Everyday Problems

2000 short story by Jonathan Hicks

Eight years after Episode IV – A New Hope

With a flick of her wrist and small smile Luschia Arkensaw tossed the credstick over the counter towards the bartender. He caught it deftly between his pincers and his mandibles clicked in his own species’ version of mirth.

   “Pleazure doing buzinezz...” the insect began.

   “Stow it, bug-breath,” Luschia cut the alien off and headed back to the hovering table she and Arkin were occupying. Her freshly dyed hair, long and curly with a hint of auburn, bounced lightly as she swaggered across the bar turning a few heads of several species to regard the short but lithe human figure. She slumped into the fixed seat in front of Arkin and smiled at the lizard-like features of her friend.

Arkin was huge, at least two and a half metres tall, with a muscular frame that stayed the right side of physically possible. His face was flat but scaled, with horny protrusions jutting out at irregular places. His slitted eyes narrowed as he focused on Luschia.

   “Another bet lost?” he asked, his voice so deep the glasses on the table vibrated. As he leaned forward the armrests on the chair he occupied threatened to crack.

   “I had one thousand credits on Amagad Assassins to get through to the Hardball League finals against Zelon Fliers. I guess I knew that having Dodge on the team was a bad idea.” Luschia scooped up her alco-bulb and took a swig, letting the burning liquid slip down her throat. She slammed the bulb back down on the table, apparently angry but with that same hint of humour dancing around the corners of her mouth.

Arkin shrugged and placed a huge hand around his own glass filled with a creamy brown substance.

   “You should know better than to bet against Kit’Kitch, Ziggy employed him for a reason. He’s sharp,” he motioned towards the bartender with his glass.

   “Yeah, Ziggy employed him and loved him so much he sent him to Amagad to work. That was nice of him.” Luschia looked over at the bartender and saw that the insect’s cluster of eyes were already regarding her, the mandibles still quivering.

   “And if he doesn’t stop laughing at me I’m going to stick that credstick down his central orifice.” It was as if she was only telling Arkin but her voice was slightly raised; the insect got the message and tried to keep his humour disguised. Several other regulars also glanced over at Luschia with smiles on their faces.

She turned away with a shake of her head.

   “Those guys are gonna regret that,” she murmured into her bulb.

   “Speaking of regrets,” Arkin said after a long gulp of his drink, “you said that you employed me because you regretted something. Care to fill me in?”

Luschia drained the rest of her bulb and looked around the room. After she waved over a waiter she leaned forward so that both of them were huddled over the table.

With a whisper she said, “It’s not regret, just a shame, really. I’ve managed to mess up one of Predd Jason’s friend’s operations pretty badly.”

   “How badly?”

   “Well... he’s dead.”

 Arkin nodded.

   “I see...”

Luschia shrugged.

   “He left me no choice. I was just trying to get through the landing pit he was using and he thought I was customs. A fight ensued and a vehicle missile was introduced into the discussion.”

   “Of course, you didn’t know he was loading illegal goods...”

   “Ah, Glann mentioned it, but...”

   “I see.”

Luschia understood that Arkin didn’t want to know all the facts because knowledge was not only a boon it was a danger in the Setnin Sector. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

   “So,” Arkin took his re-filled glass from the waiter and waited until he had departed before continuing, “you want me to look after you for a few days, watch your back. This dead guy has got some powerful friends, I take it.”

   “Yep,” Luschia nodded, taking a quick sip of her drink, which was threatening to spill over the sides of the bulb. She carefully placed it on the table. “Jan told me you were the protective type.”

Arkin laughed loudly, his heavy tone sounding like a thrusting bulk freighter.

   “I’m a professional bodyguard, that’s all. And as a professional can I point out your first mistake?”

As if expecting this, Luschia nodded.

   “Be my guest.”

   “Your favourite place on Amagad? Zythlies Dropout Parlour...” Arkin looked around the room, indicating the location with a wave of his hand. “You’re wanted and the guy’s bound to have contacts on Amagad. Where will they look?” Once again he swept his gaze around the room.

A long-nailed finger tapped on the table as Luschia also indicated their location.

   “This place is perfect for what I’ve got planned.”

   “Planned?”

Arkin always became wary when Luschia gave away cryptic information for what she was about to do. It usually led to various weapons in use and severely high damage costs. He narrowed his eyes, his pupils widening as he became intrigued.

   “Look, Arkin, I hired you because I need a little insurance in case what I’ve got planned goes awry. I’ve seen you fight. I’ve watched people run away from you when you snarl...”

   “Did you see me get shot last month over the argument in the lobby up at Glann’s? I wasn’t even involved.”

