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As you can see, I know nothing of writing teleplays or operating a camera.
This is solely for your amusement, gentle reader. Please don't kill me.
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ORACLE
A Swamp Thing teleplay in three acts.
c1997 JJ Arrow
-Act One-
(ARCANE'S LABORATORY. Thursday, 2:30 PM.)
GRAHAM is SEATED in a chair in front of a computer. ARCANE ENTERS and
appears to be very excited. He is carefully holding a petri dish filled with
a strange red substance. He walks toward Graham --who seems VERY involved
with whatever he's doing -- and stands behind him.)
ARCANE
Graham! This is it, I'm sure of it! I've done it!
I've perfected the genetic virus! This one
culture can infect an entire species of plant
or mammal! Are you finished storing the ex-
periment data in the computer?
Graham turns around, looking a little dazed.
GRAHAM
Uh, sorry Dr. Arcane... you were saying?
ARCANE
The data, have you finished--
(he looks closer at the computer, setting the
petri dish down carefully)
Hello... now what is this?
GRAHAM
(nervous)
Heh, ah, well, it's the Oracle of Kevin Bacon.
ARCANE
(some sarcasm)
Well thank you for enlightening me, Graham!
You know, I don't pay you to go prancing about
the glittering Information Superhighway like
this.
GRAHAM
Well, actually Dr. Arcane, you haven't paid me
in over a month...
ARCANE
Heh heh, well Graham, you know, there's been
budget cuts and other such unpleasant--
(suddenly aware that Graham's attention is
focused on the Bacon Oracle, rather than him)
Graham!!!
GRAHAM
Huh?
ARCANE
Graham, I've never seen you so transfixed!!
GRAHAM
(admittedly)
It's rather addictive. See, it's kind of
like The Six Degrees of Separation, only
between various actors and Kevin--
(A sudden epiphany seems to strike Graham. He begins typing furiously.)
GRAHAM
(somewhat to himself)
Hmmm... let's see... yes, I'll type in
John de Lancie, they'll have never been
in the same-- Oh... With Julia Roberts in
"Taking Care of Business" and she was
in "Flatliners with...
(His face falls.) Only two degrees; only
two links apart.
ARCANE
I must say, Graham, you're doing rather pathetic.
GRAHAM
I'll try Jack Lemmon.
(He types in the name. A beat passes.)
Oh, no...
ARCANE
(impatiently)
All right, that's enough of this drivel, Graham.
I need that data.
GRAHAM
I've got it!!! Joe Pesci! There's no way they
could be related!
(He presses SUBMIT. A beat passes, and
a horrified expression crosses his face.)
ARCANE
Oh, no.
GRAHAM
That's rather embarrassing.
ARCANE
The SAME movie?! For the love of God, Graham,
step aside!
GRAHAM
(reluctantly)
Um, all right...
(Arcane cracks his knuckles and sits down in the chair in front of
the computer, as Graham gets up, and stands behind him.)
ARCANE
Now, let's see... Julia Ormond... Well that's just insane!!!!
GRAHAM
Only TWO??!! Try Robert DeNiro.
ARCANE
(grimacing)
No, no, no, that's just as bad. What about Richard
Dreyfuss?
(Same day -- Thursday, 5:30 PM.)
(Arcane enters the lab to see Graham in the chair, typing away at the
Oracle.)
ARCANE
Graham, you stole the chair!!
GRAHAM
You've been doing the typing for three hours,
Dr. Arcane.
ARCANE
It's hardly my fault if I have to attend to my
physiological needs.
GRAHAM
(distracted)
Buddy Ebsen!! Perfect. I'm guessing on at LEAST
seven links.
(Graham presses SUBMIT, and then turns around to face Arcane as the computer
goes through its gyrations.)
Rusty brought some of the contents of his wine
cabinet into the labs. We should treat ourselves --
I think we beat it.
(Both of them direct their attentions toward the computer screen, as mixed
looks of horror, shock, and disgust settle on their faces. A few beats pass
in shocked silence.)
