"I must admit, Alec Holland had good taste in women;" The scene opens with Dr. Arcane's voice being heard as we see a photograph of an
attractive blonde woman pinned up on a board; "It's a real shame I had to kill her." He continues, as the scene pans out and we see more photos of
the woman, with various lines and instructions drawn on them. "With a little cut here....a little snip there; I'll simply recreate Linda Holland." He
states casually as he draws some more dotted lines on the images and makes various measurements in preparation for surgery. "I waited a long
time....too long....to obtain the Bio-Restorative formula from the former Dr. Holland." Arcane continues to explain as we see another photograph;
this time of the same woman in a happy pose with a man. Although still off screen, Arcane is clearly regarding the photograph; "Hard to believe this
mass of slime and moss was once a man; much less a doctor." He continues to address whoever is in the room with him: The woman who is to be
the recipient of the forthcoming surgery; "You know I could do this surgery with my eyes closed." He boasts; "But don't fret. They shall stay open
for the entire procedure." He reassures her. "Now my dear; just relax, and trust yourself into my brilliant hands." We see his hands, covered by
surgical gloves, taking measurements of the face of a woman lying on an operating table. "You're going to put Swamp Thing right where I want him."
He begins to draw a dotted line from her forehead and down the centre of her face. "Now don't move. This won't hurt a bit.....Trust me"
Some time later (it's never stated how long), the woman is sitting up, her face swathed in bandages. Arcane is standing next to her, and begins
unravelling them. "Plastic surgery is so dull;" He says in a blasé and disdainful tone of voice; "Although you did present quite a challenge." He
continues removing the bandages as he's talking. "I prefer experimentation. It allows the imagination to run wild." He states like a pretentious artist,
as the last of the bandages are removed and he takes a long hard look at her. For the moment, we can only see the back of her head. He
contemplates, then rearranges her hair, as though putting the final touches to his piece of artwork. He turns away to look at the photograph of Linda
Holland again; then looks back at the woman. His face gives a broad, beaming smile as he looks thrilled with his work. "I never cease to amaze
myself!" he announces.
Well it's all very well and good....but I was
supposed to end up looking like Cher!
"A living image if ever I saw one." Arcane states, as he holds up a mirror for the woman to view herself. In it we see a perfect reflection of Linda
Holland's face. The beams, clearly very happy with what he's done. "You're good.....too good." She compliments him. He nods, but is still thinking
of practicalities; "Just live up to my work." He says. "I didn't go through all this not to." She says with confidence. He seems to want a test though,
and begins testing her training. "Tell me your maiden name!" He asks quickly. "Mason." She replies without hesitation. "Date of your wedding
anniversary!" He continues; "August 8th." Is her near instantaneous reply. "Your husband's pet name?" He steps up the pace of the questioning,
grinning broadly as though it's a game. "Einstein." She laughs, as though it's all too easy for her. "The name of your dog?" He grins broadly. She
laughs at the obvious trick question. "We didn't have one. Alec was allergic." He's very pleased. "Very good;" He praises her, kissing her
affectionately on the cheek and taking her by the hand. It's clear that she's more than just a test subject or accomplice to him. "I think you're about
ready to re-acquaint yourself with your husband." She looks back at the board to the photographs on it; asking Arcane that if Alec Holland no
longer looks like he does in the photos, what does he look like? "He's big.....and unusual! Trust me, you won't miss him!" Is Arcane's cryptic and
evasive reply. His tone becomes serious again as he adds a warning; that since Holland is now a creature of the swamp, he has all the wisdom of the
swamp; "And is not easily fooled." If Arcane came across previously as a man full of overconfidence and inflated self importance; it's now made
very clear that he's no fool, and not the type to overlook details and underestimate a situation. He takes her hand and they leave together.
Later, 'Linda' is exiting a building and walking down some steps into the streets of Houma. She's dressed very smartly in a formal red suit and hat.
