a lot of microchips all
going at once to create a rather insubstantial sound.
TOM: It's an ant farm. There's some activity inside of it...
ELVIS: You know that sampling business where they put those records
together, I always think: what a great idea. It's just that somebody hasn't
found the right context for it yet. They can only think as far as sampling
the best-sounding record that you can think of, or the coolest one, and
then juxtapose things that by their very juxtaposition diminish them. Like
they'll get James Brown's cool snare sound and they'll juxtapose it with a
huge rap bass drum, which makes the snare drum sound silly. Not to mention
there's often no logical musical relationship between the samples when they
actually sample musical phrases.
TOM: I actually like it. I know that it's controversial in terms of
publishing and copyrights and all that, but like you say, they always pick
the cliches of things that we're all aware of.
ELVIS: But I want to know what happens to the obsolete sounds. They have
obsolescence forced upon them in a way that was never intended for them,
because they get eaten up by this voracious pop machinery. It's not the
first time it's happened. When rock'n'roll came in I think it was because
enough bad swing bands came that rock sounded vital. People weren't
listening to Stan Kenton or Count Basie. Some of them were listening to
bands that are well and best forgotten.
TOM: Jazz developed nylon socks, it was out by the pool eventually.
THE CREATIVE PROCESS
ELVIS: Sometimes I write notes that I have difficulty singing. I write
them, and when you sing them at home, you're singing them not trying to
wake up the neighbors or the kids or something, and you might be, oh, I
know I can go to that note, and when it comes to it, and it actually puts
you out of breath or something like that well, maybe it's wrong, because
I'm gasping for the next line. And you start talking yourself out of the
bold melody and start wanting to arrange it in another key or something.
Maybe I just never learned my harmony part, because what everybody says
sounds odd to them sounds perfectly natural to me. Anyway, it doesn't sound
quite so dramatic. I do that all the time, and you sometimes lose the soul
a bit of the song by doing that.
TOM: It's like translation. Anything that has to travel all the way down
from your cerebellum to your fingertips, there's a lot of things that can
happen on the journey. Sometimes I'll listen to records, my own stuff, and
I think god, the original idea for this was so much better than the
mutation that we arrived at. What I'm trying to do now is get what comes
and keep it alive. It's like carrying water in your hands. I want to keep
it all, and sometimes by the time you get to the studio you have nothing.
ELVIS: That carrying the water thing is a good description, because when
you've got a song and you kind of know how it is, and then you work with
certain players -- I worked with the same band for ten years, the
versatility is different, because of the ability to change it before you've
fixed it. I think that's why some bands thrive on the idea of changing
instruments. When they're off their real instrument, the ability to go very
far from the original idea is reduced. And what if some completely
incompetent bands make brilliant records?
TOM: I hate to look at them that way, because there's a certain kind of
musical dexterity that you can arrive at that actually punishes a certain
point in your development or moves past it. It happens all the time with
me. The three-chord syndrome. And then you say, well, if you try to ask a
Barney Kessel to cut a simple thing, just a big block brick of chords, just
dirty, fat, loud and mean and cryptic - no, he's a handwriter, he's moved
and developed to that level. Larry Taylor, this bass player I worked with
from Canned Heat, if he can't feel it, he'll put down his bass and walk
away and say, that's it, man, I can't get it. And I really respect that.
And I said, well, thank you for telling me.
ELVIS: I knew a guy that played drums in a band that if he didn't like the
song, he just didn't play it when they came to that number. The rest of the
band would play it, and he just wouldn't join in (laughs). I mistrust these
people who can be everybody. This is where technology dictates to them,
because the boxes, they can be everybody. And the samples and everything,
particularly the drummers now--I mistrust that, that in somehow the chips
capture the soul of a player, that's patent nonsense. At the other end, you
get the idea that a player--I worked that one session with (jazz bassist)
Ray Brown, and we had to do bass and voice, first verse of the song, just
bass and voice. At first, it was really plain, and I said no, you could
really use a little more movement in there. And he played this beautiful
series of movements around the melody. It was too much for the record of
that song. In the end, he was very patient with me while I sort of outlined
what it was I kind of wanted...fortunately, before we'd exhausted the
possibility and have it become a forced matter.
