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| Occupation: | Professional A-Lick to Mr. Burns. |
| Duties: | Squeezing juice for Burns in the morning; tucking him in at night; moistening his eyeballs; removing his dead skin; lying to Congress; 2,795 other odd jobs. |
| Calling: | To be the sobering Yin to Mr. Burn's raging Yang. |
| Secret shame: | Home computer screen-saver featuring a naked Mr. Burns. |
| Proudest accomplishment: | Owns the largest Malibu Stacy collection in the world. |
| Quote: | "I've never gone behind Mr. Burn's back before, but Sideshow Bob's ultra-conservative views, er, conflict with my...choice of lifestyle." |