Haunted +1997 JJ Arrow
Graham put the photograph on his desk face-down and got up abruptly, shoving his chair away in disgust. He ran his hand roughly through what was left of his hair and sighed, the air breathing out heavily, as if there was a leaden weight resting on his chest. He couldn't stand it anymore. He just couldn't stand it!!! His dreams, haunted, his eyes, haunted, his movements, haunted, his longings, his tastes, his wants, his needs, haunted haunted haunted by an ever-recurring image propelled forth by the missing piece of his soul. Or maybe he was just being melodramatic. But he still couldn't stand it.
What *was* it about his brooding, arrogant employer that drove him so wild? What *was* it that made him want to tear his hair out like a disgruntled postal worker? What the hell was the matter with him? So feral, so dangerous, when Graham saw right through him. Arcane always seemed like he was holding something so spiritually big that he could barely contain it. Something wild and raw and unpredicatable that nothing could control without talent. Graham wanted it. The pure pain and darkness that seemed to emanate from the man like crackling skyfirepower drew Graham in completely, snaring him, intricating him forever.
Not that he didn't like it when the doctor was happy, of course. He liked nothing better than to please Arcane, and make him happy. (And he was less likely to lash out when he was happy, anyway.) Graham was relieved that Arcane had finally, somewhat recently clawed himself out of the slump he had sunk into when his wife died.
But the doctor being happy was extremely different than... Graham shook his head. *Don't think about it Don't think about it* But he had to, he couldn't not. His mind scampered back to a far-too recent time, when Dr. Arcane had accidentally crossfired himself. Graham shuddered as he remembered, burned into his brain, that saccharin-sweet mirror image telling him gently that *his* Arcane was gone forever, and that it was over. He felt his entire body shiver. He never wanted to lose Dr. Arcane. It had gotten close to that once or twice, but the actual reality of losing Arcane now gripped him and terrified him. He didn't know what he'd do without the man. His mind, against his will, ran through the scenarios. How many, many ways there were that a person could die. He saw them all, and he tried to make himself stop. If anything happened to Arcane, if anyone tried to *hurt* Arcane, he'd--
He didn't know.
Oh, God. There were so many things about the doctor that had entranced him forever, it hurt to list them all. Not to mention that his boss was a damn sexy man, as Graham felt himself go hard. Graham suddenly stopped his fervent pacing, as It struck him. He would tell Arcane. Yeah, that was it. That's what he would do. He would march right into that elevator and--
--go right back out into the hall. No way. Yeah, he could see it now. "Doctor, I love you." He could just imagine the pink slip. He would be flushed like a belly-up goldfish. Right down the drain. But... but... maybe Arcane felt that way, too, and didn't want to admit it! Maybe there was a little longing for Graham in there, in that ice crystal of a heart of his! Yeah! He wasn't so bad looking! He wasn't without his moments, and he was a nice, intelligent guy! What was there not to like?
*A Y chromosome,* his mind reminded him miserably. Graham could feel his own face crumple. There was the possibility that Arcane was totally and completely straight. Like a board. A board with a nail in it. And tiny termites.
And then Graham thought about it. *Naaah.*
So it all came down to him. What the HELL was he going to do?
With shaky steps, he got into the elevator, mulling frantically as it whirred upwards. He could tell Arcane. And Arcane could fire him, and blacklist him, or even worse, let him keep his job, but avoid him at all costs. That would be torture.
Or Arcane could listen to him, and feel the same way, and they could have mad, wild sex on the floor. Graham didn't actually think that that last part was going to happen, but he still couldn't stop thinking about it.
The doors hissed open. Graham stepped into the lab, his heart in his throat. Arcane had his back to him, concentrating on something in the microscope on the counter.
"Dr. Arcane?" He stuttered on every syllable about five times.
Arcane seemed cheerful as he swiveled in his chair. "Yes?"
Okay. This was it. All or nothing. He fidgeted like a mad thing.
"Uhh, well, um... I just want to tell you: Ummmmm... Are you finished the experiment with the Zero Virus?"
Arcane glanced at him sidelong, his face quizzical. "We finished that last Friday, Graham, remember?"
Graham nodded, and made as if to back out of the lab. Arcane turned around, focused once more on his work. Graham coughed. "Dr. Arcane!"
Arcane spun around again, clearly exasperated. "Yes, what *is* it, Graham?" Graham flushed, paled, and flushed again before his face regained its normal color. Sweat beaded on his palms, and he clasped his hands, shifting weight from one foot to the other, and choking on his own nervousness and anxiety-fear. He took a deep breath.
"Dr. Arcane, I've been working with you for a real long time, and I'd, uh, just like to say that I've... kind of... come to... um... care about you a lot, and..." He swallowed. "And I love you."
This was it. Graham's heart pumped stacatto.
The doctor turned around quickly in his chair. "Oh, Graham."
And then Arcane grinned. "Doesn't everybody?";)
--end--Tell me whatcha think! <beg> Send comments to JJ ARROWs@aol.com
-JJ