ARCHIVES: TUESDAY 8TH APRIL 1997 -WEDNESDAY 23RD APRIL 1997

I COULDN'T STAY AWAY...

OK, I said that there would be no updates today, but this is important.

John Burton:

"As you may have noticed, our "friends" at Minos Games Ltd have pulled our existing web site, so you will now be able to locate us at http://quake.perfect.co.uk/ukcl/ .

We would also ask that you no longer email us at ukcl@minos.co.uk, but send mails to BOTH jc.burton@dial.pipex.com AND rls@ftech.co.uk . The UKCL no longer has any type of association with Minos Games Ltd other than that they have a clan entered in the league."

Rick Owen said the following about the UKCL statement:

"We were forced to do so [pull the UKCL website] because you [UKCL} decided to put an advert on your page without clearing it with us, or the company that owns the web server. Furthermore you had removed all reference to Minos, which is harsh given that last weekend I seemed to be running the whole show myself at several points. The interests that the web server owner had in Minos were not being served by your pages, and therefore he pulled them. Ironic timing, since last night we switched over to our own web server where we exert more discretion over contents."

I hope that the UKCL and Minos can reach an understanding on this point.

WHERE WE COME FROM, THERE IS ALWAYS MUSIC IN THE AIR

A couple of updates on the UK-Sweden International match. Firstly, if you couldn't get through to PrY on the email I gave you yesterday, try this.

Secondly, the timing for the trials has changed. If youi're involved in them and haven't heard about that, email PrY.

THE OWLS WERE SILENT

Updates are going to be minimal or non-existant up to either Wednesday or Thursday, as I'm working on the Modem Clan War special. If you are a member or leader of one of the Clans involved and would like to comment on how well you think you'll do, one of the admin team and want to comment on your vision for the MCW, or just want to pontificate on it, email me. The more information and comment I have, the better the special will be.

I AM THE ARM, AND I SOUND LIKE THIS

Twin Peaks is back on terrestrial TV at last. Hoorah!

QUAKE IS COMING HOME- II

You'll no doubt have heard that an "official" international match between Sweden and the UK is scheduled to take place this coming Saturday. There has been some controversy over a list of players that has been posited by the UK organiser, PrY, and it is to his credit that he has listened to it and decided to hold open trials.

"As part of the UK Team selection, the uk team admin are going to hold trials to find the top 15 players to play our international against SWE this sat.

Please could you only enter the trials if you really are among the best in the country- e can't cope with every quake player and his dog playing.

UK International Team Trials

Wednesday 23rd April"

If you want to enter the trials, email Pry.

IS IT A CLAN? IS IT A TEAM? IT'S- PENDRAGON...

Uther Pendragon emails me with the following announcement:

"I have quit Clan Pendragon (which I formed). No hassles involved, I'm just focusing on Capture The Flag.

I am putting together a group called TeamPendragon to play CTF4 games exclusively (possibly with a touch of TF ). I have some of the big names in the UK Clan Scene already signed up, but I am still looking for members.

Applicants must be good teamplayers, etc, etc, etc... Email me if you're interested. "

Is it a Clan? Is it a Team? There's no need to decide...

MCWWW?

The Modem Clan War's old WWW page is out of date. CP-Spirit, the new MCW administrator, tells me that

"The new look web page is being designed as we speak, by Keeper (a new KoD), and Fab (an old timer KoD), and is shaping up very nicely."

When it is finished, it will be hosted on Spirit's site. In the meantime, email Spirit or check NFTF (today's gratuitous self-promotion) for MCW news.

UKOOL?

Yes, the UK One-On-One League is progressing nicely, with a Web site now up, and details of the format and UKOOL admin team (which is huge) now more-or-less finalised.

The UKOOL will work on a "division" system, similar to that used in football: high-ping and low-ping players will start out mixed together randomly, and will gradually separate out into divisions of equally-skilled players. This is a superb idea, and I can't think why it hasn't been used before in a Quake tournament. With any luck, it should ensure that players in the UKOOL get fair and enjoyable matches most or all of the time.

The European Quake scene appears to have mobilised behind the UKOOL, with 10 people so far on the administration team, and two private servers offered exculsively for the UKOOL's use. So far, all the signs seem to indicate that this will be an excellent addition to the UK Quake tournament scene.

With 69 players already signed up, Onyx has set the deadline for entries as the 12th of May, with the League currently set to start on the 19th of May. It's going to be fun.

