| Full name: | Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. |
| Occupation: | Operator of the Kwik-E-Mart. |
| Horrible memory: | Thought he was a hummingbird of some kind after working 96 hours straight. |
| Status: | Semi-legal alien. |
| Diet: | Strict vegetarian: no meat, no milk, no eggs. |
| Quote: | "I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know." |