ARCANE
(slowy, numb)
Graham, where exactly does Rusty keep his
beverages?
GRAHAM
I'll go.
(Thursday, 5:35 PM. Arcane is seated at the computer. Graham enters.)
GRAHAM
The refrigerated storage area was locked.
I think Rusty might have taken the key home.
ARCANE
(eyes still glued to the screen)
Did you check the ice box?
GRAHAM
That has Mirador's brain in it, sir.
ARCANE
(shuddering)
Remind me to throughly cremate that thing
tomorrow.
(Thursday, 7:15 PM.)
(Arcane is seated at the computer. Graham is very excited.)
GRAHAM
Jaleel White! Type in Jaleel White!
(Arcane types the name in with alacrity and submits it. The screen then
states that he has spelled the name incorrectly.)
ARCANE
"Name spelled incorrectly"?! What the devil?!
GRAHAM
(confused)
But-- but-- you spelled it right!!!
ARCANE
That's how it wins. It bloody cheats.
(Thursday, 9:00 PM.)
ARCANE
Wretched Kevin Bacon. I'm going to kill him.
GRAHAM
Kevin J. O'Conner. Four links. That's our best yet.
ARCANE
Bloody obscene, that's what it is.
(Thursday, 9:23 PM.)
(Graham is seated at the computer.)
ARCANE
Charlie Chaplin, Graham! Type in Charlie
Chaplin!!!
GRAHAM
Whoah, calm down Dr. Arcane, I've got it, there...
ARCANE
For the love of every man's God, spell it
correctly!!!
GRAHAM
(insisting)
I did!!!
(They stare at the screen.)
ARCANE
My God...
(He pauses for a beat, and then laughs nervously, a little crazily.)
This is all a hallucination. That -- that number
is merely the product of excess brain activity.
GRAHAM
I think Mr. Chaplin's turning over in his grave
right about now.
(Thursday, 11:49 PM.)
(Graham is still seated at the computer. Arcane is watching the screen
intently, biting his nails. DR. ANN FISK ENTERS the laboratory, stalking
toward Arcane.)
FISK
(menacing)
Arcane...
(Arcane spins around.)
ARCANE
Why hello Miss Fisk. What brings you here
this late?
GRAHAM
I've got it!!! James Cromwell!!!
ARCANE
Well, type it in Graham!
FISK
What the hell are you two *doing*?!
GRAHAM
I think we beat it, Dr. Arcane... look how long the
the computer is taking to process it.
ARCANE
(with malicious glee)
Ha ha, now I've got you, my little Analytical
Engine... A cold machine is never a match for pure
human intellect! Let that be a lesson to you, Graham.
FISK
(in exasperation and anger)
Arcane, you and your goons poisoned a rare
swamp rat -- one of the last of it's kind! What
do you have to say for yourself?
ARCANE
(He turns around to look at Dr. Fisk confusedly.)
Wait, what did you say, Miss Fisk?
(He turns back to the screen quickly and reads the message.)
Graham! Did you add the second "L" in Cromwell?
GRAHAM
(sighing)
Yes... I'll re-type it.
(beat)
I spelled it right! I know I did!
FISK
Arcane, dammit, Alec and I need an antidote!
There are dying swamp rats out there! Don't you
have any compassion?!
(She pauses for a moment, inevitably drawn to the Oracle. She turns to
Graham.)
Did you add the second "L"?
GRAHAM
(at the end of his rope)
YES!!! Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Fisk, I didn't notice you there.
HEY!!! I spelled it exactly right!!!
ARCANE
What a load of bollocks.
(Friday, 2 AM.)
(Graham is *still* at the computer. The gleam of obsession is in his eyes.
Dr. Fisk is staring at the screen intently, as if mentally willing some actor
to get the hell away from Kevin Bacon. Arcane looks rather haggard.)
FISK
Graham, it's my turn. You've been typing forever.