MCW-COMING SOON...

Yes, as I'm sure you know, the Modem Clan War is restarting next Wednesday, with CP-Spirit at the helm of the admin team. The final line-up of Clans in the MCW is huge, including such notable Clans as the Demonic Core, Clan Corpus, Clan Pendragon and the QPD, as well a a lot of new Clans I've never seen before ( Legion of the Insane, KFC, Mere Mortals and the Fallen Angels, amongst others) and other old favourites like BOG and the Dogz. Notable absentees include the Frag Kings and the Quake Lords, although of course either could be cometing under another name.

The schedule for for the first week of MCW games looks exciting, with such matches as Clan Corpus versus Demonic Core ( 9pm, Wednesday) and the Weedkillers versus TD ( 8:15, Thursday) sure to see some brilliant play and fast, furious action. The ex- Terminal Gibbage players within Clan Corpus, in particular, say they are looking forward to their chance to get even with DC after their beating in the UKCL, and so that should be an excellent match, with great players and teamwork present in both Clans.

The scheduling for the games is tight: with only 15 minutes between matches, things could easily slip, and it will be interesting to see whether the league can function on such a tight schedule. One of the complaints about previous leagues has been the length of time sometimes taken between games- if Spirit and the other MCW organisers can make the MCW function on this much tighter schedule, it could be a valuable lesson.

NFTF will be presenting an MCW special next week, focusing on all the Clans involved in the Clan War, as well as the vision the organisers have for the re-formed league. If you have anything you'd like to add to that special, be it news, information or comment, please email me with it.

Good luck to all the Clans in the MCW!

QUAKEATHON!

Yes indeed. Shoot And Surf, the games-oriented internet cafe, are running a "marathon quake session" through the night of the 4th of May. Yes, indeed, you did read that right. All night.

Ledge of SNS says "It's going to be £20/head for one computer all night. As we have 18 machines, and two of us want to play, there are only 16 places available, so I'm going to give them out on a random basis if there are more than 16 people wanting to play. "

Just to recap: that's 12 hours of play on an IPX network with 17'' monitors and all the gizmos, for £20. And he thinks there might not be 16 people interested. Fine. Whatever.

If you're doing nothing better on the 4th and 5th of May, email Ledge for more details.

MERE MORTALS (AND SUJOY TOO...)

Talking of new Clans, Boywonder has put a few screenshots from a friendly involving one of the new Clans in the MCW, Mere Mortals up on QuakePerfect. If you want to know what you'll be facing, check them out.

ANOTHER LEAGUE? NOOO...

But yes. CC-Onyx mails me to inform me that he is starting another Quake league, the UK One-on-One league, intended to focus solely on one-on-one games of Quake. The league isn't completely formulated yet, but Onyx says:

"We are aiming big (100 ppl, 10 divisions), and it looks like we are going to make it , with 30 applicants in 24hrs. So far we have several big names signed up, including Fragga, Sujoy, Ettu, Quicksilver, Danold, Dragontung and loads more.

So watch this space- it is going to be HUGE!"

If you want to enter (I might yet- or I might just report on it), email Onyx.

The UK Single Player League has proved that there's a lot of enthusiasm out there for one-on-one games, and with most of the nascent and actual leagues focussing on Clan as opposed to individual play, it looks like the UKOOL (another funky acronym) could fill an important gap in UK Quake life. Good luck to Onyx and everyone else who becomes involved- I will, of course, be reporting on its progress.

'ERE WE GO AGAIN...

John Burton emails me with this announcement:

"The UKCL are running ANOTHER 4x/QW 1.55 test on Death32a tonight and would appreicate if as many people as possible could turn up so that we can get 32 people onto the server.

This test is going to be a little long winded as we are going to try and figure out whether it's NT, Linux or the QW that is causing the mod to crash and will try it out on a couple of servers.

If you can make it please be in #ukcl-chat (the new general UKCL channel on clanet) between 8:30pm and 9pm tonight."

WHOA, MAN, FUNKY COLOURS.

I worry for those kids sometimes, I really do.

Bongazilla, leader of the Weedkillers (presumably recovered from that nasty incident with John B and the tear gas) and the hyperactive CC-Onyx have collaberated on a report which, well- perhaps I'd better let him explain it.