She looks around, acquainting herself with the place. People pass all around her on the street. She walks for a while, passing a workman on a
ladder. She approaches a large set of wooden double doors on the same building, and enters. Inside, there's a crucifix on the wall. "I realise this is
an unusual request." She says, as she approaches a minister. It's clear that she has an appointment here as she goes over to a desk and sits down.
"Not entirely, but I am curious why, after 10 years, you've decided to hold a memorial service for your husband." The minister also goes over to the
desk and sits down behind it, now facing her. She explains that it's taken this long for her to be able to deal with what happened to him; "After Alec
was killed, I completely fell to pieces." She says. "I wasn't living here at the time, but I've heard about what happened.....only I heard that you'd
been killed as well." He tells her. She explains that she nearly was; that she was badly burned and it's taken all these years to put her life back
together. "Now I'm finally ready to lay Alec to rest." She says, somewhat ominously. The minister looks in a large desk diary. "Would tomorrow
afternoon be all right?" He asks. She replies that this is fine. He asks her if there's anyone he can call for her. "No. Alec and I were pretty new in
town. We really hadn't made any friends. We spent all our time working in the lab, and the few people we did know here in town.....they're not here
anymore." She tells him. "Well I'd be happy to make the necessary arrangements, Mrs. Holland." He says sympathetically. "Please. Call me Linda."
She replies. They then get up and the minister escorts her to the door, which he opens for her. She thanks him and bids him goodbye.
The next afternoon, in the cemetery, the minister is performing the memorial service at Alec's grave. 'Linda' is with him. There are flowers resting by
the headstone. All the while, Alec is watching them with curiosity from the hidden safety of the bushes. Just then, 'Linda' takes off the sunglasses
she's wearing to wipe away her tears, and lifts her head a little. She's wearing a large brimmed hat and her face was previously obscured. Now Alec
can see her clearly; and recognises her. He steps forward with a silent gasp, as though to go to her; then stops himself as he realises why he can't.
"Linda!" he finally exclaims aloud, in a voice filled with both surprise and sorrow. He watches the rest of the ceremony in silent anguish; then 'Linda'
and the minister leave together. Alec watches them go....torn.
Alec keeps his fingers crossed that asbsence
really does make the heart grow fonder
Later that night, 'Linda' is in her apartment. She's seated at her dressing table with a photo of Linda. She picks up a lipstick and applies it, checking
herself against the photo and smiling smugly at her success in her role. Satisfied, she takes another look at the photo, prepares herself and stands up;
then picks up her handbag from a table and leaves the apartment.
Outside, she walks down the same steps as earlier, onto the streets, where she goes for a walk. As she strolls down the street, she's unaware that
she's being watched by Alec, who's hiding below street level behind some railings. She walks past Finnegan's Bar and Grill, and as she does so, a
young man comes out and greets her. "Mrs. Holland?" He says. With her back to him she freezes in shock; then collects herself and turns slowly,
with a look of mild curiosity on her face. She sees a young man with blond curly hair. "I know it's been a long time, but you are Mrs. Holland, aren't
you?" She confirms this with a smile. "You probably don't remember me. I was just a little kid when you lived here." He continues. She looks
confused. "I'm Oboe Hardison. You knew my parents." She feigns gushing delight, taking his hand in warm friendship; "Oboe! How are you?" She
asks. From his hiding place, Alec watches.....and remembers.
After this disappointing attempt, the Hollands decide
never to invite Arcane to a wife swapping party again!