GRAHAM
Have we tried Chris O' Donnell yet?
FISK
No, go for it. But come on, Graham! You've got
the comfortable chair! We've been standing up for
two hours!
(Arcane turns to Dr. Fisk, speaking in hushed tones.)
ARCANE
(conspiratorially)
Good. You keep talking to him, and I'll get
the revolver.
FISK
(in shock)
Arcane! He's your right-hand man! You'd kill
your own dog if it got in your way, wouldn't you?
(Arcane fidgets uncomfortably. How did *she* find out about Fluffy? His eyes
brighten as he realizes who else he can bump off.)
ARCANE
Kevin Bacon, then?
(Meanwhile, Graham is on the verge of breaking down and sobbing, as he
moans--)
GRAHAM
Two links. Always... two... links...
FISK
(clasping Arcane's hand)
It's a deal.
(Friday, 4:15 AM. Dr. Fisk and Graham are at the DOOR of the REFRIGERATED
STORAGE AREA. Dr. Fisk is tapping her fingers impatiently on the door, as
Graham waits on the cellular phone he has in his hand. He is also carrying an
intercom unit.)
FISK
Is Rusty home? Can you get the key?
GRAHAM
It's busy.
FISK
Damn. I'll get the crowbar.
(Graham clicks on the intercom, speaking into it.)
GRAHAM
Dr. Arcane, how are you doing up there?
ARCANE'S Voice O.S
DAMN YOU, KEVIN BACON!!! DAMN YOU TO THE
FIERY PITS OF HELL!!!!
(There is a pause.)
FISK
The sooner we get that Manischewitz, the
better.
(Friday, 5:38 AM. CAMERA PANS OUT from the dawn-streaked horizon over to
ARCANE'S RESEARCH FACILITIES.
CUT TO the inside of the laboratory, where WE SEE the following vingette:
Dr. Fisk is seated at the computer with murder in her eyes. Graham is
looking quizzically into his empty shot glass. Dr. Arcane has passed out on
the floor. The scent of liquor is heavy in the air.)
FISK
Everyone *can't* be two links!!!!
GRAHAM
(wincing from his alcohol-induced migraine)
Stop talking so loud!!!
(CAMERA MOVES IN ON Arcane. His eyes flicker open, and he begins to awaken.
He lifts his head slightly.)
ARCANE
(groggily)
Graham... was *I* in a movie with Kevin Bacon?
GRAHAM
(gently)
No. Go back to sleep, sir.
(Arcane smiles peacefully.)
ARCANE
'Kay.
(He slumps back into oblivion.)
FISK
(drunk, pointing at the computer screen)
Yeah, okay buddy... you an' me... I'll hit you *so* hard,
that your granma'll wear army boots... yeah, thass what
I said, Bacon Boy... you wanna piece of me? Yeah, come and
get it... (slurred) Kissmya--
(Her forehead thuds onto the keyboard.)
FISK
Ow...
FADE OUT
-Act Two-
(Friday, 5:59 AM. FADE IN to the sight of a Mr. Coffee chugging away on the
counter in the laboratory. The words "PROPERTY OF RUSTY" have been fixed to
the Mr. Coffee's base with a label gun. CAMERA PANS ACROSS THE COUNTER and
WIDENS THE VIEW so that we see the trio at the computer, CLOSING UP on them.
Dr. Fisk is still doing the typing. Arcane is watching the screen with an
extremely anxious expression, and he is fidgeting. Graham is clutching
Arcane's hand tightly. A few beats pass in tense silence.)
FISK
Damn...
(Arcane bites his knuckle. Graham begins to sob on Arcane's shoulder. Dr.
Fisk swivels in her chair and pats Graham on the shoulder comfortingly. She
looks up at Arcane.)
FISK
I think we're going to need divine intervention
at this point.
(Graham suddenly looks up, desperate to grasp any ray of hope. His eyes shine
excitedly.)
GRAHAM
Rusty left his OUIJA board in the lab!!