TOM: It's like seeing a psychiatrist. There you are trying to explain your
problem with it, trying to locate a solution and present as many
alternatives as you possibly can, and sometimes you end up with gee, I
think I'm talking to the wrong guy.
ELVIS: When you're working with the same band you kind of know their style
inside out, and even when you've been working for seven years with the same
people, suddenly they'll do something you didn't even think they were
capable of. It may be a question of what they don't play as well as what
they do. It's not always possible to guess exactly. When you work with new
people, I think that it throws all of these matters into relief, because
you have to explain yourself every time. It's like crossing a new border.
They want to see your documents.
TOM: You get a shorthand with people, which is always faster with
musicians, because after a while you can tell them with a nod, or you just
get in the mood and they know that it was wrong and you don't even have to
tell them why.
ELVIS: Did you ever think, though, that in your choice of musicians,
several groups of musicians now, they would ever stop you going past that
point, when you start to wander away from your own song? Is it ever
something they play that puts up the roadblock?
TOM: Sometimes it puts up a roadblock, but sometimes it opens a door.
Like the stuff that people are doing in between takes or something, you
have to always be aware of what's happening in the room at all times
Because as soon as the camera's not on and the tape's not rolling... the
amount of time it takes to discover something, sometimes you discover it on
the first moment, sometimes it takes two weeks to find it.
ELVIS: I find that the thing that's been interesting about this record I've
just done (Spike) was the difference between who I thought the musician was
and how they would sound. Just 'cause you write their name on a list of
people that play on the track doesn't mean that even if I had to see, I
cant write charts - even if I was to write the part out note by note, not
only would I deny the possible happy accident or spontaneity, but it would
also be kind of like preconceiving exactly how they sound. Particularly in
relation to Marc Ribot, say, having seen him play with you, I knew one
way he could play, several of the different things he's done. Then I'd seen
him play with the Lounge Lizards, and then I'd heard that Haitian record
[actually a cassette, Haitian Suite, of classical guitar pieces by Frantz
Casseus]. That wasn't broadcast all over the world, you know. That opened
up something else. I knew he could play delicately, for sure, because I'd
heard him play on the records like that. So he really has a lot of scope,
but it still didn't prepare me for the reality of him being in the studio
playing my songs in the environment that we had already set up for him. We
recorded him with a drum machine and maybe there'd be some percussion that
Michael Blair had put there. That's back to the thing of the people being
slightly different musicians than you'd imagined. Idealizing this kind of
combination of players is pretty strange anyway 'cause it's a bit like
picking your favorite baseball team. I get a little nervous about that
element of it. I've just asked the same musicians I've worked with to
conjure up new things in themselves, and sometimes go on a journey even
where they don't really trust I've got the map. This time (on Spike), I've
just gone out and got the people that I really had in mind. As I said, they
sometimes turn out to be slightly different than you imagine, and all the
better for it.
TOM: It's music by agreement, to a degree. You look forward to the
brilliant mistakes. Most changes in music, most exciting things that happen
in music, occur through a miscommunication between people "I thought you
said this." Poetry comes out of that too. It's like song lyrics, Kathleen
always thought that Creedence Clearwater song "Bad Moon Rising" - she
always thought, "There's a bathroom on the right." That's outside, a song
about that, because that happens all the time - you go to a club, "there's
the bathroom on the right." But I love those mistakes. I salute them and
encourage them.
ELVIS: Did you have any bit of a feeling of coincidence that songs might be
written in advance of the events? Or songs may be written with people in
mind in advance of their hearing them?
TOM: Absolutely. It's like dreams sometimes foretell a particular event.
