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| Occupation: | Retired cranberry silo night watchman; patriarch of the Simpsons. |
| Residence: | Springfield Retirement Castle (where the elderly can hide from the inevitable). |
| Attire: | Bolo tie and bedroom slippers, except when attending funerals and award shows. |
| Prescriptions: | Two red pills for back spasms and a yellow one for arrhythmia. |
| Avoids: | Stairs; sticking to the point. |
| Favorite shop: | Herman's Military Antiques. |
| Favorite pastime: | Napping. |
| Least-favorite pastime: | Spending time with his family. |
| Quote: | "I can dress myself." |