Honey & Vitriol

by mez 

"Are you getting out soon?"
[yes, i am planning on getting out of this tepid backwash bathwater
soon]

"Do you love me?"
[yes, i love you so much/too much/much much]

"Do you want a drink?"
[yes, i want to drink away...one drink away...one that will soothe all
my feelings and barbed scar pits]

Do yoU Fear mE?
DO yOU FeeL mUCh pOSSIbLe pAiN?
DO YoU SEeK To SMAsH mY WORRiES AND TERRORS jUST BECAUSE yOU CAN?
DO YOU ASK ALL OF THE RIGHT QUESTIONS?

THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE.
[i whisper to the rain...the bathrain of sweat and tears as they seek
out my chin and mix with blackened eye ash and ebony eyeliner dust]

THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE
[i chant to my rocking body as bath-tremors shake and shimmer in the
babyoiled light]

THIS IS NOT
[this is not a love song]

THIS IS KNOT
[if this is a not, one knot, many nots, then let it be the right
one...the only one...the one that those romance novels word croon to
and that those sap songs musically ooze over]

THIS IS
[knott wrong & this isn't not right...this just is...is not a matter of
questions and questionings...]

THIS IS NOT A QUEST
to find answers or prove my body wrong 
as it prunes its skin in this half candlelighted night...

THIS
is a honeyed liquid time 
your fingertips pour treaclewords which sweeten all my hurts 
and quench my vitriol's thirst.

**mezchine****[m]e-zine*****menigx*******me[nz]truallic******
[[[[[[[wollongong.starway.net.au/~mezandwalt]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]][z(][x]]]