ELVIS: I've come to believe it in terms of writing songs and having other
people who I have no contact with picking them up entirely independently.
You know, other singers? Like having (someone) cover songs which I wrote
with them in my mind, and I have no way of communicating it to them. Simply
because they were out of the picture for that period of time. That's now
happened six times to me. You know, I had a very funny experience the other
day. This guy from Rolling Stone gave me a tape of Chet Baker singing one
of my songs. And I didn't know he'd recorded it. "Almost Blue." It was very
weird because you always expect to hear about covers, particularly since
it's in that movie [Let's Get Lost, about Baker] that Bruce Weber made. It
almost made me cry, it was such a strange feeling. It was such a feeling of
mixed emotions about it. 'Cause I remember giving him the record, not so
much to encourage him to record it, but just as an acknowledgment of the
debt to him.
TOM: He's got a great singing voice.
ELVIS: He does it great. He sings in a very low register for him. And he
doesn't get all the words, he sings the same bridge twice. But the spirit
of it's just right. Another guy told me today about it. This guy I know in
Paris is doing a book of photographs I think you're in it as well - - of
all the people he's taken pictures of over the years, and he's getting all
these musicians to write little comments about the other people in it.
There's a very tragic picture of Chet Baker in it. I tried to find
something that was the opposite of sentimental and sad about it.
THE GLOBAL VILLAGE
ELVIS: You worked with some of the same people all along, but I suppose
when you actually have a group, which I have, you don't sort of notice
(your own musical) development. Somebody brings along a record they like,
and it all becomes a fairly natural growth for a while, particularly when
you're working at such a pace that time goes by and you go on little
journeys and you go on detours around places. Particularly when you're
traveling, you get a tourist kind of... You know that shirt that you buy
when you're on holiday, you get home and you look in the mirror and go,
god, did lever wear that? You have music like that, I think. I used to buy
tapes of music which I was convinced was the greatest thing ever, and it
would even have some effect on me. And then I'd get it home and listen to
it in a different atmosphere.
TOM: I think it's like when you listen to opera in Texas, it's a very
different world. In Rome, you almost ignore it. I've done the same thing,
gone out and bought music from Pakistan, Balinese stuff, Nigerian folk
songs and all this, and I find that if I bring it with me to unusual
places, the place itself is as much a part of the music. Because the music
itself was born and nurtured in a particular environment, and came from
that environment. It's the same thing with fashion or anything else.
ELVIS: Is there a fallacy in this notion of world music? Is that just a
trend, you think? I mean, it would be very sad to be people who developed
and refined and nurtured this beautiful thing, and they're invited to
display it. You know that Bulgarian group, Balkana? They came and gave a
talk. I didn't get to see their concert, the only thing I saw was at the
National Sound Archive, which is like something. . it's the way I imagine
when they had Livingstone come back (from Africa), I imagine it was a bit
like the talk he gave. It was that alien, slightly stilted, and more than a
little embarrassing. Not so much for them, because I think - well, they
might have been a little amused by it. But I felt there was a sense of
embarrassment, and not a little shame, in some people's minds, at least in
my own. What a terrible tragedy if next year these people are invited and
nobody comes, not even there to be embarrassed, because (fans) have moved
on to something else they've been told to like, and leave these people who
are from a real tradition high and dry, without anything. It's like
inviting somebody to your house and then moving.
TOM: It almost seems like what is happening in terms of the industrial pop
machinery that it, like any business, ultimately feels compelled to go out
into the field. It's the Marco Polo effect, it brings home the spices and
incorporates them into their own world.
ELVIS: Recently, I've looked to some places which I have some natural
connection with, albeit very tenuous. Other places that I can't explain...
TOM: Well, your whole molecular structure and what's in your bones and
genetically in you also contains musical information. Because the first
time I really started listening to Irish music, I had a very strong
connection. Strangely enough, there's a great many Japanese melodies and
vocal styles that sound very much like Hungarian music. You start seeing
all these cross-references and comparative, independent musical cultures...