ARCANE
(a bit exasperated)
Graham, is there anything dear Rusty *hasn't* left
in this lab?
GRAHAM
His virginity.
(Arcane closes his eyes and shudders.)
ARCANE
I'm really, really, *really* very sorry that I even asked.
(CUT TO: Graham kneeling on the floor, pulling the OUIJA board out of its box
and setting the pointer at HELLO. The three sit on the floor in a sort of
circle around the board: The board is facing us; Graham is sitting on the
right of it, and Dr. Fisk is sitting on the left, with Arcane at the north
side, the board facing him completely upside down. They all place their
fingertips upon the ivory pointer reverently. Arcane closes his eyes and
begins to intone, with the usual histrionics--)
ARCANE
O Omnscient Spirit of the OUIJA, we place
ourselves humbly upon your timeless mercy.
We call upon us the departed spirit of one
General Sunderland... of whom we are all very
fond... and request that he answer a question
of ours, using his wisdom recieved with death.
GRAHAM
But sir, do you think this is wise? He held
your wife captive for seven years, and then
tried to torture you from beyond the grave!
ARCANE
(menacing)
Do you want to beat the Oracle or not?
GRAHAM
Right.
FISK
Let's get this show on the road, guys. We don't have a
screen saver on...
(Arcane closes his eyes once more.)
ARCANE
General Sunderland, can you hear us?
We're in need of your aid. We need to know
of an actor--
FISK
--or actress...
ARCANE
--that has no connection whatsoever
through television or film with the man
Kevin Bacon.
(The pointer begins to move beneath their fingers. The trio gets
understandably excited, especially Arcane.)
ARCANE
Ha HA! A true connection with the spirit
world! Impart your wisdom on us, old man!
(Dr. Fisk spells out the letters that the pointer highlights aloud.)
FISK
A-R-C-A-N-E...
(She pauses, and then looks annoyed.)
All right, who's moving it?!
ARCANE
GRAHAM!!!
GRAHAM
It wasn't me, I swear!!
FISK
(to Arcane)
You moved it, didn't you?
ARCANE
I bloody well did not!!!
FISK
(highly skeptical of Arcane's word)
I've never seen one of these pointers move
that well for anyone.
ARCANE
(loftily)
Some of us are a bit more attuned with the
divine than others, it seems.
FISK
Some of us need all the help we can get.
ARCANE
I'm cut to the quick, Miss Fisk.
GRAHAM
Look, it's moving again!
(Dr. Fisk once more begins to read the letters that are spelled out.)
FISK
A-R-C-A-N-E-I-M-G-O-I-N-G-T-O-K-I-L-L-U
U-S-O-R-R-Y-S-O-N-O-F-A--
ARCANE
Heh heh, I think it's time to put the nice
OUIJA back in its box, now...
FISK
I-W-A-S-O-N-L-Y-J-O-K-I-N-G.
(wryly)
I think the General wants to stay and play.
GRAHAM
(warning the board)
No more death threats.
FISK
F-I-N-E.
GRAHAM
General Sunderland, sir, could you tell us
who might possibly *not* be connected to
Kevin Bacon? We're really stuck on this one.
FISK
(getting excited)
It's spelling out the name 'Louis'...
GRAHAM
(jubilant)
Ha HA! Finally!
(He hugs Dr. Fisk, grinning madly. Meanwhile, Arcane still has his hands on
the pointer.)
ARCANE
We still need a last name...
GRAHAM
J... O... U... R... X... Q... Z... 1... 2... Huh? It's all
turning into gibberish.
(His face falls.)
ARCANE
BLAST!!
FISK
(thoughtfully)
Maybe he was trying to say Louis Jourdan.
GRAHAM
Who???
ARCANE
The name sounds familiar... yet... odd.
(Dr. FIsk tries once more to entreat the board.)
FISK
(desperately)
General Sunderland, please tell us the last name of
this Louis guy!!
