PADME COMES RUNNING IN

 

Padme: They've arrested Anakin!

All: What? What?

Padme: They dragged him off! They're gonna stake him!

Wedge: Right! This calls for immediate discussion!

Padme: What?

Sibling: Immediate!

Sibling II: Right!

Leia: New motion?

Wedge: Completely new motion! Uh, that, uh, that there be, uh, immediate action...

Francis: ...uh, once the vote has been taken.

Wedge: Well, obviously once the vote has been taken resolution the resolution!

Padme: Wedge, let's go now, please!

Wedge: Right, right! In the - in the light of fresh information from sibling Padme...

Leia: Ehm...not so fast, Wedge.

Padme: Wedge, for Goodness sake! It's perfectly simple! All you've gotta do is to go out of that door now and try to stop the Imperials sticking a stake up his arse! Its happening, Wedge! Something's actually happening, Wedge! Can't you understand? Oooh!

 

FRUSTRATED, PADME RUNS OUT

 

Wedge: Yeah, hello. Another little ego trip from the feminists...

Leia: What?

Francis: [Whistle]

Wedge: Oh, sorry, Leia. Uh, read that back, would, you?

 

 

CUT TO:

 

DETENTION CENTRE EXIT. A LONG LINE OF PRISONERS ARE BEING CHECKED OFF BY AN OFFICER SUPERVISING THE STAKINGS

 

Staking Supervisor: Next! Staking?

Prisoner I: Yes.

Staking Supervisor: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one stake each. Next! Staking?

Prisoner II: Yes.

Staking Supervisor: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one stake each. Next! Staking?

Wiseguy: Uh, no, freedom.

Jailer I: Uhm?

Staking Supervisor: What?

Wiseguy: Uh, freedom for me. They said I hadn't done anything. so I could go free and live on a moon somewhere.

Staking Supervisor: Oh, oh, that's jolly good: Well, off you go, then.

Wiseguy: No, I'm only pulling your leg. It's Staking really.

Staking Supervisor: Oh, oh, I see, very good, very good. Well, out of the door...

Wiseguy: Yeah, I know the way, out of the door, one stake each, line on the left.

Staking Supervisor: ...line on the left, yes, thank you. Staking?

Prisoner IV: Yes.

Staking Supervisor: Good.

 

 

CUT TO:

 

THE STREETS OF MOS ESPA. A HUGE CROWD HAS GATHERED TO HEAR PALPATINE'S ADDRESS

 

Emperor Palpatine: People of Tatoowine! Cowuscant is your fwiend!

 

THE CROWD BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER

 

Emperor Palpatine: To pwove our fwiendship it is customawy at this time to welease a wongdoer from our pwisons.

 

THE CROWD ROARS WITH LAUGHTER

 

Emperor Palpatine: Whom would you have me welease?

Man in crowd: Release a Wodian!

Tatooine Crowd: Yeah! Release a Wodian! Release a Wodian! [Laughter]

Emperor Palpatine: Vewy well, I shall welease a Wodian!

Tatooine Crowd: Yeah!

Vader: Sir, uh, we don't have a Rodian, sir.

Emperor Palpatine: What?

Vader: Uh, we don't have anyone of that species, sir.

Emperor Palpatine: Ah. We have no Wodian!

Crowd: Aah...

Man: But what about Wee-Yees, then?

Tatooine Crowd: Yeah! Release Wee-Yees! Release Wee-Yees! [Laughter]

Emperor Palpatine: Vader, why do they...titter so?

Vader: Just some, ehm...Tatooine joke, sir.

Emperor Palpatine: Are they...wagging me?

Vader: Oh, no, sir!

Guard: [Giggle]

Emperor Palpatine: Vewy well, I shall welease a Wee-Yees!

Tatooine Crowd: [Laughter]

Vader: Sir, we don't have a Wee-Yees either.

Emperor Palpatine: No Wodian, no Wee-Yees?

Vader: Sorry, sir.

Emperor Palpatine: Who is this... who is this Wee-Yees to whom you wefer?

Man: He's a wobber!

Tatooine Crowd: [Laughter]