.
It's the close season and alex ferguscum, the manager of scum football club, goes on a scouting trip to Bosnia. Whilst there he sees a real classy striker, and promptly signs him. Well the first game of the season comes round and it's scum Vs Liverpool in the big N.W. derby. The lad comes on as a substitute and scores a hat-trick... winning the game for scum. Doubtless to say, after the game he's really pleased and he rings up his mother, telling her of his success. To his surprise,she is crying on the other end of the phone. "Mother what is wrong?". "Well son, this morning your sister was raped by a gang of thugs, and your brother was savaged by a pack of wild dogs. At lunchtime your father was shot by a sniper and to top it all off, this afternoon I was mugged coming back from the shops". "Oh mum I'm sorry", he responds". Your sorry?!?,  it was your fault we moved to manchester in the first place!"
 



.

fatscum.jpg (47341 bytes)


.
.......... ..................           
.
.
.....        ...   ......................................


.Clickonathumbto see a schmeichelsgobsizeversion.
.


 TroubleBrewing
AtTheTheatre of Wet Dreams
.
wanking256.jpg (84327 bytes)

Scum fans are looking for peace talks with the company about the escalating row over wanking in seated areas at the Theatre of Wet Dreams. The problem has worsened in recent weeks amid claims of ridicule and intimidation by security and vermin control agents Scumcontrol. Things came to a head at the Boxing Day Fixture, when fights broke out with security men as supporters ejaculated. Keith Tosspot, a mouthpiece for the Scum care in the Community Supporters Association said:our next home clients are on January 10th. We have to meet and discuss this problem before then. The brutality of the security staff is unbelievable. We have been attacked with batons, guns, and nerve gas in recent weeks. I put it to Mr Tosspot that may be this was a little bit of an exaggeration on his part, at which point he flew in to a rage shouting on about everyone else being jealous and how he didn't care anyway. The associations secretary Gillian Easilyled added, The problem has grown since the share price has risen. What used to be furtive fiddling in trouser pockets has now become blatant unashamed mass wanking. Maurice Cashgrabber, a scum director and company arsehole said: Any legitimate complaints will be ignored.  These morons must realise they cannot wank persistently, it is against the law as well as being anti-social.