"It is I, Bongzilla, Ambassador of Sensimilla to the UK Quake Community, and grand high priest of the Weedkillers Cult!! (Or the Spice Clan on days when we feel like dressing up in drag.....)

CC-Oynx (or Onyx), (or Oxyn), (or just simply Oinks) and I have collaborated on a shocking expose on how much drugs have assimilated into the culture of UK Quake..........much like the infamous Pork Riblet revelations in the US.

This strange phenomenon is indigenous to the UK Quake Scene, and it is on the rise. The report will shed some light on the matter, and will also help potential Quake Junkies detect the warning signs of their impending downward spiral into the smoky recesses of...........GIB-LIVION.........

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAAAHAHAAA!!!

TOUCH DA SCREEEEEEN"

Well, if you can make sense out of that you're doing better than me.

I'd just like to say that no matter how much you admire the iconaclysm of the Weedkillers, smoking or ingesting illegal substances isn't big, hard or clever. However, playing Quake whilst drinking green Chartreuse out of the bottle certainly is.

I've just got more style.

AND THE RESULTS ARE IN...

Well, we've found out what happened to those UKCL results that I mentioned had gone AWOL yesterday. John Burton followed up clues and hunted them to their lair, then teargassed them as they lounged inside drinking illegally imported vodka and smoking Cuban cigars*, took them down with tranquiliser darts as they stumbled out, retching and stunned, and dragged them back to civilisation for sentancing and punishment.

And so (drumroll please), here they are.

The Frag Kings lost in a shock result to The Desperados, as reported last week, 125-104. Demonic Core administered their trademark beating to Clan Nasty, 334-63. Ouch.

This result sets off some interesting speculation, with The Desperados, previously written off as an interesting but middle-ranging Clan, demolishing league favourites FK. The Desperados are set to play current league leaders the Quake Lords next week, and TD.Kenzie says of that match that they are in "are in giant killing mode." Could we see an upset? If I can possibly make it, I'll bring you the exculsive report.

* An unfortunate incident earlier in the chase, when John mistook a home-rolled reefer for the Cuban tipple of his target, has been smoothed over, with the UKCL making full reparations to the members of the Weedkillers involved.

COULD YOU GIVE A 4X FOR ANYTHING ELSE?

Look, it's a cool title, ok...

You know, of course, about the 4x league, being run by the UKCL, in which not two but 4 Clans will compete in each game. However, you don't seem to much care. John Burton:

"Well we're half way through the application period for the 4X League and the response so far hasn't been as good as I'd hoped. As we speak only 10 clans (11 teams) have signed up for the 4X League.

I would remind you all that, as with the Weekend League, once the 4X League starts it's season no new applications will be accepted until the season finishes, so if youwant in make sure you send your application through before the deadline, 6pm GMT Friday 25th April.

Current 4X League members are :

Quake Lords, SPG, Clan Pendragon - KOD (x2 teams), Bog, The X, QPD, Riders of Telgar Weyr, The Desperados, Clan-Zed and Clan Nasty

If you fancy entering your clan into a league where it's 4 teams battling it out in one match, then get your clan leader to drop us a line with the email entitled "4X Application" and containing your clan name, url and 2 email contacts.

The proposed start for the league is Saturday 3rd of May 1997."

The 4x league sounds cool, and I'm looking forward to reporting on it, so get on with it, people!

MONDAY 14TH APRIL

UKCL WEEKEND ROUNDUP- AT LAST...

Take 2- Gods, I hate Netscape Gold sometimes.

With Weeks 8 and 9 of the UKCL Weekend League, the league has undergone some surprising changes. Amongst other things, the two weeks- which, for organisational reasons, actually stretched over the last month- have seen the fall of another unbeaten Clan, and the rise of several others.

In Week 8, the big shock was the fall of the Frag Kings, previously one of the three remaining unbeaten Clans, losing narrowly to the formidable and often underrated CIX Clan, 144-118. CIX, counting as their members such well-known players as Coerj and Dark Raven, have only lost two matches so far, and could now be in a position to score highly or even win in the League.

At the other end of the scale, the Riders of Telgar Weir, a Clan with considerable style but little substance, managed their first win against the Quake United Tiger Attack in a very closely fought game, ending in a score of 130-123 to RTW. Other notable games included Demonic Core's, who annihilated the capable Vengeance Clan 272-40, and the Quake Police Department vs The Desperados and Quake Lords versus the now defunct Terminal Gibbage, both of which resulted in firm wins for the remaining two front-runners.

