"ALAN PARTRIDGE'S WORLD CUP COUNTDOWN TO '94"

GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

 "That was a goal!"

We start off with some clips of Alan's unique in depth commentary of goals of the past. Vision seems pointless when we get such explanations as:

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yeeeeeaaaaas! That was a goal."

"Striker!"

"Eat that! And another!"

"TWAT! That was liquid football."

"SHIT! Did you see that? He must have a foot like a traction engine"

"The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding, in this case, is football. Boof! Eat my goal! The goalie has got football pie all over his shirt."

"Three weeks of non-stop action"

Alan's soccer-meter explains the group system so that even a small child can understand FIFA's crazy ideas.

"I'm Alan Partridge and that will be my World Cup '94. You can come too. Join me!"