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Someone is missing.

 

Where is she ?

 

She is not here because her grand parents

died before they had time to have any

children.

 

In fact, they died before they met, fell into

love, and married. Sadly, they died in infancy.

Or would have done, if they had had any

parents themselves. Invisible generations of

nobodies, of not-peoples, of never-beens.

 

She is not here. She will never be here.

She existed, but only as potential, as latency.

Nobody ever saw her bright eyes and rosy

cheeks, or heard her footsteps coming home.

 

A kind of existence. Not quite enough to be

substantial, tangible, material, but sufficient to

be imagined. More of an existence than some

entity entirely unknown, unimaginable, that

could never exist in any form whatsoever...

not even as a mental figment, not even as an

an imagined phantom, not even as a dream.

 

What might such a thing be like ?

Are there many of them, unknowables,

inconceivables, outside, beyond, the periphery

of the human imagination ?

 

She exists, but only in the sense that an

empty field contains the possibility of an

arrival of cows, or an empty church the

arrival of a congregation....shall we wait ?

 

Shall we carry gifts of bread, to tempt her

to appear, like Nelferch from the lake ?

 

Is she the opposite of a person ?

A possibility ? A negative existence ?

Being versus anti-being ? Think, think !

What could the answer be ?

 

" There is the house whose people sit in

darkness; dust is their food and clay their

meat. They are clothed like birds with wings

for covering, they see no light, they sit in

darkness. I entered the house of dust and

I saw the kings of the earth, their crowns

put away for ever...".

 

From the Babylonian Epic of Gilgamesh.

 

Where are they ? Where is that house now ?

Where is that narrator ?

I see them here, now, in my mind, in the

dark mysterious shadows, clothed like birds...

dust for food...

 

Several thousand years ago, Gilgamesh set out

on a journey, to seek wisdom and immortality.

He asks Utnapishtim the Faraway, " How was

it that you entered the company of the gods

and found everlasting life ? "

 

As Paul Gauguin painted in 1897,

" Where do we come from ? What are we ?

Where are we going ? "

 

Utnapishtim said : " I will reveal to thee,

Gilgamesh, a hidden matter, and a secret

of the gods will I tell thee...."

 

If I tell you that there is not such a thing

as Truth, is that a true statement ?

Therefore, there is such a thing as Truth ?

Would you believe me, if I told you that

what I believe is true ?

 

I do know something. What is it ?

Do you know how much you don't know ?

Can you know what cannot be known ?

Can you know everything ?

Can you know nothing ?

What do you really know ?

Anything ?

 

"It might be thought that knowledge might

be defined as belief which is in agreement

with the facts. The trouble is that no one

knows what a belief is, no one knows what

a fact is, and no one knows what sort of

agreement between them would make a

belief true."

 

Bertrand Russell, The Encyclopaedia Britannica.

 

Koans, those paradoxical questions which

Zen poses to its trainees, are specifically

designed to short-circuit the whole intellectual

process. You cannot solve or answer them by

normal sequential thinking. You have to find

another level, another mode of consciousness.

If you name the truth, you miss it. Truth is

not the words and ideas that describe reality,

but the reality itself.

 

So tell me, pray, what is truth ? and tell me

please, what is reality ?

 

' What is a koan ? ' That's an excellent koan !

 

( I really shouldn't do this, it's very wrong,

but I'll let you in on a little secret here, and

tell you the answer...the REAL answer is this:

EVERYTHING is a koan !

There ! You have it ! Ssshhh ! Don't tell them !

Be grateful, and never say I don't do you

any kind favours...Don't ever forget that, now,

will you ! It's very important ! No, no need to

thank me, just never forget where you heard

it first ! ok ? )

 

Whether an idea is true or not is also an

idea which may be true or not which is also

an idea which may be true or not which is....

 

Koans, like mantras, are tools for penetrating

the mystery, keys for the hidden doors.

 

Thus sang Taliesin :

 

'I have been a blue salmon,

I have been a dog, a stag, a roebuck on the

mountain,

A stock, a spade, an axe in the hand,

A stallion, a bull, a buck,

A grain which grew on a hill,

I was reaped, and placed in an oven,

I fell to the ground while I was being roasted

And a hen swallowed me.

For nine months was I in her crop.

I have been dead, I have been alive,

I am Taliesin.'

 

Anon. 13th. C.

 

What is Taliesin ?

What does Taliesin mean ?

What is the meaning of ' meaning ' ?

 

What you see, upon your computer display,

behind the glass of the screen, HERE, is being

seen by your eyes. The photons of light are

being caught by your eyes.

The patterns that your eyes collect are then

transmitted by nerves to be processed by the

occipital cortex at the back of your skull.

Somehow, by means beyond anyone's ability

to explain or understand, you perceive that

baffling quality, that mind-boggling ' thing ',

which we call ' meaning '.

 

These pictures I have created on these web

pages, exist first as electro-chemical pathways,

somewhere in the tangle of dendrites and

synapses in that incredible jelly that is the

brain, that ' stuff ' which allows imagination.

 

Then, as electrons, photons, digital information,

binary numbers, zeros and ones, pulses in the

wires, they travel, liberated from my control,

and chance to reach you, whoever you are...

 

So, where, along that strange journey, do these

words and images, and their meanings, actually

exist ? In my mind, in the technology, on your

computer's hard disk, in your eyes, at the back

of your brain, or somewhere in between ?

Or all of these ?

 

And where does the ' meaning ' reside ?

Do I ' put it in ', like water into a bucket,

and then you somehow extract it ?

What if you don't understand any of this ?

Has the meaning somehow evaporated away,

to leave dessicated lifeless symbols and marks ?

 

But the symbols and marks are entirely neutral,

aren't they ? Just pixels. Just patterns. They can

have no meaning whatsoever, unless a viewer

prescribes meaning to them, inscribes meaning

upon them. That can only happen at your end..

How do you do it, if you do it at all ?

 

What if these words and images carry several

meanings, simultaneously ?

If there are multilayered meanings here, how

could you tell whether you had extracted

them all ? How would you know whether you

might not have read into the words and

images something which I never intended

at all, something entirely of your own, which

you mistakenly but sincerely assume to be

what I really do mean ?

 

The word ' intelligence ' comes from ' inter -

legio ', ' to read between ', as if the real

message, the superior meaning, lies secretly

inscribed somewhere in the gaps, in the

empty spaces and the undefined apertures.

 

The really clever readers, then, can look past

these little packets of letters called words,

so cunningly woven into sentences and

paragraphs, and gather up the esoteric

essence which hides behind and between.

 

Is this not what every creative author who

dares to make marks upon the pristine

virginal vellum has always had to do ?

The author's work being to translocate the

translucent idea and carve out the meaning

that is hidden within the blank and empty

page so that it protrudes...

 

The reader scans, and notices, this and this

and this and this....

Like running your fingers through matted

hair, there is something....

But what is it ? What does it mean ? What....

 

Back at the ranch meanwhile, trouble

is brewing....

 

 

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