The Minos Academy managed one of their undependable wins against the Northern Irish Clan TFS, 173-73, and, somewhat less than startlingly, Bog (not so much underdog as dead dog) lost again to the Mandalore Warriors.

Week 9 was less exciting, with 4 Clans (DC, CN, TD, and FK) apparently having gone AWOL with their results (John, could I have some clarification on this?). The QPD had an easy game against RTW, winning 165-26, whilst the Quake Lords played the LPB-tastic TFS, winning 232-152 as reported last week.

The Weedkillers had evidently changed their brand or their quantities, winning against MA 168-126, and Vengeance lost again, this time to Clan Pendragon, 287-129. Lastly, Bog and the Mandalore Warriors lost again, to CIX and The X respectively.

So, where does this leave the league? With the fall of FK, only the QPD and QL remain unbeaten, and so providing they stay that way one of them is sure to win the entire contest. Both are formidable Clans, and one can only see either of them losing to each other, DC, or possibly CIX, Clan Corpus or Clan Pendragon. With DC, CC and CP behind them, the Quake Lords look to be in a stronger position than QPD, who still have to face both Corpus and Pendragon, but at some point they will have to play each other, and it's impossible to predict that result. Equally, one or the other could fall to another Clan, at which point it's anybody's guess.

Further down the league, CIX, FK and Clan Corpus vie for third place. All are strong Clans, and I'd hate to predict a result here, although Corpus's recent aquisition of the former Terminal Gibbers could give them the edge.

At the bottom of the league, it's difficult to have any idea what will happen, although it's a fair bet that Bog will continue as the butt of my jokes for the forseeable future. The X, Vengeance and The Desperados are all capable if erratic Clans, and any one of them could pull out of their dive and up into the middle of the league at any time.

Week 10, of course, takes place this weekend. Few particularly important matches are scheduled, but I'm still looking forward to it.

SUJOY LOSES- THE ID COMMENT

This just arrived in my mailbox- I'll just hand you straight over:

"Sujoy not invincible shock!

The Quake world was reeling yesterday as it became apparent that Sujoy once lost a game. John Carmack is reported as saying "This is obviously a great disappointment to me. Quake was written by, and for, Sujoy alone. Naturally I am working to correct the flaw responsible for this debacle in Quake 2". American McGee was more forthright: "I accept that Fragga performed well, but at the end of the day, this sort of thing is bad for the game. Why should one idiot spoil it for everyone?"

It's not clear how this could have happened. Sujoy has always maintained that he is completely and utterly invincible and that it is literally impossible to beat him. Poor humble underdog, the noble and modest Fragga, said "I am as surprised as anyone. I only played the game because I enjoy losing".

Commentator on the game, QPD-Danman, explained "Sujoy was took teh rocket, but loses!! :)" It is now abundantly clear that Sujoy is in fact crap, and can be slaughtered by any llama with a 2400 baud modem. It is unlikely that he will ever show his face online again."

Well, there you have it. I was going to challenge Sujoy myself, but in view of this I think I'll spare him the embarrasment...

EDITORIAL COMMENT

Well, well. Time passes, things change, and so on. And so the time has come for me to pontificate briefly once more.

First thing: Quake as a sport, a discussion that has recently reared its large and ugly head on the UK mailing list. I firmly believe that Quake has matured to become the first true Internet-based sport, a partially physical recreation that has seemingly organised itself without outside interference. I'm not sure quite what implications that has, but the mere fact is fascinating by itself.

I may write a longer article on that in the future. For now I'll just say that I welcome any and all input on that issue- if you've got any comments to make that I haven't already hear, please email me.

Secondly, on the subject of my personal policy for News From The Front. I try very hard to keep NFTF an interesting, occasionally controversial, page intended entirely to inform and entertain its readership. It has never yet been my intention to offend anyone in any way in what I write in these pages, and I can't see very many times when it would be. A couple of times in the recent past I have written things that have offended or irritated people- I'm sorry about that. If I was to write something deliberately to offend it would be because I had deeply held views on the subject, and never simply to raise a laugh at someone's expense.

I'm writing for you.

We now return you to our regularly non-pretentious broadcast.