ELVIS: Like when I first heard the Dirty Dozen Brass Band, it was like
waking up from a dream where you'd heard the music in your dream, and you
woke up to find that it was a reality. It was almost a frightening
experience, 'cause it was as if I had known it for a long time. The Dirty
Dozen record, the new one, I want to hear that one, 'cause I think this is
hopefully a new style for them, with a big label. I think a group like that
really needs somebody who can put it on shops everywhere you can find it
because inevitably a lot of that stuff is word of mouth. Sir Kirk (Joseph),
the sousaphone player, is such an obvious star cause it's so unusual to
have somebody so fluent on an instrument which almost by definition is not
fluent, really. He's a one-in-a-million player.
TOM: I love that sousaphone. It's really like dancing with a fat lady, you
really have to know what you're doing.
ELVIS: Yeah. I mean you can get stepped on, but it's much more dangerous,
because it doesn't ever stop in the same place. It goes out in the air and
just stops short, but a little bit more carries on. It's the most wonderful
sound, it's everything it should be. It's proper sex music.
ELVIS COSTELLO, TV PERSONALITY
TOM: The pre-play music for this Demon Wine is all Tony Bennett music.
It's really nice. It serves as kind of a music for the main title of the
play. Then out of nowhere I got a call from Tony Bennett, who's doing an
album. He wants a song. His son called. I thought, that was great. I've
always loved Tony Bennett. That record he did with Bill Evans with just
piano and voice, and all those things.
ELVIS: He has the chops, still, that he could do whatever record he wants.
I did that show with him, which is basically buried in the vaults of NBC.
TOM: With Count Basie?
ELVIS: Yeah. He was the guy I had to sing with. I'd done three rock'n'rolI
shows and had no voice. I was down to that extent and had to go in, and I
croaked my way through a ballad, which is fine until the bridge, till it
gets into the solo; I was doing fine until I got to that. It was about six
months before Count Basic died. He said to me, just at the point when I was
about to admit that not only could I not do it even in full voice, I
certainly couldn't do it in no voice. And he said, "Listen, son, I'm 75
years old and I can't get my arm above here. And you can do it." He just
hexed me into doing it. I had to stand about three feet away from him when
we went into the finale and watch him take a solo from as close as I am
from you, and then guess what happened next? The TV people said, sorry, the
cameras weren't rolling, we'll have to take it again. It was actually
physically painful for him to play. But that's all in a vault somewhere. I
think that is just a question of self- confidence. I don't believe anybody
hasn't got a voice, for instance. I just think they haven't found it yet. I
believe everybody can write songs in the same way.
TOM: You can discover something out of that, too.
ELVIS: I did. But then I get to say, I sang with Count Basie. And nobody
believes me, everybody thinks I'm hallucinating when I say that. Never take
on shows just on the basis of being able to tell your great grandchildren
is what I discovered. But we had to do this finale number with Tony Bennett
and me, "It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing." I mean, his
voice is eight feet wide. So you gonna write him a song?
TOM: I'm gonna, when I get some time. I was thinking of maybe trying to do
something kind of strange, a subject matter unlike Tony Bennett's.
ELVIS: I'd be very suspicious of anybody that seems to have to move to the
next level of expression. I distrust that: now I'm writing a book, now I'm
being an actor. It should be a natural thing. I think it's a natural thing
for you to act. But I think that people that feel that, because they've
written one maybe quite beautiful love song that equips them to play Romeo,
is probably misguided. I don't think that necessarily follows at all, it's
an uneven equation.
TOM: You would trust that type of a diversion from somebody with more
discipline than you would from somebody who has a complete lack of
discipline, has gone into those worlds without a ticket or a passport.
ELVIS: Have you written music in this play?
