From Select, a sex issues poster
Do you remember the first time?
Yes. Horrid. Those horrible heaters with the three orange bars... I remember looking at one of those thinking, 'This hurts, I want to go home.'
Do you remember the last time?
Yes. It was this morning.
Are you sexy?
Depends what mood I'm in and how much beer I've had.
Who else is sexy?
Tim Roth. He's rough and ready, he looks like he'd get it on any time and wouldn't need a bath beforehand. And he's never clean shaven - I like a man with a millimetre of stubble. Especially blond stubble.
Who is not sexy?
Charlie Sheen, cos he always looks like he tries too hard. And Michael Douglas when he flashes his arse all the time and thinks he's dead gorgeous. There's really nothing worse than a man who thinks he's gorgeous.
What is the most depraved act you've ever committed?
I've never done anything like that. In fact, I've only ever done it doggy-style once. That's about as depraved as I get.
Which is better, love or sex?
Depends how much beer you've had. But, saying that, I do like love.
And finally, any regrets?
No. Losing your virginity? I suppose you have to at some point, don't you?