NEW LIST, SAME AS THE OLD LIST

The UKClan mailing list, run by CC-Illusion, is no more. Illu:

"Sorry, but the UK Clan Mailing List is now deceased. I tried to upgrade the server software to the next version, but due to a VERY shit install program it wiped over the user.dat file which had all the subscribed addresses in it. Once again, sorry, but it was fun while it lasted."

However, Minos have stepped into the breach with a new list, which you can subscribe to by emailing it with the subject "subscribe".

Same old, same old...

SUJOY'S GOING HOME IN A F---ING AMBULANCE...

Yes, the big man has fallen. Sujoy challenged Fragga to a couple of games, and.. well, it would be criminal to reveal any more. Check Danman's report on QuakePerfect for details of the apocalyptic struggle.

Thanks to Boywonder for that.

UKCL, THEY SAY- "SHADDAP!"

John Burton emails me with the following information:

"The UKCL have set up a new channel on CLANET. The new channel is #ukcl-chat and is open to anyone to say anything they want.

From now on, only clan leaders are allowed into #ukcl on match days, anyone who isn't a clan leader will be kicked immediately. I would suggest that clans sit in this channel on match days while the clan leaders sit in there and in #ukcl. "

Remember, emails about this to the UKCL mailbox please.

UTHER AND RAWMEAT SET THE DATE

For the next ClanMeet, of course. Uther Pendragon tells me that the planned date for CM2 (funky TLA) is the 5th of July. Clear your diary.

Contact him for details.

CREEK- THUD.

It's finished. Read it.

The UKSPC final report, of course.

THAT PRESENTER WITH THE SUNGLASSES AND SMUG EXPRESSION

Before he mailbombs me, I'm better mention that BoyWonder has done another of his excellent "Rough Guides" for UKCL players- the Rough Guide To UKCLDM2. Great stuff, as always, including guides to all those hard-to-reach items and a wireframe model of the whole level. Lovely.

Oh, the headline? Well, I was going to do a "Rough Guide" joke, but realised I couldn't remember who that female presenter with the sunglasses was, so I didn't. Answers on a postcard please...

AARRGGHHHH.

Either Easynet or my mail client has problems. It looks like my hour's computer use today will be fixing them.

The final part of the UKSPC final report will be tomorrow. Honestly...

If you've sent me mail, I haven't got it yet. Apologies- I will. I hope.

HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN, JIGGETY JIG...

Yes, I've been away again. On Wednesday all my computing time was used up on the QW 1.5 test with the UKCL, and on Thursday I was at Spring Harvest all day and returned about 11ish, completely knackered. I will try to tell people if service will be interrupted in future, but my time tends to be a little- unplanned...

GROFFY'S GETTING OVERWHELMED...

Nick, administrator of the UKCL, made the following comment to the UKClan Mailing list today:

"I shall probably only say this once. Basically if you have a direct problem with the UKCL then please direct it to the UKCL mailbox not just myself or John.. We both have lives to live so at some points we can't answer our emails. This way the situation can be resolved."

OK, mea culpa. In future I'll be attaching the UKCL email address to all UKCL-related articles as well as John or Nick's. If you have a problem or question relating directly to the UKCL please address it there.

SECOND CLANMEET ON THE CARDS

The first Clanmeet, organised by CC-RawMeat and Uther Pendragon and graced by such luminaries as Sujoy, lothlw and Fuckall, was a staggering success, by all accounts, drawing in 36 Quakers from all over the country. And now, it's back. Uther Pendragon reports...

"Rawmeat and I are currently working on arranging this for late July. We already have the go ahead from Shoot N Surf for an entire evening session (18:00 onwards).

Could people please email me or Rawmeat if they are interested - there is a piece up on my homepage about the arrangements. Personally I'm going to stay over in London this time, so that I can pace myself drink wise (yeah, right)."

I'm going to move heaven and earth to be there this time, and I've already mailed Uther with some suggestions. If you have any ideas, concepts, help (particularly if you could offer a place to crash...), or just want to register your interest, do as the man says and email him.

If you want some details on the last Clanmeet, I advise you to check out Rawmeat's report, a piece on which you can find in the NFTF archives. Hey, if there's been a Clanmeet, and the next one's to come, wouldn't that make them the Once And Future Pissups?

UKCL WEEK 9- TFS VS QL MATCH REPORT

I've had few details on the week's games yet (and haven't even written a report on Week 8- eek), but news of two games has filtered through on the grapevine. Firstly, the Frag Kings were beaten fair and square by underdog Clan The Desperados, with new player TD-Crash leading the D's through to a victory.

