A very exciting new Artistic Offer, has just arrived, and I hasten to pass it on to you. Naturally I am pleased that Super-Coraclon has been chosen for the protective covers, and I can let you know (confidentially of course) that many of the items are now woven in Super-Coraclon. There is simply nothing as good. Dear Friends, I commmend this collection to you, with much warmth. Remember, we are talking of an Investment, not an expenditure.
An Exclusive Offer
The Frankly Mink Exchange®, creators of the largest numbers of unique Art Collections in the world, proudly announce the Exclusive International Dishcloth Collection, exclusive to it, and only available in selected countries of the world.
How often have you envied the spectacular collections of dishcloths in the houses of your rich friends? Perhaps even admired them from a distance at your local Museum of Esthetics? Now, at last, you can own one too, perhaps lovelier than any you may possibly have ever seen before perhaps, on easy-to-buy no-trouble no-risk terms. Why wearily search the shops for costly additions to your dishcloth collection, when it is available to you NOW, in the comfort of your own home?
Invest In The Future!
Perhaps in addition, you may not know that the international value of fine ornamental dishcloths has been Rocketing over the past few years? Your collection is an INVESTMENT as well as a collection! and an heirloom for future generations! Your children and their children will be able to cherish these lovely dishcloths in their original beauty FOR EVER, so meticulously do we prepare and pack them for you! Just one example of the many we could have quoted is that of the limited-edition Arctic Beauty Dishcloth, produced in 1985 at $30.05 and recently sold by a famous exchange house for $300,462.00
This represents an increase in value of OVER ONE MILLION PERCENT! in three years, or (we don't wish to mislead you) nearly FOUR THOUSAND PERCENT each year. What other investment can give you such a return? And it's a GUARANTEED return.
A No-Risk No-Loss Commitment
In fact, SO CONFIDENT are we in the incrementing value of our collections, that we GUARANTEE to purchase your dishcloths back from you at the price you paid for them, or at the current market price (whichever is the less), at any time within a year from the time we started distributing the collections.
Double Value Valuations!
We also give FREE with EVERY dishcloth a valuable Valuer's Valuation of your valuable dishcloths. YOUR MONEY BACK if the valuation you receive is not AT LEAST TEN TIMES higher than you would normally expect to pay in the shops for a dishcloth of similar quality.
Subscribe to a World of Wonder....
But don't take our word for it! Subscribe today, and actually SEE the unique toe-woven Indian dishcloth, FONDLE the exquisite Venetian lace dishcloth, ADMIRE the Shamrock-tinted Irish Linen dishcloth, GASP at the amazing Japanese dishcloth of genuine Wakiwoku fibre, WORSHIP the solid brass Cloth-of-wire Soviet dishcloth. We offer an unconditional guarantee of satisfaction on every dishcloth in the collection (see above), so you risk nothing while becoming the proud owner of one of the finest International Dishcloth collections in the world.
Be the Envy Of Your Friends
Imagine your friends enviously passing from one exquisite dishcloth to another as they examine your collection. Imagine their whispered comments......where DID she get them from?.....however much must they have PAID for them?.....while you smile, confidently knowing the GUARANTEED worth of your collection.
When your collection is complete, we will GIVE you a FREE elegant display basket to display your collection. Hand-moulded in genuine Raffiatex®, with fashionable Flexikleer® domed cover, this basket will be the ultimate compliment to your good taste, a subtly emphasised declaration of your social status.
Fashionable Dishcloth Parties
And imagine what a talking point it could be, as you hand round your dishcloth collection to admiring dinner guests between courses. Every country in the world is contributing a cloth for this UNIQUE collection, from its most distinguished dishcloth-weaving mill, each designed individually by world-famous domestic artists. The conversation could be truly cosmopolitan, truly sophisticated in a way you may never have experienced before, as your guests pass enviously from one dishcloth to the next. With every dishcloth we provide a FREE full-colour leaflet giving the historical and artistic background of each piece, plus a fact-filled description of every country of origin. You might even become known in your neighbourhood as the local expert on Art Dishcloths! while friends will flock to your exclusive entertainments to hear you telling them about your collection.
Our Limited Edition Commitment
We make a firm commitment to an Edition strictly limited to the total number purchased. No more will be made after we stop selling them, and the plates will be destroyed.
Each dishcloth is hand-woven on the most up-to-date yet Traditional looms, especially for YOU, in long-life Smegulon®, softer than silk, tougher than steel. These exquisite works of art are made to last FOR EVER in your home.
Every dishcloth is hand-fired in forty-four artistic colours, to match the month of the year in which you receive it. World-famous artists have been commissioned to produce these colourful, elegant designs. The names of Bill Gomoku, Erythema Smith, Godolphin Saliva, and many, many others will be known to all amateurs of fine dishcloths.
Pure Handwoven 35-carat GOLD!
Each dishcloth will be Personalised FREE with your family initials in pure genuine hand-woven 30 carat Gold. Your collection will be UNIQUE!
Glass-Clear Super-Coraclon®
Each dishcloth will arrive at intervals of approximately one month for the next ten years, carefully packed to preserve its freshness and beauty in glass-clear Super-Coraclon®, designed to keep it FOR EVER in perfect condition. Guests may safely admire your collection without fear that their dirty hands or bad breath will damage the pristine beauty of each cloth.
Luxury Complimentary Free Gift
AND FREE with every first
dishcloth you receive, an exquisite Wedgworm® Jasperware dishcloth, made
specially for our clients and not available elsewhere.
(Illustration actual
size)
Your Full Protection And Guarantee
WE GUARANTEE that you will be billed for each dishcloth at the very reasonable price of $150 (or equivalent), plus 100$ (or equivalent) for protective packing and insurance, until your collection is complete, or until we charge more (whichever happens first). This is a contract LEGALLY BINDING upon us, so complete your application form TODAY and send it in in complete confidence. SEND NO MONEY NOW, and in a month you will be thrilled to receive the first item of your collection. We cannot accept applications for more than TEN dishcloth collections per address, as this is a limited edition collection. When you decide your collection is complete, WE GUARANTEE to stop sending more dishcloths (after an interval determined by circumstances outside our control). No refund in any circumstances notwithstanding neither tort nor valium intervening for heretofore underwriting any client subsequently known as 'the client' nor the firm Frankly Mink Exchange® heretofore and below the line known as 'Frankly Mink Exchange®' shall be liable in all or no respects whether garnished either before or subsequently whichever shall be first. (This guarantee supplements and replaces your legal rights of redress and all purchases subsequently or previously made shall indicate an acceptance of this clause whether knowingly or unknowingly undertaken.)
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