It's 10 years ago and Linda and Alec are at home together, having dinner. Alec looks preoccupied and is hardly touching his chicken; or the glass of wine by his plate. "What's wrong? You're not eating.....It's too well done, isn't it?" Linda asks him. He looks at her; "I never even noticed. Just too busy concentrating on you." He tells her, reaching out and stroking her cheek. Just then there's a knock at the door. They look at each other and Alec gets up and goes over and opens it. It's Arcane, who just looks past him and walks straight into the room. He's looking confident, holding his jacket casually over his shoulder. His hair is slicked back. "Good evening. I hope I'm not interrupting anything." He says, in a tone of voice that implies that he couldn't care less if he's interrupting anything. Linda looks dismayed to see him. "Only a quiet dinner with my wife." Alec says coldly. "Then I'll be brief;" Arcane replies quickly; "I've come to make you an offer, Holland." Alec looks behind him, to see that a burly lackey of Arcane's has come into the room too and is standing quietly, but giving a menacing impression. "Develop your Bio-Restorative formula for me, and I'll make you a rich man." Arcane continues. "I don't need your money, Dr. Arcane." Alec tells him firmly. "Everyone needs money, Dr. Holland." Arcane counters with an oily smile. "I'd rather see all my work perish than give you the formula. The thought of getting it into your hands terrifies me." Alec says, leaving Arcane in no doubt as to where he stands. Arcane doesn't give up. "Well it will someday; so you might as well get used to the idea now." He says with a broad grin and patronising tone of voice. "And that's all it is, Dr. Arcane.....and idea. It'll never be a reality." Arcane's expression becomes serious. "Never say never, Dr. Holland." He utters in predatory fashion. "I just did!" Alec reiterates. Arcane blinks twice, then turns to Linda, his pleasant facade restored again. He smiles and bids her goodnight. He then calmly leaves, with the lackey in tow. Alec and Linda watch them go with very worried expressions on their faces.
"There goes the evening !" mutters Alec, as Arcane
settles into his repertoire of lightbulb jokes
Back in the present, Alec is still watching. He hears a noise approaching, and darts for cover as a couple of people pass close by. He waits a few
moments after they've gone before coming back out, then continues to watch. Across the street, Oboe and 'Linda' are talking together. There is a
stark contrast to the gloomy shadows he's hiding in, and the warm, inviting light around the restaurant where they are chatting. Eventually, Oboe and
'Linda' bid each other goodbye and go their separate ways. Alec watches her for a little longer, then decides to leave, and begins to follow her.
'Linda' is walking down a dark and smoky alley. She pauses, as though she's heard something behind her. She doesn't look too surprised. She
turns, and sees Alec outlined in the smoke. Just then, his huge form begins to move towards her. She gasps and runs away, seemingly in fear.
"Linda! Don't go!" He cries to her; "I'm Alec!" She doesn't stop, and runs round a corner. Alec follows in hasty pursuit. She then finds her way
blocked by a pile of barrels. It's a dead end. She turns in fear, like a cornered animal, to find Alec standing right behind her, watching her silently.
"Get away from me! Leave me alone!" She cries. "Who are you?" Alec asks sternly. "Linda....Linda Holland!" She gasps after a brief pause to
collect herself. "That can't be." Alec replies. "Yes I am." She insists; "I came to lay a wreath on my husband's grave." She explains. "Your
husband....Who was he?" Alec questions her. "Alec Holland!" She exclaims. "I'm Alec Holland." He tells her. She looks horrified. "No! You're not
even human! Why are you doing this!? Alec is dead!" She feigns more shock and horror, claiming that her husband died in the explosion; that she
saw the explosion with her own eyes. "I'm the result of that explosion." Alec says to her. "NO!!" She screams as she gives him a final horrified look
and runs away. Alec remains where he is, looking desolate and disappointed; but he doesn't follow.
Her whining about my leaving the toilet seat up was bad
enough.....but the first mention of having chintz curtains
in my cave and she's getting bloody mutated!
It's now the following day, and the view pans down from an open window in 'Linda's apartment. Her clothes from the previous night are lying in a
pile on a table. Beside them, neatly folded over a chair, is a man's suit and clothing. Arcane and 'Linda' are naked in bed together. She's lying
completely under a white sheet, while Arcane is mostly visible, save for a little portion of the sheet which is covering those bodily places never to be
seen on TV shows like this. Both are drinking Champagne. "I was absolutely brilliant last night!" She boasts. "Yes, Darling." Arcane says with a
slightly more restrained voice. "Meryl Streep couldn't have played that part any better." She continues gleefully. Arcane doesn't look quite as
confident as her. "Well don't let it go to your head. We're only halfway there and Meryl Streep doesn't have to pull off what you have to pull off."
