2000Translating haiku is very challenging. The point has been made by Susumu Takiguchi, chairman of the World Haiku Club, has lived three decades in England, and writes haiku in his own and adopted languages.
Essay 2000
Translating haiku is very challenging. The point has been made
by Susumu Takiguchi, chairman of the World Haiku Club, has lived
three decades in England, and writes haiku in his own and adopted
languages.
He has pointed out that the 17-syllable rule of haiku is based on a false premise.He prefers to refver to haiku's 17 Japanese "beats." These beats don't translate into 17 English syllables, and so attempts to slavishly follow this rule can result in over complex poems.
Others however make the point that, if this restriction is removed,
then haiku all to easily becomes a simplistic and may loose the
necessary discipline and profound challenge. How much more so
when translation is involved.
I seldom find the translated poem really capture the essence of
the original, though on occasion it may actually improve or add
to the intended thought or incident observed.
Can this be regarded as a somewhat specialised kind of found haiku
perhaps ?
Below is a Serbocroatian paper's version of some of my early haiku translated back ino English by someone unfamiliar with the original.
Translation back into English original version in bold print
the severe winter's wind bitter winter wind
bends people and branches bending people and branches
from all sides backwards and forwardssitting one beside the another sitting close together
their hands joined ( in a hug) clasping hands-
but not together. but not each othersthe peace on the sea five dolphins
five dophins leaping leaping high
on the towel of sand on the beach towelfind yet one more- again today
the white butterfly decides white butterfly
not to stay decides not to stay
the lake rythms
frogs are leaping ?
sound and echoes
the kitten is found found kitten
father smiles and father smiles
deep sadness sighs inwardly
stormy clouds passing by, after the spring storm
throwning down drops of rain birds shake raindrops from feathers
on feathers and wires and telephone linesthe blind woman is listening the blind woman
how quietly is falling in a posture of listening
the first gingko nut ginkgo nuts rain down
In Festivaldavid2000 from Soria, Spain programm e
The first poem seems to be fairly accurate and conveys the same image.
intense heat intenso calor
even the lizards incluso los lagarto
take siesta duermen la siesta
but the following one seems to have a different meaning due to the misunderstanding of the word swift. meaning in English quick ( translated to Spanish: pronto) but also the name of a bird ( Spanish - avion zapador)
Unfortunately the one syllable word 'swift' turns into six syllables in Spanish !
endless circles circulos interminables
brown on blue marron en azul
cathedral swifts de pronto la catedral