ALL FORTY-TWO STORMTROOPERS MARCH INTO THE HOUSE

 

Vader: You know the penalty laid down by Imperial law for harbouring a known criminal?

Moisture Farmer: No.

Vader: Staking!

Moisture Farmer: Oh.

Vader: Nasty, eh?

Moisture Farmer: Hm...could be worse.

Vader: What do you mean, "Could be worse"?

Moisture Farmer: Well, you could be stabbed.

Vader: Stabbed? Takes a second! Staking lasts hours. It's a slow, horrible death.

Moisture Farmer: Well, at least you get you out in the open air.

Vader: You're weird.

 

THE STORMTROOPERS MARCH OUT AGAIN

 

Officer: No, sir, couldn't find anything, sir.

 

VADER TURNS TO MOISTURE FARMER

 

Vader: Don't worry, you've not seen the last of us, weirdo.

Moisture Farmer: Big nose.

Vader: Watch it!

 

THE DOOR IS CLOSED. EVERYONE COMES OUT OF HIDING

 

Moisture Farmer: Phew! That was lucky.

Anakin: I'm sorry, Wedge.

Wedge: Oh, it's all right siblings, he's sorry. He's sorry he lead the fifth garrison straight to our official head quarters. Well, that's all

right then, Anakin. Sit down! Have a scone! Make yourself at home! You klutz! You stupid, bird-brained, flat-headed...

 

ANOTHER LOUD KNOCK FROM THE DOOR. EVERYONE HIDES. ANAKIN GOES BACK OUT ONTO THE BALCONY WHICH IS READY TO COLLAPSE

 

Prophet III: ...with a great juicy melon behind...

 

MOISTURE FARMER GOES TO THE DOOR

 

Moisture Farmer: My legs are old and bent, my ears are grizzled, yes?

Vader: There's one place we didn't look. Stormtroopers!

 

THE STORMTROOPERS MARCH INTO THE HOUSE AGAIN

 

Moisture Farmer: I'm just a poor old man, my sight is dim, my eyes are poor, and my nose is knackered.

Vader: Have you ever seen anyone staked?

Moisture Farmer: Staking is a doddle.

Vader: Don't keep saying that!

 

THE STORMTROOPERS MARCH OUT AGAIN

 

Officer: Found this hydrospanner, sir!

Vader: Well done, sergeant! We'll be back...oddball.

 

THE MOISTURE FARMER CLOSES THE DOOR AND WALKS BACK IN. EVERYONE COMES OUT OF HIDING BUT THERE IS ANOTHER LOUD KNOCK

 

Vader: Open up!

Moisture Farmer: You haven't given us time to hide!

 

THE BALCONY GIVES WAY. ANAKIN LANDS ON A PROPHET AND KNOCKS HIM COLD

 

Anakin: Aargghhh!

 

THE CROWD APPLAUDES

 

All prophets except Anakin: And at that time...all sinners...red serpent...men shall burn...fire...

 

A STORMTROOPER LOOKS AT ANAKIN DUBIOUSLY SO ANAKIN THINKS IT WISE TO PRETEND TO BE A PROPHET TO MOVE AWAY SUSPICION

 

Anakin: Don't, ehm...pass judgement on other people, or you might get judged yourself.

Man in crowd: What?

Anakin: I said: "Don't pass judgement on other people, or else you might get judged too".

Man in crowd: Who, me?

Anakin: Yes.

Man in crowd: Oh, oh, thank you very much.

Anakin: Well, not just you, all of you!

Racing helmet man: That's a nice racing helmet.

Anakin: What?

Racing helmet man: How much do you want for the racing helmet?

Anakin: I don't, you can have it.

Racing helmet man: Have it?

Anakin: Yes. Consider the plants of the desert...

Racing helmet man: Don't you want to haggle?

Anakin: No. ...in the Dune Sea...

Racing helmet man: What's wrong with it, then?

Anakin: Nothing, take it!

Woman in crowd: Consider the plants?

Anakin: Oh, well, the Krayt Dragons, then.

Man in crowd II: What dragons?

Anakin: Any dragons.<