He cautions her gently. She doesn't seem in the least bit concerned at this and looks up at Arcane, grinning. She reaches over him to put her glass
down on the table. "Well I think he fell for it." She says casually, taking Arcane's glass as well, and disposing of it on the table, before snuggling into
him. "Maybe; But I've learned never to underestimate Swamp Thing." He replies whilst stroking her buttocks. "And I've learned never to
underestimate you." She flatters him, holding him close. "Just think." She says wistfully; "Once we get that formula we'll be young forever." Arcane
contemplates this scenario; all the while continuing to stroke her behind. "I wonder if forever will be enough time to accomplish all the things I intend
to?" He muses. She's struck by an idea and grins evilly. "Well, I know one thing we can do from now until eternity!" She purrs seductively, as she
slides her hand up his leg, under the sheet and into his crotch. "You've got such a one track mind." He grins, moving closer to her lips; as she moves
her hand round to stroke the side of his thigh and buttock; "I think that's why...I....so attracted to...." His words are cut off as they start to kiss
passionately, and foreplay begins in earnest.
It's dark and in The Swamp. Alec takes a gold charm bracelet and hangs it from the branch of a bush. "Let's see if you're really Linda." He states.
A short while later, 'Linda' arrives in the swamp. She's shining a torch and looking round the place. The entire area feels very mystical and she looks
with wonder at it. As she moves the torch beam around, it's light briefly catches and illuminates the gold bracelet on the branch. As she moves the
beam further to the right it catches a glimpse of Alec behind a bush; and he approaches her slowly. There's no fear this time. "Linda!" he says. She
looks at him calmly. "There was something about you last night. I can't explain it, but....I was fascinated and I had to find out if you were who you
claim to be." She explains, putting on a rather good performance. "I think you already know;" Alec replies with a gentle smile; "That's why you're
here." She smiles back. "You're right. I saw it in your eyes. They never lied to me before." She says, as she gazes into his eyes with apparent love.
They just continue to look at each other in fond contemplation; and Alec remembers......
It's 10 years ago again. Alec and Linda are walking down the street together, arm in arm. "You look tired. What do you say we go right to bed
when we get home?" Linda says to him. "There's just one little bit of work I still want to do tonight." He replies. "Alec! You've got to get some
sleep.....we both do. We're working on that Bio-Restorative formula for so long now we're going to forget what sleep is." She laughs despite the
frustration. They stop walking and face each other. "Just 5 minutes." He promises. She smiles, unable to refuse him. "All right, Einstein....5 minutes."
They kiss each other.
At the lab, which appears to be a rented boathouse, there is work in progress. A formula is being gently heated by a Bunsen burner on a
workbench. There are also 2 intruders already there. The first (the same lackey who was with Arcane when he interrupted the Hollands’ dinner) is
looking furiously through a bookshelf; the second is rifling through a filing cabinet with a torch. Just then the door opens and Alec enters. They all
see each other and the 2nd thug leaps from the cabinet to grab Alec. Linda enters the lab and screams 'No!". Alec fights back, punching the thug
away. The 1st thug then joins in and grabs Alec. Linda then grabs him and joins in. Meanwhile, the other thug has recovered and gets hold of Linda.
A fight is now well underway. Alec and the first thug slug away at each other and go flying over the workbench, knocking over the chemicals and
Bunsen, which sets the place alight. "Alec!" Linda screams. Alec seems to be winning his fight, but the thug grabs a beaker of green formula and
throws it over Alec. They then start beating each other up again. The flames are getting dangerously closer. Linda is being held back by the second
thug, and screaming. Seeing the flames taking firm hold, both the thugs make their getaway, as Alec is trapped in a corner by the now raging fire. He
calls to Linda, but there's no reply. By now he's on fire himself, the flames creeping up his leg. He struggles out of the lab and down the steps. He's
now engulfed in flames totally. Flailing in agony, he falls into the water and doesn't surface. The surface bubbles violently. Just then, the lab explodes
violently.
Don't try this at home, kids!