As for the second match, I'll hand over to QL-Lord Storm for details of his Clan's game against the Northern Irish Clan TFS...

"The game was a 5 on 5 match between QL and TFS, played on UKCLDM1 level by Spirit. The Lords turned up with just Ettu as an official LPB, Storm on ISDN and 3 modems players Baby, Cenobite and Xpectre, our new recruit.

It was a bit of a shock when TFS turned up with all players having sub 75ms pings! However, we are used to it now, and it does not bother us that much as we know our teamplay is far better than people like to think.

This turned out to be a very good match with the Lords taking the early lead and holding fast on the main areas, The RL red armour area and the Quad UKCL area. After 10 minutes it was becoming clear that Ettu, Ceno and I had taken control of the match, occupying the top three slots in the scoreboard and starting to pull away. The main action then swung to the Outside area, with control of the RL, red armour and health combo paramount.

I had accepted that I would hold this area fast in tactic talks with Ettu. And well it was some of the most frantic action I have every played in Quake ever.!!! The rockets were flying like mad, and the body counts were rising- it was all right holding the area until a TFS dude appeared, 666'ed up to the hilt and just stood there waiting for the RL to respawn. Time to do a runner!

By the last ten minutes of the game it seemed that TFS had really had the stuffing knocked out of them but they never gave up. Right down to the last seconds they never let up: a very enjoyable game.

The Lords look forward to the return of our LPB players- not that we need to field a whole team of LPB's to play anyone!"

UKSPC FINAL PART TWO- THE FULL REPORT...

As you may know if you read NFTF regularly, the long-running UK Single Player Championship High-Ping division recently concluded in a league-style final conducted over two nights. For details of part one of the gripping final, check last Monday's update.

At the end of last week, DC-Jibsta was clearly in a winning position, with all his matches except the grand Deathmatch final won and a clear 50-frag margin over FK-Fuckall, the nearest contender. TG-Scanman had conceded his place in the final, Smebo had only one game left and a score of 36, and neither Zoser nor Shadow could possibly match the leaders, with scores of -1 and 3 and 2 and 1 game to play respectively. Only five games remained: Zoser vs Fuckall, Zoser vs Shadow, Fuckall vs Smebo, the replay of the flawed Zoser vs Smebo game and the grand final Deathmatch for all contestants.

I arrived late to the final, and instantly was assailed by a torrent of information. Shadow, late of Vengeance and now a free agent had resigned from the final, and so no scores against him would count toward the final frag counts. The preson hardest hit by this was Fuckall, reduced in score by 26 frags, but all contestants save Zoser would be affected.

Secondly, Smebo had beaten the formidable Fuckall in a stunningly close game 16 frags to 14. Fuckall had apparently controlled the game earlier on 7 frags to nil, but then "it all went downhill", with Smebo's skillful play winning him the day against Fuckall in an aggressive and fast-moving game. Both players said this was a tough contest, which considerably reduced Fuckall's chance to win the day against Jibsta.

Zoser was the next to play Smebo, facing up to him on his hated DM4. This was a slow, tactical game in which Smebo's patience and Zoser's self-proclaimed fatal attraction to lava ("I rocket jumped out of the lava twice") won him a narrow 10-7 victory.

Zoser and Fuckall's vying for the position of Lava King (Zoser: "Anyone can beat me on dm4!" Fuckall: "not me.") rpovided an interesting backdrop to the last 1 on 1 game of the contest. With their very different styles (Fuckall's fast, fluid play against Zoser's tactical ability but self-confessed hatred of the level) this was obviously going to be an interesting game.

Fuckall established a 5-1 lead in the first few minutes of the game with fluid use of the Quad Damage, but then seemed incapable of increasing his score, killing himself with Quad powered rocket blasts to nearby objects whenever he seemed about to break away. Meanwhile, Zoser's skill and determination slowly earned him frags, working up to 5-3 and then after another rush by FA to 9-5. The lava seemed to have lost its grip on this game, but the players more than made up for it with explosives accounting for almost as many frags as their enemies.

Slowly the pattern became clear: both players were equally skilled, but only Fuckall had the knack of getting to the vital Quad Damage, which he used again and again to push himself higher than Zoser's slow but steadily increasing frag count. With 7 minutes to go Fuckall collected the Quad again and rampaged to 15-5, and then held on grimly, using the Quad, the Rockets and sheer skill to hold onto his 10 frag lead until the end, where he held 21 frags to Zoser's 12.