(The pointer moves toward the words GOODBYE. Arcane puts his head in his
hands and rocks back and forth. Graham moves over and holds him.)
(Friday, 6:38 AM. CLOSE UP on the COMPUTER SCREEN. The name Brent Spiner is
in the name line. WE WATCH the arrow click on SUBMIT. CAMERA TURNS GENTLY
AROUND to Arcane, who is seated and typing, the view WIDENING to include Dr.
Fisk and Graham in the picture. Graham is standing up and is brushing his
teeth. Dr. Fisk is draining the dregs from her coffee mug, which
incidentally, reads, upon close inspection, BIOLOGISTS DO IT IN THE SWAMP.
Both Arcane and Graham need to shave. Dr. Fisk looks a little disheveled as
well. Arcane mutters a curse or two under his breath. Graham turns to Dr.
Fisk, gesturing to her empty coffee mug.)
GRAHAM
(his toothbrush still in his mouth)
Are you done with that?
(Dr. Fisk nods wearily, handing him the mug. Graham spits his toothpaste into
it. Dr. Fisk gives him an extremely disgusted look. Just then, SHARP PAN with
the HAND-HELD toward the door where WILL and SWAMP THING/ALEC HOLLAND burst
in, searching for Dr. Fisk.)
ALEC
(relieved)
Ann, you're all right.
(He approaches her protectively. Will looks pissed. Arcane swivels around in
his chair.)
ARCANE
Well, if it isn't Adam West and Burt Ward.
GRAHAM
Did we try them yet?
FISK
*Hours* ago, remember?
(Meanwhile, Will is stalking toward Arcane.)
WILL
(contemptuously, to Arcane)
When Ann disappeared, we knew *you'd* have
your neck in it somehow.
(However, Dr. Fisk is ungratefully oblivious of the rescue attempt, still
staring intently at the computer screen.)
FISK
This might be it. Hush, Will.
(A few beats pass, as the computer's hard drive whirs.)
FISK, GRAHAM, and ARCANE
*DAMN*!!!
ARCANE
Back to the bloody drawing board.
GRAHAM
I'll go put some more coffee on.
(Graham heads in the direction of Mr. Coffee. Will turns to Alec, clearly
concerned.)
WILL
Alec, they've brainwashed her!
ALEC
(holding up a hand)
No, Will. There is a force here stronger than even
Arcane's insanity.
(Alec grasps Dr. Fisk firmly by the shoulders, spinning her around to face
him.)
Ann. Whatever this strange force is, you're
becoming highly addicted to it. Listen to me.
This is madness. It...
(He falters, his attention wavering between shaking reality into his dear
friend, and the inevitable, even more seductive call of the Oracle, beckoning
him.)
It's madness... and yet... strangely compelling...
WILL
Did you guys try Pauly Shore?
(Friday, 8:00 AM. Graham snaps.)
(He stands up from where he has been seated, typing, pushing the swivel chair
away violently. His eyes are crazed and feverish.)
GRAHAM
HA HA HA HA!!! I know why we can't beat it!
(He points all around at the motley ensemble.)
You're all Kevin Bacon! I knew it all along! You
tried to hide it so well, but I could see! I thought
I had flipped out, but it's you! All of you! You're all
Kevin Bacon! Kevin Bacon everywhere! All of you!! AH
HA HA HA HA HA--
(Dr. Fisk slaps Graham upside the head.)
FISK
Get a hold of yourself, man! Pull yourself
together!!!
(Will grips the raving assisstant by the forearms.)
WILL
Come on. We're all stuck in this together, now.
We can beat this thing. Just hold on.
(gently)
Do you want me to take over for you?
(Graham nods, dazed, as Arcane guides him away gently.)
ARCANE
Come along, Graham. We'll make you a nice
toddy.
GRAHAM
(tiny voice)
Okay, sir...
(Friday, 8:16. Graham is curled up on the floor, seemingly asleep, clutching
a large stuffed pink bunny to him -- most likely one of Rusty's possessions.
