Bad Poetry

As some of you may already be aware, I was recently dumped just split up with my girlfriend of the last five years, and, as a result, have turned to writing bad poetry . The novel I have been working on for the last few years (cough) is actually going backwards at the moment, I haven't written a short story in living memory, and as for other things (journalism, fortune cookies and the like), there doesn't even seem to be a great deal of that at the moment.

So.

Bad poetry it is then. Don't say I didn't warn you.

"there's no future in our love," she said
i hope you understand."
"yes," i said, "of course," and smiled sadly
as i touched her hand

"soon i will be earning real money
you'll be struggling still."
"yes," i said, "it will cause problems."
"yes," she said. "i know it will."

"that's not why i'm leaving you though."
"course not. never crossed my mind."
"it's just we live in different worlds."
"i know." "but do you?" "yes." "good." "fine."

"we have had a good five years."
"i have loved you very much."
"i still do love you." "and i you."
"yes i know." "but very much."

"but not enough." i didn't say it.
not enough to carry on.
not enough the logical conclusion
of her pro and con

nice guy, loyal, good in bed
attentive, honest, not bad looks
but skint and messy, often moody
rarely cleans and never cooks

add it up and do the calculations
there in black and white
on paper at the bottom of your list
the answer must be right

"so. it's over." "yes." "i love you."
"yes." "i love you too." "i know."
"there's no future in our love." "you said."
"it's not the money." "no."

we who now know that we are strong and weak
have we wept have we wondered are we numb
we wished but we worried and we went our weary way
with the whine and the wail of the dumb

apart, individually deconstructing feelings
calm as the devil with a butterfly mind
and alone in an unfamiliar dungeon without meaning
and gone. like we were never there. with nothing left behind

they who endeavour to deny the undeniable
demanding of the demons that they divvy up their share
shall receive and rejoice and regret the hell the morning after
scattershot your karma you can lose it anywhere

but we who know now that we are weak and strong
shall learn to hide our sorrow our sin
we slipped and we slept and forgot about the morning after
here where the dreams begin

single with a bullet
like brick shrapnel to the brain
your pre-emptive strike has bombed my heart
and shattered me in pain

you thought we had no future
so you looked into the past
and went back to the time we thought
that it would never last

and now with war approaching
and the battle to stay sane
your life is all in order
and i'm on my own again

single with a bullet
and i'm dying for a fuck
for a cuddle for a smile
but i just ran out of luck