IF YOU LIKE STAR WARS, THEN YOU’LL PROBABLY LIKE.....
There follows a list of things that the
average Star Wars fan might like other than
their favourite science fiction setting. Although not everything below is sci-fi, the
content and setting might be appealing.
It
goes without saying, really, that these movies
are included in the list. Also from the imagination of George Lucas,
and a lot closer to the ‘Saturday Morning Matinee’ feel than what
he intended for his Star Wars films, the content is simple –
One Hero, One big Adventure, One whole messy actionfest. Not only because it stars
Harrison Ford (Han Solo of course) but also because it
presents to you a vast canvas of possibility, even though the films are, basically, about
the adventures of an archaeologist, of all things. Looking at the three movies in the
series you can see a similarity between them and the original Star Wars
trilogy. The first is quick and action-packed, the second darker and more brutal, the
third taking the best parts of the first two and slapping them together, bridged by
several innovative action sequences.
Oh, come on.... anyone who says that
someone who likes Star Trek doesn’t like Star Wars
is either a die-hard or an idiot. I remember the pictures of Trek
fans picketing the Episode 1 movie in 1999, with banners such as
‘Phasers Stun/Blasters Kill’ and ‘Violence doesn’t stop a War’
but let’s face it – those guys are probably paying top dollar for some serious
world-class psychiatrists. Star Trek, especially the later films and all
the TV series (Original Trek, The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and
Voyager) have some excellent visual material and some very good character content.
If you want to watch some serious action then check out the Deep Space
Nine episodes with the big space battles – especially the final episode What You Leave
Behind which contains probably the best TV space battle I’ve ever seen. You
can’t accuse Star Trek of being about a bunch of new-age
space hippies blasting about in starships forcing human values on the universe. Well,
maybe you can with some of the stuff but in general it’s excellent.
Well, in general it’s a pretty
rubbish film but you can’t knock it for its entertainment value. It’s got
everything a sci-fi action fan needs. Explosions, fighter battles, huge weapons of mass
destruction, some of the best special effects on the scene – a kiddie’s
roller-coaster ride, to be sure, but the visual value is great.
This series suffers from the fact
that the creator of it tried so hard to be different he simply ended up emulating
everything that’s come before but on a different level. It’s got some wonderful
special effects and an excellent premise – a space station being the diplomatic
centre of warring factions – and in general managed to keep the viewer hooked. That
is, until it got so convoluted plot-wise that you just shrug and end up watching it in
case there’s a space battle. Just like the short-lived follow-up series Crusade,
it suffers from the fact that nothing is simple. The characters can’t seem to do
anything without a speech or a historical reference and you end up wishing that
they’d just get on with it and stop quoting their grandfathers or explaining why they’re about to do something. Although it
did disappear up it’s own backside towards the end it does contain some brilliant
visuals.
But it’s great! Those little puppets, bouncing about on the
ends of the little wires, which the makers try so hard
to hide. Beautiful models being blown up in extreme circumstances. Fireball XL-5,
Stingray, Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet, UFO, Space 1999, Terrahawks, Space Precinct...
well, the last two weren’t great, but they were entertaining in their own way. Fair
enough, it’s for the kiddies but I guess I plopped it in here because of that –
I grew up with this stuff.
Oh, please. It’s got a bunch of people with
extreme ordnance blasting the crap out of digitally rendered bugs. What more do you want?
Fair enough, the neo-fascist state the heroes existed in was little off-putting but
that’s the way it is to help explain the violent tendencies of the human race –
and why they felt the need to waste a whole bunch of nasty arachnids who you simply wanted
to be wasted on-screen. Let’s face it, the bugs are probably the most politically
correct bad guys you’d want on the screen and you don’t feel bad watching them
get pasted.
With a well-written story and some
rather atmospheric effects this one is for those of you who want to get a little further
under the skin of combatants in a space war. Detailing two enemies who have to work
together to survive on a hostile planet (one human, one alien) it’s a very well
constructed story with some amusing and heart-warming references. Watching the starfighter
battle is pretty cool, too.
It’s not here for any other
reason other than the fact that I love it so goddamn much. If you want to see a movie of
political intrigue and one man’s struggle/sacrifice then you won’t get much
better than this. In fact, most Roman Empire movies are a great source of intrigue, what
with Emperors and Republics vying for power (sound familiar?) and the hill Rome is built
by is called Palatine.
Strange, huh? Check out Spartacus and The Fall of the
Roman Empire and you’ll see more intrigue you can handle!
It’s not the fact that it’s
full of clichés, jokes and a totally unconvincing plot, its here because it’s
action-packed and fast moving. Just like any good Star Wars movie. It has startling eye-boggling
effects that almost literally leap from the screen and headbutt you in the synapses –
when you first see it you become blissfully unaware that you’re continually mouthing
‘wow’.
Even though it wasn’t the
world’s best stab at science fiction I do think it has several things going for it.
An excellent opening fighter battle sequence, for one, and some good action sequences that
are well paced and frantic. The designers obviously went into overdrive with their far-out
imaginations on screen but the visual references will give you some good ideas for your
own material.
or any other naval warfare movies
with tense, exciting moments. Films like these lock you away from the world outside and
concentrate on the men and women (although mostly men) who risk their lives in battle on
or under the waves. If you like the tenseness of space combat then you’ll dribble
over the sheer excitement, or terror, of naval combat.
Sergio
Leone Westerns/ Young Guns movies
Now, Han Solo
is one of the best-loved characters of the Star Wars movies and the scent of the
underground makes many fans of the movies go wide-eyed and piques interest. Much like the
old west, with guns on hips and strange eye-movements (mainly on the aliens), the
‘feel’ of Han Solo is very cowboy-ish. Watching these
kinds of western movies, and seeing the action between the characters and the atmosphere
of the old frontier, has much the same edge.
If you haven’t seen any of the
above then it might be worth you’re while checking them out. I can only go by my own
references, of course, and tell you about what makes me go all goose-pimply when I see it
and no doubt you have your own preferences. There’s a stack load of movies out there
that emulate the Star Wars feel. There are some supposed
blockbusters, though, that just make you want to puke...
So, John-Boy wants to kick alien
arse, eh? So what does he do? Takes ‘The Magnificent Seven’ and changes them for
aliens/allies against a dastardly bad guy who’s about as frightening as the Energiser
Bunny. Couple that with terrible special effects and the worst ‘it’s got
breasts’ starship you can imagine... a contender for the crown it is not.
Someone’s idea of a joke, I
reckon. With an evil superpower and a young boy with strange powers on a desert planet
this is probably the worst attempt at sci-fi since... well, ever. Avoid at all costs. In
fact, I think some video rental shops have it in and are also identified by
‘detour’ signs.
The up-to-date American version.
Please. Someone shoot me in the head.
Oh, come on. You didn’t think I’d write all this and not complain about something, did you?