Alec is standing over him, with Arcane behind him.)
ARCANE
It almost seems eerie, the way he just fell
directly asleep like that.
ALEC
He seems more comatose than asleep.
ARCANE
(worried)
All right Graham, that's enough of this. Wake
up.
(Graham does not respond.)
Come on, wake up, you blithering idiot! We need
your help on the Oracle! You're the one that got
us all sucked into this blasted mess!
(Graham still does not move. Arcane begins to shake him desperately.)
Graham!! Graham, speak to me!! Graham!
ALEC
(moving Arcane aside)
I'll see what I can do for him.
(muttering)
This Oracle has brought nothing but sorrow.
All whom it entraps are made to suffer.
(Suddenly, before Alec can do his swamp thing, Graham awakens and looks up at
Alec.)
GRAHAM
(groggily)
Ohhh... I just had the most *wonderful*
dream about Dr.--
(He suddenly notices Arcane standing nearby.)
--Stella.
ARCANE
(perplexed)
Graham, Stella's not a doctor.
GRAHAM
Uh... She was in my dream.
(Meanwhile, Will is at the computer looking particularly happy.)
WILL
WOO HOO! Julia Roberts in the *same*
movie! Beat that, guys! Yeah!
FISK
Um, Will, I think there's something I should
explain to you about the point of this game...
(Friday, 9:15 AM. Alec, Dr. Fisk and Graham are huddled around the computer,
while Will is typing. We see their backs, and the computer screen through the
eye of a camcorder.)
ARCANE'S Voice O.S
Smile for the camera, Graham.
GRAHAM
(shyly)
Hi.
ALEC
What scheme are you trying now, Arcane?
(P.O.V changes, so that we see Arcane. He aims the video camera down for a
moment.)
ARCANE
It's brilliant, isn't it, Holland? Since this bloody
Oracle seems bent on telling us that everybody on
the face of this planet is connected in some way
to our nemesis Bacon, than we can just make our
own movie. He'll never find us! Never glimpse us!
I'll get this little tape produced, and we'll have the
game beaten once and for all!
WILL
(still staring at the screen)
That's it. He's gone nuts.
FISK
(we see her through the camcorder)
Arcane!!! Get that camera out of my face!!
My hair's a complete mess!!
ARCANE
And just think: people can see it like that
for generations to come.
FISK
(trying to wrest the camera away from him)
Give me that.
(Arcane manages to hold on to it, scampering backwards and video-taping her.
Dr. Fisk gives chase. Meanwhile...)
GRAHAM
(as if struck by an epiphany)
Todd Michaels.
ALEC
You mean...?
GRAHAM
Yes.
WILL
I'm submitting it.
(A beat passes.)
GRAHAM
(moaning)
No...
WILL
Todd!! You've betrayed us!!
ALEC
(to himself)
I am now convinced of the supreme evil this
Oracle contains. And yet, I do not have the strength
to draw myself away, or protect those dearest to
me. The power the swamp lends me is useless
against a force so strong. This is a curse.
It must be.
(We are still focused on the trio at the computer, but now WE NOTICE Arcane
running past in the background, still trying to shoot Dr. Fisk with the
camcorder.)
ARCANE
(shouting from the background, running)
Have you tried Angela Lansbury??
(He runs out of the picture, followed half a beat later by Dr. Fisk in
pursuit, who yells--)
FISK
After that, try Lee Meriweather!
ALEC
What about Sean Astin?
(Friday, 10:57 AM. Will is off in a corner of the lab, strumming a guitar
that is labeled "PROPERTY OF RUSTY".)
WILL
(singing)
Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya...
(Alec, Fisk, and Arcane are standing to one side, watching Will with horror.)
FISK
(grimly)
Poor kid. I knew the stress was bound to crack
him sooner or later.
ARCANE
(shaking his head)
He was far too young to handle such stuff. It's a
shame, really.