"I always thought you died in the explosion." Alec says, tenderly holding her hand; his mind now back in the present. "I assure you, I'm not a ghost."
She says, looking up at him. "More like a vision." Is his reply. She contemplates. "Maybe we were better off: Both of us not knowing about each
other?" She wonders. "Perhaps. It was torture losing you; and it's torture just seeing you again.....like this." He indicates his current condition. She
takes this as her cue. "If only we had the Bio-Restorative formula. I would be able to help you then. I could turn you human again." Alec thinks for a
while. "I have the formula." He states. She looks more excited, with a hint of confusion. "I....I thought it was destroyed in the explosion?" She
enquires. "No. I moved all my papers and never told anyone.....not even you. It was safer that way. I knew Arcane would try something, and when
he couldn't find my work, he destroyed my lab." He admits to her. "Give it to me." She says excitedly; "I'm still involved in scientific research. I can
reproduce it!" He ponders for a while, looking sad and contemplative; then comes to a decision. "All right. Give me until tomorrow....It's yours!"
She smiles at him and lovingly holds his hand with an act that Meryl Streep would have been proud of. Later, when she's gone, he goes over to the
branch and retrieves the gold bracelet, looking at it in expectancy. He then goes over to some undergrowth, from which he retrieves a hidden
framed photo. It shows Linda and himself from more happy times. He gazes at it and sighs. "How can you do this to me?" He says in anguish; which
is more than ambiguous. It could be that he's seen the deception; or simply that he knows he's so close to his wife and still in this form.
The next day, beside the swamp are some overgrown ruins of a building. Two boys are playing and running through it. It looks like they're going
fishing. Alec watches them from hidden safety amongst the ruins; and waits till they're out of sight. He makes a move, then turns in sudden surprise
as he hears a vehicle pull up. As he watches, two men get out of a red saloon car. "One of the great bargains of all time!" Brags an older man;
obviously a real estate salesman trying to sell the ruins to a prospective client. "Well, granted it's a fixer upper. They had a fire a couple of years
back." He tells the client, continuing to extol the virtues of how wonderful the place is; "Hell, for the price you're getting, you could tear it down and
start all over again...." He rambles on, commenting on what a dream house it would make. Alec watches them, comes to a decision, and leaves his
current hiding spot. The two men are standing near an overgrown, dilapidated wall. "You're away from the hustle and bustle of the city. You're close
to the water...." He continues, indicating the swamp. "...What more can you ask for?" They walk towards the wall. "What are the neighbours like?"
Asks the client. The salesman grins. "Neighbours? That's the beauty of it. There aren't any. No neighbours to fight with, or bother you....." They are
now standing directly in front of the pile of bricks and vines. "....All there is, is the natural beauty of the swamp: The flora and fauna, and....."
"AAAAARRRRRHHHH!!!!" roars the natural flora and fauna of the swamp, as Alec rears up from behind the wall with a maddened look on his
face and gesticulating wildly, like a ferocious monster. They take one look at him and run hell for leather in the opposite direction; straight past their
car like it wasn't there.
After that morning's fiasco, Alec wisely decided to
cut down on the caffeine intake in his diet
From the bushes, Dr. Arcane is watching all this with a smug grin. He takes out a pair of binoculars to give himself a better view. He sees Alec bend
down and remove a pile of bricks from the base of the wall. Alec then digs out a dusty old journal and dusts it down. "Never say never, Dr.
Holland!" Arcane gloats sardonically from his hiding place as he puts the binoculars away and leaves with a cruel smile across his face. Back in the
ruins, Alec gives the journal a long hard look.
Arcane arrives for his first lesson from
Alec, in ' bush lurking 101'
Next evening, 'Linda' is back in the swamp again and looking round anxiously, waiting for Alec. He arrives behind her and approaches. She turns to
greet him. They stand close, facing each other, and she looks down to see the journal in his hands. She reaches for it, taking both it and his hand,
lovingly. "Here it is. You know what to do with it." He says, taking her hand in his. "This'll give you new life, Alec; and give us back what we lost."