   “Hey, nobody’s perfect. It’s just that I know a little bit more about the dead guy’s friends than I knew about him and I’ve taken certain precautions. The dead guy’s brother is a man, quite good-looking actually, with several connections in the guilds and he has access to a couple of top guys I’m aware of. Killers. Not up to Feese standard but good enough...”

The small transport shuttle settled into the landing pit. The Vecjar’s Cross in orbit was only over Amagad for a while and the shuttle wasn’t staying but that was fine by the two figures descending down the ramp. The two Weequays walked briskly across the landing pad and swept past the official walking towards them.

The shuttle blew out gases and started to ascend.

At the exit the two aliens were stopped by security ‘droids and scanned. Each of them carried a heavy blaster but that was well within the regulations of the city. Satisfied, the security ‘droids allowed them to pass.

In the bustling street they stopped and look around the city without any sense of wonder at visiting a new planet.

   “We must acquire rifles,” said the first one and tuned to his compatriot.

   “And then find Zythlies Dropout Parlour,” said the other and nodded.

They entered the crowds and headed for the trade centre.

   “Assassins?”

Luschia nodded.

   “Shooters. Take pride in their ability to nail a target at long range and sneak away. Tunnill’s been on about hunting them down for ages but he’s never got around to it and I’m afraid I might have to rob him of the glory.”

   “So, how are you going to stop these two shooters from popping a bolt in your back?”

   “Now, that was the tricky part. First, I gave Grabby’s Gun Shop a call and started waving my credstick around...”

The Weequays entered Grabby’s Gun Shop and looked around warily before approaching the counter. The short four-legged creature behind it whined nervously and looked at them with concerned eyes.

   “We require heavy long-range weaponry,” said the first Weequay with a deep threatening voice, glaring at the creature. The creature growled and ran out the back.

   “What the...” a tall human came out of the same room and looked at the two customer. “What do you think you’re doing, scaring my dog?”

   “Our apologies, we thought it worked here.”

   “Oooo-kaaayy.....”

   “We require long-range weaponry.”

   “Sorry, bud, I don’t really get much of that kind of stock in, it makes the governor nervous. I’ve got two Quickfire’s though; they’re not too expensive. All I have got, actually...”

   “It was very simple to get him to hide the rest of the stock he had as far as rifles went and just have these two Quickfire’s handy. I guess Grabby doesn’t employ many people with scruples.”

   “Or sense.”

Luschia smiled.

   “Well, it’s amazing what a credstick can do.”

There was a crunch as Arkin bit into the cooked ribs he had ordered and which had been delivered as he listened to Luschia’s story. He carefully wiped his mouth with a napkin as he chewed.

   “So what did you do next?” he asked.

   “Then it was a simple case of planting a couple of explosives.”

Arkin gagged on his food.

The first Weequay settled down onto the roof and nestled the rifle into his shoulder, trying to get a feel for the weapon he had just purchased. The second one did the same, squatting into a kneeling position and checking the settings before levelling his weapon.

The sights they were using switched on automatically as they took hold of the handgrips, the zoom function locking on and focusing the target so that they each had a clear view from the top of the building, over the busy speeder traffic and into Zythlies Dropout Parlour.

   “She has someone with her,” the first one noticed.

   “He is not the target. Concentrate on your objective,” said the second. “Fire on my mark. Three, two, one...”

   “Sorry, say that again...”

Luschia sighed and took another swig from her bulb.

   “I said I wired the firing mechanism so that when the exciter chamber goes active it sets off a charge I put into the handgrips, which in turn sets off the blaster packs.”

Arkin shook his head.

   “And what if they bring their own weapons?”

Across the street, on the roof of the opposite building, two explosions threw rubble smoke in all directions. Speeders slid to a halt to avoid debris that scattered over the road, beings dived for cover and a siren, sounding somewhere far away, started to whine. Arkin stared out of the window of Zythlies, amazed at the sight before him. Ash and dust started to settle as some beings poked their heads out from dark alleys and from behind speeders to look up at the top of the building where the explosion had occurred.

   “There’s your fee, Arkin,” Luschia said and dropped another cred-stick into the huge lizard’s lap.

   “Wha... hang on, I’ve only been working for you for ten minutes!”

   “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I think this little emergency has blown over.”

Everyday Problems

2000 short story by Jonathan Hicks

Eight years after Episode IV – A New Hope

Histories – One of the very few Luschia Arkensaw stories, written soon after the characters apparent death in a roleplay game.  This short Jonathan Hicks tale shows the devious and suspicious nature of Luschia and the lengths to which she would go to protect herself.

Cast of Characters

Luschia Arkensaw

Arkin

Grabby Cap