TOM: No, but there is a great score. It's like an Alex North score. He
did a lot of the film noir stuff, he did the music to East of Eden. This is
really like Pacific jazz stuff, two-track, upright bass, sax, or baritone
sax, trumpet, snare drums, real meaty noir stuff that really works. But
you're right about the passage, I sometimes think that with music,
particularly with pop, you have to put it all in perspective as to what you
can sincerely contribute. But you also get a jones about it, and you think
well, I'm not doing enough, I'm not challenging myself. I think those are
good things.
ELVIS: I went on this television show in Italy. I recommend this one when
you're there next time. This is the most extraordinary idea they have a
whole TV studio sort of decked out like a club with layer upon layer of
images of musicians. And you've got a picture of Louis Armstrong right next
to a picture of somebody from some group in Italy you've never heard of. A
picture of Maria Callas next to Mick Jagger, Prince next to Arturo
Toscanini. And they've got one of those mechanical balls in the middle of
it. I looked at the audience and I thought, this is very strange. This
audience is incredibly glamorous. They had these girls with manes of hair
and long legs and short skirts, very elegant fellows in suede jackets,
striking all kinds of fantastically attractive poses. So when the show
starts, there's this young fellow that sings a little bit like Sting, and I
go well, this is a happy-go-lucky show, they seem to be enjoying it. What
are they gonna make of me? I didn't think I was really fair for this
audience. And they go wildly happy the minute I come out. And then
Buckwheat Zydeco is the next thing on there. There's Buckwheat and his band
completely horrified because the audience is digging them so much, they
can't understand why they haven't come to live in ltaly before! 'Cause
they've never seen girls like this at their shows. Then I said. what's the
scene of this, that all these young people in Italy dig R&B and zydeco and
music like I play, whatever that's called? And they said no, they pay them
25 pounds a day each to be on this show. Really genius. He's presenting R&B
and jazz. They go [he rants in excited pidgin Italian] and you think
they're going to introduce the new George Michael video, and you know what
it was? A clip of Ben Webster (giggles).
TOM: That's the beauty of show business. It's the only business you can
have a career in when you're dead.
ELVIS: What I think is amazing is this guy's discovered that if you present
all this music that he obviously loves, if you present it like it's very
hip, not hip as we know it but hip as the kids in Italy know it, then they
believe you.
TOM: If you tell them that they're falling down over this 3000 miles from
here, you're unhip for not being hip to it. They'll start wearing Ben
Webster T-shirts.
ELVIS: The BBC is sort of like, [drily] "Now we have the only existing clip
of the Negro saxophone player, Charles Parker." They make it sound like
something really dull. This genius in Italy has really worked out the trick
to get people to listen to this music and find hat they'd like about it
themselves. On this other show in Sweden, that was even wilder in its own
way. lt didn't have so much to offer, necessarily. I was far and away the
most normal thing on the bill. They had the guy that's made millions out of
self-assembly furniture, and they had him come on and they said, if you're
so damn clever, you assemble your own furniture by the end of the show.
Otherwise you'll be denounced.
TOM: And he did it?
ELVIS: Oh yeah, of course he did it. He had a little black designer knife
and fork to do it with, or whatever it was not a knife and fork, a
screwdriver. Then they had an interview with the queen of Denmark, who
turns out to be this pissed old bat with yellow teeth who chain-smokes. She
had this dachshund on her lap who kept looking in her face, and at the end
of the interview she said "oh shit" in Swedish, of course a big sensation.
And then the star of the show was this enormous guy you know those Swedish
beards that don't have moustaches that come with them, just on the chin?
This guy had these little beady eyes that darted around, and I noticed he
was next to two equally strange-looking people who looked like they were up
to no good. One of them had handcuffs on his wrist. I thought, he's an
escapologist. This is all going on in Swedish, I don't know what they're
saying. He was an actual prisoner! He was being interviewed on Swedish
television about this massive credit card fraud which he perpetrated. So
they brought him out of prison to have him on television to be interviewed
'cause they're all reasonable in Sweden. And better still, he brought his
guitar with him and he sang a song about it. Then they handcuffed him again
and took him away. He was the star.