And so, all that remained was a recount of the final scores before the last, climactic Deathmatch. Just to confuse me still further, I'd misunderstood the scoring system. As FA patiently explained, only games that were won contributed any score, with the loser's score being subtracted from the winner's to give the total frags the winner recieved from that game. Confused? Yes, I was.

I waited as breathlessly as the contestants for the scores so far to be calculated. Fuckall had won only one match, against Zoser, giving him 9 frags, to which would be added his total in the deathmatch for his final score. Zoser had not won a game, giving him 0 frags. Jibsta, decimating everything in his path, had won all his games and now led by a devastating 45 frags. Lastly, Smebo lagged in third place, with only 5 frags from his win against Fuckall.

It seemed obvious that Jibsta had the trophy in the bag. After all, Fuckall would have to get 36 frags more than Jibsta to even draw with him. There was no way he would even get close. Or so we thought...

The map for the final conflict was voted to be DM2, a spacious, well-designed and deadly level for an epic conflict. The four contestants prepared themselves, and one by one flickered out of IRC.

Fuckall started off brilliantly, immediately grabbing the Quad and blasting his way to 11 frags in the first 4 minutes. Meanwhile, Zoser trailed with 3 frags in second, and Jibsta leapt in the lava, spending minutes at a negative frag count. It was obvious things were not going as expected.

Eight minutes in, Fuckall had the level grasped in his teeth and wasn't about to let go, with 17 frags to Zoser's 8. It was obvious that Smebo was having major problems with the respawn bug that had plagued him throughout the tournament, whilst exactly what had happened to Jibsta, who had dragged himself up by the skin of his teeth to 3 frags, was unknown. As Fuckall rocketjumped again to the Quad and set off on another mission of destruction it was obvious that unless Jibsta recovered quickly he was going to lose his crown.

Then Fuckall vanished suddenly from the server, and Spirit.CP, the match administrator, paused the game. Jibsta was obviouly not happy: apparently he was almost completely unable to move for long periods of time, and consequentally was unable to hit anything or amass anything like a decent score. Over the next few minutes after Fuckall returned Jibsta managed to push himself up to 9 frags, blasting the similarly afflicted Smebo for most of those, but Fuckall leapt to 27 frags in that time, over half way to his target to win the UKSPC.

Zoser was catching up on Fuckall when again FA crashed, and the match ground to a halt. Jibsta and Smebo were spitting with rage as their connection robbed them of their chance of victory, when Spirit fiddled with the server, and suddenly either Fate or technical genius took a hand. The match restarted, and suddenly Jibsta and Smebo could move. And the air blurred.

In six minutes Jibsta blasted himself from 9 to 23 frags, abruptly overtaking Zoser's previously unassailable second place. Smebo, also seemingly infected with the spirit of Romero, leapt for the Quad, caught it, and watched the gibs rain down as he racked up 10 frags in a couple of minutes, blasting anything in his path. At last, the game was afoot, and Zoser and Fuckall were abruptly shaken out of their complacency about the result.

Fuckall, now clearly unable to win the overall contest, set about ensuring his win in the match, whilst Zoser suddenly had to fight for his second place against Smebo and Jibsta coming up from behind in the scores. With five minutes to go, Zoser managed to gain a clear 6 frag lead over Jibsta, as he did so coming within four frags of the first place Fuckall had held from the beginning, and beginning to narrow the gap.

The last few minutes were among the most exciting I've seem in any game of Quake. Smebo blasted Jib and Zoser. Jibsta gibbed Fuckall, staying barely ahead now of Smebo's rising score. Finally, the match ended, with two frags occuring in the last 15 seconds as the counter ticked down to the close.

The result, of course, you know already. Jibsta won the UKSPC with a total of 72 frags to Fuckall's 50. Zoser came third with 33 frags, and Smebo was again the runner up with only 29 frags total. All of the players in this last drama, though, are superbly skilled Quakers, and they all deserve congratulations for their skillful play and dedication, as do the administrators, without whom the UKSPC would never have worked.

Roll on the Low-Ping division.

News From The Front and all written material therin is copyright 1997 The Nomad This page has had visitors since 26th May 1997 Report News to nomad@easynet.co.uk