KRUSTY (THE CLOWN)

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Distinctive features: Big nose; big red hair; loud, baggy clothes; superfluous nipple.
Humble beginning: As a street mime in Tupelo, Mississippi.
Medical file: Had a near-fatal on-the-air heart attack in 1986; triple bypass surgery and pacemaker recipient; once went in for plastic surgery to change his identity and ended up with a boob job.
Professional highlights: Played FDR on stage and could not remember to stay in the wheelchair; almost knighted by Queen Elizabeth.
Charitable acts: Led celebrity recording for a boy stuck in a well.
Autobiography: One critic said it was "self-serving" and "filled with glaring omissions."