She says with beautifully faked sincerity. "Good luck." He replies to her, sounding genuine. "I won't need it. I know the formula will work;" She
retorts confidently, with a smile; "I didn't call you Einstein for nothing." She leaves, and he watches her go; his expression inscrutable as always, and
giving nothing away.
In his cave lab, Arcane is writing down notes and working. A flask is heating up, and test tubes are sitting in wooden racks. 'Linda' is behind him,
watching eagerly as he mixes the contents of two test tubes.
Some time later (he's either had a change of clothing, or has merely removed his jacket and brooch); he's made progress, and adds the contents of a
test tube to a beaker, containing a bright green liquid, that he's holding in a pair of tongs. As the contents mix, the liquid seems to glow with an extra
phosphorescence. She looks excited and thrilled. Arcane looks expectant; as though on the verge of a lifetime discovery. "There it is; the beginning
of my immortality....." he announces, removing it from the tongs and holding it up in his hand and shaking it a little to mix the contents. "....Our
immortality." She reminds him with a pat to his arm. "Of course. Just a silly slip of the tongue." He corrects himself; the mistake seeming genuine
enough and not duplicitous; as he puts down the beaker and picks up a syringe. He begins to fill it with liquid from the beaker. "Holland must have
been a very bright scientist." 'Linda' comments. "I hate to admit it, but he was a genius." Arcane says with a broad grin; "Fortunately, he was also a
lovesick fool!" He adds, whilst rolling up his shirt sleeve and preparing to inject himself. "How exactly does this formula work?" 'Linda' asks. "It
permeates the cellular structure; changing the DNA; and regenerating the body cells at such a vastly accelerated rate that...." he puts a needle on the
syringe; "....that theoretically; no one need ever grow old." He explains, removing excess formula and air bubbles from the syringe; preparing his
forearm and putting the hypodermic to it.
' Linda' relaxed after Arcane assured her
that it would only be a little prick !
She immediately rolls up her sleeve and puts her arm over his. "Ah, shouldn't it be ladies first?" She says eagerly. He grins broadly, looking at her wide eyed. He seems perfectly happy with this though; "I thought you were a more progressive woman.....but since you insist...." He injects her intravenously; and she gasps a little, first in seeming pleasure; then with a disturbed look crossing her face. Arcane looks at her expectantly. Her face appears bewildered and disturbed, and she moves away from him. "What's happening?" She asks. Arcane appears worried and confused. This isn't what he expected. "What's happening!!??" She reiterates forcefully. She moves to the cave wall, where she begins to twitch uncontrollably. A horrific realisation dawns on Arcane as he watches her fixedly. "He's changed the formula!" He exclaims. 'Linda' is still twitching like a marionette; "...It's not arresting the ageing process....it's speeding it up!" He utters in horror, watching her torment helplessly. "DO SOMETHING, DAMMIT!!" She orders him desperately. He immediately looks to the items on his workbench and frantically starts searching for something....anything suitable; then gives up and just looks back at her in mute shock, realising that there's nothing he can do. His face is a mask of disgusted horror as he sees what she's become: A wizened and gnarled crone looking well into her 100s. She looks slowly at her hand in shock. "Help me!" she croaks softly. Arcane grimaces at her, then looks away, unable to meet her gaze. "He must have been onto us from the start....but how?" He gasps, finally realising he's been played for a fool by Alec. He forces himself to look back up at her. She gazes at him pathetically; then at her gnarled hands which she lifts to touch her equally wizened face.
You do still want me, don't you, Anton?.....
In the swamp, Alec is gazing at the framed photo of himself and Linda, with the bracelet with it. "Using the heart as a weapon was cruel, Arcane;
but it's nothing less than I'd expect." He intones. He gives the photo another desolate look, then utters a long and anguished cry.
Back in Houma, Oboe is out walking when an old woman shuffles past him, head down. "Mrs. Holland?" He enquires. She says nothing and just
keeps on walking away. He stops and turns in surprise, considering this; then just shakes his head. "No, it couldn't be." He mutters; and continues
on his way.