ARCANE: GRAAAAYYY - UMMMMM!!!! These jeans are STUCK!!
GRAHAM (in elevator) : What did you DO?
ARCANE (mumbling something unintelligibly)
GRAHAM (entering bedroom) : What? I can't understand what you said, sir.
ARCANE (a little louder)
GRAHAM: I, er, I still can't make it out.
ARCANE: I tried to take my bloody jeans off WHILE I was wearing my SHOES!! THERE! Are you SATISFIED, man?!?!!!
GRAHAM: Well, um, do you need some, um, help?
ARCANE: No, of course not, Graham. I just thought I'd invite you up here to while away the rest of the evening chatting pleasantly, while I stand here with my trousers stuck around my calves. OF COURSE I NEED SOME BLOODY HELP!!!
GRAHAM: Well... um... er... ah... eh... heh heh... well... *sweating*
ARCANE: I'm waiting, Graham. Or should we just call in Security?!
GRAHAM: Well, first we might want to take your shoes off, and then it'll be easy.
ARCANE: I've tried that multiple times, it's no good.
GRAHAM: Well, what about steaming them off? It's been proven that vapor, at high pressures, in large concentration, even on thick fabric like this, will--
ARCANE: That's ludicrous.
GRAHAM: Er, well, maybe we could arrange a kind of system of pulleys and--
ARCANE: This is the best you can come up with?!
GRAHAM: Then what do you suggest, Doctor?
ARCANE: I'll sit on the bed and grab the headboard, and you yank them.
GRAHAM: I, um... I... I see. (After a minute of fidgeting with his hands, he walks over and tugs at the ends of the jeans) URGH! They're... unh... tough!!
ARCANE: Just pull harder, man!!
GRAHAM: I'm... ungh... I'm trying!! They're... they're moving a tiny bit... Oh, no, I'm just at a different angle. They're right where they were.
ARCANE (despairing) : I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life. GRAHAM (looking up) : Oh, don't be upset, Dr. Arcane. I'm sure they have surgery for this kind of thing. (Arcane just shoots him a black look.)
ARCANE (sighing) : Just try again.
GRAHAM: Hang on tight. UNRH!!! I can't!
ARCANE: Just try!!! (Graham strains some more.) HARDER!! HARDER!!!!
GRAHAM: Your fingers keep slipping.
ARCANE: They do not.
GRAHAM: I'll count to three, and you hang on, and I'll pull, okay? One... Two... THREE. NOW!!
(After some more grunting and moaning and sweating and panting, the jeans come flying off and land in the far corner of the room.)
ARCANE: Yes! YEEESSS!!!!
(Graham collapses onto Arcane in joyful exhaustion.)
GRAHAM (tiredly) : Heh heh heh... I was good, wasn't I?
ARCANE: Oh, you were marvellous.
(Meanwhile, Alec is standing in the elevator, as if he is about to break in to foil Arcane's latest nefarious plot, but is now thinking better of it. His eyes dart around nervously.)
;) WOW! That went on for a WHILE!!! :D :D I owe the inspiration all to you, Fran. :) :)