ALEC
Kevin Bacon has caused far too much pain and
suffering. He *will* die for this.
ARCANE
I'll go get Rusty's machine gun.
FADE OUT
-Act Three-
FADE IN
(Friday, 11:11 AM. Alec is leaning against the wall, sleeping, and snoring
like a mofo. Arcane has konked out on the ground near him. Will is also
asleep, hugging Rusty's bunny. Graham, too, is asleep, and is hugging
Arcane's arm.)
FISK'S Voice O.S
I'VE GOT IT!!!
(Everyone jolts awake. Will sits up and knocks into Alec. Graham sits up and
knocks into Will. Arcane is dragged upward by Graham's hold on his arm. He
wrenches his arm away. The guys race over to the computer. Arcane stares at
the name on the screen that's being submitted.)
ARCANE
That's totally preposterous.
GRAHAM
(hopefully)
But it's the most obscure actress we've found
this far. Maybe...
WILL
Holy... This could be it!!!
ALEC
(clasping Dr. Fisk's hands)
Ann, I knew you could do it.
(Arcane turns to Dr. Fisk.)
ARCANE
You wonderful, beautiful woman. I love you.
(He kisses her passionately. Before Dr. Fisk can react, Arcane spins around
to Graham, elated.)
This is it! Vindication! Dance with me,
Graham!!
(However, Graham's eyeballs are glued to the screen along with Will. The lab
asisstant's expression is one of pure joy.)
GRAHAM
Sir, look how long it's taking! She did it! We did
it!
WILL
This is it, I know it...
(The whole gang stares at the screen in unadulterated happiness. They start
cheering and group hugging as if they've just survived being trapped in an
Alaskan avalanche for three months. Dr. Fisk hugs everyone in joy, including
Arcane, when she realizes who she's hugging and steps back a little.)
WILL
Guys!!! The new screen's coming up!!!!
(They race back to the computer, huddled around the glowing screen
expectantly, in a reverent hush. Graham suddenly remembers something, and
gets a cell phone out of his pocket.)
GRAHAM
This is the happiest day of my life. I have to
call my mother. (He begins to dial.)
ALEC, FISK, ARCANE, and WILL
(excited beyond belief)
[Censored by the FCC] has a Bacon Number of--
(Graham winces, as a sudden hissing sound bursts in his ear from the phone
reciever. There are a few short beeps, and then a long one, and then a deep
*CLICK*.)
FISK
(reading the message on the screen slowly, not quite
comprehending what has just happened)
You have just been disconnected from America
Online. The line connecting your modem has been
lost...
(Her voice trails off, as the group stares in stunned silence for a few long
moments.
Everyone slowly turns around to stare at Graham.)
(Graham drops the cell phone, and begins to chuckle nervously.)
(A beat passes.)
FISK
Get him.
(Graham runs like the wind. Fisk and Arcane leap up and give chase. A beat
passes, and suddenly, Alec lunges toward the computer and tears it apart
until it is completely destroyed.)
WILL
(bewildered)
Why'd you do that???
ALEC
(panting from the exertion)
It was far too great a power for any of us
to control, and stay sane. It drew us in so
deeply, entranced us so completely, even the
natural powers of the swamp were at a loss
to neutralize it. We must learn from this, Will.
Such an obsession could be fatal... could drive
even the most sane of us to pure madness. Perhaps
now, we will behave as rational creatures, now that
the danger is gone.
(Arcane runs in front of them, almost in a blur, followed almost immediately
by Dr. Fisk.)
ARCANE
Running is futile, Graham!!!
FISK
Bolt the doors!!!
(Will and Alec exchange glances. A few beats pass.)
WILL
So... Can we kill him, now?
ALEC
I'm right behind you.
FADE OUT
-finis-
:)
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TV show. This was just a silly little thing, and not meant to infringe on the
copyright.
The way cool Kevin Bacon Game was created by Brett Tjaden and Glenn Wasson
for AAAA Web Service.
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